They would lay there, watching the children sleep and perhaps even snoozing themselves. Or perhaps they would get up quietly and sneak down to the riverbank, he mused. They would slip out of their clothes, and slide into the cool water in each other's arms. He would let himself float back into the current, and pulled her lissome body across his. She'd cling to him, her legs tangling with his and they would come together for a kiss.
He could imagine the slippery feel of her skin, how her hair would float out behind her in the water, drifting downstream. Then he would wrap both arms around him, pulling her tight against his body. She would slide her legs around his waist. His hard length would be pressed tightly between them, and he'd kiss her again…
He had grown hard thinking about it. Moving quietly, he rolled back on to his stomach on the blanket to hide the evidence of his arousal, and stole a peek at Sarai and the children.
All three were sleeping peacefully.
Closing his eyes again, he allowed himself to drift back into the fantasy.
She would clutch his body to hers, laughing softly, and then he'd slide his hard length into her body. They would rock against each other slowly in the water, letting their bodies become one and enjoying the closeness of their touch. He would make only the barest of movements at first, content to revel in the feel of her snug warmth. Then they'd start to move more quickly, squirming against each other urgently. He'd thrust into her harder, their mouths would meet. Their lovemaking would become wild, building to a climax that was as inevitable as it was powerful.
Jax squirmed against the blanket, trying to find a more comfortable position. His cock was like stone. He took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He hadn't intended to allow himself to become aroused this way, but the thought of touching Sarai, making love to her in the water was too much. Staying away from her had turned out to be much harder than he'd dreamed possible, and he hadn't gone into it expecting it to be easy.
Another soft noise caught his attention. She was getting up. Both children were still breathing deeply, but she had stood up. Then he heard the soft padding of her feet as she walked away. Where was she going?
Jax opened his eyes, and silently propped himself up on his elbow. He craned his head around, and saw her graceful form walking back toward the riverbank. She was still wearing her white shift, but it was dry now, and it drifting around her body in a manner that was almost surreal. She looked more forest spirit than woman. The image was broken, though, when one corner caught on a branch. She tugged at it, and the worn fabric ripped.
A look of disgust came across her face.
For the first time, Jax realized he'd never seen her wearing more than three or four sets of clothing. Was that all she could afford? The children were always well dressed…He'd assumed that she was doing all right, but he didn't know for sure. He'd have to look into that, he realized. Making a mental note of it, he turned his attention back to Sarai.
Free of the branch, she walked to the river's edge and sat down. He could hardly see her now. He stood quietly, taking care not to wake the children, and reached over to tab on a motion sensor in his pack. If anything larger than a bird came close to Able and Mali as they slept, he and Sarai would know. Then he started walking toward her. She turned to look at him as he approached, and then a smile so lovely it took his breath away came across her face.
"Jax," she said softly. "Come sit by me."
He lowered himself to the beach, stretching his legs out before him. The water lapped at his toes, cool and fresh. She leaned over and kissed his bare shoulder.
"Jax, this is silly," she said. "I'm so sorry for what I said to you. I can't think of anything but how much I miss touching you. Why do we have to do this?"
Her words twisted through him, sweet seduction. He was rock hard for her, filled with a heavy ache of need that had become his constant companion. How easy would it be to simply roll her under him, take her there on the sand? She wanted him; he wanted her. They were both adults. It should be so simple.
"No," he said, pushing down the treacherous thought. "I want more than sex, Sarai.
Don't mistake me, I want sex, too. But I want to be a part of your life, and I want to be a father to the children. Hell, I want to have more children with you. I'm not willing to settle for less than that."
She stared into the water for a moment, moisture welling in her eyes. She gave her face and impatient swipe.
"Jax, you know what happened to my first husband, don't you?"
"Yes," Jax said. "Seth told me, and he told me why, too. You killed him in self-defense. You did it to save your children, and you did the right thing, Sarai. I only wish I could have killed him for you."
"But you don't know the whole story, Jax," she said softly. "I enjoyed killing him. I'll never forget the incredible rush that killing him gave me. I felt so free, so powerful! It was disgusting and exhilarating all at once, and I made myself a promise. I decided I'd never let myself get into a situation where a man controlled me again. I never want to face another choice like that."
A wave of compassion swept through him, and he pulled her into his arms. She was crying in earnest now. He pressed her head against his shoulder, and she started sobbing.
She cried for a long time, and he simply held her, marveling at her strength. Despite everything she'd gone through, she still managed to hold herself and her life together.
Eventually her sobs quieted down, and she rested against him. He spoke.
"I've told you that on Saurellia only one in five children are female," he said. "We have a legend about that…according to legend, when the Goddess created the world, she made men and women equally strong. But within the first few generations, she discovered that even though men and women had the same strength, the women's lives were so much harder that it wasn't fair. Not only that, society started falling apart. There were wars and famine. Children starved in the streets, and it was an abomination before the Goddess.
"So she started making fewer women, but making them stronger," he continued. "Now there are more men then women, but our women are so strong that they hold our society together. Any Saurellian man lucky enough to be found worthy to be mated to one of those women is blessed a thousand times by the Goddess. Their relationship can be more wonderful than anything in the imagination, but it will never be unequal. There isn't a Saurellian man alive who can control his lifemate. Our society is matriarchal."
She looked up at him, blinking her eyes.
"What does that have to do with us? I'm not Saurellian, Jax. I'm not that strong."
"Sarai, you are that strong," he whispered, lifting his hand and wiping away one of her tears with his thumb. "Don't you understand? You may not have been born a Saurellian, but you are definitely a daughter of the Goddess. I don't want to control you. I want to be your lifemate, your partner. What makes you happy makes me happy. We belong together, and what Calvin did to you has nothing to do with us. He's dead. He can't hurt you, and I won't.
