Sheisty (12 page)

Then of course he hit me with some guilt shit. "Why you gotta act like that?" he frowned.

"Like what?"

"Like you ain't happy a nigga coming home or something, what's up you, you don't love me anymore?"

"Yeah I do and I am happy," I said.

"So, knock it off and let's just do the damn thing Sha. I told you I ain't gon' never do nothing to hurt you. You've been holding a nigga down for real and I ain't gon' do you dirty, believe that. Meet with dude tomorrow, handle your business and let's get this nigga's paper a'ight."

"Cright, your times up", yelled the correction officer. Before I could respond, K.C. got up and threw his tongue down my throat then slapped me on my ass.

"Daddy'll be home soon... I love you ma," he said as the C.O. escorted him down the hall and through the steel door.

A nauseating feeling, sharp pains in my stomach and vomiting
had me up all morning.
At first I thought it might have been from that nasty ass Chinese food I had last night, but laying here feeling the way I was feeling made me think back to the last time me and C had sex and lots of it. I knew sooner or later one of his balls was gonna make the basket. On top of that I ain't no stranger to the feeling, I been down this road too many times, but this time seems like the worse. Instead of lying here hoping it ain't so, I decided to get up and go buy a pregnancy test; thinking the sooner I confirm it the faster I can get rid of it.

On my way out the door you'll never guess who called me...

Malikai. Ain't that funny? My first question was a dumb one. I asked him how did he get my number, and before he could answer I already knew... Keisha, nobody but her. He started kicking the game about how much he missed me and that he not only wanted me back, but needed me back in his life. His timing couldn't have been worse; I had enough drama in my life right now so I shut him down by telling him I wasn't interested.

Although I did miss him a little bit, I wasn't about to make his come back an easy one. If his ass is serious he'll call again.

Ever since I saw C parked in front of my apartment, I've been parking my car on the next block over. The walking distance was a pain in my ass especially since I picked up this laziness. I was in and out of CVS in about 5 seconds flat. I then stopped at the Bodega on the next corner because I had a taste for a turkey and cheese hero with a lot of mayo. The way I was creeping you would have thought someone had a hit out on my life or something, but I just didn't want C-God rolling up on me. On my way back to the crib it started to drizzle a little bit so I decided to parked in front of my apartment, it was bad enough I didn't feel like walking anyway and I damn sure wasn't about to walk in no rain for nobody. First thing I did when I got inside was lock the door; second, I ran to the bathroom squatted over the toilet and peed in the plastic cup that came with the First Response pregnancy test. In exactly one minute, it was confirmed. I was pregnant and once again smacked in the face with the unexpected.

I was out all afternoon running errands, something I usually
don't get to do alone; most of time I'm lugging the baby around
with me.
My family has been a big help, it felt good to have them around. These past couples of days have been a blessing because it gave me a chance to have a heart to heart with my mom and finally hear and understand her side of the story. She explained to me what her weakness was, which at the time was my father, a man that had full control of her--until he left her.

She told me she felt like giving up and alcohol became her sav-ior.

No other man could walk in the shoes my father walked in; not the fathers of my sisters, no one except a bottle of booze.

She stayed drunk all the time, hanging out 'til the wee hours of the morning and sometimes she ain't even come home. I never knew which one of her two alcoholic boyfriends fathered my sisters and neither did she. They use to all get drunk together and try to figure out who looked like who.

That shit is sad, but I now understand that she has a sickness and all that matters is that she's fighting it. I also feel her pain as far as my father was concerned because I know I would definitely lose myself if Tucker ever left me or something tragic happened. Speaking of Tucker, he's back in town but not staying at the house; he decided it would be best if he stayed away because there was too much heat around. I am not a happy camper right about now, but he feels it's for our safety. So, decided not to argue with that, all I do know is, he's got five days, three hours and twenty-two minutes to turn down the heat before our wedding.

Back at the house I called ahead to have the girls meet me outside to help with the groceries. As much as they liked to get their eat on, I knew it wouldn't be a problem. When I walked in the house and my mother pulled me to the side.

"I think you should take a look at this in private. The girls hooked up the VCR to play a tape for the baby and this came on.

