Authors: B Button
Mom sighed again and got up. She went to the shelf next to the stove and pulled a small box out of the cabinet. Without saying a word, she sat back down at the table, opened the box and pulled out the contents.
“Help me put this on,” she said.
My mouth hung open. “It’s . . . it’s a necklace!”
“Yes, just like yours.”
“Where? What? How?”
“It’s Berna’s. She gave it to me.”
“What?”
“She’s done traveling. Somehow she got permission to give it to me.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I, but she gave it to me nonetheless. She told me to put it on before my birthday.”
“That’s three months away,” I said. “And from what she said, there’s no steering where you’re going to go. You could end up anywhere at any time.”
Mom shook her head. “Berna couldn’t tell me much, but she said that she thinks I’ll be able to travel to you – that family thing again. Here, help me put it on.”
I didn’t know what to think. Was this the solution? Could Mom and I both go back to the same time? She could come with me?
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I said as I got up and fastened the necklace.
“I’ve thought about it a long time, Kally. I’m positive this is what I want to do. It’s worth a try, don’t you think?”
“Traveling through time is more serious than ‘worth a try.’”
“I have nothing here. No matter what, come tomorrow even if you don’t get married, I’m on my own. Granny would want me to do it, I know.”
“You’re right, she would.”
“So it’s settled.”
“Why would Berna stop traveling now?”
“The library,” Mom said. “She’s devoting herself to it.”
“Really?”
“She’s tired, Kally. She’s been traveling a long time. She’s been married a number of times. She’s raised children. Now, she wants to travel by reading. She says there are more worlds and times and places in the books in the library than if she traveled for thousands more years.”
“But, this time – 2186 – isn’t the best of all times. I’d think she’d want to go someplace else before she stopped.”
“I’m going to tell you something that she told me but I don’t think she was supposed to.”
“I’m listening.”
“It gets better. Here, now, I mean. She’s traveled to a place not far in the future from this time and she said that things happen to make it a better place.”
“Like what?”
“She wouldn’t say.”
“I can’t imagine.”
“Me either, but is that reason enough for you not to go back to Scotland?”
“The only reason I won’t go is because I don’t want to leave you.”
“That’s fixed.” She touched the pendant at the bottom of her throat. “I’ll be there three months after you.”
“We can’t be sure.”
“Kally, we can’t be sure of anything, but we have to try. We have to.”
There were so many things we didn’t know, so many questions, and no answers. But we both knew that what we were doing was worth a try. Before we went to bed, it was settled; we’d both go - wherever we were supposed to go.
I didn’t sleep. Mom didn’t sleep. I stayed with her in her in her bed. We didn’t talk much while we didn’t sleep. There was nothing left to say except ‘good-bye’ and neither of us wanted to say that.
Eighteen
We got up together the next morning. If things proceeded as they had before, I would leave at around 8:00. We got ready for the day – I put on jeans, a t-shirt and a brand new pair of sneakers and went to the kitchen.
It wasn’t fancy. There was nothing announcing that it was going to happen. It just happened.
“I love you, Kally,” Mom said.
“I love you, too.” And in the next breath, the next blink, I was gone.
*****
And I was back. Back in the clearing I’d landed in the first time I’d gone to Scotland. I sat up with a fuzzy head, but I knew exactly where I was and what had happened. The ache of missing my mother hit me immediately, but I held on to the hope that I’d see her in three months.
It took me some moments to gather myself, but soon I was up running towards Berna’s. She’d stopped traveling but she didn’t know if time was still hanging on to her in Scotland. She said things might not have caught up, yet.
Soon, I came upon the cabin. It was still there! As I approached, I could see that it had not worn well over my last year. Every part of it sagged. I flung open the door, only to find it empty of almost everything.
“Berna?” I called. But the answer was the type of silence that confirmed that no one had been around in a very long time. The shelves were still there, still strewn with leftover dried herbs and crustiness of other sorts.
It was impossible to tell how much time had passed here. The cabin had been in such condition that she could have been gone for only a year and it would have fallen to this. I looked around for one last sign of her, but she wasn’t anywhere to be found.
I remembered the stone in the fireplace. I hurried over and pulled at the loose, flat rock. Underneath was a yellowed and folded piece of parchment with my name written on it.
With anxious shaky fingers, I unfolded the note and read the few words she’d left me.
Kally – my time in yer Scotland is almost over. I know it. I will miss seeing ye again. At the writing of this note it has been three years since ye have been here. Good luck. Things have changed at the castle, but ye need to find the answers yourself. Be happy, lass. It’s the least I can offer ye. I believe there’s a happy ending in your future – even if your future is in the past.
Three years? But after that, how many? I hugged the note to my chest and then folded it and put it in my pocket.
There were no goats around, but the well still worked so I drank some clear water until I wasn’t thirsty and then I took off again. In a run. I made it to the boulder, glanced at it longingly and then all around. Wouldn’t it be perfect if Mac were here? But he wasn’t. No one was. I kept running.
It took much longer when no horses were involved. It was already becoming dark and I was hidden by the last hill before the castle. I flattened myself on my belly and peered over. I needed to calm down before I stormed it. It hadn’t changed all that much. The stables that had burned down had been replaced, but they didn’t look brand new. The bridge over the stream actually looked in better condition than it had the time I was here. And, everything was well-groomed and well taken care of. There were people walking around the grounds, the bridge and the courtyard, but from where I was I couldn’t recognize anyone.
