Melanie couldn’t be still as she paced the apartment, waiting for Andy to walk in the door. She’d found a note on the counter saying he had gone out and not to worry about dinner because he was taking care of it. It seemed like a nice gesture, but after what she’d found in the closet when she was pulling out some jeans made the whole nice thought go to hell. She was nervous and felt her body was shaking. It was way past time to confront him about his behavior and now this thing that she found. It was so confusing and frustrating.
Just then, she heard the knob turning and in came Andy, carrying a big paper bag with a huge smile on his face. Melanie tried to keep her wits about her as he set the bag down on the kitchen counter and came up to her. She wasn’t going to just let it go this time.
She braced herself as Andy gave her a sultry kiss and took off his jacket. He was looking a little thinner these days, and it actually suited him well. It was hard not to just jump him right there. “So, I made a trip to the market today and got all my favorite seafood, only the best for my baby. I thought it would be nice to celebrate you officially moving in. How does that sound?”
She gave Andy a weak smile as he began to unload the paper bag onto the counter. She felt like she was going to choke at the sight of how much he had bought. It was enough to feed a whole house full of people.
“Oh, and I also got you this.” He pulled something out of his pocket, a little black box with gold lettering on it. For a moment she felt her heart begin to melt. She took the box from him and opened it to find a gold charm bracelet inside with a motorcycle charm already on it as well as a heart. There was plenty of room to add more, and she got the feeling it was a high carat count as well.
She felt her resolve failing. How could she be mad at him when he was doing such romantic things for her? But then again, gestures like that always reeked of a guilty conscience. She knew she still had to say something.
“Andy, we need to talk.” Melanie sighed and collapsed into a dining room chair as if she were exhausted. She was already switching out much of his furniture for hers, temporarily upgrading the style at least a little until she could afford to redo the whole place.
“Okay, go ahead. I’ve gotta get dinner going so that we get to eat before midnight.” He chuckled, and it was like nails on a chalkboard to Melanie knowing she was about to ruin his good mood.
“You’ve been acting strangely lately, Andy. You lose contact with me. You missed AA without warning. And then, you missed breakfast with my mother.” It felt good to finally get all of it out in the open.
“I know, I know babe. Things have been really tough with work, I told you that. It’s made me really tired and off schedule. I am really sorry. That’s partially why I went all out tonight. I’d really like to make it up to you.” His sheepish grin almost succeeded in charming her as he turned around for a moment to flash it at her from a distance. She put her head in her hands for a moment, taking all of it in. Work was no longer a good excuse, and she knew it. But how could she bring it up without ruining everything?
“I realize that it’s been a difficult time, Andy, but the strikes are adding up. I can’t ignore it anymore. I need to know what’s going on with you. Are you okay? Are you going to be at the next AA meeting? Where do you go when you’re not here? I mean, I live here with you now. It’s getting serious, and sometimes it feels like I have no idea who you are or what you do when you aren’t at home.”
Melanie could feel the fight in her becoming about much more than a little bit of strange behavior. She couldn’t put her finger on the reason why, but somehow she felt betrayed and used. She felt like something was going on, a whole world of somethings maybe, that she knew nothing about. It just didn’t seem right knowing how quick he was to share his hectic life with her from the beginning.
She watched him as he placed something in the oven and turned down the heat on one of the burners. He had all four of them going. How an apartment could handle such power usage she was not sure.
He walked over to her and pulled up a chair where there wasn’t a table sitting in between them. “I’m sorry you feel that way, Melanie,” he said, taking her hand in his and kissing it. “Things have been crazy, and I see now how that’s not a good excuse, but it’s the only reason I have for you. Sometimes, we just have to go with the flow good or bad, right? But nothing is wrong. Nothing is going on. You don’t have to worry. Let me do the worrying here, okay babe?”
His eyes sparkled, dancing in the light as he looked into her as if he was being so honest. She wanted to believe that nothing was wrong, but how could she after finding what she had? Maybe it was time to bring it up.
She was about to open her mouth when the doorbell rang. She stared at it as if something evil had come for her. “You better get that, babe. I think it’s for you.” Andy patted her hands one last time before heading back to the kitchen as Melanie stood up and headed slowly for the door. Who could it possibly be? Andy seemed to know who it was.
