Thumb stuck firmly in his mouth, Connor gazed up at her. He was six, but he was so small and skinny that he only looked about four, and he seemed to have stopped growing altogether after his dad left. But he’d have to get used to Terry not being here one day. They all would.
‘I thought you were going out, Mummy?’ he said now, his words muted by the thumb.
‘So did I,’ Sue murmured, sighing as she glanced down at her watch again. ‘But I’ve got to wait for your sister, haven’t I?’
‘She promised to play Superman with me,’ Connor said sleepily. ‘I hope she hasn’t forgot.’
‘She won’t have,’ Sue assured him, reaching down to stroke his mud-brown hair. It had been cut in the same close-cropped style as Terry’s since the day he’d had enough hair
to
cut, and Sue had thought the ‘mini-me’ thing was really sweet –
then
. Now she hated it, because it reminded her so much of his dad. But every time she left it to grow, Connor picked up nits from some kid at school and it all had to go again.
Gritting her teeth now to prevent the wave of misery that was washing in on her from taking hold, she said, ‘Anyway, don’t you go dropping off, or you won’t be playing anything when Nicky gets home.’
‘I’m not tired,’ Connor lied, his attention switching to the TV as the music for his favourite sitcom started up. ‘You can go now, if you want.’
‘Oh, can I now?’ She snorted amusedly. ‘And who’s going to look after you?’
‘I’m a big boy now,’ he informed her earnestly. ‘Auntie Julie said.’
‘Auntie Julie said what?’ Julie asked, coming back just then to let Sue know that they’d better get a move on because Titty Man had to leave in a minute for another booking.
‘That he can look after himself until Nicky gets home,’ Sue told her. ‘Because,
apparently
, he’s a big boy now.’
‘Well, he is.’ Julie tossed him a fond smile. Then, pursing her lips, she said, ‘Actually, that’s not such a bad idea.’
‘What, leave him?’ Sue frowned. ‘Don’t be daft. He’s six, not sixteen.’
‘Yeah, but he’s smart,’ Julie countered, lowering her voice so that Connor wouldn’t hear. ‘Come on, Sue, think about it. Have you ever met a more obedient child in your entire life? If you tell him not to move till your Nicky gets back, you know for a fact that he won’t budge. And you said it yourself – she’ll be back any minute.’
‘What if she’s not?’
‘You’re kidding me, right?’ Drawing her head back, Julie gave Sue an incredulous look. ‘This is your Nicky we’re talking about. The girl who’d rather stop at home and play with her little brother than go out with her own mates.’
‘Only because she knows how much he’s missing you-know-who,’ Sue whispered, not wanting to say Terry’s name out loud in case she upset Connor and really buggered up her chances of going out.
‘Exactly,’ Julie said. ‘So, she’ll be on her way home right now, won’t she?’
‘Probably,’ Sue conceded, shrugging lightly. ‘But it still doesn’t feel right.’
‘Only ’cos you’re an over-protective mum who thinks the roof’s going to cave in if you take your eyes off him for two minutes,’ Julie said bluntly, reaching for Sue’s jacket and shoving it into her hands. ‘I did it loads of times when mine were little, and none of them suffered for it, did they?’
Biting her lip, Sue gazed down at Connor thoughtfully. Julie was right about him being obedient, and if she said stay put, he would. So could it really do any harm to leave him on his own for a few minutes, knowing that Nicky would definitely be back soon?
‘Well?’ Julie was already edging towards the door. ‘Shall I tell Titty Man to wait, or let him go and take our chances with the bus when Nicky turns up as soon as he’s gone?’
Hesitating for just a moment longer, Sue said, ‘Okay, I’ll come. But I’m holding you responsible if anything happens.’
‘Which it won’t,’ Julie said confidently. ‘Will it, Con-Con?’ Dipping her head, she grinned at him. ‘’Cos you’re gonna be as good as gold and watch telly till Nickers gets home, aren’t you? And you can have a choccy biccy while you’re waiting – can’t he, Mum?’ This she aimed at Sue, gesturing with a nod towards the kitchen.
‘A Penguin?’ Connor piped up hopefully.
Sighing, Sue flapped her hands and headed into the kitchen. Winking at Connor when she’d gone, Julie waggled her fingers and backed out of the door, whispering, ‘See you later, squirt. Be good.’
