Shattered Dreams (15 page)

“
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to
pry.” 

“
Thank you, I don’t think
you are prying.” 

Once they leave, James and I freeze the ten
candy bars that we don’t actually need. I like frozen candy bars
and in Florida, chocolate needs to be frozen or it melts quickly.
Plus, if it’s in the freezer, I may forget about
it.  

After James is done with his writing, I ask,
“Bath or shower?” 

“
Shower,
please.” 

Later, I tuck James in bed and he says his
prayers. I kneel down beside him on his bed and ruffle his blond
hair. I say, “I love you to the moon and back.” James
smiles. 

He says, “I love you all the way to the
brightest star and back.” I also smile. 

“
I love you to Mars,
Jupiter, and Pluto and back.” James laughs. 

I smile, “Wow, that much?” 

“
Yep, and
more.” 

I lean in and kiss James on his lips. “I love
you so much, good night and sweet dreams.” 

“
Sweet dreams,
momma.” 

Alec
 

“
Daddy, can we go home? I’m
tired.” 

“
Yes, Raelynn. I’m tired,
too. You sold almost all of your candy bars
today.” 

“
Yep, that lady was nice.
She bought most of them.” 

“
Yes, Raelynn, she was very
nice.” 

On the drive home I think of
how stupid I was to ask if the military flag belonged to her
father.
I should have just kept my mouth
shut.
Smooth,
Alec. 
 

After Raelynn’s bath, I kneel with her by her
bed as she says her prayers. I tuck her into her bed and kiss and
hug her. “Daddy has work tomorrow, so grandma will be picking you
up from school.” 

“
Ok, daddy. I love you,
bunches.” 

“
Rae, I love you bunches,
too. Sweet dreams, and I’ll see you in the
morning.” 

I tuck Raelynn into bed, shower, and drink a
beer while sitting on the lanai. I think I’m still in shock about
running into Emma tonight while selling candy bars. Learning that
her husband is deceased was the bigger shock. 

I finish my beer and head to bed. I look at
the picture on the nightstand of Molly and me on our wedding day. I
pick it up and stare at it. Not a day goes by that I don’t think
about her. We named Raelynn after my middle name, Ray, and after
Molly’s middle name, Lynn. Molly wanted a son, but I was thrilled
to have a daughter. I gently place the picture of me and Molly back
on the nightstand. This was taken definitely during happier
times.  

Raelynn and I do taekwondo together two
nights a week. I am a black belt and Raelynn is a purple belt. I
teach the beginners class during Rae’s training times, and during
my training times Raelynn practices.  

Taekwondo is characterized by its emphasis on
head-height kicks, jumping and spinning kicks, and fast kicking
techniques. It’s an excellent form of exercise and is great for
self-defense. We have many women in the class who take it strictly
for self-defense.  

Fighting, however, is a last resort. When
being mugged, the best thing to do is usually to simply hand over
your wallet or purse. Only when physically attacked would someone
fight.  

“
Kick, kick, punch, spin,
kick, kick, punch, spin. Good job. Again?” 

Raelynn adjusts her protective gear and takes
her stance. “Ready?” I wait for her to nod before yelling out
commands. 

“
Kick, kick, kick, kick,
punch, duck, kick, kick, kick, kick,” I say as I back up a little
each time after her kicks. “Great job.” I see a few people up at
the front desk checking in.
Good, some new
students.
“All right, kiddo, go get a drink
and get ready for your class.” 

“
Ok, daddy.” Raelynn bows to
me before skipping off the matt.  

Bowing shows respect, and we
teach our students how to bow to their teacher before and after
each class. We also teach students to bow when they ask for or
receive help from a person who has a higher rank than the
student.
 
 

I am happy to see some
returning students and happy to see some new faces. I teach the
class with another black belt instructor. I see James is standing
in the front row with two other boys. I speak to him briefly, and
he tells me these are his friends. I bow and introduce myself to
them all. I look out through the glass wall and see Emma and
another woman standing there watching. I nod and smile before
focusing my attention on the boys. After talking to the boys,
Braden and Briley, I learn they are new here but they are not
beginners to taekwondo. I find the class they need to be in and
return to the beginners class. First we teach respect, and the
proper way to bow and when you should bow. We begin class with some
light stretches and exercise to loosen up the muscles
and we run around the room twice. We teach high
kicks and spin turns. The hour-long class usually goes by quickly.
All new students are yellow belts and move up rank fairly quickly,
at least in the beginning.  

The other instructor and I bow and class is
dismissed. I watch the kids run across the mat and join their
waiting parents on the other side of the glass wall. Once I see
everyone is with their families, I look to see how Raelynn did in
her class. I tell her James came with two of his friends. She is
excited and skips off the mat to see if they are still
here. 

I grab a towel and a bottle of water and when
I turn around I see Emma, her friend, and the boys talking to
Raelynn. I smile and drink the water before walking over to them. I
smile when Emma looks up, and I listen to Raelynn explain the
correct way to kick. The boys are full of excitement and
energy. 

“
Alec, this is my friend
Brooke, and Brooke, this is Alec. I’m sorry, I don’t know your last
name.”  

I reach my hand out for
Brooke, “Collins,
Dr.
Alec Collins, it’s nice to meet you. So these two boys are
yours, I take it?” 

“
It’s nice to meet you, and
they are. This is Braden and his younger brother, Briley. We are
new to Florida, and we were excited when Emma said there was a
taekwondo class nearby. I didn’t want the boys to be away from it
very long.” 

“
Good, it worked out
perfectly. So glad to have you here.” 

“
Thank
you.” 

“
James, did you like class
today?” 

“
I did, thank
you.” 

