Seeing Red (28 page)

“Thank you for not pressuring me into anything. I
know you must be frustrated. I’m just not ready. I’m not the kind
of girl that just jumps into sex. Really, we haven’t even known one
another that long. Just give me some more time, please.”

“Stop apologizing. It’s fine. I don’t think anyone’s
ever died from a serious case of blue balls.” He looked pained.
They laughed for a long time with her in his arms. He seemed
content, and even with his “serious case of blue balls,” he seemed
sated and she was happy. For the first time in a long time, Jillian
was happy.

When they stopped laughing, she asked, “So, do you
think I’m a weirdo? A quack? You know . . . with the whole psychic
thing?”

“Yes, you are.” He teased her. “A total loony.” They
both laughed, falling asleep in each other’s arms. The last thing
Jill remembered before closing her eyes and drifting off was that
Paul had accepted her, even with all her flaws. Falling in love
with him would surely come because he was just absolutely perfect.
The awkwardness was obviously nerves.

Obviously.

When she awoke the next morning, Paul was in the
kitchen making breakfast while whispering on the phone. He looked
like a model in black slacks and a fitted black V-neck shirt. His
hair, still wet from a shower, was slicked back. He smiled at her
and hung up shortly after she walked in. They packed their
belongings and headed back home, arriving back to Jill’s apartment
on Sunday. Class was supposed to resume the following day. He was
very quiet on the way back to the apartment, but he held her hand
during the drive and gave her a lovely kiss goodbye after walking
her back to the apartment. Life was good. She had met a man that
she could have a future with and that would love her. A reliable
man. A good man.

A kiss can be a comma, a question
mark, or an exclamation point. That’s basic grammar that every
woman ought to know.

-Helen

Jillian

Jillian didn’t have any classes with Professor Black
this second semester, so she knew she wouldn’t see him in class,
but seeing him around campus would be inevitable. She had
butterflies in her stomach at the thought of seeing him. She picked
up her phone a dozen times to call him but changed her mind. She
planned on surprising him after her classes in his office.

Avoiding Alexander, on the other hand, was
impossible since he was in all of her classes. As soon as she
walked into her first class of the semester, she saw him. He gave
her a sad smile, but she ignored him and grabbed a seat on the
other side of the class in between two other students so that he
wouldn’t get any ideas about sitting next to her. She took out her
laptop and books and refused to look back at him. She was still
angry.

He had probably been with that bimbo with the VW
while she was being poked and prodded by paramedics. It was her
idea that he give her space, but did he have to disappear
completely? And who the hell was the VW girl? Was he dating her? He
didn’t do dating? But the real question was why did she care?
Jealousy reared its ugly nose.

“Still mad at me, Red?” She jumped.

She turned around and almost smacked right into his
lips, he was so close. “Do you always have to sneak up on me?” She
shoved his shoulder.

“I didn’t sneak up on you. You are always so
distracted that you
think
I’m sneaking up on you.”

“Are you sitting there now?” She asked.

“Yep, this beautiful angel agreed to switch seats
with me.” He said, winking at a tall brunette sitting next to him.
She was visibly melting at his adoration. Jill rolled her eyes and
shook her head.

“You still mad?”

“No, Xander, I’m not mad. Let’s just let it go,
okay? I’m calling a cease-fire.” She was tired of the constant
bickering.

“Good.” He leaned forward gave her a kiss on the
cheek and sat back.

After her classes were over for the day, Jill went
to the faculty building to surprise Paul. He hadn’t contacted her
since the trip, but she figured he had been busy since it was the
first day of class. She was a little nervous about visiting him at
his office, but he had been so attentive and sweet on their trip.
She felt as if she were starting to understand him, and he loved
her; he would certainly be pleased to see her. She knocked on the
door and there was no answer. She went to the area where the
secretaries sat and asked if the professor was in class.

“Sorry, dear, Professor Black doesn’t have any
classes this semester. He is on sabbatical until the summer.”
Jill’s heart dropped. This had to be a mistake—clearly a
misunderstanding. He probably just forgot to mention it. That was
it—he had forgotten. She didn’t need him to be in school for them
to date. In fact, it was probably better this way—she wouldn’t be
distracted during school.

