Read Letting Go of Disappointments and Painful Losses Online
Authors: Pam Vredevelt
Letting Go of Disappointments and Painful Losses
“PAM’S WRITING SPEAKS TO THE PLACE WHERE PEOPLE ARE
living. With sensitivity and insight, Pam gently prompts the reader to take a new direction. She brings hope and healing where before there was only darkness. I’d recommend this book to be read again and again.”
H. N
ORMAN
W
RIGHT
,
COUNSELOR AND AUTHOR OF
RECOVERING FROM THE LOSSES OF LIFE
AND
WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?
“IN PAM VREDEVELT’S GENTLE YET KNOWLEDGEABLE STYLE
, we are taken by the hand and shown how to hang onto hope while letting go of disappointments and recovering joy from painful losses. Whether it is you who has suffered a loss, or someone you dearly love, you will be thankful you found this book.”
L
ISA
W
HELCHEL, AUTHOR OF
THE FACTS OF LIFE AND OTHER LESSONS MY FATHER TAUGHT ME
LETTING GO OF DISAPPOINTMENTS AND PAINFUL LOSSES
published by Multnomah Books
© 2001 by Pam Vredevelt
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are from
The Holy Bible
,
New International Version © 1973, 1984 by International Bible Society,
used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House.
Also quoted:
The Amplified Bible
(
AMP
) © 1965, 1987 by Zondervan Publishing House.
The Message
© 1993 by Eugene H. Peterson.
The Living Bible
(
TLB
) © 1971. Used by permission of
Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.
New American Standard Bible
(
NASB
) © 1960, 1977, 1995
by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
The Holy Bible
, New King James Version (
NKJV
) © 1984 by Thomas Nelson, Inc.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook Multnomah, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House Inc., New York.
Multnomah and its mountain colophon are registered trademarks of Random House Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission.
For information:
MULTNOMAH BOOKS
12265
ORACLE BOULEVARD, SUITE
200
COLORADO SPRINGS
, CO 80921
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Vredevelt, Pam W., 1955–
Letting go of disappointments and painful losses / by Pam Vredevelt.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-307-76947-3
1. Consolation. 2. Disappointment—Religious aspects, Christianity.
3. Loss (Psychology)—Religious aspects—Christianity. I. Title.
BV4909.V74 2001
248.8′6—dc21 2001003318
v3.1
To my father,
Charles S. Walker,
who has skillfully let go of significant
disappointments and painful losses in his life.
Thank you for faithfully hanging on to God and
wisely investing the gifts and talents God has given you.
I want to follow in your footsteps.
ONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
BILL JENSEN, YOU ARE A VISIONARY WITH A SIXTH SENSE
about the publishing world. Thank you for inviting me to do the Letting Go series. I continue to be a bit baffled by your confidence in me. But it keeps me humbly on my knees, asking God to show me what He wants to say through this less-than-perfect vessel.
Holly Halverson, you have bolstered me in the editing process with your encouraging feedback and sharp mind on task. Thank you for your excellent questions, which have caused me to clarify my message and carefully consider my word choice. It is a delight to team with you.
Judith St. Pierre, I appreciate your structural precision and ability to skim the dross off of my manuscript. You know how to bring the gold to the surface and make a writer look good.
I’d also like to say a special thanks to David Webb for adding your refining touches to this book at a time when you were buried with many other projects. I appreciate the sacrifices you made on my behalf.
Don and Brenda Jacobson, I see God’s hand on you, and it is a great privilege to partner with you for the kingdom. You facilitate the penetration of God’s light into darkness. Thank you for counting the cost, paying the price, and persevering. I believe that what God has ahead for you is absolutely going to blow your mind.
John, Jessie, Ben, and Nathan, you have taught me many lessons about holding things loosely and letting go. Thank you for your love and support as I’ve pecked away at the keyboard through the years. Your enthusiasm for my books puts a smile on my face.
INTRODUCTIONWHY CAN’T
I
L
ET GO?
IN MY COUNSELING OFFICE AND DURING MY TRAVELS AS A
speaker, I frequently hear these kinds of questions from men and women:
“How can I let go of my disappointment?”
“How do I move on after the death of my dream?”
“How will I ever experience joy after the loss I’ve suffered?”
“How can I let go of the life I thought was mine and receive the best God has to give?”
These souls genuinely long for rock-solid answers in the midst of the disappointing and harsh realities of their lives.
During the last several years, I’ve asked more than one thousand people this question: What are you finding difficult to let go of at this time in your life? Here’s what many of them said:
I am finding it hard to let go of …
… a friendship that went sour.
… a job I loved and lost to corporate change.
… my teenager who has gone astray.
… my shameful past.
… my spouse of fifty-two years.
… my reputation after I made a terrible mistake.
… my childhood dreams, which aren’t realistic anymore.
… my son/daughter who recently married and moved away.
… my stillborn baby.
… my keepsakes that were lost in a fire.
… my expectations that things would turn out the way I wanted.
… my health.