See You in Hell (Mel Goes to Hell Series Book 2) (8 page)

She reached under her seat for hers and almost laughed when she saw the ticket number. Someone sure had a sense of humour up there.

The first half-dozen prizes were coffee, beer and meal vouchers, which went to various human patrons.

"Next up are two coffee pod machines," the hostess announced, as a grinning waiter carried them forward like he was the proud father of twins. She drew out the first ticket. "Four five seven!"

Mel and the increasingly irritated demons watched as first one, then the other coffee maker were won by humans. It definitely wasn't the demons' day. Not only were they damned, but they were doomed to drink disgusting coffee while they were on Earth.

"And one last prize that only came in yesterday. When our coffee supplier heard what we were giving away, he said he'd provide another prize for one lucky winner who appreciated
real
coffee. So we'll draw one more ticket for an office coffee maker – the same model we use here – and the first year's supply of coffee beans, all provided by our sales rep." The hostess coughed. "For those of you who don't win, we have some brochures for you to take back to your office, detailing prices and packages for machines and coffee supply…"

The demons perked up considerably at this. One of them muttered in Latin, the words too fast for Mel to make out.

"The winning ticket is…number six six six!"

Someone laughed.

Mel's colleagues looked feverishly through the tickets on the table. Gerry lifted the salt shaker, muttering, "Has to be one of us. It has to be…" – looking for a missing ticket that definitely wasn't there.

"Redraw!" a man seated near the door bellowed. The cry was taken up by several others.

Someone definitely had a strange sense of humour, Mel decided. But not even demons deserved to drink the sewage sludge back at the office and she'd be damned before she'd deny them some hope in their miserable lives. She rose. "It's mine." Holding up the ticket that had been taped to the underside of her Hell-hot chair, the angel calmly made her way to the hostess and handed it over.

"Where do you work?" the hostess asked. "I need the office address for the supplier, as he'll deliver your fresh coffee beans weekly – I only have a week's worth here to go with the machine." She gestured at the huge box that was definitely more than Mel could carry.

"I work for the HELL Corporation," Mel replied, writing down the address.

The hostess snorted. "You'll need all the perks you can get, working in that Hell-hole. I've heard stories…well, at least you'll have decent coffee for when you're forced to work late. I've heard it happens a lot over there."

"Not to me," Mel said cheerfully. "Thank you, though. I think my colleagues will appreciate it when the shock wears off." It was hard to ignore nine demons staring at you, she mused.

"Get a couple of the blokes to help you carry it, then, and another couple to grab the coffee. There's a lot and it's heavy," the woman cautioned.

Mel smiled, nodded and thanked her again, before returning to the table.

Merih clapped hard. "Way to go, Mel!"

Slowly, the others joined in with half-hearted applause.

"I can't carry it back to the office myself," she admitted. "Would some of you be willing to help?"

She was answered by demonic silence.

Mel shrugged. "I guess I could ask if the staff here have a trolley I could borrow. I don't think it'll fit in the kitchen, though. Do you think we might be able to set it up on a table in the lunchroom?"

"You mean you're bringing that thing to our office and not the agency?" Lili blurted out.

Mel laughed. "Of course. I work in your office, not the agency office. I'd say your need is greater, too, and you all did invite me along today…"

Two demons whose names Mel didn't know stood up and marched to the counter. Between them, they lifted the coffee machine. "Are you ready to go?" one asked her.

Mel nodded. "There's the coffee, too…"

Merih swung one big bag of coffee beans into Gerry's arms and hefted the other in his own. "At your service, Mel. We'll have to work out how much we owe you for this."

Mel waved the offer away. "I can't drink all this coffee on my own and it'd be a shame not to share it. You don't need to."

"I'll arrange it with everyone else in the office. We'll call it the coffee club. We'd pay one of our own and just because you're not a demon, doesn't mean you don't deserve…"

One of the machine-toting demons cut in: "Oi, this is heavy, mate. If you're going to stand around and talk, you can carry the coffee machine."

"Right. Right," Merih replied, as he led the procession back to the sixth floor of the HELL Corporation building.

 

In front of an audience of what seemed like half the office, Mel broke the coffee machine out of the box and attempted to assemble it. It was easier than she'd expected, but the LCD screen wasn't lighting up. It took ten minutes before she realised that no one had plugged it in yet and the dearth of helpful volunteers seemed to be standard procedure in HELL.

"There's a power point under this table. Here, I'll hook it up and we can try that again," Mel said, dropping to her knees to crawl under the furniture. Mel heard the scrape of shoes on carpet and wondered why the demons behind her were moving around. She was wearing pants today, so she knew they weren't jockeying for a better view of her underwear.

"So who do I have to whip to get some work done around here?" Mel heard Luce's voice.

She couldn't reach the socket yet. It was half-hidden under a cabinet beside the table. Scooting along the carpet, her fingers made contact with the dusty power point and she plugged the machine in.

"You won the coffee machine at the Cup lunch? It's about time we had some decent coffee around here. Hell, for that, you can all have the afternoon off."

