Shadow of the Horsemen (Kalie's Journey) (16 page)

“We could go west, Kalie. We could go and live with your people.”

“What?”

“Would they accept me? And Yarik? If you spoke for us…that is, if you’d be willing to?”

Kalie shook her head, trying to stop the buzzing in her ears. “Yes, of course they’d accept you, whether I spoke for you or not. Or, at least they would have a few seasons ago. Now, perhaps, I would have to speak for you…”

“But would you?” Riyik seemed so earnest he looked like a boy.

“Yes, of course I would. But why would you want to?”

“Because…my people are not who I once thought they were. And I am not the man I once was.”

“Because of me?” Oh, Goddess, that was all she needed! Riyik as a hero out of one the women’s so-called “romantic” tales, where the man gave up everything he had for love of a woman. Their stories always ended before the man grew bored, and woke up to the reality of what he’d lost, then had to kill the woman to regain his honor, although some of the men’s stories included that part.

But Riyik surprised her again.

“I cannot serve a weak and selfish king! A king who cares nothing for the good of his people! Who cannot think for himself—and lacks the wit to even see there’s something wrong with that! And…” Riyik’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I cannot serve the man who rules my king…who I suspect murdered the true king to gain power.”

“So you know that Haraak poisoned Ahnaak? And murdered Kariik’s brothers as well?”

Riyik’s head shot up, then he sighed. “I don’t know why I’m surprised you know such things. Perhaps I’m just the last to know. No, no, that cannot be! They don’t see…or they don’t want to see…”

“I thought such things were common among your people.” Kalie was truly puzzled. “Is that not the usual path to power? Killing and taking…?”

“In battle perhaps! But not…this! Not the slaying of the king one has given his oath to! I see Haraak leading my people to ruin, and not a warrior among my so-called ‘brothers’ with enough sense or honor to stop him.”

Kalie considered what she knew about these men and their beliefs. “But doesn’t honor demand that you stay and fight it? By yourself, if necessary?”

Riyik raked his hands through his deep brown hair and gazed at Kalie with troubled eyes. “Yes, it does. But I don’t want it badly enough anymore. Not when there exists another world where I might regain my honor in new ways; where my son might grow up whole, as he could never do here.”

For the first time, Kalie realized just how long Riyik had been thinking about what life for his son would be in this place. But who would have thought that a beastman could care so much about his child? Or be capable of seeing a different path for his future? For both their futures?

Sadly, Kalie shook her head. “I’m sorry Riyik, but the life you dream of is not possible. Not yet, anyway.”

Stunned, Riyik could only gape at her.

“Haraak’s ambitions range much farther than simply ruling this tribe through a puppet king. He means to forge a federation of tribes, and conquer my homeland. Not just raid it and return here. He means to take all your people, and all your ways, far to the west, and set himself up as king. If we left tomorrow, you would have at most one year to live your new life, and see Yarik grow whole and accepted. Then your people will come. And you would die along with all the others.”

“You know this for a fact?”

Kalie hesitated, unsure how far she could trust him. The fact that you can think of trust and one of them in the same sentence should tell you you’ve already lost what little sense you had, Kalie berated herself.

“I have heard whispers. And I believe they are true.”

Riyik smiled with relief. “Indeed you miss nothing, Kalie! But I have heard these whispers as well. More than that, I have watched it play out among the warriors, and those knaves from among the Wolf and even the Hansi, who Haraak thinks will do his bidding. But rest easy: for as long as the tribes have existed, in every generation a man arises who thinks he can create a federation of tribes and conquer all the lands to the ends of the earth. Nothing ever comes of it. Haraak’s federation will collapse just like all the others.”

Kalie was thrilled with Riyik’s words, but not for the reasons she knew he hoped. This was the first sign she had received that her hopes might actually have some basis in reality! If alliances broke apart so easily, as she had long supposed, there was a chance she could make this one fall apart as well! The weaknesses, the tools, were already there.

But what could she say to Riyik now?

“You’re afraid to trust me, aren’t you?” Riyik asked.

“You read me too well,” she replied. “Very little has been asked of my mind in this place. Now, suddenly, there is much to think about. I can tell you that I am grateful for all you’ve done, Riyik. And all you’re willing to give up. If I could trust anyone in this land, it would be you.” And she realized as she said it that she spoke the truth.

She took a pull from the water skin and continued. “Even if Haraak’s federation collapses, my people will not be safe. There will be raids—not just your tribe, but all who hear of the easy wealth to be had in the west. There will be those, considered weak and unimportant here, who will find that a rich land, whose people know nothing of fighting, offers them place to settle and grow strong—after they’ve killed or enslaved all of its inhabitants. Then, they will find they must defend their stolen land against those who will come later, in greater numbers.”

