Society Girls: Sierra (18 page)

“I’m hoping you’re thinking about me with
that smile on your face,” the man in question says, walking up to
his apartment door, which I just happen to be leaning against.

“I was thinking about all of the women out
there searching for your kitten.”

“Maybe I should tell them that I got her
back. Have I?” he asks as he leads me inside.

“The jury’s still out on that one,” I tell
him.

“I’m prepared to make a very passionate
closing argument if necessary.”

“Passion’s always a good thing.”

“Is that what you’re here
for?
Passion
?”

“I don’t know what I’m here for,” I tell him
honestly. “I saw you on T.V. and I wanted to get away from my
brother, so here I am.”

“Zack’s giving you shit?”

“Yeah.” I bite my lip, then ask for what I
need. “Can you hold me for a minute?”

He moves to me, but instead of just hugging
me, he picks me up. Once he’s walked the few steps to the couch, he
sits down with me on his lap. I cuddle into him, nuzzling his neck
as he rubs my back and kisses my hair. When my hands move into his
hair, he turns his head and I kiss him.

It’s not a kiss of want,
it’s one of
need
.
Not sexual need, but need for love and understanding. Zack loves
me, but he doesn’t understand. Reina understands, but she doesn’t
love me. I need both, and Joel is the only one who can give them to
me. That’s why I’m here, I suddenly realize. Despite everything’s
that’s happened, I know Joel loves me.

“Where did you go, Kitten?”

“I was thinking about how I came here
because you love me.”

“I do,” he tells me, giving me little kisses
as he speaks. “So very much.”

“Do you understand why I couldn’t tell you?
Why I walked away? Why I’m here?”

“Yes, I understand. You couldn’t tell me
because other people were involved and you can only give your own
secrets. You walked away because I was an ass. I know you wouldn’t
cheat on me, but I let my pride convince me otherwise. I’m hoping
you’re here because you know I’ll always be ready with a hug when
you need one.”

“What if that’s all I can do right now? Hug
and kiss you, I mean.”

“My dick may fall off, but I’d die a happy
man if I could just hug and kiss you for the rest of my life. Eu te
amo.”

“I can’t have your dick falling off, since I
plan to put it to good use soon.”

“He’ll be fine,” he tells me, raining
kissing down my neck.

God how I love having his beard rubbing
against me. I reach down and stroke him over the basketball shorts
he’s wearing. He bites my shoulder in response. I pull back,
forcing him to look at me as I still my hand.

“I can’t promise you more than right
now.”

“I want forever, but we can start with right
now.”

His words are like a blast of cold air. I
can’t do this. I can’t make him think there’s a chance when I don’t
know if there is. I came here because I needed him, but now I have
to leave. I love him too much to use him, because despite what he
says, he won’t be okay with just a casual hook-up. We’re way past
that, and it’s not fair to him, or even to me, since I don’t have
my head on straight right now.

I push up to my feet and back up. “I can’t
do this to you.”

“Yeah, you can.”

“No. You love me enough to let me use you
because I’m hurting, but I love you enough to not do that to you.
You deserve more than that. I can’t give it to you right now, but
you deserve it.”

“I’ll take whatever you can give me, Si. I
just want you.”

“If it’s any consolation, I’ll never be
anyone else’s. Even if we’re not together, I’ll only be yours.
Always.”

“I’m not giving up. I’ll give you the time
you need, but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to see me on T.V.
talking about my lost Kitten again. Or talking about the most
perfect set of breasts I’ve ever had my hands on.”

“Don’t you dare talk about my boob on T.V.,”
I say, reaching down to smack him on the arm.

“But they are. Perfect, I mean. No matter
what I may have made you think.”

“Did you not hear me tell your ‘friend’ that
my guy said that?”

“Yes, but I also heard you throw it in my
face in Sao Paolo. Which I know I deserved, by the way.”

“You did. I mean it, though, no boob talk.”
I rub my hand over where I smacked him because I shouldn’t have
done that. And okay, because he has amazing biceps that just beg to
be touched. “I like the Kitten stuff, by the way.”