I don't think they saw that much because I was only in the kitchen for a minute, but I made them turn it off and give it to me as soon as I seen it. After you watch it, if you feel you want to talk about it I'm right here. You hear me? If not that's okay, but either way, I suggest you get rid of that tape." I didn't understand the seriousness coming from my mother.

What could be on this tape that was so vital? There was only one way to find out. I unplugged the VCR in the living room and car-ried it up to my bedroom. My heart pounded and my hands shook as I connected the wires to the back of the television. I inserted the tape, pressed play and there I was having the best sex I ever had in my life... with the stripper. I jumped up and stopped the tape in disbelief.
What the fuck, this can't be
? All kinds of thoughts were going through my head. I ejected the tape and put it in the small lock box I kept in my panties drawer. I started to tremble all over as I paced back and forth, wreck-ing my brain, trying to figure out who could hate me that much to do something like this, and drop it off on my door step in hopes that what... Tucker and I would watch this shit together?

The funny thing is, I can't think of any one of the girls there that night that would want to destroy my happiness. Even though Lea kept on insisting we have some dick in our face for entertainment, what would she have to gain, she only dates Spanish guys and has a man, so I don't think she'd do this. Epiphany and Shana, they wouldn't, so that's not even a question. The stripper guy doesn't even know where I live at. Simone and I are cool and doing something like this ain't even her style. Now Tawanna and Dana, those two are suspect cause I don't know too much about them nor have I known them long.

No matter how many excuses I try to come up with for my so-called friends, what it all boils down to is somebody there in that room, that night wants to break up my happy home and I'm gonna find out who.

"Who is it?" I said, responding to my mothers knock at the door.

"Is everything okay?" she said talking quietly through the door.

"It will be if you can look after the baby for me just a little while longer, because I need to be alone for awhile." She agreed. Out of embarrassment and all the mixed emotions beating me in my head, I stayed locked in my room for the rest of the night.

Chasity's been calling me all morning with straight drama.
Who knew this chick would have turned out to be a psycho bitch. I don't even have caller ID, so I could screen my calls. I decided not to answer the phone anymore. I just hope K.C. doesn't try to call me 'cause he be tripping. I already spoke to his boy Smitty and confirmed our meeting. We decided to hook up at the food court in Queens Center Mall, somewhere crowded and noisy.

When I got to the mall the nigga wasn't there, he told me that he would be wearing a Philly 76ers Allen Iverson jersey, blue jeans and some all white Air Force Ones. I ordered some KFC and waited. Twenty minutes later, this nigga had the nerve to come strolling in to the food court with bags in his hand. I couldn't believe I was here to do his ass a favor and he had me waiting while he shopped. That's some bullshit, I don't even know his ass and already I ain't feeling him. I raised my hand to catch his attention. He walked over to the table on some real hard shit, like he had just won an award for thug of the year. I wanted to laugh 'cause if it was that serious we wouldn't be here now trying to plot his payback for C-God whipping his ass.

"Yo, what up Ma?" he said, as he sat down.

"What up?" I responded back.

"Yo, ma, you look mad familiar, I seen you before?" he asked staring me in the face.

"Yeah, that's possible; you're from my projects."

"Oh word," he said acting like he didn't know.

"Listen, what's really good?" I said trying to cut all the small talk and get down to the topic at hand.

"Yo, I wanna murder the nigga C-God, him and that pussy ass nigga Mike that roll with him," he said in a hostile tone.

"Well K.C. ain't say all that, he just said ya'll was gonna rob him."

"Come on Ma, you from the hood, so I know you ain't no dummy. How the fuck you gon' rob a nigga like him and not split his wig, unless you ready to die. You feel what I'm saying, ma?"

"Yeah, I feel you but if you don't mind me asking, what is ya'll beef over?"

"Man some bitch I fucked, got that nigga open off her ass or something. So I'm out chilling by myself and shit at this little spot, you know what I'm saying, and I sees the bitch, right, so I said 'hi' to her. Next thing I know, that punk ass nigga and his boy done snuff me out and shit for speaking to the hoe. Yo, all I got to say is them niggas is lucky I wasn't strapped that night and ain't seen them since; 'cause that's my word, nigga's would've been a memory by now, that bitch too. Matter fact, I rolled up on her ass a while back wishing I had the gat." He started to get real hype as he spoke.