“All the more reason for us to leave now!” Riyik insisted. “With enough horses, and even one seasoned warrior, we can teach your people to defend themselves when this invasion you fear comes! If I am right, we will have many seasons to prepare, but if you are right, we have little time. Either way, we should leave at once!”

“Can you do that?” Kalie asked, truly curious. “Just take your horses and flocks and just…leave? Without permission from your king?”

Riyik looked away. “It is true, I must have permission from my king—and my chief as well. But Kariik knows what I think of Haraak’s schemes, and may well be happy to see me go. If not…the people of Aahk prize honor above all, but we cherish freedom as well.” At Kalie’s strangled laughter, he smiled wryly. “Perhaps I never saw the hypocrisy in that before, but if it gives us a chance to leave here without fighting our way out, I’ll take it!”

“Varena, too?”

“I may take whatever belongs to me. Women, children, slaves, horses. The one necessity I might have to leave behind would be my flocks, or at least most of them. But a few sheep will feed us until we reach your land.” His gaze grew hard. “But I could not take Brenia from her lawful husband. And I can’t just leave her…” His voice trailed off.

“Could you convince her to take Barak and come with us in secret?”

“Then we would risk pursuit. Hysaak and all who consider themselves his spear brothers would be required to hunt down his wife and son, and kill whoever stole them from him.”

They sat in silence, mulling that over. Kalie wanted Brenia with her when she left. But she knew her proper and dignified friend would never endanger those she loved by going along with such a scheme.

“Of course, if Hysaak were to die, Brenia could return to her family.”

“Which would be you. Excellent. But, wouldn’t she be expected to follow her husband into the next life?”

“Expected, yes. But no one would give chase if she went with her brother instead. Especially since Hysaak has shamed her before all eyes by flaunting his preference for his new wife.”

“Then perhaps the honor of accompanying her husband to the next life should fall to her,” Kalie said with a breezy smile. Privately, though, she was in awe of the thought Riyik had put into this, and the lengths to which he was willing to go. And the most amazing thing was that it could possibly work. With Riyik and Varena and Brenia—and perhaps a few others whom she might persuade Riyik to buy and bring with them—she would finally have what she needed to make her people see what kind of threat they faced. With horses, and an experienced teacher of the ways of war, they might—given enough time—learn to defend themselves.

“Kalie?” So gently, Riyik took her hand, and gazed into her eyes. “What say you? Might it work? Could you consider a life with me, in your own home, on your own terms?”

A voice inside Kalie shouted for her to say yes. You’ve suffered enough, it told her. Leave this waking nightmare and go home with the one man who might someday teach you how to love again! Show your daughter what joy a woman’s life can be. Let go of the arrogance that makes you think you alone can save your people, and give them some say in the matter! And if they fail to act wisely—again—take your family all the way west to Hot Springs, where the beastmen will not reach for many years!

 
Then, even more loudly, another voice demanded her attention. Stay here for just awhile longer it urged her. Marry Riyik according to the customs of his people, and use him as he and his people have used you. Learn every weakness they have, destroy these tribes so thoroughly that a thousand seasons must pass before they are strong enough to again threaten the People of the Goddess. And if Riyik still wants you then…let him come with you.

Riyik was still waiting for an answer. Kalie opened her mouth to stall for time. “I can’t leave yet,” she heard herself say. “I can’t leave until I have destroyed your people’s ability to wage war, killed Haraak, and freed every woman and girl who are willing to be free. Then, if you still want to, we can try to make a life together.”

Kalie didn’t realize what she had said until she saw the dawning comprehension in Riyik’s face. Oh, brilliant! Shouted an angry voice inside. It’s a fine plan—but you weren’t supposed to tell it to the enemy!

But Riyik wasn’t her enemy, and as dangerous—as foolhardy—as it seemed, Kalie knew she had to be honest with him. Otherwise, I’m just like them! She told the voices.

Still, even Kalie wasn’t prepared for what came next.

“That has been your plan since the beginning.” Riyik was nodding slowly to himself, not looking at Kalie. “That was how you came to be part of the tribute.”

“Yes,” Kalie said simply.

“The scars on your back. You lived among one of the tribes before, didn’t you?”

Kalie nodded. “Eight summers ago, I had a thirst for adventure; a common enough thing among my people. Or at least it used to be. I joined a band of merchants who were heading east into the grasslands. Little was known of that part of the world. I suppose that made it more exciting to us.”

Riyik looked ill. “You were captured? And your master returned you to your people?”

