Snow Angel (30 page)

Melinda’s legs straddled him, smooth, warm muscles gripping him through her thin pajama bottoms, and their bodies pressed together. Chest to belly to lap to thighs. Her buttocks rested on top of his legs, firm and erotic and mind-blowing, and their heartbeats slammed against each other’s.

Oh, God.

Their mouths held, only a breath apart.

Then she winced slightly, and he went motionless immediately, holding her still.

He said, “Wait—” but she shook her head no, said, “Don’t stop,” in a low, throaty voice as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her cheek against his, her breasts crushing like heaven against his chest.

“Mel—” he said, her name a groan as his own arms came more fully around her body, pressing her even closer.

He was hard as a rock, his body beyond listening or caring that this moment wasn’t going to go that far.

Not yet.

“Melinda—”

“Jake,” she whispered into his ear. “Shut up and kiss me again. Please.”

Nothing could have held him back.

Mindful of her bruises, he kept the pressure soft, attentive to her every sound, every flicker of emotion or mood as he nibbled her scrumptious mouth and the smooth, sweet line of her jaw.

She hummed in her throat, a sound of pleasure, and he thought the top of his head might blow off. She nipped his earlobe playfully, making him jump, and sent his senses scrambling.

Jacob stroked his hands gently over her slender back, along the curves of her waist and hips, soaking up the heat pumping off her body through the thinness of the fabric separating his hands from her bare skin.

Scant millimeters, but he wanted the barrier gone.

Wanted bare skin.

Wanted her.

His body begged him to hurry, to throw caution aside and dive deep, but he recognized the importance of timing. Of savoring. And—God help him—of waiting.

They explored each other’s lips, nuzzling, testing, tasting, everything sweet and slow and mellow, all wrapped together with a silken ribbon of surprise and discovery. His body wept with need.

But inside, his heart soared.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Melinda’s mind had tumbled like an out of control thrill ride when Jacob first pressed his lips to hers.

Soft as it was, and as many kisses as they’d shared as friends over their lifetime together—on the head, the forehead, the cheek, even friendly pecks on the lips often enough—this kiss had instantly registered on an exciting, unfamiliar level, new and different and wonderful.

A first kiss.

A real kiss, not simply a peck between friends.

Now her head swam, intoxicated by the feel of his muscles bunching beneath her seeking fingers, his hard, strong body melded to hers, an inferno of heat fusing them together as he stroked her back.

This was a mistake. A wonderful, incredible, amazing mistake. They hadn’t talked yet. Their friendship hung in the balance… She couldn’t stop.

She could hardly believe she was in Jacob’s lap, with his hardness, the raw evidence of his desire, pressing firmly against her.

Unmistakable.

Unbearably arousing.

She could hardly believe she was kissing him, their arms around each other like they’d never let go. It was so very
right
, so exactly where she wanted to be, wanted to
stay
, she felt a fool for not realizing her love for him years sooner.

The dream she’d had the night before they left for Utah flitted through her mind. It almost seemed prophetic somehow. Had she known, even then, what this could be like?

No. She might have wondered, guessed, dreamed, but nothing compared to the reality.

Her best friend Jacob had suddenly become so much more.

He was everything.

The thrill of it screamed through her system, both exciting and terrifying, and everything in between, but in this moment, all she knew was she never wanted him to stop kissing her. Never wanted him to stop touching her.

Not ever.

When the tip of his tongue met hers, the thrill shot even higher. She didn’t care that her mouth hurt, or her cheeks, or any of a hundred other places. She only wanted to kiss Jacob and keep on kissing him. The glide of his tongue gently stroking hers, of his hands caressing her body, softly, slowly, made her bones sigh with pleasure, made her muscles go all melty and weak.

She sagged against him, unable to hold herself upright against the sensations swamping her body.

All that, from only a kiss.

