So Much to Learn (16 page)

To explain the
fact that I was hobbling and that Jack had needed to put an ankle
support on me as soon as I emerged from my room, I told Matt I had
rolled my ankle and then landed on it awkwardly as I fell. It
wasn't technically a lie, but I'm one of those people who count
lying by omission as just plain lying so that didn't really help
with my guilt.

Still, my
darling, oblivious brother didn't seem at all suspicious and, in
fact, was surprisingly sweet all day, keeping up a steady stream of
refreshments and the odd painkiller when I needed it and making
sure I stayed off my ankle as much as possible.

By the end of
the day the pain had dulled to the point where I could apply a
little pressure on my right leg and I knew that after anther
night's rest it would be almost as good as new. Jack's quick
actions, applying ice and elevating my leg had kept the swelling to
an absolute minimum.

To thank my two
caring companions I made tea that night, lasagne and salad nothing
too fancy, but it was one of their favourite meals. We were just
mopping up the remains of the lasagne with some garlic bread when
the phone rang. Matt answered and I could tell by his immediate eye
roll that it was our mother. Jack and I cleared the dishes while
Matt huffed and sighed his way through a conversation with her,
always a very one sided affair. Then Matt tossed me the phone and I
settled down on the couch to listen to the mother monologue. She
prattled on for about fifteen minutes then suddenly said, "So, are
you coming up next weekend?"

Beware mother's guerrilla attacks at all times. The second you
relax is the second she strikes.
Do
not
let her lull you into a false sense of
security!

"Oh…uh…" I
said, flustered. "I'll ask the guys."

There was a
long pause, which did not bode well.

"Did I raise a
daughter who needs to check with men before making a decision?" She
asked in a dangerous voice and I smacked my head back against the
couch armrest as I realised my tactical error.

"No," I
groaned.

"So do I suppose then that you don't
want
to come and see your parents by
yourself? That you are, in fact, scared to come home without a boy
buffer?"

"No," I said
again, half frustrated, half amused at her fake hurt voice.

"Well then," my
mum said, all brisk business now, "we'll see you on Friday
then."

I stared at the
phone in annoyance, but also, I must admit, with a little bit of
admiration. How had she managed to do that? One minute I was
happily planning another weekend in our flat, hopefully spending
more time with Jack and the next I'm committed to the eight hour
return trip home. She's evil, pure evil!

"Fine, nice to
talk to you too, Mum," I said sarcastically, "Pass the phone to
Dad."

Once I heard my
dad take the phone I whined, "Daddy, she trapped me!"

I heard his
deep laugh and, as always, felt compelled to join in. "You've got
to constantly watch yourself and not give her anything to work
with, you know that," he lectured me. There was a pause and then he
added, "Once you work out how to do that be sure to let me know,
yeah?"

We talked for a
while until Mum wrestled their phone away from him and I chucked
ours over to Jack.

Matt came over
and flopped down beside me looking extremely glum. "I had plans for
this weekend," he sighed. "Good plans."

"But she got
you too," I commiserated and he nodded.

"Not just me
though. Apparently she ran into Tommo's mum and they had a
conversation about how they so rarely get to see us now we're at
uni."

"Uh oh," I said
and Matt smiled sadly.

"Yep, that's
right, now I have to tell Tommo that he's expected to report to the
mothership this weekend as well."

"Misery loves
company," I laughed. "I guess we'll make a road trip out of
it."

Matt's
shoulders slumped. "So goodbye hook up with a random hot chick,
hello long tedious weekend in the mother zone."

Jack hung up
the phone and threw himself onto an armchair rolling his eyes at
Matt’s and my despondent attitude.

"Ah, dry your
eyes princesses," he said. "Your mum's not that bad."

Matt exchanged
an exasperated look with me and then we both turned incredulous
eyes to Jack.

"What?" He
asked.

"You just don't
get it. Mum thinks the sun shines out of your arse. You can do no
wrong," Matt said patiently as if he was explaining it to a child
who was a bit slow on the uptake.

