Snow Angel (29 page)

Spooning her as he’d dreamed of doing.

He tucked his long legs beneath her bent knees, her bottom seated snuggly in his lap, and breathed deeply of her scent—the shampooed freshness of her hair, her soap smell, and the sweet, spicy scent that was only Melinda.

The bed was patently too small for the two of them, but he’d never been happier or more comfortable in his life.

Except maybe the other night, when she’d slept splayed full-out on top of his body.

Melinda’s arms entwined with his, her skin velvety soft and smooth. Her low hum of contentment purred in his ears.

He shivered.

The firm, rounded undersides of her breasts resting against his forearms through her pajama top made him ache. She stroked the backs of his hands with delicate fingertips and sent electricity sizzling through his system.

“Is this okay?” she asked.

“Totally.”

She obviously had no idea what she was doing to him.

Jacob sucked air silently through his teeth—one breath, then two, then three—and tightened the reins on his body’s response to hers. Of all nights, now was not the time.

Running baseball stats in his head didn’t really help, but it was better than nothing. She needed comfort and security, and by God, he was going to provide it if it killed him. He could control himself for her sake.

He wasn’t a monster like that asshole, Dane, nor would he take advantage of her when she was so vulnerable.

No matter how much he yearned for her. Or how much he wanted to banish even the ghost of another man’s hands from her body. Especially the hands of a man who had caused her pain.

His body tensed at the unnecessary reminder of all she’d been through. It sent the need to pound the other man into microscopic particles of dust raging, a flashflood in his veins.

Deliberately, he relaxed his muscles, not wanting Melinda to notice his sudden rigidity. If things went the way he hoped, if she accepted him, there would be plenty of time—years and years ahead of them—to enjoy each other physically.

Years and years.

Jacob took another deep, hushed breath. The idea of their future together supplied the last bit of calming strength he needed to settle himself down. To be the friend and protector she needed.

The lover could wait.

“Thank you, Jakey,” Melinda murmured sleepily, and nestled against him with a contented sigh. She was sound asleep before he could find any words to reply.

Jacob lay quietly, soaking in the simple pleasure of holding her, her scent and warmth surrounding him. He bent his left arm up with his hand under his head, and Melinda shifted with him so that her head rested on the inside of his upper arm.

Eyes wide open, he stared above her head and out the window, watching the whirling snow. Enjoying Melinda’s slow, even breathing against his chest, barely heard even with no space at all between them.

His awareness of her spun through every throbbing cell and tingling fiber of his being, even the few places where their bodies didn’t actually touch. It was a deeper awareness than the merely physical. There was a purity to it, a beauty that eclipsed anything he’d ever known or suspected.

A lump formed in his throat, surprising him, the intensity of his emotions filling all the nooks and crannies in his soul, all the dark, lonely places, with light. His heart seemed to beat in time with hers. Their breaths synchronized.

If he could hold her this way for the rest of his life, he would never want to move again.

Seven days ago, he would never have dared imagine he’d find himself holding Melinda through the night, not once but twice in one week. He would never have imagined, at twenty-one, discovering such a depth of feeling, or even wanting it.

Now he couldn’t imagine going back to the way he’d been a few days before, couldn’t imagine putting the blinders back on and denying the truth of his love for her.

Melinda was it for him. Preserving their friendship was of paramount importance, yet it all seemed so simple now. So right. Still terrifying in some ways, but the rightness overshadowed all other considerations.

Filled with a comfort of his own, Jacob followed her down into slumber.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next time Jacob opened his eyes, a shadow loomed over him between the bed and the window, which resolved itself slowly into the person of Melinda’s mother.

His sleep-hazed brain and blurred eyes took another few moments to focus.

When they did, he suddenly became unnervingly, alarmingly conscious of the warm, solid weight of Karen’s only daughter—her twenty-one-year-old
unmarried
daughter—snuggled tightly against him in sleep, his arms firmly around her curvy body and the two of them tucked oh-so-cozily beneath the covers.

Oh,
shit
.

He said, “Ah.”

“Good morning,” Karen answered, keeping her voice low so as not to wake Melinda.

And she smiled at them both.

Smiled!

Jacob blinked several times, rapidly, waiting for all the blood that had dumped out of his head at the first sight of Karen to find its way back to at least a couple of his malfunctioning brain cells.

A smile.