Kalie gave him a withering glare. “Of course he didn’t return me! I escaped!”

“Escaped? By yourself?” Riyik asked, as if he had never heard of such a thing. Then again, Kalie thought, he probably hadn’t. “How?”

“I’m afraid I still don’t know the answer to that. The Goddess, in Her Mercy, took my memories. I was found,
half starved
and raving, at the edge of the grasslands. The Healers who cared for me eventually brought back some of my memory. A bitter kindness that turned out to be, for no one believed me when I told them what happened, and no one did anything to prepare for the invasion that I knew would come.”

“So you took the battle to your enemy? Alone? Without so much as a dagger?”

Kalie smiled. “I didn’t plan on it at the time. In fact, for seven years, I ran in the opposite direction. I kept heading west. But it didn’t help. I was…broken. And nothing anyone could do seemed likely to fix me.”

“Why not? Your people don’t seem the kind to hold with our notions that a woman is dishonored if she’s…er…no longer a virgin. You said they tried to help.”

“Yes, they tried very hard to help. And, no, of course they didn’t blame me for being raped. But the fact of it made most of them very uncomfortable. Try to understand, Riyik, no one among my people knew what rape was.” Kalie sighed. “Perhaps you can’t imagine something like that.”

“I can. But not easily.” He seemed about to say more, then shook his head and waited for Kalie to continue.

“I couldn’t function. When I slept, I woke up screaming from nightmares. I spent every waking hour haunted by fear: fear it would happen again, fear it was still happening, sometimes fear of my own shadow. Physical joining became impossible.”

At Riyik’s confused look, she tried to explain. “Among my people, the physical joining of a man and a woman is meant to be a joyous thing for both parties; almost an act of worship. It can’t happen unless both parties want it. When I tried to take up my old life, that was a part of it. But there was no longer any joy in it for me. All it did was bring back horrid memories. My partners were…uncomfortable, to say the least. Some of them tried to help, but all I could do was run.

“I learned I could not have children. The damage done to body during the rapes—or perhaps during my escape—was too great. I settled in a mountain town with a temple famous for Healing, and decided to remain.”

“And then we came.” It was not a question.

“And then you came. I was sent for.” Kalie looked at the horses. “If we’d had horses, I think I could have made the journey to Riverford in just a few days, and you would not have remained prisoners so long.”

Riyik smiled sadly. “Then I would not have had time to learn to carve. I would not have seen enough of your world to know such wonders truly existed.”

The play of emotions across Riyik’s face had been growing easier to read as he spoke. She should not have been surprised that his first words had nothing to do with her plans or his duty, or the gulf that now separated them. “I had suspected you could not have children. It did not matter to me. It still doesn’t. Except that now I know the reason. I am deeply sorry…no…I am ashamed that it was my people who did that to you.”

“Truly? Even if it wasn’t Aahken warriors who did it.”

“As you once said, we practice the same customs. What was done to you has doubtless happened to many women in this camp. How I ever believed there to be honor it…”

“What will you do now?”

“I find myself in a rather difficult situation,” he said.

“I’d say that’s an understatement,” she said.

“When I became a warrior, I swore an oath to be loyal unto death to my king and to my spear brothers. Haraak is my spear brother, but he has murdered my king. Kariik may be my king, but he got that way through tainted means, and is unfit to rule. That both must die seems clear.”

“Both? What if Kariik knew nothing of the murders?”

Riyik looked at her curiously. “How else do you expect him to give up the kingship? We just ask him to step down?”

“Oh, of course,” said Kalie with a bark of laughter. “I forgot where I was. I don’t suppose there are many options for a former king.”

“I don’t even think we have a word for it.” Riyik sighed. “But at least for that part, we want the same things. Am I right?”

“About Haraak yes. Preferably, in a way that destroys any trust he has built among the other tribes.” A glimmer of an idea teased her, but was gone before she could grasp it. “As for Kariik…a weak king might well suit my purposes, but not yours. Ahnaak left no other sons. Who will be king after Kariik?”

“If his son was older, perhaps he.”

“Son?” Then she remembered. Maylene’s child.

“Now there’s a solution that might have worked for both of us. A king with the blood of both our people!” Riyik shook his head sadly. “But he’s still a baby, and whatever is to happen will happen soon. Most likely, each of the chiefs, or one whom they support, will fight. The winner will be the new king.”

“If only they could keep fighting until all were dead!” At Riyik’s expression, Kalie dampened her enthusiasm. “Er, sorry. It’s just that, with a system like that, there’s no way to influence the outcome.”

“That’s why we use it. When someone can influence the outcome, we get men like Haraak.”

