“And don't be down there all night, either, boy. You hang out with them girls too much,” Mama says. She don't want no premature babies from no one to raise.
“Yes, Mama. Bye, Jayd. Tell Auntie Lynn I said hi.” And Jay was gone to chase after some broads while I'm still here looking for Mama's shoes, doggy style.
“Jayd, where'd you get that bracelet from?” Mama asks, noticing my new bling.
“Oh, Jeremy gave it to me yesterday. You like it?” I ask, waving my arm around like a star.
“Yes, very much. It matches your shirt and shoes quite nicely,” she says sarcastically, referring to my new tank and sandals.
“How's it going with KJ and Misty? Are they still causing you problems,” Mama asks, still digging through the closet.
“Oh, yes. KJ's jealous and so is Misty,” I say, pulling out several black shoes, none of them matching.
“Jayd, just be careful with both of them. Men can get real petty when egos are involved,” Mama says, tossing several almost identical shoes out of the closet and into my pile. “One of those has got to match one of your shoes,” Mama says, giving up and taking a seat on her bed.
“KJ's ego is just too much for me, Mama,” I say, finally finding a match to one of her shoes. “And, I feel bad for him, especially because I found another dude so quickly. But I don't know what else to do,” I say, handing the matching pair to Mama and getting up from the floor to sit across from her on my bed.
“Have you tried listening to KJ? Maybe he just wants to be heard,” she says, slipping on her shoes before grabbing her purse and heading out the door. She and Netta are hosting a candle party at the beauty shop, and Mama's running late, as usual.
“All I do is hear KJ because he won't leave me alone.”
“Okay. Then maybe it's time you changed your approach. Instead of fighting his advances, allow them in and see where they lead. If there's nothing there anymore, then you have nothing to be afraid of.” And, with that last bit of advice, she's off, and I'm left waiting for my mom, who's also running late. Just then, my phone vibrates, letting me know there's a text message in my mailbox.
“Peace, Jayd. Didn't c u at school 2day. Just want 2 say sorry 4 yesterday and I want 2 c u this weekend so we can talk face-to-face. Please call me when u get this message. KJ.”
This fool must be tripping if he thinks I'm calling him after the scene he caused at the mall yesterday. Jeremy and I did an excellent job today of avoiding everyone we didn't want to see at school. That's one good thing about going to the second largest high school in Southern California. It's easy to avoid people if you know all the hiding places, like Jeremy does.
Speaking of my honey, we have a date tomorrow night, and I think it's time we made this thing official. I'm tired of waiting for everything to be just right, and it'll obviously never be a cool time for us to get together. So, the only thing really stopping us is me. Well, no more. I'm ready to give Jeremy and me a chance at love. I can't wait until our usual Saturday night date. I'm getting used to him being a part of my weekend routine.
17
Second Chance, First Choice
“If I'm seen with a girl then she gotta be just (like u).”
âLIL BOW WOW WITH CIARA
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s usual, our date ends up at the beach, which is just fine by me. I love coming to the beach at night, especially with Jeremy. I always wear my hair pulled back in a ponytail, making sure the fog doesn't affect my do. He usually lets the top down, allowing the water's cool air into the car.
“Are you cold?” Jeremy asks, reaching into the backseat and retrieving the overstuffed down blanket.
“No, I'm good. I'm getting used to the weather out here,” I say, allowing him to pull me close into his arms as he gets comfortable in the driver's seat.
“What do you want to listen to?” he asks, grabbing his CD case from under the front seat.
“How about the radio,” I offer, tuning the dial to 93.5 KDAY, my favorite station.
“How do you know about KDAY?” Jeremy asks, looking impressed with my choice in music.
“My uncle used to listen to the original station back in the day when it was on
AM
.” Bryan told me all about how the powers that be took it off the air because it was getting too politically conscious. I'm just glad it's back on because I really enjoy the music. “Let's see what they're playing,” I say, readjusting my position in his arms. As we both get comfortable, waiting for the music to start, the DJ announces a dedication from KJ in Compton. No, it can't be ...