She cautiously opened the door to see a young boy standing there with a vase full of beautiful flowers; some of the most beautiful flowers she’d ever seen. “Delivery for Melanie Verratti,” the boy said, practically shoving the flowers at her. She took them, proudly, almost feeling like she might cry. She wasn’t quite sure if her emotions were from the fact that he had planned something so beautiful or because she felt that it was all ruined now that she knew he was hiding things from her.
She thanked the boy and shut the door, taking the time to slowly sniff each flower individually, taking in the scent. She wanted to remember the beauty, the sweetness that was there before she had to bring the whole night crashing to the ground.
It mixed with the surprisingly wonderful smells coming from the kitchen. She walked over to take a peek, setting the flowers down on the dining table on the way. They would make an amazing centerpiece. She hoped they’d survive for a long time.
As she looked over the counter she could see soup and pasta both boiling while he baked and fried two different kinds of seafood, and there was more where that came from. It looked like it was going to be an amazing meal. She just hoped they could still have it after whatever fight they would have ensued.
Melanie sighed, building up her courage to say what she knew she had to. She took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen, standing on the opposite counter as Andy. She was close enough to wrap her arms around him, so that’s what she did, leaning her head into his back.
She ruffled his hair affectionately before stepping back a bit. “Andy, I saw the gun. Now tell me what’s going on.”
Even from behind she could tell that he’d frozen still, shocked by her admission. There was no backing down now, and he couldn’t lie to her now that she had caught him red-handed.
He turned around to face her, and she could see his chest rise and fall in a resigned sort of huff. “I didn’t want to scare you or drag you into this, Melanie. I’m protecting you. But I guess that’s not my decision to make.” He shrugged his shoulders, and Melanie bared her eyes into him, feeling worried about what he could have to tell her. “I told you that the Colombians have decided to use Satan’s Cubs MC exclusively. That means bigger shipments much more often. We almost constantly have a team out there; some that go to the west coast, some to the east coast, and some right up the middle. The more cargo we have and the more money we make the more enemies we have, Melanie. Those enemies could be other cartels or other gangs. Either way, they’re dangerous, and sometimes they can even attack us on the road. The Colombians decided we needed extra protection. So, two people on each run have a gun. I’m one of those people, babe.”
His eyes looked sad at the admission, and Melanie wasn’t sure what to say. She thought she’d known what she was getting into when he explained it to her, but it had gotten so much more intense. If he needed a gun, it really must be dangerous. It sent a shiver down her spine picturing him shooting a gun at people, weaving in and out of traffic on his bike.
“I want you to understand that I’m not happy about this at all, Andy. This is scary, and you’re in really deep here. I’m going to go take a bath while you finish up dinner here so that I can calm down and process all of this. Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.” Melanie kissed Andy on the cheek and drug her feet on the way to the bathroom.
As she busied herself grabbing a towel and a rag, getting everything she needed ready, she felt her body going painfully slow. It was like it was dragging behind her. She couldn’t make her brain think about the implications of everything Andy had just told her. Instead, she just slipped her clothes off and hopped into the bathtub, pouring in some bubble bath for good measure.
She leaned back and closed her eyes as the warm water pooled around her. She found herself wishing she had thought to grab her MP3 player before she got in, but she didn’t feel like getting out. In fact, as long as the water was warm she was sure she’d stay there forever.
She could just barely hear the sounds of Andy whipping up the feast he had bought for her. He sounded like he was really throwing himself into it. Maybe that was his way of dealing with the situation. She needed a calming bath, and he needed to cook. She hoped that meant it would be a good meal.
She heard the clicks and crashes that sounded like he was done. He would have to wait to start, though. She was not anywhere near done in the bath. In fact, she found herself feeling afraid of walking back out there, like everything changed in the last few minutes. Maybe it had.
Suddenly, the lights went out in the bathroom, and she jumped looking around to see what happened. In the dark doorway, she could just make out Andy’s silhouette as he lit a candle he kept in the bathroom. The smell of pumpkin spice filled the room, and she realized in the flickering light that Andy was completely disrobed.
Melanie sat there, looking at his shadowy body as he approached her. He had gotten a little thinner, his body looking a bit like a Roman god rather than some bad ass motorcycle guy. She couldn’t help but ogle even though she knew she was still upset over the gun and the fact he’d kept everything a secret.
She didn’t dare say a word as he approached, blocking out the light of the candle from her line of vision. She played with the idea of letting the whole thing go, forgetting about the fight they’d just had. And then, as he bent down to give her a soft kiss on the lips, her mind went numb.
