Authors: L. Divine

Second Chance (17 page)

That Green-Eyed Devil

“Trying to crush my world with jealousy/And I'm about to catch a fit.”

âMARY J. BLIGE

B
ryan actually beat me to the shower this morning, so I had to eat breakfast first, which is just not right. I need my morning shower to get me ready for the new day's drama as I watch the night's layers of dreams and sweat go down the drain. How's a sistah supposed to start her new day of sweetness off right if I don't get in the bathroom before the Negroes in this house funk it up?

“Bryan,” I say, tapping on the door. The water's not that loud, so I know he can hear me.

“I'm almost done, Queen Jayd,” he says. Why is he testing me? When he opens the door, I'm ready with hella attitude. Oh, no, I'm supposed to be sweet today. Got to be cool.

“Well, if it isn't little miss âI always go first in the mornings, '” he says in a singsong voice, walking out the bathroom like a diva, wearing nothing but a raggedy blue towel around his waist. These men up in here can work a nerve.

“What the hell, Bryan? Are you
PM
Sing or whatever the male equivalent is? You know I have to catch the bus. I don't have time for your childish games,” I say, pushing him aside and stepping into the steamy bathroom.

“You don't own this house, Jayd. I'm saying that's why you can't keep a man. You have this attitude like you're not only better than us, but you don't need or respect us. And that isn't attractive in a girl at all. Think about it,” he says, taking off his towel and smacking me with it hard before running into the boys' room.

“I hope you catch pneumonia, you little punk,” I yell, but not so loud that I'll wake up everyone else. What the hell kind of day am I going to have if it starts out like this? Bryan reminds me of the gnome in
The Lord of the Rings, Part Three
. I never know which side he's on, and he makes my skin crawl. But, I still have to love him. And there may be some truth to Bryan's words. Am I too hard on these dudes? I'm taking my time dealing with both of them, and I can't leave Jeremy hanging indefinitely if I'm going to be his girl all the way. I also have to make up my mind whether or not I'm going to be KJ's friend; the sooner the better. Maybe today will be peaceful enough for me to think things through clearly.

The bus ride was uneventful and unusually quiet this morning. Not too many extra stops and there weren't too many people, just enough to make it interesting, but not annoying. And, for the first time this school year, the bus driver smiled at me and said good morning. Usually, he doesn't even look my direction.

With all of this newfound peace on my morning ride, I had some time to think about my options. I'm wrong every time I judge a guy, and I always end up getting hurt. What if Jeremy's an undercover player and KJ can change? I know. It's a twisted thought given KJ's patterns of behavior, but anything's possible. I mean, I don't really know Jeremy that well, and if my friends are tripping off me being with him, maybe they know more than I do. I'll try to talk to Nellie at break and get her honest and unbiased opinion, which may be impossible. But, she's my girl, and I'm willing to listen to her.

Unfortunately, South Bay High isn't as peaceful as the Metro line. As soon as I step foot on campus, I hear the rumors Misty has started, based off nothing but made-up bullshit in her twisted little world. Apparently, I wouldn't give it up to KJ because I'm too uptight, but Jeremy's just the one to loosen me up, or that's what Mickey told me when I got to my locker this morning. Now it's break, and my girls and I need to have a meeting. How am I supposed to be sweet with all this going on? As I walk toward the quad, I stop at the vending machines to get some Fritos where Misty and Shae are also hangin' this morning.

“So Jayd and that White boy done it, huh, Misty?” Shae says, passing her a water bottle from the vending machine. They act like I'm not standing right here. Shae's never liked me, but she's usually smart enough to stay out of Misty's mix. But, this is her chance to prove I'm the sell-out she thought I was when I first got to South Bay High.

“I don't know. She's kinda uptight about giving up the cookies. Like she's the damn Queen of Sheba or somebody,” Misty says, looking to make sure I'm within earshot. What a broad.

“Well, everybody ain't gone wait on her ass, especially not no White boy,” Shae says, walking toward South Central.

“Yeah, and not even the Black one's still on her jock. He's slowly fading from her wait list too,” Misty says, following Shae. I should go over there and set them both straight. But for what? Them heffas ain't got nothing on me.

“Hey, Jayd. Did you get me some chips?” Nellie asks, looking around the quad to see if Byron's outside yet. She's been jocking him on the low ever since his party. It's only break and it's already ninety degrees by the beach. By lunch, it'll be hot as hell out here.

“Not yet. Where's Mickey? She's usually not late for the morning news,” I say, looking for her around the quad. All I see is KJ in the distance, walking this way.

“She had to stay after class and finish last night's homework. That girl needs to get her priorities straight or she'll find herself back in the eleventh grade next year.”

“Why she didn't finish it last night? It ain't like she got to go to work or nothing.”

“No, but she does have to go to her man's and check in, which could take all night, knowing them.”