That was not the reaction he’d expected to having a parent find the two of them in bed together. He kept silent, staring at her in confusion.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” she said. “I wanted to let you know the rest of us are clearing out so Melinda can rest. Call us if you need anything.”

Karen leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead and then to Melinda’s, sending his bemusement skyrocketing. Then she smiled again, and made her way out of the loft.

Bizarre.

Jacob’s whole body wanted to twitch in reaction, but he kept it to a light shudder so he didn’t risk disturbing Melinda. His heart hammered as though he’d been running up a long, steep hill ahead of an invading army, only to turn and find the warriors with their hands held out to him, offering a feast.

The sleeping girl in his arms shifted slightly and murmured something unintelligible. Jacob settled in, expecting to lie awake and hold her until she woke. No way could he get back to sleep with his pulse pounding so hard and fast, the worry over Karen finding them this way frothing in his brain.

Not that it would be a hardship to stay where he was, Melinda all but fused to his body, but…

Karen had
smiled
.

What did that mean? He half expected her to come back, the rest of their parents in tow, to gesture at the two of them with a fond expression on her face, as if to say, “Look, aren’t they adorable?”

That was certainly the vibe he’d gotten from her. Indulgent affection.

It was weird.

Very weird.

And jeez, if he’d known she’d be fine with it, he might have climbed into Melinda’s bed long before now, he thought, then had to swallow the nervous snicker that wanted to escape his mouth.

Instead, he leaned forward half-an-inch to take a deeper breath of Melinda’s sweet-smelling hair. Calm settled over him again, and he tightened his arms around her more securely.

His thoughts drifted toward dreaming, to a bigger bed and a cool, cushy room that belonged only to the two of them, with the pieces of their clothing tossed together in an intimate pile, and glistening sunlight dusting Melinda’s bare skin with gold as his hands glided smoothly over her velvety warmth…

Appalled, Jacob jerked his right arm back up, wrapping his hand safely around her waist again. His wandering mind had encouraged wandering fingers, their stroking drawn onward by Melinda’s satin curves. He’d been a breath away from delving between her legs to find her heat, cupping her softness, arousing her slowly until she’d turn toward him, open for him. Welcome his body with hers…

Sinking back into pleasurable daydreams, Jacob’s eyelids grew heavy, then closed.

He smiled drowsily at the images scrolling slowly through his mind, hardly conscious enough to be surprised when he slid comfortably back into sleep.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Confusion clouded Melinda’s mind when she woke. Everything seemed slightly off kilter, though she couldn’t identify exactly why.

Sunlight beamed into her eyes through a window heavily frosted with snow.

Rubbing the sleep from her lashes, she realized the loft was far quieter than it had been the night before. The wind had died. The storm must have blown itself out sometime during the early morning hours.

She hummed to herself, more comfortable than she could ever remember being. Safe and secure and warm, yet simultaneously her body sank into the thin mattress, heavy and sore, as though she’d been beaten with a baseball bat.

And it clicked.

Memories of the night past slammed into her head with painful clarity. Every muscle tensed, and anxiety crawled up her throat, stealing her breath for a moment, before the awareness of where she was and whose arms held her so securely rose above the panic.

Letting out a shaky breath, Melinda hugged Jacob’s strong arms even more tightly, closing her eyes and rubbing her cheek against the back of his hand in thanks for his presence. For not waking alone.

“Mel?” he asked, groggy with sleep. The warmth of his raspy morning voice ruffled the hair on top of her head where he’d buried his face to sleep. “Okay?”

“Yeah,” she said, taking careful breaths while her heart settled back to normal.

She was with Jacob. She was okay.

“Happy New Year,” he mumbled, nuzzling into the back of her neck.

“Happy New Year,” she said, and wondered what the next year had in store for them. She sent up a quick prayer for a safe and happy year for everyone, and hoped this new one would end better than the last one.

They stayed quiet for a while, comfortable just holding each other and breathing. Outside, the sun sparkled the frosted windows like diamonds.

“Did you sleep all right?” Jacob asked.

She
mm-hmm’d
in answer and hugged his arms again.

“Thanks to you,” she said, even as a blush shot up from the tips of her toes.

“My pleasure,” he said, and there was a note in his voice that had her ears pricking up with hope and caution mixed.

“Jake,” she said, but before she could finish, her stomach rumbled loudly in the quiet room.

