But now there was new hope. His friend, Seth, had found Calla. And Sarai had been with Calla.
What was life like before Sarai? It had only been a week, yet in those few short days his entire life had changed. He was frustrated, of course. He had made love to her in the garden that first night, but she hadn't let him touch her since. But even though the frustration was maddening, the sheer joy of her presence filled him.
He felt alive, complete.
The sound of her voice curled through him every time she spoke, touching corners of his soul he'd thought were long dead. And her children, they were beautiful. Little Able, a child who thought like an adult. He would be a challenge, Jax realized. He felt threatened by the thought of his mother having a new man in her life. Their father, Calvin, had been a horrible man. He'd hurt the entire family deeply—Jax's only regret was that Calvin was already dead. He would have liked to kill the man himself.
And Mali.
She was a little angel, a smaller version of her mother; only this version accepted him with open arms. She had been shy at first, but now she ran up to him every time she saw him, demanding hugs.
But no matter how much her daughter loved him, Sarai would hardly speak to him. He wanted to sweep her into his arms, to take her with him to his homeworld and make her his.
And by Saurellian law he was entitled to do that; she was his lifemate, after all, a bond created by the Goddess herself.
Simply taking her wasn't a real option, though. He'd realized almost immediately that if he ever wanted to win Sarai over, he'd have to woo her. She'd already been forced into marriage with one man. He had to prove he was different than Calvin, no matter what else happened.
He couldn't prove himself to her unless she gave him a chance, though. He needed to show her that he wanted more than her body, that he didn't need to control her. He wanted a partner, not a servant.
Unfortunately, she didn't seem to want him at all.
He would have to change her mind.
Chapter Two
Sarai was stirring a pot of porridge over the stove when Jax came into the kitchen. She could sense his presence immediately, of course, but she didn't acknowledge him. There was no way she'd let him know just how aware she was of his every move.
She lifted the porridge and turned to pour it into the bowls she'd set out.
"Mali, Able, do you want sweetener in your cereal?" she asked brightly. Then she turned and allowed herself to see him lounging against the doorway, arms folded in front of his chest.
"Yes," Mali piped up, looking excited. Able grunted, glaring at Jax. At least one of her children hadn't gone over to the enemy, Sarai thought dryly.
"Do you have enough for me to have a bowl?" Jax asked softly. The question seemed innocent enough, but his voice was dark and silky. It caressed her ears, reminding her of how he had sounded as he came into her that night.
"No," she said tightly, walking over to the table and setting down the bowls in front of the children. "Food isn't part of the arrangement here. I've told you that before. There are any number of places in town where you can find breakfast."
Jax simply smiled at her, and then sauntered across the kitchen to the table. She glared at him forbiddingly, but he ignored her. Coming up beside Mali, he swung one leg over the bench and straddled it next to the small girl.
"Good morning, Jax," Mali said brightly, carefully balancing her spoonful of cereal and blowing on it. "Would you like some of my breakfast? Mommy always gives me too much."
"No thank you, sweetheart," Jax said, catching Sarai's eye. "I'll get something later.
You'll need all your food so you have energy to play today, and do your studies."
Mali nodded, stuffing the spoon in her mouth. Sarai pursed her lips. She'd already asked him several times not to come into the kitchen, but she didn't want to make a scene in front of the children. They'd been through enough without having to watch that. Instead, she filled her own bowl and turned to the table. Jax watched her as Mali chattered on about her plans for the day. Able glared.
"Are you done with your food?" she asked finally, and the two small blond heads nodded in unison. "Put your bowls in the sink, and go on outside."
Mali hopped up and carried her bowl to the sink. Able followed more slowly, watching them carefully.
"It's all right, son," Sarai said, giving him as open a smile as she could manage. "You go on and play with your sister. It'll be time for your lessons before long."
"All right," he muttered, and stomped out the back door behind Mali. Silence fell over the kitchen.
"Mali tells me you had to carry pails of water for the vegetables yesterday afternoon,"
Jax said in a smooth, drawling voice. "She told me the water wasn't working right. Do you know what's wrong with it?"