“Yeah?” he asks, grabbing my hand and
bringing it to his lips.

“Yeah. It’s sweet and kind of sexy to have
you talking to me, even though no one else knows.”

“Well, my friend Glen knows. He’s the
catcher.”

“Recruiting some help, huh?”

“I’ll take all I can get when it comes to
you.”

“Even after I hurt you? Even though you know
the truth now, the stuff with Marcus hurt you. Just like you not
trusting me, and then throwing that other woman in my face hurt
me.”

“I didn’t go home with that girl. I want to
get that out there first. If you were watching today, you saw that
I ignored every single woman waiting outside of the stadium.”

“I didn’t watch. I trust
you. I’m not worried about you cheating on me, but I
am
worried about you so
easily throwing something like that in my face. Zack and Ainsley
did that to each other, and while they worked it out, I wasn’t sure
they would. I don’t want us to go back and forth, hurting each
other like that. I saw what it did to two people I love and I don’t
want to experience it with the man I’m
in
love
with.”

“I get that. I do. But I’m not Zack, and
you’re not Ainsley. We hurt each other a couple times, Gatinha. I,
for one, don’t plan on continuing that cycle. I will honestly do
everything in my power to make sure I never hurt you again.”

“I want to believe you, and I’m not going to
fight your wooing. I need to focus on the Society right now, but
you’re not being ignored. Even if I don’t text you back right away.
I’m just trying to deal with everything, and thinking about it all
at once is too overwhelming.”

“I can text you? Can I call you, too?”

“That’s all you took from that?”

“No, but right now that’s the most important
to me.”

“Yes, you can text me. Let’s wait a few days
for the calling. Hearing your voice might make me run right back
here before I should. Especially if you speak to me in
Portuguese.”

“Prepare to be wooed
and
wowed.
”

“I’ve already been wowed by you, so just
focus on the woo.”

“Can I kiss you once more before you
go?”

“I should say no, but I might die if you
don’t.”

He smiles before taking my face in his hands
and giving me the sweetest kiss I’ve ever gotten. It’s not
passionate in and of itself, but it’s still full of passion. He
sucks my lower lip between his teeth, and sighs before letting me
go. I open my eyes and try not to cry when I see the love in his
eyes.

“Boa viagem, meu amor,” he tells me. He’s
wishing me a safe trip, but yeah, my ovaries just exploded.

Joel

Letting Sierra walk out the door again is
the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but I know I had to do
it. She’s scared of us, and trying to force things would only push
her further away. I’m going to pull out all the stops Glen and I
can come up with to win her back. Now that I know that the “Kitten”
thing is the way to go, I’m going to go all the way with it.

The knock on the door surprises me, and I
wonder if maybe she’s decided to come back. I throw open the door
with a smile on my face and end up doubled over from the punch to
my gut.

“You fucking bastard. My sister’s no ball
bunny.”

“You think I don’t know that,” I gasp out as
Zack stands over me, glaring.

“Then why would you bring her here and then
send her away a half hour later, crying.”

“That’s between her and me.”

“Do you want to die today?
Because I
will
kill you. I know how to hide a body, or at least my wife does.
She’ll help me, you know. I’m too pretty for prison.”

“You’re an asshole, is what you are.”

“So are you.”

“Are you going to hit me again, or can we
sit down and talk this out?”

“You have beer?”

“Yeah.”

“We can talk. I can’t promise not to hit you
again, though.”

“Take a seat, slugger.”

I force myself to straighten up and walk
into the kitchen. I grab a beer for him and a water for me. After
tossing him the beer, I sit down opposite him on the couch.

“I love your sister. Your sister loves me.
We hurt each other, and now she’s afraid it will become a cycle for
us like it was for you and Ainsley. She doesn’t want that, so she’s
walking away for now. I’m going to keep fighting for her. What else
do you need to know?”