She picked up her cell phone to call him, and it
went straight to voicemail. “Hi, Paul, it’s me, Jill. I just wanted
to say hello. Maybe we could grab dinner or something tonight? Um .
. . Well, call me when you can. Thanks. Bye.”

An entire week went by, and there was not one word
from Paul. She was crushed. Was he like every other man? She didn’t
give it up, and, therefore, he’d flown the coup. Had she been a
disappointment? Maybe the kisses that she thought were great were
just mediocre because she was just mediocre? Was he scared away by
her revelations?

***

Alexander

“She never misses class, and she’s missed the entire
week. What’s going on with her, Oliver?” Alexander asked.

“I don’t know. She went on a weekend getaway with
Paul, and then she mentioned to Heather a few days later that Paul
hadn’t called. Heather says she’s hardly eating and hasn’t come out
of her room. That’s all I know.”

“Motherfucker! I’ll kill him if he hurt her.” He
stormed his way to her room and was about to force the door open
when he took a breath and calmly knocked instead. “Red, it’s me,
Xander. Open up.”

“Go away.”

“Nope. Wrong answer. I’m not going anywhere, so you
might as well open up.”

There was no answer. “Hon’ please. You’re worrying
us. Please open the door. It’s been a week. What’s wrong? I had to
call Oliver and Alex.” Heather said from the door.

“Yes, baby, open the door.” Oliver knocked.

“I don’t know why you’d think she’d listen to me?
She hates me.” Alexander said.

“Yeah, right, come on. Do you think we’re blind? We
see the stolen stares and touches. If you can’t help, no one can.”
Heather replied and Oliver’s jaw twitched. He even made a low
snarl.

He knocked again. “Woman, I’m counting to three, and
if you don’t open the door, I’m breaking it down. One. Two. Two and
a half. Three!” Alexander rammed his body into the door and broke
it open. Heather and Oliver were following him inside when
Alexander stopped them and said he wanted a moment alone with
her.

Jill was under the covers with a pillow over her
head. Lights off. Curtains closed. Complete darkness. Alexander
tenderly lifted her chin up to his face and brushed her cheek with
the back of his hand. He saw her eyes were red and puffy, and his
nostrils flared as he tried his best to suppress his anger.

“What happened?” She didn’t answer. “Jill, please
you have to tell me. I’m dying here. What happened? Did he hurt
you?”

“No. Nothing like that. I’m going to take a
nap.”

“A nap? You’ve been in this room for almost a week.
What’s going on? Tell me.”

A little while later, after it was obvious she was
not going to talk, Alexander left the room. “She won’t say
anything. I don’t know what else to do. I told you she wouldn’t
talk to me.”

“And I’ve been trying all week. She won’t talk to me
either. Why don’t you talk to her, sugar?” Heather motioned to
Oliver.

***

Oliver

Oliver walked into the room, feeling as if he were
walking into the unknown, and closed the door behind him; he sat on
the bed, took off his shoes, lifted the covers, and slipped into
the bed behind her. Without hesitation, Jill turned around, put her
head in the crook of his shoulder and her arm around his chest and
curled up into his body. Like a lifeline. He gave her a kiss on the
head. They lay like that for some time.

“Baby, you’ve always been able to tell me anything.
We wrote each other every single day. Come on, we’re family. We’re
best friends. Tell me.”

“I want to tell you, but after you told me, you
know, how you felt, it feels weird talking to you about this.”

“Don’t feel weird. Tell me. Nothing has changed. You
can tell me.”

After a moment, she said, “I’m such an idiot, Oly. I
almost slept with him and now he’s disappeared. He won’t return my
calls. He’s not even teaching this semester. He told me he loved me
and I believed him. God, I’d sleep with the first guy, that wasn’t
you or Xander, who showed me a little affection. What’s wrong with
me? I probably scared him off. I bet I was a lousy kisser. I should
have just slept with him. That’s what guys want, right? I’m so
stupid.” She cried into his chest.

“I really doubt that you’re a lousy kisser,
Jillian,” He said, trying really hard to mask his fury and pain

“It’s true. I’m not that experienced, and I probably
turned him off. Either that or he flipped out about me being a
freak with the whole psychic thing.”