“KJ says for his sweet, lovely Lady Jayd to call him when she hears this song. He knows you're listening. Here's to you, Jayd, wherever you are. The brotha's got it bad if he's dedicating Al Green to you, baby,” the DJ says as “How Do You Mend a Broken Heart?” begins to play. It's KJ's and my second favorite song after Aaliyah's “Let Me Know.”
“I'm so sorry about this, Jeremy,” I say, instantly feeling embarrassed for him. When will this brotha quit?
“It's cool, Jayd. I'm not sweating it,” he says, lying back in his seat like nothing just happened. I'm so shocked by his nonchalant attitude I don't know what to say, so I say nothing. Maybe he feels like he shouldn't have to. Whatever the case, I must admit, no one's ever dedicated a song to me over the radio before. And, it's making me feel special, just as special as buying me gifts does. Why didn't KJ do stuff like this when we were together?
“Are you cool with it?” Jeremy asks, not moving from his relaxed position. He's a little too damn relaxed sometimes. “It's your song,” he says, in a tone I don't recognize.
“I'm well aware of whose song it is, Jeremy. I thought you just might, you know, be a little upset, another guy sneaking up on your territory and all,” I say, rubbing his stomach.
“It's not my territory to sneak up on, is it?” he asks with a little venom on his tongue. I decide not to push the issue any further. We can talk about this tomorrow, when it's not so fresh. He may act like he doesn't care, but I know this bothers him a little bit. It has to, right? And, if it doesn't, what does that say about his feelings for me? Men are so confusing. And I'm going to have to deal with KJ sooner or later. I just don't know what to do now. Jeremy's aloof behavior has turned me off a little, and KJ's persistence is starting to turn me on. Maybe I'll give my girls another chance to help me out on this one tomorrow, because I'm stuck in neutral and don't know which way to go.
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When I get to work this morning, Jeremy and KJ are all I can think about. And, because it's been so slow, as Sunday mornings usually are, I don't have much work to distract me. At least Shahid let me take an early lunch, giving me a chance to sort out my confusion over some comfort food and sunshine.
Don't slip up and get caught, 'cause I'm coming for that number one spot.
“Hello,” I say in between bites of my spinach pattie.
“Hey, Jayd. It's Nellie and Mickey,” Nellie says.
“Hey, y'all, what's cracking?” I say.
“So, how was your date last night?” Mickey asks, beside herself with excitement. I know they heard KJ's little dedication.
“It was fine,” I say, suddenly losing my appetite.
“Are you sure, girl? I know my man would've whipped KJ's ass for some shit like that.”
“That's because your man's a thug, Mickey,” Nellie says. “Jayd, is everything all right with you and Jeremy?” Nellie asks, sounding genuinely concerned.
“Yes, we're fine. Actually, a little too fine for me,” I say, playing with my food. I was hungry a minute ago.
“What do you mean?” Nellie asks.
“He didn't react at all, y'all,” I say, still in disbelief myself.
“What?” they scream simultaneously.
“Oh, that's just plain weird, Jayd. See why I couldn't date no White boy. Where's the passion?” Mickey says.
“There's a difference between passion and rage, Mickey,” Nellie says, putting her in check. “But, I do agree with Mickey. That's a little bit strange.”
“Well, I agree with both of y'all,” I say, though I don't want to admit it. “But what do I do now?” I ask.
“Girl, if I were you,” Mickey says, like she's about to offer me the Holy Grail of advice, “I'd hang up the phone with us right now, call KJ, and pray Misty hasn't laid that booty on him yet.”
“Not that I agree with everything she just said,” Nellie says, “but Mickey's right. You do need to call KJ and see where you two stand.” I don't know if she's right about me and KJ, but I do know I really don't feel like dealing with him right now.