"Who's the girl?" I said not really caring just being nosey.

"Some bitch, man I can't even remember the bitches name, she a light-skin chick, she drive a fucking silver 325."

"Epiphany!" I blurted out. Actually, I wasn't surprised at all.

I should've put that shit together a long time ago, when he first said some girl who was out with C, but then again everybody knows, that nigga C-God be running around with different chicks.

"Yeah... how you know her?" Smitty sounded really curious.

"Let's just say she's like my family and if you want me to give you the info you need you gotta leave her out of it."

"Man, fuck that hoe," he said like he had to put some thought into to it. "A'ight, a'ight I ain't gon' fuck with her." I know most of the time E gets on my nerves, but Keish was right when she said Epiphany is the way she is and has been ever since we've known her. I ain't trying to go out like that, letting something happen to her that I could prevent.

To make a long story short I gave up the location to C's Long Island apartment in West Hempstead. The only thing about his spot is you gotta be buzzed in to get inside. To my knowledge, only Mike knew about that spot. Oh and of course me, I also knew where Mike's baby momma lives at in Brooklyn, right off of Atlantic Avenue on, I think, Carlton Place or Fulton... one or the other. I told Smitty, Mike's always resting his head at her house. Just as we were getting ready to go our separate ways, here comes this psycho bitch Chasity from out of nowhere blowing up my spot, with all her yelling and screaming.

"Oh, this is the muthafucka you left me for? This scrawny, dusty ass lil' nigga right here?"

"Bitch, who the fuck you calling scrawny and dusty, you dyke bitch," Smitty said, ready to scrap.

"If I'm a dyke your bitch is one too cause she eats pussy just like I do," Chasity screamed, putting me on blast and embarrass-ing the shit out of me.

"Yo ma, you get down like that?" Smitty asked me.

"Hell no, she's just mad 'cause I don't." All I could do was deny every word that came out her mouth, by saying, "You need to stop it, don't be mad cause I ain't no fucking carpet muncher, bitch." Boy, why did I say the b-word, she charged at me like a raging bull and started swinging. Look, I ain't no punk bitch; I just didn't want to fight the girl. What happened next, she brought on herself. Still running off with the mouth and trying to fight me, Smitty grabbed her up off of me and punched her right in her mouth. She hit the floor and we hit the door just before security came. Smitty walked me to my car, but ended up having to drive me home because my tires were slashed and wind-shield was smashed. He was amused by the bullshit.

"Damn yo, that was some crazy shit, yo why she acting like that? I'm saying, you sure ya'll ain't
never
licked on that girls pussy 'cause that bitch is fuckin' looney yo," he said full of laughter.

I didn't open my mouth. Besides, it's none of his fucking business; asking 21 question and don't even know me. I knew he couldn't wait to tell K.C., and that's the only nigga I had to answer to.

I tossed and turned, trying to get some sleep.
It was only 11:

p.m. and I could not stop thinking about that tape. It also dawned on me that I hadn't spoken to Tucker all day, so I picked up the cordless and called him on his cell. The phone rang about six times then went to voicemail. As I was leaving a message he beeped in on the other line. I clicked over.

"Hello?"

"What's up Keish?" he said nonchalantly.

"Nothing, where are you?"

"Come on Keish, you know I can't discuss that over the phone," he said.

"Well, I want you to come home tonight, I need you," I said.

"Listen Keish, we already talked about this shit and I told you what's going on and you guys don't need to be around it."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah so how are we supposed to be getting married in four days if you won't even come home?" I said, rude-ly interrupting what he was saying.

"We won't be if you don't let me handle my business. A'ight, I gotta go."
Click
. He hung up on me. I dialed him back but my call went straight to voicemail this time. I waited for about five seconds and dialed him again and got the same results--his voicemail. This is not good, how could something that's been so good for over five years turn bad in two weeks.