A long time later, they finally surfaced, both breathing heavily. When they pulled back to look at each other, Melinda found herself suddenly shy of meeting his gaze. Part giggly, part terrified. Her whole body seemed to vibrate, full of tingles and needs, desires she couldn’t yet voice.

All for Jacob.

Everything had changed since yesterday, and again in the time since they’d come downstairs. Changed and intensified. He must feel more than friendship for her, too, or he would never have kissed her that way.

Her mind begged for caution.
Don’t jump in, don’t jump in
, echoed in her ears.

And yet…

Jacob tipped a finger beneath her chin to lift her gaze to his, his eyes searching. Could he read her every emotion, did he know the fears pounding in her heart, her veins? As well as they knew each other, this was fresh territory for them both.

Unexplored.

Potentially dangerous.

The gigglyness faded away, leaving the half-terrified part of her cowering alone, with no euphoric buffer against reality.

What were they doing?

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

The longer they sat staring at each other, the more reality started to creep back in at the edges of Melinda’s awareness.

All the reasons she’d resisted loving him this way to begin with. All the dreams they each held, dreams hung from goal posts on opposite ends of a long, long field. All the changes a relationship between them would bring to their lives, and to the lives of their friends and families.

The multi-dimensional disaster if it didn’t work out.

But she wanted.

Oh, she wanted.

And the look in his topaz eyes said he wanted, too, and what was life without a little risk...

Jacob exhaled as though he’d been holding his breath.

He said, “Melinda.”

She said, “I know.”

He said, “ But…”

And she whispered, “Yeah…”

His finger still held beneath her chin, but now he slid his whole hand along her cheek again, cupping her face. The look in his eyes melted her heart.

He said, “Wow—”

And she said, “Jake,” and kissed him again, for all she was worth.

It was magical, the way the nerves smoothed out again.

They’d have to talk about their relationship—what this all meant, what they were going to do. How they each felt.

Yet the moment their lips touched, the rightness of it descended once more, blocking out everything except his mouth on hers, his body strong and hot beneath her hands, and all those worries flitted away into trivialities.

Details would get handled. For now...

Mmmmmm
.

Melinda hummed against his mouth, a deep purr of pure pleasure. If only they could stay this way, locked together forever, it would be perfect.

No sooner did she have that thought than Jacob’s stomach rumbled, and hers answered, loud and insistent.

Instead of ruining the moment, it made everything normal, comfortable and real and friendly, and they broke apart laughing.

Jacob squeezed her tightly, one hard hug, before settling her gently back onto her own chair.

“I guess we better eat,” he said.

Their eyes met, and they grinned. A bit nervously, true, but still.

He kissed her forehead, like always, then hopped up and moved around the kitchen counter to the pile of ingredients he’d left there. He grabbed a bowl from a low cupboard and mixed and stirred, tossing her cute, dimpled little grins every time their eyes met, then he got the pancakes cooking on a small griddle.

They didn’t say much, and she was glad. She wanted to savor the memory of that amazing kiss, not ruin it with a lot of thinking and rationalizing and discussing.

That would come later.

She’d always enjoyed watching him cook, so she focused on his motions for now and set the rest aside. He was a surprisingly good cook, as his mother had insisted on him learning to feed himself from a young age.

Jacob poured milk for each of them when the pancakes were ready, then joined her at the table with plates piled high. They held hands while they ate, playing with each other’s fingers and giggling a bit whenever they caught each other’s gaze.

When they were finished, they washed and dried the dishes side by side.

Hand in hand, they flopped on the couch in the family room, Melinda snugged between Jacob’s legs and stretched across his chest. They turned the TV on low and found a channel showing reruns of the Rose Parade from earlier that morning, though they were too caught up in each other to pay much attention to the floats or commentary.

His busy hands and mouth kept her in a constant state of need, her pulse thrumming heavily, and her mind blessedly quiet except for his name.

Jacob-Jacob-Jacob…

The novelty of his fingers stroking across her highly sensitized skin left her breathless. His lips and teeth nibbling the sides of her neck, or the tender spots below her ears, then down along her collar bones, his hands creeping ever closer to areas crying out for his touch sent her heart racing with joy and fear, desire rampaging wildly in her belly.