“
Emma and Brooke, we also
have adults who take the class if you want to consider signing up.
It’s a great form of exercise and self-defense.” 

“
I think I’ll stick to my
afternoon yoga; thank you anyway,” Brooke says,
smiling.  

“
Rae, are you
ready?” 

“
Yes,
daddy.” 

“
Go get your things and come
right back.” I watch Raelynn skip to the back room where her book
bag and school clothes are kept. We come here right after school so
she changes here for her class. “Emma and James, it’s good seeing
you again and Brooke, Braden, and Briley, it’s nice meeting you.
Wow, that’s a mouthful.”  

Brooke laughs, “Yeah, their dad’s name’s
Brice. Try saying ‘Brice, Brooke, Braden, and Briley’ three times
really fast.” 

We all laugh and Raelynn comes skipping back.
“Ready, daddy.” 

We all walk out the door together and head to
our separate cars, “We’ll see you guys on Friday, and Emma, I think
you should consider taking the class.” 

Emma smiles and opens the backdoor of her car
for James. “I’ll think about it; thank you so much. James had a
great time.” 

“
My pleasure, good
night.” 

“
Good night,” Brooke and
Emma say in unison. 

Emma

“
Emma, you should take that
class with James,” Brooke says, seriously.  

“
I am not taking a taekwondo
class. James needs this time alone, away from me.” 

“
It would be good for
you.” 

“
And for you,” I
add. 

“
I’m sticking to my yoga.
He’s hot; if I were single, I’d be all over that.” 

“
Stop it, I’m sticking to my
no-workout plan; not working out has been working out just fine
this long and I’m not about to change it now.” 

After school, I offer to
take all the boys to their taekwondo class. I pick up fast food,
which I loathe (of course, I eat
pizza, and
tacos, and gyros, and hamburgers, and subs, and burritos —
actually, I love fast food),
but they love
it, and they eat it on the way.
Better meal
planning tonight would have resulted in a healthier meal. I’ll put
that to memory. I am debating on signing up for the beginners
class. I didn’t want to tell Brooke for fear of what she would say.
Self-defense is a good reason to take it.  

“
James, do you like
taekwondo?” 

“
Yes, momma, it’s
fun.” 

“
Would you mind if I took
it, too?” 

“
You want to be a ninja,
too?” he asks excitedly and I laugh. 

“
No, no ninja. It will be
good exercise for momma.” 

Braden says, “James, your mom will be a
ninja, too.” 

I sign up for the class and change into
clothing appropriate for the class. The uniform is included with
the sign-up fee. 

Alec sees us and walks over with a smile. “I
see you changed your mind.”  

“
Yes, I did. My son wants me
to be a ninja, too.” 

“
The Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles kind?” 

“
Yes, those are the ones.” I
smile.  

I am relieved that they have a separate adult
beginners class. 

After the class I am surprised at how much I
liked it although I know that I will be sore tomorrow. I finish
before the boys and wait in the spectators’ room. I try to watch
both classes at the same time. James is very serious and Alec
spends a great deal of time with him. Raelynn comes up to me and
also watches. When they are done, Alec and James both bow and James
runs off the mat to where we are standing.  

“
Wow, James, you are getting
good at those kicks,” Raelynn says,
excitedly.  

“
Thank you and I can kick
high, too.” 

Braden and Briley join us
next.  

“
How was it today,
boys?” 

“
Good,” Braden
answers.  

“
Their instructor said
they’ll advance next week,” Raelynn adds. 

Alec walks up and smiles. “How was it,
Emma?” 

“
Better than I expected and
I have no idea how I’ll walk tomorrow,” I say, rubbing my hands up
and down my thighs. “Those kicks are no joke.” 

“
No pain, no gain,” Alec
smiles. “How was it for you two, Braden and
Briley?” 

“
Good, it didn’t hurt
us.” 

Alec looks at Raelynn, “Congratulations, Rae,
I watched you advance today. Very impressive.” 

“
Thank you,
daddy.” 

I bend down and touch her purple belt and
look at the black stripe that has been added to her belt.
“Congratulations, Raelynn.” 

“
Thank you, Miss
Emma.” 

“
Get your things from the
back, Rae.” 

“
Ok,
daddy.” 

“
James, you did very well
today.” 

“
Thank you,
sir.” 

Raelynn skips back towards us carrying her
book bag 

“
Ready to go,
Raelynn?” 

“
All ready,
daddy.” 

Alec holds the door open and we all walk out
together. He is parked beside us in the parking lot, He waits until
I buckle all the kids in before he gets into his truck. “Good
night, Emma.” 

“
Good night,
Alec.” 

On Saturday, Brooke’s boys
spend the night and we decorate the house and yard for Halloween.
We bake mini apple pies and play board games and have hot apple
cider. The boys fall to sleep in the living room on the floor while
watching cartoons. After I tidy the house, I go to bed and
read
Storms of Winter
by D.B. Jones. 

“
Em, Emma, wake
up?”
 

I blink a few times and
smile. Max is lying beside me on the bed. He smiles; his clear blue
eyes are beautiful. “You’re here?”
 

“
I am, I have missed you,”
he says, leaning over to kiss the tip of my nose. He gently
caresses my earlobe like he always does. “I love you so
much.”
 

I lean into his hand. “I
love you and I have missed you.”
 

“
I am so proud of you. You
are a fighter, just like I knew you were.”
 

“
It’s hard, I want you here
with me, to help me. I have no idea what I’m
doing.”
 

“
Oh, Em, you are doing
great. Happy anniversary,” he says as he gently kisses
me.
 

I smile, “Happy anniversary
to you, too.”
 

“
Please, tell James how
much I love him.”