Somewhere Over the Rainbow, I've Lost My Damn Mind: A Manic's Mood Chart (2 page)

COSI
:
C
enter
O
f
S
cience and
I
ndustry. COSI is all about mind-blowing fun, providing opportunities to play, explore, discover and learn together.
Who wouldn’t want to go on a date here? I mean, they also have Astronaut Ice Cream, badass, I know.

Cap’n Geech and the Shrimp Shack Shooters
:
The Wonders
’ musical influence. Hint: Tom Hanks directed, wrote and starred in this movie.

Child please
: “Is like a nice way to tell someone: man, fuck you!”- Chad Ochocinco

City of Wind
: Common’s nickname for Chicago I’m “borrowing,” hopefully without any kind of financial or other negative consequences. I actually paid for your music online, Common. Can we call it even?

Cycling
: Going from dancing to crying in about a second flat and then back to dancing before my eyes can dry, only to end up right back at crying. Repeat.

D

d01roK
: The manic me.

DayWasted
: Drunk with the sun still up. I totally stole this from Olivia Munn; Olivia if you’re upset about it, we can talk about it over dinner.

Derr
: A sarcastic response to an obvious question, inspired by a quote from
Saving Silverman
.
Yes, I know, I have shitty taste in movies.

Danke
: It’s German for something . . .

DIA
: Denver International Airport (or the Emerald City when I’m manic).

“
Drop Inches From Your Waistline While Only Partially Losing Your Mind”

!!!Investment opportunities still available!!!

Drunky Brewster:
Similar to DayWasted (my dinner offer still stands Olivia) except the drunkenness carries over, into and through the night.

Dumbfoundedness
: A state of complete and utter confusion characterized by symptoms of stupidity and numbness.

E

.e4
: www.e4-d01rok.blogspot.com. Where this all got started.

Effin’:
The F-Bomb, Firetruck, Frick, Frack, Fudge, or Fuck(in).

El Doc
: Cincinnati doctor in charge of the study I participated after he found me manic as shit in the psych ward. The study was using a MRI machine to compare brain images of people in manic episodes with ones when they are out of the mania and on lithium; good people.

F

Fag
: A cigarette (I assure you).

G

Ganked
: To borrow something without any intention of returning it, OK it’s stealing.

Gainer
: A badass back somersault while jumping forward and capping it off with a can opener or sleeper (diver’s preference) into a pool.

Gonosyphilaherpaids
: It burns, burns
real
bad when you pee. I mean, I’ve only read about the symptoms.

“
Gournal”
: “Don’t you mean journal?” “
Yeah, whatever. I guess I’m not all smart like you.”-
Wet Hot American Summer
but I’m sure you all already knew that obscure and random pop-culture reference from Paul Rudd and Elizabeth Banks.

Grass fairy
: Name I was called for playing soccer while growing up (not that I still have a complex about it or anything).

H

Hole(d)
: A mood state in which the mania grabs me and won’t let go, spinning me down into a hole of despair in my mind where I fight it off over a matter of minutes (usually in the bathroom).

I

I kid, I kid
: It’s a joke; seriously, chill out. You’re kind of acting like Eminem at the MTV VMA’s in 2002.

J

J. Crew U
: “The Miz,” Walter “Wally”
Szczerbiak
, and according to eye witnesses “Not so big” Ben all walked the campus of Miami University (of Ohio).

Jeep Wave
: It’s a Jeep thing. You wouldn’t understand.

K

K
: Abbreviation for kindergarten and also the only grade I ever repeated (well I also was a fifth year senior at Witt but graduating college in four years is like leaving the party at ten).

KY
: Kentucky Y’all!

L

M

Man Card
: I could tell you, but then again men don’t gossip.

MD 20/20
:
An American fortified wine, often called by its nickname,
 
Mad Dog
. MD 20/20 has an alcohol content that varies by flavor from 13 percent to 18 percent. Most of the 18 percent varieties are discontinued, although Red Grape is reportedly available in 18 percent ABV. The
 
MD
 
actually stands for its producer,
 
Mogen David. Originally,
 
20/20
 
stood for 20 ounce @ 20 percent alcohol. Currently,
 
MD 20/20
 
is not sold in 20 ounce bottles or at 20 percent alcohol by volume. (Definitely ganked this off Wikipedia.).

Meow
: I bet you I can say meow ten times in this book (meow, meow, meow; told ya). You probably won’t get this or think it’s funny unless you’ve seen
Super Troopers
.

Mojo
:
“Mojo: The libido. The life force. The essence. The right stuff. What the French call a certain... I don't know what.”
 
–Dr. Evil

Monkey
: The baby of the family and my youngest brother (four years younger).

My Blunder
: It’s easier to watch
Observe and Protect
than for me to try and explain this and unintentionally that movie also has a bipolar character, funny how things sometimes work out.

N

NBD
: No Big Deals

NKOTB
: New Kids On The Block (Donnie in
Sixth Sense
still gives me the creeps).

O

P

Peeps
: These are my people.

Poncho
: The middle child of the family and my younger brother (two years younger).

Q

Que-evs
: It means whatever but said with a lot more of an attitude.

R

Radical
: Interchangeable with Totally Boss.

(Radio Edit)
: My attempts to not get sued for slander, or libel, or whatever.

Re-dunk-u-luss
: I’m not even really sure what I meant by that.

S

Sis:
My Southern belle sister who really isn’t in my family but when we were Drunky Brewsters in the A-Town bars we told everyone we were. “I mean look, we have brown hair
and
eyes, don’t you see the family resemblance?!”

Slamming Hot Body Trainer
: No idea her name but she was the real reason I went to the gym.

South Chuck
: My hometown of South Charleston, Ohio.

Southside!
: The psych ward unit in University Hospital, Cincinnati.

Stubby
: My dad.

T

T.A.N.
: Tough As Nails

TBC . . .
: To Be Continued . . .

The Nasty
: The Queen City, The Nati,
Porkopolis
, or Cincinnati, Ohio.

The Sticks
: Way out in the middle of nowhere. I’m talking
Deliverance
spooky folks.

Three Sheets
: I’m like 50 percent sure this show is now called
Drinking Made Easy
and would be 100 percent positive either way if I just googled it.

Tommy Toughnuts
: Similar to truck nuts but not quite as cool. Actually it just means you think you’re a badass but I really wanted to reference truck nuts in the book (weird I know).

Totally Boss
: Interchangeable with Radical.