Melinda started to giggle, embarrassed, but then Jacob’s belly growled even louder and sent her into gales of laughter. His answering chuckles shook against her body and made her laugh harder yet.

“I guess we’re hungry,” he said.

“I guess so,” she agreed.

Jacob squeezed his arms around her, then lightly slapped his hand on the curve of her hip. “Come on, then,” he said. “I’ll make breakfast.”

“Deal.” She shifted over so he could pull his arm out from beneath her body.

He climbed from the bed, and Melinda rolled onto her back to look at him. His hair stood out in tufts all over his head, and the smile he gave her, all sleepy and warm, melted her heart. He stretched his arms over his head and bent side to side to ease the stiffness from his limbs.

Melinda couldn’t tear her eyes away from the sight of his powerful body, from the muscles bunching and lengthening beneath his pjs, or from the sliver of tanned skin briefly visible above the waistband of his pajama bottoms.

All she could think was,
Wow
.

After rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Jacob smiled at her again and held both large hands out to help her up from the bed.

They stood only a hair’s breadth apart, staring into each other’s eyes, his hands still grasping hers, their fingers now entwined. She took a deep breath, and her breasts brushed his chest.

They both twitched from the contact.

Time spun out, and the silence lengthened. Neither of them looked away.

Jacob said, “Mel—” and she said, “Jake—” at the same time, but they didn’t laugh now, only smiled a little while their eyes continued to delve into each other’s.

Searching.

Finally, Jacob leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “Come on. I’ll feed you.”

Suddenly aware of the deep silence in the rest of the condo, Melinda said, “Where is everyone?”

“They left,” he answered over his shoulder as he led the way downstairs and into the kitchen. “Your mom thought they should clear out so you could rest.”

“Oh,” she said, frowning at his back and nibbling the tip of one finger.

She didn’t want everyone treating her like an invalid. Then again, she wasn’t really up to a day on the slopes, either, so maybe it was better this way.

Besides, it would give her unexpected—but welcome—time alone with Jacob.

Then the significance of his words sank in.

“Wait.” She stopped, one foot out in space, the other on the bottom tread of the staircase. “When did you talk to my mom?”

With his head in the fridge, Jacob’s body stiffened.

He said, “Ah,” and straightened to face her, his arms full of ingredients for pancakes. “She, uh, came upstairs. Earlier.”

Melinda blanched. “She saw us?”

A strangely watchful look crossed his face as he studied her in return. “Yeah. She did.”

“Oh, my God.”

Moving forward as though underwater, she sank into one of the chairs at the kitchen table and put her head in her hands.

“She didn’t seem to mind, Mel,” he said, caution in every syllable.

When she peeked up at him, he was watching her, his expression guarded.

“She didn’t?” Melinda could hardly believe that.

“She smiled.”

“She smiled?” Melinda repeated, mentally smacking herself for parroting everything he said, but shock held her firmly in its grip.

Her mother might have known she’d slept with Mitch, but that didn’t mean she was okay with finding her daughter in bed with a guy. Any guy, no matter who he was, no matter how chaste the occasion. Even Jacob.

It seemed unreal to think her mother could have caught them in bed together and not blown a gasket.

“It’s not like anything happened,” Jacob said now, putting the pancake ingredients down on the counter. “It was totally innocent, and we were both still dressed. After what happened, I think she knew you needed a friend. That’s all.”

“I guess,” she said, her brain wrangling with the issue.

It seemed so out of character for her mother, but it was Jacob, after all. Maybe that made the difference.

Would it still, if her mom discovered they were romantically involved? That might put a different spin on it. But—

Her thoughts broke off as Jacob spoke, and she looked up at the strange, hesitant tone in his voice.

“Do
you
mind?” he asked, not looking at her.

“Me?”

“That she saw us together?”

“Oh. Um…” Did she? Melinda searched her heart. It had seemed like a big deal a moment ago…

He came to the table and took the chair next to hers, turning it to face her and grasping her hand. The muscles in his shoulders and upper arms rippled with tension beneath the fabric of his shirt.

“Because, Mel—” He broke off and cleared his throat. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him look so nervous, and her own heartbeat sped up in response. “I have to—I need to say something to you, and maybe this isn’t the right time, but—”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jacob sucked in a deep, deep breath, and prepared to put everything on the line.