Melanie let Andy drown her with kisses. She didn’t want a chance to breathe, a chance to think. She just wanted him.
She reached her arms up around his neck, and he lifted her up out of the tub, setting her down on the floor. She was dripping wet and had suds all over her body. His hand slipped down to the curve of her back and kept going until he reached her left ass cheek, squeezing it with all his might. She could feel the lust blooming between them in the darkness.
She ran her hands gently up and down his back before digging her nails in a little, just enough to send a wave of pleasure through his spine. She felt him shiver beneath her as instincts began to take over.
He picked her up so quickly and gracefully, she almost didn’t known what was happening until they ran into the wall, and she could feel his hard shaft slip inside of her slick center. Her whole body was still dripping wet just like her insides, and it made her slip easily up and down as he used the wall to help support her along with his hands which were still on her ass cheeks.
She bounced up and down, the wall scraping against her back, her breasts slapping up into Andy’s face. He caught one in his mouth and began to suck on it, flicking his tongue on the nipple and teasing it with his teeth.
She scratched at his back and pulled at his hair, feeling a bit like a wild animal in heat. His cock was penetrating her deep and slamming into her while she bounced up and down until Andy carried her into the bedroom which was even darker.
He threw her down on the bed, her neck hanging over the side. He yanked her legs apart and forward as he stood above her like the man in charge she loved him to be. It made her remember why she wanted Andy so much, what made all the complications so worth it.
He smirked down at her as he stroked her body up and down with both his hands. She moaned and pouted, feeling tortured. She wanted him back inside of her right at that instant or she would explode.
Melanie thought she was going to have to beg as he hiked her legs up and wrapped them around his body but refused to enter her pussy again. Instead. He bent down, kissing up her bare stomach and then up to her chest. When he landed at her neck, her body was folded up to its limit, and Andy began sucking her neck and biting as if he were a vampire in need of her life blood. She was sure to have bruises the next day, but it felt so good she didn’t care.
Then, finally, he decided to satiate her hunger, standing back up and pushing into her as slowly as he could make himself. She could feel the desire in him, radiating off of him. She could tell how hard it was for him to hold back so that he could tease her. He wanted her so badly, and knowing that made her want him even more.
Melanie bucked her body forward, forcing him in the rest of the way. His shaft impaled her, going deeper than ever before. She wanted him to bang her so hard it would hurt for days after, reminding her of how it felt for him to be inside of her.
She could feel the intense connection forming between them, melding them together forever. She didn’t know how she could have ever been so angry or so hurt by this perfect creature. She called out to him as he slammed into her, at first saying his name and then a string of loud nothings. She arched her back as her body began to shake under his grip, and she tightened the hold she had around him with her legs.
He thrusted faster and faster, feral sounds coming from his throat as he climaxed with her, solidifying their relationship, branding them as belonging to one another.
She heard the breath leaving her lungs in quick gasps as if she had just run a marathon. She had definitely worked up an appetite; they both had. Perhaps it was a good thing he had bought so much food.
***
Sunday night was upon Melanie as she went around gathering the dirty laundry that was laying all over the floor of the apartment. She had forgotten after living by herself how messy men were. Andy had gone off to hang out with his friends like he did most Sunday nights now. It was her night to do chores since she got Saturday nights with her friends usually.
It was a nice arrangement, and it felt almost like they were a married couple sometimes. It made her feel hopeful and happy about the future, especially now that Andy was being completely honest with her.
She smiled to herself about it as she started throwing the laundry into the washer. She had at least two loads of clothes and one of towels to wash, and she really wanted to get down in time to relax and read a book. It was something she hadn’t gotten to do in a long time. But now that she was sober, employed, and had a nice routine going with Andy she was determined to pick it back up.
Melanie felt something drop on her foot as she threw a pair of Andy’s jeans into the washer and shut the lid. She rolled her eyes at the fact that he didn’t take whatever it was out of his pocket. What did he ever do without her? He probably washed thousands of dollars over the years.
She bent down to pick it up and instantly realized it was not money or anything of the sort. It was a plastic bag full of white powder. She didn’t know of many things that looked like that, and unless the Colombians were all of a sudden dealing in chemical warfare, there was only one thing that made any sense. And it sent her into a terrible rage.