Bringing two Penguin bars back, Sue handed them to her son and kissed the top of his head, telling him not to go out, and not to answer the door under any circumstance – unless it was Nicky and she’d lost her key. Then, slotting her cigarettes and lighter into her handbag alongside her purse and her make-up, she picked up her keys and headed out, calling back over her shoulder that she’d see him tomorrow.
‘All set?’ Julie asked when she jumped into the back of the cab moments later.
Nodding, Sue glanced nervously back at the house as they pulled away from the kerb.
‘He’ll be fine,’ Julie assured her. ‘So let’s stop fretting and start practising our sexy smiles before we see those men of ours, eh?’
Grimacing when Julie gave her a cheesy grin, Sue said, ‘I wouldn’t do that to yours if I was you – you’ll scare the bloody life out of him.’
‘You don’t really think he’ll be paying any attention to my face when he cops an eyeful of these, do you?’ Julie quipped, cupping her breasts and giving them a jiggle.
‘Somebody’s already copping an eyeful, by the looks of it,’ Sue said loudly, raising her eyebrows at the driver as he ogled her friend in the rear-view mirror. ‘Concentrate on the road, you. I want to get there in one piece.’
‘Leave him alone,’ Julie chuckled. ‘He deserves a bit of fun after all the waiting he’s had to do tonight. He even turned the meter off – didn’t you, babe?’ Leaning forward now, she pushed her breasts through the gap between the seats so that they were grazing his shoulder, and whispered huskily, ‘And who knows what you might get if you leave it off for the rest of the journey, eh?’
Shaking her head, Sue gazed out of the window – just in time to see a shadowy figure darting past. Pressing her nose against the glass as they reached the corner, she peered back. She was pretty sure it had been Nicky, but she decided to ring her again, anyway. To let her know that Connor hadn’t had his tea yet, and to remind her that there was a fiver in the pot to top up the electric card before it ran out.
Frowning when she couldn’t find her phone, she groaned when she remembered leaving it on the coffee table. But she couldn’t go back for it now; Julie would go mad if she made them any later than they already were. Anyway, she didn’t really need it. If there were any problems – which there wouldn’t be, she was sure – Nicky was sensible enough to call her on Julie’s phone.
Satisfied that everything was sorted, Sue shook off the last of her niggling doubts and settled back in her seat, all set for a good night out.
Craning her neck to watch as the taxi disappeared around the corner, Pauline Wilson tutted when a young girl from the other end of the road darted past her gate. Dropping the curtain back into place when the road was quiet again, she went back to her chair, muttering under her breath.
‘What’s that?’ her husband murmured distractedly. He wasn’t listening, it was just second nature to respond whenever she spoke, or she’d start accusing him of ignoring her. And if she got started with one of her rants, she wouldn’t stop till the sun came up and chased her back into her coffin.
‘Her next door,’ Pauline said disapprovingly. ‘Off out again with that fat lass. I don’t know what they think they look like with everything hanging out like that, but it’s not decent.’
‘Mmm,’ John said, his gaze fixed on the infinitely more interesting shots of a bloody American crime scene on the TV screen.
‘I mean, I know she’s had a bad time of it lately,’ Pauline went on. ‘But that’s no reason to go putting yourself about like that, is it? Not when you’ve got children to consider. And that Maria from down the road’s no better, the way she lets that lass of hers wander up and down the place. Black as coal it is out there tonight, and icy as all hell, but their Jodie’s just gone running past in the thinnest jacket I’ve ever seen. It’s a wonder she’s not—’
‘Isn’t it time you got the kettle on?’ John interrupted, sensing that she wasn’t going to stop – with or without his interaction.
‘Sorry . . . ?’ Drawing her head back, Pauline gave him an incredulous look. ‘Is it my turn again already? Only I could have
sworn
I’d made the last three.’
‘I’m watching my programme,’ he groaned, hoping that she’d take the hint and belt up.
‘Aye, and I bet there’s more of the same lined up for when it’s finished,’ she said, wondering why she bothered trying to have a conversation with him at all, these days. Since they’d got that cable TV, it was nothing but wall-to-wall forensics in this house.
‘That’s right.’ Settling back in his chair, John raised the leg-rest an extra notch. ‘
CSI’
s Vegas and New York – and they’re both follow-ups, so I’m going to need a bit of quiet in here, if you don’t mind.’