"No," Sarai said tightly.
"Have you called anyone to fix it yet?" Jax asked, watching her face carefully.
"No," she replied, refusing to meet his gaze. "I don't want to spend the money right now."
"I can take a look at it if you like," Jax said lightly.
"And what would a soldier know about irrigation?" Sarai said sharply.
"Well, I wasn't born a soldier," Jax replied calmly. "I was born on a farm, and I used to work on the irrigation equipment with my father. They have farms in Saurellia, you know.
Even soldiers have to eat."
Sarai was startled. She'd never thought of Saurellians as farmers. They were soldiers, conquerors. They came and took things; they fought the Empire. They didn't fix broken pipes.
"Well, I can't stop you," she said, standing abruptly. She scooped up her plate and turned away from him. "But I don't want you bothering me here. You need to leave."
"Sarai," Jax said quietly. "You can't just brush me off forever. I'm not going away.
Why won't you at least give me a chance?"
"I don't want you in my life," she said tightly. "I don't want any man in my life."
Jax came up behind her. She couldn't hear him move, but she could sense his presence with every fiber of her being. She tried to look relaxed, but she felt like screaming. She was trapped, she couldn't move.
"I'm already here," he replied, all but whispering in her ear. "I'm not leaving. We can't just leave this thing between us unfinished."
She whirled to face him, startled by how close he was. His chest was just inches from her face. His shirt was open just a bit at the neck, and a few dark hairs from his chest caught her attention. They were coarse and curly. She already knew what they felt like. They had been wiry against her hands that night.
She could smell him, too. He smelled a little like the soap she kept in each of the hostel's rooms, and a little like himself.
Jax.
She took a deep breath, hoping to calm herself.
Instead she inhaled more of his scent. A thrill at his presence ran through her body. She could feel herself starting to tremble. Steeling herself, she took a deep breath and stared straight into his eyes.
"You have no idea what I've been through in my life," she said. "I'm free now, and so are my children. We've lived under a man's control before. I won't go back to that. Ever."
Jax reached one hand up, lightly brushing her cheek with the backs of his fingers.
"I don't want to control you," he whispered. He leaned over and brushed a kiss against her ear. "I want to make love to you, and be with you. Nothing more than that."
She held herself still, longing to lean into him.
"Give me a chance," Jax continued. "And I'll prove it to you. I don't expect you to accept anything on faith."
Sarai closed her eyes tightly. He was too intense, too much. She wanted to touch him, feel the smooth silk of his skin under her fingertips, the wiry hair of his chest. What had he said? Give him a chance? She had to get rid of him somehow. Maybe she could use his own words against him, she thought desperately.
"You want a chance?" she said, opening her eyes. His face was only inches from hers, his gaze focused on her mouth. He licked his lips, and something inside her clenched. If she leaned forward even the slightest bit, they would be touching. "If I give you a chance, will you go away?"
A stillness came over Jax.
"Yes," he said slowly.
"I'll give you a week," Sarai said nervously. She could feel tension radiating from him.
He was like wild predator, one who wanted to devour her.
"A week isn't enough," Jax replied softly. "I want a month. And during that month you have to let me touch you."
"No," she said quickly. She already knew how dangerous his touch could be.
"Yes," he replied firmly. "You want me to promise to leave you? Well, I'll leave if after a month you still want me to. But you have to let me touch you whenever I want. And I want to sleep in your room."
"I won't have sex with you," she said in panic. "I won't ever have sex with another man unless it's
my
choice. I won't give you that kind of power over me."
"I didn't say you had to have sex with me," he replied smoothly. His eyes were intense, compelling. His fingers brushed her cheek again; it was impossible to think. How did he do it? How did he make her melt like this?
"If you don't want to make the deal, I can't force you," he continued. "But it's the only way you're going to get rid of me. What do you say?"
"Two weeks," she said desperately. "A month is too long."
"Three weeks," he whispered. His lips brushed against hers, his body pressed her back against the counter. She could feel the entire length of him. His frame was hard with muscles, and against her belly an unmistakable bulge jutted.