After all they had gone through, after she had given him every opportunity to spill his guts, that’s what he was doing behind her back? She couldn’t believe he had stepped foot into Addicts Anonymous with her knowing full well he had fallen off the wagon. How long had it been going on?
Whatever the answer was, she was going to find out. Not caring that she was in a T-shirt and sweats, her hair tied up in a ponytail, she grabbed her purse and keys, running out the door. She knew exactly where to find him, and she was going to let him have it for doing this. He was going to answer her questions, and then she was going to call Martin for help. They would intervene.
As she drove down the mostly empty road to the warehouse district he’d taken her to before her mother had her fall, she had to reassure herself over and over. It was going to be alright. She’d tell him she knew and that she wanted to help. Martin would know how to handle him. Andy would come willingly, and maybe he wasn’t that far gone. Maybe it hadn’t been going on that long.
She took a deep breath as she pulled up to the warehouse that was the hangout for his motorcycle gang. Sure enough, she spotted both his and Frank’s bikes parked outside. She was almost apprehensive to go in now that she was there. What would she find? What would he say?
Knowing she had no choice but to continue, she walked right in and stood frozen. She spotted Andy immediately. He was dancing with some young girl who must also be a member of the gang. She could see Frank sitting at a table, snorting a line, and at least two others were smoking crack. As Andy spun the pretty girl around and caught Melanie’s eye, she could see by the wild look he had and the way his eyes were that he was high as a kite. How many Sunday nights had he spent that way?
The girl was cackling as Andy left her to walk over to Melanie, but she remained stiff even as his arm wrapped around her waist. There was nothing he could do to stifle the pain she felt in that moment knowing he had hidden something from her again.
She felt tears welling up in her eyes as she tried to get him off of her. “Please, let go, Andy. I need to leave. I can’t do this.” She pleaded with him over and over in a whisper, but it didn’t work. He was lost to her. She looked around the room for a friend to help, but they were all wrapped up in each other. The only one she recognized was Frank. Even he was full of betrayal.
Then, like a miracle, Rebecca emerged from the bathroom, and she was sober. She calmly walked up to them and started coaxing Andy off of Melanie. “C’mon, Andy. Let’s go get some fresh air, alright? Melanie needs to talk to you. Maybe you can take her home.” Rebecca looked at Melanie and nodded for her to follow. Melanie could tell that Rebecca knew how she felt at that moment.
It made her wonder how long the same thing had been going on with Frank. The best couple she knew had a huge problem, a huge rift between them. Did Rebecca stick around because she was addicted to being with Frank? It didn’t seem too far-fetched at the moment. Everyone must be addicted to something or someone. Was that all there was in life; addictions and obsessions? Or would people like her and Andy ever find peace?
They made it outside, and Rebecca propped Andy up on his bike. Melanie could tell that Andy was beginning to sober up. She’d heard cocaine highs didn’t last very long, but the thought of facing him after sobering up was worse. She knew there was no choice, though.
“I’ll be right inside if you need me, Mel, okay?” Rebecca patted Melanie on the back and then headed inside, leaving her and Andy alone in the cool night air.
“Andy?” Melanie asked slowly, approaching him. He looked like he was crashing, like someone who had just worked a 24-hour shift and couldn’t stay awake any longer. “Andy, I found cocaine in your things when I was doing laundry. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. How long has this been going on?”
Andy looked up at her and quickly bowed his head back down. “Since the run I got the call about. The Colombians made me do it to prove my loyalty; me and Frank. I thought I could handle it, but I can’t.”
Something about the defeat in his voice and the way he seemed to be accusing others of his fall back into his addiction made Melanie feel furious. Besides, if his job was ruining his life like that it was time to quit. He could be a respectable man at a respectable job if he wanted to. Why did he insist on doing this job if it was hurting him?
“Then, you should have gone to AA. You should have asked for help,” she snapped back at him. The only response she got from him was a nod. Her anger once again took a turn for despair. She couldn’t let herself ball her eyes out in front of him. She had to get out of there, fast.
“I don’t know what to do about this, Andy. You need help, and I don’t know if I’m the one that should do it. I have to go now.” She rushed to her car, feeling the tears begin to sting as they ran out. She needed comfort that Andy could no longer give her before she lost it.
So, she headed straight for Jude’s without a second thought, hoping to find Caleb there. There was no way she could hold it together over the phone.