As I watched the goings-on, I became frightened. Here I was again. Invading on these peoples’ lives, imposing on their very existence. I knew they liked me, I knew Mac loved me, but how fair was this, really? How much patience did they have?
I laughed. “Mom,” I said to the air. “We didn’t think about them, we didn’t talk about them. We only talked about us.”
It was selfish, but I didn’t care as much as I should have. I just wanted to see Mac. I stood, brushed myself off. I was ready.
But my next step was thwarted. From the other side of the grounds, I saw people I recognized. Or at least I thought I did. I was positive I was seeing Isla and her father riding toward the bridge.
Isla was still petite, but her head was covered by the hood of a cloak. I couldn’t tell how old she was, but from the way she sat on the horse, she didn’t seem that much older. Ivar Lennox had a salt and pepper braid, but he sat straight and strong as well. Darkness was coming on quickly, so I couldn’t get a good enough look to judge much of anything. The sight of them halted me cold. I did not want to announce my arrival at the same time they were visiting.
I also didn’t want to wait any longer.
I went back and forth for a long time, finally deciding that the night wasn’t going to be stormy or too cold for me wait outside. I could present myself when they left. Perhaps I could find Una first and get myself cleaned up and then find Mac.
And though I tried to stay awake, sometime during the night, on the bright green hill, I fell asleep.
*****
My dreams were vivid and full of images of Mac and his family, Berna, my mom, and my Lennox ancestors.
But I saw mostly the image of Mac. He was always there; somewhere, even if in the dream he didn’t see me. He’d call my name and his eyes would squint as they searched, always searched, never giving up.
“Kally?” Mac called in the dream. “Kally, lass, where are ye?”
“I’m here,” I said. I must have been talking in my sleep because my voice awakened me. For a moment I wasn’t sure where I was but I knew I was very cold and soaked to the bone.
“Mac,” I whispered to myself. “At least you will always be in my dreams.”
“Kally?”
I knew I wasn’t asleep anymore, but the voice was still there. I sat up quickly, a shot of adrenaline pulling me conscious.
“Mac?”
He was standing next to the bridge, looking in every direction.
“Oh my god.” I stood and hesitated only a second before I yelled.
“Mac!”
We saw each other and then both took off in a crazy sprint. When we met half-way, he pulled me into his arms and kissed my muddy lips.
“It is ye. It really is,” he said when we were done.
I blinked the water out of my eyes. Rain was coming down in a steady drizzle. My hair was drenched and my face felt like it was covered in mud. I couldn’t have looked like anything but terrifying. But it didn’t matter.
“Mac,” I said desperately.
He loosened his grip. “I’ve missed ye so much.”
“How old are you?” I demanded. He looked older, but not by much. It was the question, above everything else, that I had to have answered.
“Twenty and two. And are ye eighteen?” He wasn’t as fresh faced, but slightly more mature. His shoulders were slightly broader and the very beginnings of laugh lines were forming around his amazing eyes. But they were still the same Duncan blue. His long hair was pulled back in a braid and it seemed darker.
“Yes.”
“Ye are lovely and just like I remembered.” He looked at me with those eyes. He inspected me from top to bottom without, somehow, looking away from my own eyes.
“It rained,” I said stupidly.
“Aye, it did.”
“I’m … oh, Mac.” I threw myself at him and he lifted me again. He held tight and returned another kiss. There was something different to his kiss, something more mature, more peaceful; and he savored it just as much as I did. There was also a familiarity, something like home, something soft that transformed into more, something possessive. I finally pulled back. “I’ve missed you more than you know.”
“No, I think I ken weel enough.”
We were both now soaked and muddy.
“I’m sorry,” I said. I got you all dirty and you’re dressed so nicely.” He was dressed up, in what I assumed was his nicest kilt and plaid, at least it was before I’d gotten a hold of him.
He huffed away my comment and then held me tighter. Those few first moments of shock were now over. We were both real and the year(s) that had passed were reduced to a split second. He put his arms around me and held me tightly. “We have a lot to catch up on. Let’s go inside and let everyone ken ye’re here.”
“Wait,” I said as I pulled away. Moisture dripped down the sides of my face and my arms. Really, I was drenched. “No, I have to look at you for a minute.”
“Then, I’ll look at ye, too.”
“You’re a grown man!” I fingered the bite-mark scars on his arm.
“And, ye’re a grown woman.”
“But you’re twenty-two. I’m only eighteen. Am I too young?”
Mac pulled me to him again and whispered in my ear. “Ye’ll never be either too young or too old, Kally. My love for ye has nothing to do wi’ yer age. Am I too old for ye?” He kissed that spot under my ear that was now surely muddy.
“Never.”
“Weel, then.” He loosened his hug slightly. “Let’s go in.”
“Wait, I have to know about everyone. What do I need to be prepared for?”
“My father is happy and has his health still. Una is fine, though she’s had some trouble with her knees – she fights them something terrible, though, and usually wins.”
“I bet. Corc? Ian?”
“Corc is older. He’s a fighter, too, but he’s definitely older. Ian is well, fine. Maisie, their children, all fine.”
I hadn’t noticed that the sun had come out and we were suddenly drying and warming, the mud turning into dried-on dirt.
“Come, let’s go in,” he said impatiently.
“Wait, wait. I have to know about Isla. What about the … the marriage? The feud over the land?”
Mac’s face fell. He let go of me and looked away from my eyes.
“Mac, just tell me. What is it?”