Against her will, her hands rose to grip his waist. She wanted him to pull her against him, to lift her up onto the counter and thrust into her. She took a deep breath.
"Three weeks," she whispered. Could she last that long? She would have to. She had seen his determination; this might be her best chance to get rid of him.
He groaned as she agreed, his mouth taking hers in a kiss unlike any she'd ever experienced. His lips were rough, commanding her to open to the onslaught of his tongue.
His arms came around her like bands of iron, molding her to him even as one leg thrust between hers.
He thrust into her mouth like a marauder, a warrior, and she let her head fall back under his strength. He plumbed her depths, thrusting again and again even as his lower body ground slowly against her pelvis. She could feel her nipples tightening, and moist heat built between her legs. How was she going to survive three weeks with this man? She couldn't even survive three minutes!
"What are you doing to my mother?" Able's voice cut through the kitchen, filled with disapproval and dislike. Jax stilled instantly, and Sarai all but whimpered as he pulled his lips from hers. He stood back from her, and turned to face the boy.
Sarai's son was standing there, both hands on his hips and his face twisted with dislike.
She groaned inwardly, disgusted by her own behavior. She had allowed this man to maul her in front of her child, a child who had seen first-hand the horrors his father had committed.
"I was kissing her," Jax said lightly. "Does that bother you?"
"Yes," Able said, his face grim. Sarai rubbed a hand against her forehead. How was she going to explain this to Able?
"I don't plan to hurt her, and I won't do anything she hasn't agreed to let me do," Jax said, keeping his tone friendly. "But I wasn't making her do anything she didn't want me to do."
"Is that right, Mom?" Able asked, turning his accusing gaze to her. She sighed, knowing he would be upset if she said yes. For a moment she considered saying no, covering up her part in the kiss. But she had never lied to her children before, and now wasn't the time to start.
"Yes," she said. "I agreed to let him kiss me."
"Oh," Able said, at a loss for words. He looked confused, and suddenly very young.
"Why did you do that?"
Sarai gave a choked laugh, wondering what to tell him.
Because I can't control myself?
Because I made a deal to get rid of him? Because your father only hurt me, but when this
man touches me I feel like I'll break into a thousand pieces, and it feels good?
None of them were answers she could give her son.
"Because sometimes men and women like to kiss," she said finally. Able's face grew dark again.
"That's a stupid reason," he said after a brief pause. Then he whirled and ran out of the room.
Sarai slumped back against the counter.
"I'm a terrible mother," she whispered, looking up at him with haunted eyes. "How could I let you do that where my children might see? This deal we've made, none of it can happen around them. They are my life, they are far more important than you. Can you understand that?"
Jax nodded, his gaze inscrutable.
"As long as you understand that at night you're mine, I'll make sure I don't touch you in front of the children."
"Thank you," she replied. "I can't have them getting hurt over this. They've already been hurt enough."
Jax reached one finger to her chin, and lifted her face so he could look at her directly.
"I understand," he whispered, dropping a quick, light kiss on her mouth. He straightened, then spoke again in a louder voice. "I'll go take care of that pipe now. Let me know if you need anything, all right?"
He turned and strode out of the room.
* * * * *
He could win her over, he knew it.
Sarai was inside getting the children ready for bed. He sat outside her bedroom in the garden, waiting for her. It had been dark for hours; she'd kept the children up well past their bedtime. She was avoiding him, using them as a shield. But eventually she would run out of excuses.
He saw the light come on in her room, and the outline of her body against the drapes. If she had any idea how sheer they were she would faint, he thought with amusement. Every night she gave him a show, as she got ready for bed.
She untied her apron and started removing her clothes quickly and efficiently. Turning as she pulled off her dress, she was briefly silhouetted. Long, slender legs, shapely breasts that were still fairly firm, even after two children. Her blonde hair hung down her back like a curtain.
What would it look like over her naked body?
he wondered. That one night they'd had together had been all too brief. He'd never gotten the chance to see her as he'd fantasized so many times. He wanted her astride him, her head thrown back in pleasure and her breasts bouncing. Her hair would be wild and free, offering him glimpses of her body even as she rode him through the night.