Panting for air, they finally broke the kiss.

Melinda sank onto his chest, nuzzling beneath his chin, reveling in the drumming beat of his heart beneath her cheek and the hard, heavy bulge pressing against her lower abdomen. She wasn’t the only one breathing like a winded racehorse.

Or the only one so turned on she was about to combust.

Good, she thought with a private snicker. It was only fair.

Jacob bowed up in a long stretch, lifting her along with his body, then settled back again with his arms wrapped around her, his fingers running through the strands of her hair curling loose to her waist.

With a sigh, he placed his cheek on the top of her head and rested there, rubbing his face slowly over her hair.

“I want to be with you, Mel,” he said, his voice low and a little trembly. With nerves? That made two of them. “I want us to be together.”

Melinda froze, though her heart did a weird sort of vault, like shooting straight to the top of a mile-high rollercoaster, freefalling into a series of wild loop-de-loops all the way down to the ground, then shooting straight up again. Then repeating the entire maneuver a thousand times between one second and the next.

It made her dizzy and scared and exhilarated all at once. Could he possibly mean what she hoped he did?

She waited what felt like an eternity, struggling for calm. With one fingertip, she drew inconsequential designs across the right side of his chest while she kept her cheek pressed to the left, her eyes tracking the motion.

When he didn’t say anything else, she finally shifted to prop herself up on his chest and looked into his eyes.

Eyes, she saw now, dancing with nerves and emotions, brightening the gold flakes in their depths to wavering flames. She realized he’d been practically holding his breath since he’d spoken. Waiting for her to answer.

Lowering her gaze to his mouth, she ran her fingers lightly over his lips. He had such a sensual mouth. How often had she noticed how very kissable he was over the years? How often had she wanted to find out for herself exactly how his lips tasted? But that was part of the problem, wasn’t it?

No one was supposed to think about their friends that way.

“What does that mean?” she asked softly, the only words she could get past her suddenly dry throat.
Don’t jump in, don’t jump in
… She kept her eyes on his mouth.

Jacob huffed out a breath.

“It means everything,” he said, his lips moving against her stroking fingers, and she could hear the light frown in his voice, even without looking. “It means I want this. Us.”

“Sex?” she asked, even as she cringed at the harsh sound of the single syllable in the quiet room. But she had to know.

“No, not
sex
,” he said, putting a strange emphasis on the word.

Shifting beneath her to a more upright position, Jacob hauled her up with him, then raised her chin so she had no choice but to meet his gaze. The look on his face was more serious than she’d ever seen him.

A tangled knot of emotion lodged itself in her throat.

With his free hand, he brushed her hair back, tucking a strand behind her ear.

“I don’t want to date you just for fun. This isn’t a whim, even if it seems fast, and I know it does, but I feel…” He paused, swallowed hard. “I feel… for you. I have feelings for you. Can you kiss me the way you did and say it’s just friendship or just sex, or do you feel something more, too?”

“Jake—”

“Because it’s not just friendship, and it’s not just sex. Yes, I want to make love with you,” he said, and sent her heart on another fast loop around the rollercoaster. “But that’s not all. I just want to be with you. Be together.” He stared deeply into her eyes. Breathed. “I’m in love with you, Mel. I love you.”

Her whole body clutched, and tears sprang to her eyes unbidden.

“You-you do?”

His gaze locked on hers, he nodded. She blew out a breath, shock, joy, fear, hope rocketing around her heart.

Oh, God.

She didn’t know what to say, what to do. What to feel. This was what she’d wanted in her secret heart, what she’d been afraid to hope for, what she’d given up on so many times over the years.

It was what she wanted now, more than anything, but…

Don’t jump in!

“Oh, Jacob,” she said, her voice barely a whisper, everything in her aching.