“Shit. I knew she was pissed at me when I
kept messing things up with Ains, but I didn’t realize we freaked
her out so much. She was usually on my wife’s side.”

“How many times do you guys do stuff to each
other?”

He shakes his head. “More
times than I can count. In our defense, neither of us had ever been
in a serious relationship before. Falling in love brought out every
insecurity we both had. We acted like teenagers, because as far as
dating was concerned, we pretty much
were
like teens. Ever since we
realized we should stop fighting each other and just be in love,
it’s been amazing.”

“Was it worth it?”

“Hell, yeah. I love her more than anything.
If I had to do it again, would I try not to do stupid shit to make
her jealous? Of course I would. But while I won’t say what we went
through made us stronger, it made us realize how important it is to
trust the person you love, and to not react without stopping to
think about what you’re doing.”

“I’ve already realized that. I just have to
prove it to her, and I will.”

“I don’t think I need to punch you again.
You’re almost good enough for her.”

“Almost?”

“She’s my baby sister, man.
No one’s ever going to be
really
good enough for her. You’ll do,
though.”

“Um, thanks. I think.”

“You’re welcome. Now, tell me about these
plans of yours.”

* * *

Sierra

Sleeping in the same city as Joel and not
being with him was hard. I woke up grouchy and I still feel that
way as I wait for the jet I borrowed from Miles to takeoff. The
flight attendant said we were waiting for a last minute delivery. I
guess Miles needed something, although he didn’t mention it when I
asked. I told him I needed to see Joel, and he told me the jet
would be ready when I got to the airport.

“Here we go,” she tells me, looking out the
window.

“It’s here?”

“I am,” Zack says, walking into the seating
area.

You have got to be fucking kidding me. “What
are you doing here?”

“I think that’s my cue to leave. Call if you
need anything, Ms. Taylor. You too, Mr. Taylor.”

“Thanks,” I tell her, giving her a smile
which will hopefully convince her that both Zack and I will leave
the plane alive. I’m not so sure about his chances at the moment,
but I don’t want to scare her.

Zack waits for her to leave before sitting
down across from me. “Nice to see you too, sis.”

“Don’t you dare put this on me. We had a
huge fight about Joel yesterday, and all of a sudden you’re now
here in Arizona. Don’t even try to tell me that’s a
coincidence.”

“It’s not.”

“I am not a baby, or even a
little girl who needs your constant supervision. I’m also not going
to kill myself. I know you’re worried about that, and it’s a
serious fear with what I’ve gone through, but I’m focusing on the
future. I
want
a
future. I promise you that.”

“I have a hard time thinking about you being
grown up. I know it and I own it. That doesn’t mean I can just stop
cold turkey. I’ll always want to interfere, but I’ll try to tone it
down.”

“That’s very mature of you, Zachary.”

“I am mature now. I mean, I only punched
Joel once yesterday.”

“You didn’t. Please, please, tell me you’re
joking.”

“Sorry, no really, not sorry. He deserved
it, and he took it like a man. Once he could speak.”

“You broke his jaw?”

“No. If I broke his jaw, he wouldn’t be
talking already. Don’t you study anatomy in the Society?”

“Oh, yeah. Duh. And
yes,
they
study
it. I wasn’t that far yet.”

“You’ll do it when you go back.”

“We both know the chances of me going back
are slim.”

“I don’t know that. Kicking you out would be
stupid, and Reina is definitely not stupid.”

“I don’t want to talk about that right now.
Where did you hit Joel?”

“I punched him in the stomach.”

“You hit his abs? What is wrong with you?
Have you seen those abs, they’re a thing of beauty? And
sexiness.”

“No. I didn’t look at his abs. And don’t say
‘sexiness’ in front of me. Also, I have an awesome set of abs.
See.”

He starts to lift his
shirt, but I hold up my hands and squeeze my eyes shut. “No. Stop.
This is not
Flowers in the
Attic
. I do not want to see your abs.
That’s just gross. Why would you even say that, or try to show me?
Eww. Keep your damn shirt on.”