“I'll see,” I say, wanting to get off the phone and just spend the rest of my lunch break relaxing, looking at the cars ride down Overhill Drive. “Right now I just need to chill.”
“All right then, girl. We'll talk to you later,” Mickey says.
“Call us when you get back home,” Nellie says.
“I'll call after I finish my homework. I've avoided doing it all weekend.”
“Homework? Sometimes I think we go to different schools. Later, Jayd,” Mickey says, before hanging up.
“Talk to you later,” Nellie says, leaving me to my own thoughts, or so I think. I've only got about fifteen minutes left on my break to relax before the after-church lunch crowd hits, but wouldn't you know who I see walking up?
“Hey, Jayd. What does it take to get you to call a brotha back?” KJ asks when he gets close enough for me to hear him.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, a little glad to see him. He's just not going to give up that easy, is he?
“I'm here to see you, obviously. And, you can't run from me here,” he says, and he's right, unless I want to get fired.
“Look, KJ. As flattered as I am by this newfound love you have for me, I'm still not moved to completely forgive you,” I say, readjusting my position on the metal bench.
“Okay. But can we at least start as friends again?” he says in that charming way of his with that golden smile. “I can't let this go, Jayd.”
“And maybe that's the problem, KJ. I think you can't let it go because I'm a challenge. And, it's not going to always be this way,” I say, pulling out my reserve of buried wisdom. After Jeremy dropped me off last night, I decided not to react with emotions, which is exactly how Jeremy tries to live. It seems to work for him, so I thought I'd give it a try.
“I know it's not always going to be like this. And, I'm not worried about sex anymore; it'll happen when you're ready. I'm just worried about you coming back to me, where you belong.”
“KJ, do you hear yourself when you speak, or does the bullshit just flow continuously?” I ask, rapidly losing my patience with him. “What if I'm never ready?” I say, challenging his newfound patience.
“Don't be ridiculous,” he says, shrugging his shoulders as if I've just made a joke. “Everybody has sex at some point, Jayd.”
“You see, that's my problem with you, boy. You expect sex as a part of our relationship. What if it never gets that far? What if I decide not to have sex until I'm married?” I say, knowing that's not true. I'd never marry a guy before knowing everything he has to offer.
“You're so difficult,” he says, pacing back and forth in front of my table. “You know what, Jayd?” he says, slamming his hands on the table and looking me square in the face. “When you're ready to get with a real man, let me know. If you're lucky, I'll still be here. Just be careful with that White boy. I hear he picks a new flavor every year.” And, just as quickly as he came, he goes. He practically sprints back to his car and drives off in a huff.
When KJ leaves and I finish up the last of my lunch, Jeremy calls to remind me he's coming to pick me up after work. It's becoming our routine. And then he takes me back to Compton, inadvertently saving my mom some well-needed gas money. He's so sweet.
“Hey, baby. How's work?” he asks, sounding as cool as ever.
“Work's work,” I answer, not feeling the need to bring up KJ's surprise visit.
“I'll see you at three o'clock. And, Jayd,” he says.
“Yes, Jeremy?”
“It did bother me. I just try not to act on first emotions. It's not Zen like,” he says, dropping some knowledge on a sistah.
“Well, I'm glad you're different from the norm. It's refreshing,” I say, working up the nerve to ask my next question. “Jeremy, do you think you could give me another chance?” I ask, leaving him hanging.
“Another chance for what?” he says, making me ask him outright, even though I know he knows the rest of my question.
“A second chance to be your woman,” I say, feeling like I'm finally making the right choice.
“It's your world, Lady Jayd. I'll see you after work,” he says.
“So, just to be clear. We're now officially a couple, right?” I ask, just to be sure we're both on the same page.
“Yes, you are definitely my girl now. You can tell everyone you know,” he says, hanging up the phone and leaving me to day dream about later. It feels so nice to be in love again. And, this time, I'm sure he loves me back.