“You told him? What exactly did you tell him?”

“Just about the island, about Helen, and about my
visions. Nothing about the journals or Rocco.”

“First, I’m not going to lie. I’m so jealous it
hurts. I’m glad you didn’t sleep with him. He doesn’t deserve you.
You’re a naïve, innocent, beautiful woman. I don’t know why you
feel this need for affection. You have people that love you, Jill.
You’re tying up your issues with love to this sleaze. Don’t confuse
one with the other. I want to kill him for so many reasons right
now. Putting that aside, I doubt you were anything less than
perfect in the kissing department. Second, assuming you were
terrible, he still should’ve called. Third, if he thinks you’re a
freak, then fuck him. You’re better off without him.”

They lay in bed together for a little longer. “Come
on, we’re going to dinner. All of us.”

“No.”

“Yes. You don’t really have a choice, Jillian, so
why bother arguing. Oh, and by the way, next month, you’re coming
with us to the island gala thing.”

“No way!”

“Yep, you are. Heather’s going, too, by the way.
We’re all going. It’s going to be fun.”

“Nope.”

“Well, we won’t talk about it right now, but you’re
going. And, just for the record, I love you. You know that I do.
You can always sleep with me if you want to resolve your
hunger-for-love issues.” He wiggled his eyebrows up and down.

Jill snorted out a laugh. “Thanks, Dr. Freud. But I
think my life’s complicated enough. I guess with Paul gone that’s
one less complication.”

“Come on. Let’s go feed you.” He gently elbowed her
ribs.

“Thanks, Oly, I love you. You’re always there for
me.” He scooped her off her bed and put her feet on the floor.

“I hope you remember that, baby. Hurry up and get
dressed. I’m starved.”

After she was dressed, they all went out to eat.
Careful not to upset her, Heather and Alexander didn’t ask
questions; they just tried to cheer her up.

It was a good evening, and they did their best to
get her out of her Paul-induced rut.

“So Jill’s going to be my date for the gala,” Xander
said very matter-of-factly.

“Oh, I thought she wasn’t going,” Oliver said.

“I’m not.”

“Yes, she is. She’s making up for ignoring me a few
hours ago and then baring her soul to you. She wouldn’t stand me
up. Anyway, free food, free booze, and a chance to have fun. It’s
in our honor. We gotta go.”

“Nope. Not going. Thank you, guys, for today. You
really are the best. I love you all. I’ll be in class tomorrow.
Mourning period is over. I’m fine. No need to worry about me
anymore.”

“You going to tell us what happened with Paul?”
Alexander asked.

“Nope, he’s just a stupid guy. I’m over it.”

“About time, Red.”

Ping.
The sound of the instant message
resonated throughout the entire class in class the next morning.
“Ms. Stone, do you mind?” Professor Knight scowled.

She was going to murder Alexander! She silenced the
volume and slid down her chair, her head bowed down, mortified. He
kept messaging her.

Xander: Don’t ignore me. Helloooo. I know you’re
there. I see you.

Oliver: Hey, Jill, Xander said you changed your mind
about the trip. That’s great.

Okay now the Jacobs were really getting on her
nerves. She joined them in the conversation.

Jill: You guys, I’m in class! Stop bothering me.
And, Oliver, your brother’s a liar. I never said anything about
going.

Oliver: You’re the smartest person in school. You
don’t need to pay attention.

Xander: Excuse me! I’m the smartest person in
school. She needs to pay attention because she’s barely passing and
I don’t want to embarrass her anymore with my superior
intelligence.

Jill: Shut up, Xander!

Xander: See she is paying attention to us.

Oliver: Okay, so why are you avoiding this little
shindig in our honor? Is it because you’re dying to be my date but
Xander already asked you and you feel bad letting him down?

Xander: Ha, ha, ha. She already said she was going
with me.

Oliver: She did?

Jill: I’m not going. Stop it. I’m in class. Oliver,
aren’t you supposed to be leaving soon to some jungle somewhere to
take photos of weird animals or something?

Oliver: Actually, I am going to be working while on
our little trip. I’ll be the first to get photos published of Rota
Island (a.k.a. Onion Island). The magazine gave me the
exclusive.