Nobody moved except Mel, whose fingers scrabbled for the switch to turn the power on. There was so much dust behind the cabinet – or were those cobwebs? It looked like Luce's desk wasn't the only thing in the office that the cleaning staff didn't have time for.

"Who won it, anyway? I'll offer a blowjob to the man, if he makes me the first coffee with that thing."

Stunned silence as Mel covered her mouth with a dusty hand to stop herself from exploding into laughter. She decided to get out from under the table before things got out of hand. No one would believe Luce had offered his employees…much less her…

Mel emerged from under the table, but the demons in the room screened her from Luce's sight, even as she stood up.

"Not from me, personally, of course. You can have your pick of the office girls. The new one's pretty and has quite a clever mouth on her, too. In fact, I can vouch for her myself."

She couldn't help it any more. Luce was digging a hole so deep, he'd hit Hell soon if she didn't stop him. Her laughter bubbled up and out, breaking the demonic silence. "That would be me."

Demons shuffled aside, letting Mel see Luce's surprised expression. He recovered quickly. "Perfect timing. Now, who's going to turn down this lovely lady's services? All you have to do is make me a coffee…"

Mel cleared her throat. "Actually, I don't know how." She glanced around, wondering who had the manual for the machine.

Luce laughed. "Nothing to it! Just drop to your knees, open your mouth, relax your throat and drink down what comes."

"I think there's a bit more to making a coffee on this machine. Merih, can you please pass me the manual? I'll need a cup, too." Mel accepted the booklet and one of the dozen proffered cups with a smile of thanks. "How do you take your coffee, Luce? Or should I guess? I would say…an espresso. Or a double, given the size of the cup. Just the bitter brew, with no milk, cream or sugar."

Luce's smile was as tight and uncomfortable as a brand-new pair of jeans that was a size too small, but his tone still sounded confident. "That sounds about right."

Mel glanced at the manual, keying in his selection. The coffee machine whirred as it started making his brew. Mel kept her eyes carefully on the filling cup as she heard the shuffle of moving feet behind her once more. She spun on the spot with the hot drink in her hands, holding it out to Luce. "The first cup. Enjoy." Her smile was sincere.

He took it from her and slurped at the contents. The demons who hadn't already made their escape decided as one that this was the best time to do so.

Mel held her ground, not lowering her lips from their smile. She didn't laugh when she saw the scrawled text on the side of the mug serendipity had bestowed on Luce – 'SEXY DEVIL', it said. Sad, frustrated, soon to be embarrassed devil would have been more appropriate, but pity stayed her tongue from saying so. Instead, she said, "How's the coffee? I've never used such a complicated machine before. I'm hoping someone who has more experience can show me how to use it."

Luce carefully set his cup down. He glanced around, checking to make sure they really were alone before he spoke in a very low voice. "You're the one who won the coffee machine, aren't you?" Mel nodded once. "Why did you bring it here, instead of the agency where you work? Angels always look after angels first." He sounded bitter.

Mel kept her voice gentle. "Actually, we don't. We look after those who need it most. Those who have the least. I've never worked for Raphael in that office – just here. This office is a pretty dark place and I thought it could do with a bit of hope. No one deserved to drink the coffee we had here before – damned or not, it was just plain horrible." She managed an apologetic smile. "Besides, angels aren't addicted to caffeine like your staff are. We can easily do without. If your staff weren't so afraid of you, perhaps one of them might have said something before you made an offer you couldn't deliver on."

Luce grinned. "Sure I can. Your pick of the office girls – or anyone else here. The technique might be a little different to a blowjob, but I'm sure they'd do their bit to thank you. After all, I'm always open to a more permanent arrangement with our temporary staff, if you like it here."

Mel shook her head, remembering Raphael's warning. "No, Luce. I'm not getting intimate with any of your staff, nor do I want a permanent job here."

"What about me?" His grin faltered, but it was still there. "I'm quite a sexy devil, you know, and I do have a fair bit of experience." His eyes didn't seem so cold now – the darkness reminded her more of his steaming cup of coffee than the vacuum of space. "I'm only offering this to you, Mel. How about a hot cup of sensuality in payment for this equally hot cup of coffee?"

This took her by surprise. Oral sex from Lucifer himself – well, there was an offer a girl didn't get every day, much less an angel. He'd even remembered her name. "Luce, all I really wanted was a decent cup of coffee for myself. Giving the same to everyone else in the office is a perk, I guess."

Luce looked thoughtful. "How about I make you one? My coffee machine at home is just a smaller version of this one. I should be able to work it out. How do you take it?"

Mel shrugged. "I usually drink tea. I occasionally have a cup of instant coffee, but not often enough to be able to say I know what I like. I'm sure whatever you make will be fine."

"A macchiato, but I'll make it a double because you have a mug…and top it up. White and fluffy on top, clothed in light brown, just like the suit you wore to your interview, but with a hidden dark heart inside." Luce looked proud of himself.

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