"You're so full
of it," Jack scoffed, but I could tell he was kind of pleased. He
knew he was the most precious thing in Mum's eyes, but I think he
always liked to hear it said.

Matt sighed
loudly then got up. "Right, now we've got that sorted out I'm off
to the pub, you guys coming?"

"Nah." Jack
shook his head. "Talia and I are only hours away from finishing all
the stuff from first year."

"I hope this
scholarship thing is worth it because you've become a boring
bastard," Matt joked.

"Oh yeah?" Jack
kicked out a leg as Matt came past and my brother fell straight
over the outstretched limb. He promptly yanked on the leg he had
tripped over pulling Jack down onto the floor with him. The next
moment the two of them were rolling about on the carpet laughing as
they grappled with each other.

I heaved a huge
exaggerated sigh and shook my head. "It's been said before and
it'll be said again- boys!"

I got to my
feet and went to step over them, but I should have known better. I
barely heard Matt ask, "Where do you think you're going?" Before he
grabbed my legs and pulled me down on top of him and Jack. I
shrieked as I fell and then some more as Matt began tickling
me.

"Jack! Save
me!" I yelled through my laughter, whilst trying to protect my
ticklish spots and my sore ankle.

"I don't know,"
he said slowly. "Maybe I'll let you suffer."

"No!" I
screamed, tears of laughter welling up in my eyes. "Please help
me!"

"Well, since
you asked so nicely." Jack reached round me and started attacking
Matt in my defence. The three of us were laughing so hard that we
didn't hear the door open.

"Don't mind us,
we'll just wait until you're done."

At the sound of
Sam's voice the three of us looked up from our tangled position on
the floor.

"Uh, hi," Matt
said. "Just wait a minute while my lump of a sister and best mate
get off me and then I'll be ready to go."

"A sentence you
don't hear too often," Tommo remarked offering me a hand to help me
to my feet.

Not too long
ago holding Tommo's hand would have sent me either into a girly
tizz or a panic attack, but now I simply smiled easily and thanked
him without giving it another thought.

Once Matt had
grabbed his wallet and jacket all the boys, bar Jack, trooped out
of the flat and I grabbed the massive first year text. I settled
myself down on an armchair and spread the book open across my knees
before bending my head down to it.

~*~

Three hours
later I slammed the heavy tome shut and wilted back against the
back of the chair.

"I'm spent," I
groaned. "Can we take a break before starting in on second year?"
My eyes, tired from reading the small print, closed in exhaustion.
"I don't think I can take anymore tonight."

"I'm in total
agreement," Jack sighed stretching himself out on the couch.

We relaxed in
silence for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of getting through
the first year curriculum with Jack making hardly any mistakes.
Then he sat up and patted the cushion next to him inviting me to go
over and sit with him on the couch. Without hesitation, I hauled
myself off my chair and plonked myself down beside him.

"Time to blur
out," Jack announced clicking the TV on. A random movie was
starting and, because I was so weary, I found myself becoming
totally engrossed in it despite its somewhat lacklustre plot.
During the course of the film I edged closer to Jack until, by the
time the credits were rolling, I was leaning back against him, my
head resting against his arm which was draped along the back of the
couch.

While we
watched the words appear on the screen, caught up in the lull which
happens at the end of every film, Jack began absentmindedly
stroking my hair and I smiled at the feeling.

"Hey, do you
mind if I ask you a question?" He said drowsily, clicking off the
T.V. with his free hand.

"Skipping over
the fact that you already have, I'll say yes" I replied
cheekily.

I felt his
chest expand beside me as he took a deep breath and his hand paused
its stroking movement. "Why do you think you get so nervous about
being touched?"

I froze and my
heart started to beat a little faster. "Oh….um," I stuttered,
unable to formulate a better response due to the suddenness of the
question. Jack wasn't usually one to cut straight to the point, it
left me reeling in confusion.

"You don't have
to answer if you don't want to," Jack said quickly, obviously
realising how much his question had thrown me.