‘Oh, well, don’t let me disturb you,’ Pauline said sniffily. ‘I’ll just go and do my duties while his lordship has a rest, shall I? Tea, is it?’ She pushed herself out of her chair. ‘Or how about something a bit more exotic – like a nice mug of Ovaltine, or a little shot of arsenic?’
John ignored the sarcasm with practised ease.
‘Tea’s fine. But not too much milk, mind.’
‘You’ll get what you’re given,’ she muttered, adding, ‘And I’ll take the bins out while I’m at it, will I? Even though you promised to do it hours ago.’
‘Aye, if you’re up to it.’ Reaching for the remote, John pushed the volume up.
Shooting him a dirty look, Pauline went into the kitchen and slammed the door.
At the precise moment when Pauline switched on her kitchen light, the electric ran out next door, extinguishing the lights, the TV and the two-bar fire. Plunged into darkness, Connor shot up with a squeal of terror. He hated the dark, but he especially hated it when Nicky wasn’t there to keep the monsters that lurked in the shadows at bay.
Heart beating painfully in his skinny chest, he eased himself down off the couch and stumbled across to the window. Standing on his tiptoes, he pulled the curtain aside and peered out at the road, but Nicky was nowhere to be seen, and the neighbours were all tucked away safely behind their own curtains, through which he could see the warm glow of lamps and flickering TVs.
Tears streaming down his cheeks, he rested his forehead against the icy pane.
Yanking her back door open, Pauline staggered up the path, cursing as the heavy bin-bag smacked against her shins with every step. Left to John, it would fester in the kitchen for the rest of the week and stink the house out. But did he care about that? Did he hell as like!
Heaving the bag up when she reached the gate, she shoved it into the wheelie bin and slammed the lid down on it. Wiping her hands on her skirt, she took a cigarette out of her cardigan pocket and lit up, feeling strangely cheated when the smoke was immediately stolen by the swirling winds. John had never smoked, so he didn’t understand the pleasure she got from it – or the relief. And,
boy
, did she need all the relief she could get now he’d retired and was spending every waking moment under her feet.
Raising her hand to take another puff, she paused when the sound of muted crying floated to her. Sure that it was Connor, she peered round, only to see that next door was in darkness. Telling herself that she must have been mistaken, because Nicky always stopped in to look after Connor when Sue went out and would still be watching telly since it was only just gone nine, Pauline was about to turn to face the road again when a movement caught her eye. For a split second she was convinced that she’d seen the faint outline of a face at the window, but as soon as it was there it was gone again. And the crying had stopped, too.
Frowning now, she wondered if she ought to pop over to see if everything was all right. But she quickly dismissed the idea. It would be just her luck for Sue to come back and catch her. And she couldn’t face that, not after the last time. All she’d done was ask if Connor was all right after one of his all-night crying sessions, but Sue had gone berserk, calling Pauline all the nosy bitches under the sun and screaming at her to stay the hell away from her family – and in front of all the neighbours, too.
No, she couldn’t face that again. Any more than she could face the ‘
how many times have I told you to keep your nose out of other people’s business
’ lectures that she’d get from John for months to come.
Finishing her cigarette, Pauline flicked the butt out into the road and hurried back into the warmth of her house.
Huddled on the floor below the window, Connor held his breath until he’d heard Pauline’s door closing. Sure that she’d spotted him just now, he’d ducked out of sight, terrified that she’d tell his mum he’d been peeping and get him into trouble. Or, worse, get Nicky into trouble for not being home yet.
Shivering as the chill of the winter night began to settle over the room, he got up. Making sure that the curtains were tightly drawn in case Pauline sneaked round for a nosy, he navigated his way past the couch and around the table into the kitchen. He was tired and hungry, and he wanted Nicky to come home and put the electric back on. But until she did, he’d just have to be a big boy and look after himself.
Licking at the bubble of snot that was dripping out of his nose, Connor rummaged blindly through the kitchen drawer for the candle his mum kept there. Finding it, he patted around on the side of the cooker for the matches. Feeling a surge of relief when the orange glow highlighted the familiar messy ledges and dish-filled sink, he lit the candle and secured it to a saucer with its own wax before carrying it carefully up the stairs.