She wanted to say it too, to shout it from the highest mountain peak outside their window, only the words got lost on the way to her lips, tripped up by worry.

Instead of
I love you, too
, she said, “Are you sure?”

He went still as stone for the space of three heartbeats.

“I am,” he said, his voice sounding a little hoarse now. “I’m sure.”

“But…” Melinda struggled to find the right words, knowing she was already screwing it up, watching the light fade from his eyes. “How?” she whispered. “When?”

The ache inside increased every second.

“It’s been coming on for a while,” he said slowly. A flush had risen into his tanned cheeks, tipped his ears with red. “Then… It just—” He tapped a fist over his heart. “Hit.”

The wrecked expression on his face said it had hit him like a Mack truck.

She knew the feeling.

“Jake, I—”

“It’s okay, Mel,” he said, scooting up straighter. “You don’t have to say anything. I didn’t plan this, didn’t want this. I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

He moved to set her aside. She grabbed hold of him. Held on.

He said, “I don’t—”

“No, Jacob, wait, please. Wait.”

He stopped moving, collapsed back on the couch as though all the strength had drained from his muscles. She tucked herself into his chest, holding him there with her. Tears wanted to fall, but she held them back. If she fell apart, she’d never get through what she needed to say.

I love you
trembled on her lips, begging to be proclaimed, though he wouldn’t believe her now. How could she have screwed this up so fast, when he was giving her the very thing she wanted most on earth?

His love.

Now he’d shuttered himself away from her again, and she would have to wait for the right moment to come back around, a moment when he would believe her.

But first…

Sitting up, she straddled his legs so they could look into each other’s eyes, so he could see her expression. Couldn’t he read the truth in her eyes, couldn’t he see the love and the fear tearing her apart?

Her hands splayed across his chest. Seeking his strength. She needed it, needed him around her, supporting her, holding her heart.

“I-I’ve been feeling—something—too,” she started, not knowing why she was backpedaling from her own emotions, hating herself for hurting him, for hurting herself, unable to stop. “I have. But there are so many other considerations, so many obstacles—”

“Obstacles don’t matter,” Jacob interrupted, the flames rekindling in his sherry eyes. “Not if we’re together. Love conquers all, haven’t you heard? And I love you, Mel. I do.”

“I love you, too, you know I do,” she said, pleading with him to hear the words she couldn’t say. She knew by the look in his eyes that he understood she still hadn’t said
I love you
, not the way he wanted. “I always have—”

“But?”

There was so much caution in that one, flat word, in the tone of his voice. Melinda’s heart constricted.

“What we’re talking about now, this is different,” she said, panic egging her on the more his expression darkened, grasping wildly at straws. “I don’t want to risk our friendship when nothing else has changed. What about our future? We want such different things. And what if this is all just rebounding? You just broke up with Nicole, too, and—”

“Rebounding?” He looked at her, and there was temper there now. “Rebounding.”

“I—”

With no warning, Jacob surged upward, swooped in, his mouth on hers like a fever, and she could only hold on and hope for more.

He kissed her like he’d never stop, and that was fine with her. She clung to him, met his lips, his tongue stroke for stroke, and demanded more, took more, and still he gave.

More, and more, and more.

When he tore his mouth away, she could only stare back at him, dazed and off balanced.

“Did that feel like rebounding to you?”

Weak, unable to speak, Melinda shook her head. Her mind stumbled around in her skull, drunk with lust, and her body quivered with need.

Relaxing again, Jacob placed his hands gently on either side of her face. He tugged her down until her forehead rested against his. He opened his mouth to speak, but she pressed her hand to his lips once more.

“What I feel for you is different,” she murmured, her voice low and heavy. “It’s so much more than I’ve ever felt for anyone, ever, it’s more everything. Friendship is only the beginning. It’s powerful, Jacob. And scary. You toss away the idea of obstacles like they’re nothing, but if we start this, if we change everything, what will happen? Will you stay with me in Paso, give up all your plans and dreams?”