You're safe now. You've made it."
She sniffed, and smiled at him tremulously.
"I did, didn't I?" she whispered. "Jax, I don't feel very strong. I don't know this Goddess of yours very well, but I could use some of that strength you talk about."
"It's there, Sarai," he said. Unable to help himself, he leaned his head down and kissed her softly on the lips. Her head fell back and her eyes closed, then she was opening to him.
He deepened the kiss, exploring her depths and trying to control himself. He wanted her so badly he thought he might explode, but somehow he managed to keep himself from simply rolling her over and taking her. Finally, shaking from the effort, he pulled away.
"Sarai, will you be my lifemate?" he asked softly, searching her face. She froze for a minute, as if waging some battle within herself, then she spoke.
"I'll be your mate, but on my terms. I don't promise to do as you tell me, and if I ever feel like I need to leave you, I will."
"That's good enough for me," he said, smiling. She looked up at him in surprise.
"So I can leave you any time I want?" she asked.
"If I'm doing my job as a lifemate, you won't want to leave me," he replied quietly. She sniffed, then gave him a coy smile.
"Well, then I guess you'd better keep me happy," she said tartly.
"That's my girl," he said, abruptly rolling her over into the sand and covering her with his body. She was trapped beneath, a startled look on her face. He kissed her, and her arms came around him. She pulled him close, kissing him back. Then her legs were wrapped around his body, and she was writhing against him. He groaned, pressing his cock against her softness.
"It's been too long," he muttered, pulling his head back. She laughed up at him.
"Silly, it's been less than a day," she replied.
"Too long," he repeated, covering her again. He thought he was going to explode from the exquisite pressure of her body pressing up against his. Her hips moved rhythmically, and he groaned. He had to get inside her. If he didn't, he was going to die.
Her other leg came up, and they both clutched his waist. The soft opening between her legs cradled him, and without thinking he thrust against her. But his briefs and her shift blocked his motion, and he groaned in frustration.
"I hate this damn thing," he said, raising his body and pulling her shift up. "Sarai, I'm getting you all new clothing. I never want to see this thing again. It's caused me too much frustration over the past weeks."
She laughed up at him, then reached down to work on his briefs.
"And what about these?" she asked archly. "They seem to be in my way right now. Do I get to throw them away, too?"
"Yes," Jax replied with a grin. "I'll never wear clothing again. We'll just live naked in your bed, happily ever after."
Then her shift was up around her waist, and his briefs were down around his knees.
With a sigh, he reached down to position himself against her. She wrapped her arms around his neck again, pulling him down into her softness. The feel of her hot, moist flesh closing around him was almost more than he could take, and after his initial thrust he stopped for a moment. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing deeply and trying to control himself.
She squirmed against him, kneading him with her inner muscles and pulling him down into her body with her legs. He kissed her, then started moving slowly.
Neither spoke as he thrust into her, his strokes hard and steady. There was a purpose, a tension in their mating that he had never felt before. Almost as if the Goddess herself was there, blessing their union. Even if Sarai wasn't ready to fully admit what was happening between them, he knew they would never be separate again. No matter how far they might be physically, they would always share this connection.
Lifemate.
He kissed her again, deeply. He wanted to mark her as his, make her realize that she would never feel another man's lips again, that his body would be hers for the rest of his life. He thrust harder, and she moaned into his mouth. He took the sound deep within, reveling in it.
Her legs gripped him tightly, and he could feel her body stiffening as she approached her climax. He was close to coming himself, but held back. When they went, they would go together. He wanted to feel her exploding around his cock, to shoot his seed into her body and claim her.
Her nails were digging into his back now, scraping against him and leaving trails of fire in their wake. The slight pain helped him focus. Down, back. Again. Harder. He twisted his hips, deliberately scraping the length of his arousal against her most sensitive spot. She convulsed in response, and he grunted with satisfaction. She needed him every bit as much as he needed her.
He started moving faster, close to the end of his strength. It was time to push her over the edge. He thrust deeper, harder, again and again. She whimpered, and every muscle in her body stiffened. Her face was twisted with the intensity of her feelings, and she whimpered.
Then she exploded around him, clenching him hard inside and out. He stifled her moaning noises with his mouth, taking them inside and allowing her pleasure to wash through his body. Then he slammed down hard into her and exploded himself, pinning her against the sand with his hard cock and emptying his seed into her body. As the joy and release of his orgasm swept through him, he marveled at the gift he'd been given. This woman was his, and she would be for the rest of his life. He collapsed beside her, and together they gasped for breath.
After what seemed like hours, she stirred against him.
"We should get up before the children see us," she whispered. "But don't think you're getting away from me. We'll continue this tonight, after they go to bed."
"I think they should go to be early," he said, deadpan. She nodded sagely.
"I agree," she replied. "It's been a long day for them. They need their sleep."
* * * * *
Sarai felt light and happy as she they walked back toward town. Able and Mali walked between them, Mali hanging on Jax's hand and giggling. She talked the entire way home, and more than once Able rolled his eyes in disgust.
"She talks too much, Mom," he said for the fourth time. Sarai laughed in response, unable to get upset. She started to reply, but before she could a flash of bright, white light blinded them.
Jax dove, pushing all her and the children into the ditch, covering them with his body.
Then sound roared around them, and a terrible wind rose. Sarai wrapped her arms around the children, desperately confused. She could feel herself screaming, but couldn't hear anything. Her ears were ringing, and in an instant she wondered if the world was ending.
Then something hit her head and everything stopped abruptly.
Chapter Nine
She came awake slowly.
The air smelled funny, sterile. She opened her eyes, but she couldn't see anything. She took a deep breath, trying not to panic. What had happened? They had been walking home from the river; how did she get here, and what was wrong with her eyes?