It wasn’t the right time, damn it. He knew it wasn’t. He still needed to tell her his news, she still needed time after the night before, after Mitch, time to come around to his point of view.

Yet all of a sudden he couldn’t stand not telling her, not knowing, and Melinda’s eyes, huge and deeply blue, were glued to his face, nerves and questions dancing in their depths.

“Jake?” she said, as he lifted their joined fingers and kissed the back of her hand.

He said, “I—” But he shook his head and stopped, blowing out a breath.

Get it together, Jake.

This was harder than he’d imagined.

Scooting his chair closer to hers, he leaned slowly toward her, watching her all the while, oxygen already backing up in his lungs.

Ever-so-gently, he placed his big hands on either side of her bruised, delicate face. Touching lightly so as not to hurt. He held there for a moment, hardly daring to breathe at all, absorbing the silk of her skin, the look in her wide, wide eyes.

She stayed perfectly motionless, though her lips parted, and her breaths came faster.

Now was the moment.

Grabbing hold of his courage, shutting off the voices circling through his mind full of worries and doubts and what-ifs, he closed his eyes, and moved forward another inch.

Another inch.

Then half-an-inch more.

And pressed his lips, whisper-soft, to hers.

Even that super-gentle contact sent jolt after jolt through his body.

Her lips… Ah, amazing. So soft, so warm.

But he held himself motionless, waiting.

And waiting.

He seemed to wait through eons, though only a moment passed before the barely-there return pressure of her sweet, full mouth on his shot his pulse through the snow-covered roof.

Eureka!

He tried to stay cool, and he tried not to over-think, but
Oh, my God, Melinda, I’m kissing Melinda, and her mouth tastes like sugar cookies, even with morning breath and everything, and I don’t even care, because wow...

It was all he could do not to jump up in the air and whoop like a fool all over the condo. She’d kissed him back! After all this time, all their years together.

She’d kissed him back.

How could he have known everything he’d ever wanted was right there beside him his entire life?

Jacob kept himself together through sheer dint of will, hardly moving, though fireworks snap-sizzle-popped behind his lids, and finally, finally he broke their most delicate of connections. He leaned backward slightly, opening his eyes to look into hers.

Now he would see the beginning or the end of everything. The fear he’d denied before slammed into his gut. What if—

Melinda raised a hand to her lips, staring back at him, a small ‘o’ of surprise on her plush mouth and his hands still on her heated cheeks.

He said, “Mel—” but she placed her hand against his lips to shush him, and her gaze followed the motion, staring at her fingertips against his mouth, then back to his eyes.

When her other hand came up between his arms and both of her hands slid over his cheekbones to hold his face the way he held hers, his belly tightened, jittered, jumped.

The warmth of her creamy skin seemed hot enough to scorch.

His heart rate accelerated even more, pounding in his veins. He’d never felt more turned on or more nervous, as though this kiss, right here, right now, was the very first of his life. In a way it was, because it was his first kiss with
Melinda
.

All others paled into insignificance.

Her gaze dropped to his lips again, then rose, very slowly this time, back to his eyes, the blue dark and sparkling, and when she leaned forward, his breath stopped altogether.

Like the faintest brush of dandelion fluff, her lips teased his mouth. She pressed tiny little kisses across his lips and one to each corner, and he held statue-still, unable to breathe, only feel, and the feeling…

Holy God.

Then she came back to the center and sank against him, pressing her luscious mouth more fully to his, igniting a fire in his belly.

But she was injured.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, leaning away only slightly, regret heavy in his stomach, touching her bruised lips with a shaking fingertip.

“I don’t even feel it.” She breathed the words against him, everything, everything so soft and sweet and gentle, he could hardly bear it.

“I—” he began, but awkwardness clutched his tongue.

They should wait.

They should talk.

This was Melinda. But...

“What is it?” she asked, her words whispering over his skin, raising all the tiny hairs on his arms and the back of his neck.

Where was his courage now?

Hesitant, he kept his eyes on hers, hoping she could read the truth there, the needs. The emotions. The hopes.

“I want to—” He moved his hands awkwardly.

“I know,” she whispered, not looking away from him, and there was his courage, wrapped in trust and shining from the depths of her shimmering eyes. “Me, too.”

Schooling himself to stay careful, Jacob slid his hands under her arms, slowly pulling her from her chair, their gazes locked. He drew her across the brief space separating them and onto his lap.