Kalie shook her head. “I’m sorry, Riyik. I just don’t see any way we can work together on this. We both have duties to our own people. Yours may demand that you kill Haraak to avenge your king, even that you kill Kariik for the common good, but after that, you must continue to raid and fight—and kill your tribe’s enemies. Even if that enemy is the woman you want to marry.”

Riyik took her hand and squeezed it, stopping just when it became painful. He looked into her eyes. “A warrior risks death for his people, but rarely more than that. You have come unarmed into the camp of your enemy and endured degradation, hunger and abuse on the nearly impossible chance that you can single handedly save your people. You are a nobler warrior than any I have ever heard of. I will never kill you Kalie, but I swear that I long as live, I will kill anyone who tries to.”

“Riyik, please, don’t make such a promise!”

The hardness was gone from his eyes. “It’s too late,” he said mildly. “I have sworn an oath, and unlike other men here, for me it is binding.”

 
“But what can I promise you that will not violate my oath to save my people?”

Riyik thought hard. At last he said, “Promise that when the threat my people pose to yours has been destroyed, you will take Yarik, and as many of my tribe who prove worthy—whether they be men or women—back to your home, to live by your ways.”

Kalie’s breath caught in her throat. She knew it was no accident that Riyik had not included himself in this new future. “How will I know who is worthy? Only you can judge that, Riyik. And to do that, you must live.”

“I would like to Kalie. I would like to build a life with you. I would like to see what kind of place we could create blending the best of both our worlds.”

“You just swore to protect me! You can’t do that if you’re dead!”

“Then we must pray for a miracle. But in my world, a man who slays his brothers has no future. And a man who slays his king must die.”

“Even if he is a false king who deserves to die?”

“That doesn’t matter—“

“Maybe not in your world, but in my world it does. And you told me yourself you want to live there! So do what you must here and come with me!” The voice Kalie was learning to hate was back, telling her to stop arguing and accept Riyik’s sacrifice. Everything she had worked for was finally going to happen!

All she had to do, the voice told her, was let Riyik die for her.

Kalie struck at that voice so hard it hurt.

When she could see again, Kalie realized she had the answer.

“There is a story I heard once during the winter,” she said. “About a warrior, who, on the eve of battle came across a man of his own tribe in a secret meeting with an enemy warrior—“

Riyik nodded. “The Tale of Amon. Yes. He caught a traitor showing the enemy where they might set up an ambush, and thus win the day. All to win the daughter of the enemy king.”

“Yes, there’s always a woman involved. But when Amon slew them both, who did he discover the traitor to be?”

“His own brother. And when the battle began, he flew into a frenzy and sought his own death at the hands of the enemy, for not only had he slain his own brother, he now knew that the blood of a traitor flowed through his own veins as well. And since their father was dead, and neither had any sons, their tainted line would be ended once and for all.”

“But the gods intervened, and kept him from dying. And when the battle was won, Amon emerged as the greatest hero of all. And when the men sang his name, and the king offered him riches, he chose instead to leave, vowing to return whenever his people were in peril.”

Riyik’s dark gaze pieced Kalie’s. “And is that how you see me?”

She smiled. “Perhaps. I think you should at least consider that following your conscience doesn’t have to lead to your death.”

“Did you come here expecting to return alive, Kalie?”

She tried to look away so she could lie, but Riyik would not let her. “No,” she said at last.

“Do you see me as having less honor than you yourself possess?”

“No,” she said, more certain of herself this time. “But now I find I very much want to live. So let us devise a plan in which honor is served, villains are punished, good people are saved, and a future exists for you and I.”

The beginnings of a smile pulled at Riyik’s mouth. “You know you’re insane, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Quite against her will, an answering smile was playing on Kalie’s. Suddenly serious, she asked Riyik for his dagger. He gave it to her without a word. “Blood is sacred to both our peoples, although we use it differently.” She drew the blade across the palm of her hand, staring at the blood that welled up as if it belonged to someone else. Then she felt the sting, and knew it was really herself doing this. “So let us make a pact as warriors do.”

Riyik nodded and took the knife, mirroring Kalie’s gesture in his own flesh. He placed his bleeding palm against hers, an act she knew he had performed before, though never with a woman.

“We are one,” Riyik said solemnly. “In life and death; in all we do, we are one.”

If Riyik found it strange that he was swearing a sacred oath between brothers with the woman he intended to marry, he gave no sign of it.

And if Kalie found it strange to swear an oath in the manner of the people she had come to destroy, or bind her life and soul with a man she loved but had no intention of sleeping with, she was equally silent.

They rode back to camp lost in thought.