"No, it’s OK,"
I said, scooting away from him and wedging myself into the far
corner between the back of the couch and the armrest. "Just give me
a minute."

He nodded and
waited patiently as I gathered together the thoughts that I’d had
over the years as to the impetus of my phobia.

"I think it was
sort of a gradual thing," I began hesitantly. "It’s not like one
day I woke up and thought 'if one more guy touches me I'm going to
freak!' To start off with I guess I wasn't interested in boys at
all until well after my fourteenth birthday. All the other girls
were going nuts over this boy or another and I would go home to you
and Matt burping and fighting and generally being idiotic and would
think 'they want that?'"

Jack smiled at
the last bit, but didn't say anything, which encouraged me to keep
going.

"I didn't ever feel I needed one either, a boyfriend that is.
Then suddenly everybody started asking why I didn't have a
boyfriend, like, what was wrong with me? Thinking back on it, it
was so stupid. I mean hardly anyone in high school
actually
had a boyfriend
so why did people get on my case about it?" I was flooded with
residual frustration from the past. "It was so stupid!" Realising
that I sounded like I was whining exactly like the grade 9 kid I'd
been, I adjusted my tone.

"So then there
was this guy in grade 10, Rhys, who everybody said liked me and so
I let myself get bulldozed by my supposed friends into going out
with him. Of course then it turned out that he was only going out
with me so he could meet you and Matt and…"

"Get on the
football team," Jack finished for me and I nodded the truth of
it.

"Yep, his
agenda became pretty clear after a while, date me, meet you, get on
the team, sleep with me, dump me. Nice, huh?" Despite my flippant
tone the memory still hurt.

"Good
footballer, though," Jack said thoughtfully and, choking with
indignation, I smacked his shoulder. "Joking," he said quickly,
holding up his hands in surrender. "Hell, despite how good he was
Matt and I kicked him off the team as soon as we found out what he
was up to, didn't we?"

"And I should
think so too!" I crossed my arms defensively. "Still, it was me who
dated him for most of grade 9, can you believe it?"

It had been a
rhetorical question, but Jack answered it before I had time to
continue."No. Couldn't believe it then, still doesn't make sense
now. He was a total dickhead."

"Well, I don't
remember you saying that back then," I accused him, taken aback by
his vehemence on the subject.

He shrugged.
"Of course I didn't say anything. You were going through a stage
where you would do exactly the opposite of whatever Matt or I
advised you to do just to show that you could. We thought if we
said anything bad about him you'd stay with him longer just to
spite us so we decided to just wait for you to get over it."

I gaped at him.
How condescending! I felt a little burble of anger in my stomach at
the idea of Matt and Jack discussing my pathetic little teenage
rebellion and deciding I would grow out of it. OK, it was true that
at about that age I was keen on showing how independent I was and,
determined to get out from under Matt's wing, had begun
deliberately doing the opposite of what he suggested, but, still…!
I thought hard before phrasing my reply.

"Although
that's almost too patronising for words I accept that you were
probably right in not saying anything."

"How diplomatic
of you," Jack grinned and I stuck my tongue out at him before
realising that that action pretty much undid the maturity of my
previous sentence.

"I remember
explaining what had happened between Rhys and me to Mum and, after
she gave me a hug, she held me at arm’s length and said, 'Well,
really, darling, what did you expect from somebody with no vowels
in their name?’"

Jack burst out
laughing.

"One of her
finest moments that." I joined in his laughter. "Anyway, then it
was grade 10 and people started on at me to forget Rhys and,
basically, try again which is where Stuart came in." I smiled
fondly at the memory. "Ah, good old Stuart. He was the best
boyfriend I've ever had."

"He was gay,"
Jack pointed out.

"I know, I
helped him come out, remember? Pretty magnanimous of me considering
that meant losing my shield against my friends trying to set me
up," I joked, but Jack was back to looking at me seriously.

"He was your
favourite?" He prompted and I nodded.