“W. T. M. I., Nellie. Way too much info.”

“Hey, Jayd, Nellie,” KJ says as he walks up to us, blocking my clear view of the ocean.

“Hey, KJ. Where's your entourage?” Nellie asks while waiting for the vending machine to release her chips.

“Very funny, Nellie. Jayd, can I talk to you for a minute?” KJ asks with that charming smile of his.

“No,” I say flatly. The last time this brotha talked to me, I wound up falling for his bullshit again and that ain't happening. But, I will try and maintain my sweetness.

“Jayd, we really need to talk. Misty's out to get you because she thinks you're playing me, and you know how she is.” Is he actually defending her? Has he lost his mind? “And, I don't want you to think I'll be the same if we get back together, 'cause I won't,” KJ says, taking my hand and looking into my eyes. “I love you, Jayd. I meant it when I first said it, and I mean it now. I won't put any pressure on you for sex, and you'll be my only girl, for as long as you want to be.” Damn, this brotha's good.

“KJ, you think Jayd's just sitting around waiting for you to apologize?” Nellie says, snapping me back into reality.

“Yeah,” I say, trying to ignore the fact he's got me remembering how good his arms feel. “It's not that easy, KJ. Remember, we've already been down this road.”

“Don't lie, Jayd. You know you miss us,” he says, as full of himself as ever before. “And I miss us too. I miss picking you up from work. I miss seeing Mama and talking to your uncle without it being uncomfortable, like I'm not supposed to be there when we both know I am.” As KJ leans in to kiss me, I step back, letting him fall forward, almost losing his footing.

“Damn, KJ. You got played,” Nellie says loud enough for anyone within earshot to hear. Luckily his boys haven't arrived yet. KJ doesn't look amused.

“What the hell, KJ? I know you know I'm dating Jeremy. So why would you try to kiss me, especially in front of everyone, like we're still together,” I yell at him, pissed that I'm secretly flattered by his gesture.

“I just got caught up, that's all. You could've let me sneak one in, though. No girl's ever complained about my kisses,” he says, licking his lips like he's L.L. Cool J.

“Well, find yourself someone else to get caught up with. Nellie, let's go find Mickey,” I say, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the vending machines and KJ. That's when I notice Misty, Shae, and the rest of the folks hangin' in South Central watching the whole scene. Poor KJ. I know his rep is taking a blow, but he needs to give it up. I'm just not interested in getting hurt by him again.

“This ain't over, Jayd. We deserve another shot at us. I'm calling you after school, so you better answer,” he says, flipping open his cell and pressing send. “There's Luda, right on time,” he says, referring to my ring tone. “So, don't act like you don't hear the phone when I call you later. We'll work on resetting my personal ring tone later. I'm insulted to ring with the masses.” He must be the cockiest dude I've ever met.

“Whatever, KJ,” I say, leading Nellie away from KJ and the spectators. “I'm so sick of this. When's he going to give up?” I ask, not really expecting an answer.

“When you give it up,” Nellie says, smacking on her Nacho Cheese Doritos. “Men love that shit,” she says in between bites.

“What shit are you referring to,” I ask, wondering where Jeremy is. I haven't seen him all morning. I wonder if word travels as fast on the White side of campus as it does over here.

“The hard-to-get shit. Like Beyonce says: âI know you want to taste it, but I'm gone make you chase it,'” Nellie says, popping her booty like Beyonce does in her video.

“You're so silly.” I giggle, pushing her in the arm. “And, I'm not playing. KJ's a little too much for me,” I say, telling Nellie the truth.

“He wasn't a few weeks ago,” she says, stopping in front of Mickey's class and turning to look me in the eye. “Look, Jayd. Now, you know I'm not rooting for either one of these dudes. But, KJ's definitely the better of the two, in my opinion. I think you should definitely make him sweat for the way he treated you,” she says, pausing her lecture to peek her head through the classroom door, looking for Mickey. She nods her head at Mickey, I assume, and continues.

“You have to give it to KJ. He's really humbled himself for you,” Nellie says, smacking on her Doritos.

“What?” I say, a little louder than I meant to. But that's a shocking statement coming from her. “Humbled himself how, Nellie?” I ask with my hand on my hip, in full Foxy Brown mode.

“When have you ever seen KJ, or any brotha, chase after a girl as hard as KJ's chasing after you? Doesn't that warrant some sort of forgiveness, Jayd?” I hate to admit it, but she has a good point. But still, I'm not backing down.

“Forgiveness, yes. Forgetting and making up, no. I'm not looking backwards,” I say, trying to fool myself.

“I'm not saying you should look backwards. I'm just saying you should look at KJ with fresh eyes and be a little nicer to him. He's not such a bad person or you would've never dated him in the first place, right?” Damn, why does she always have to make such good points?

“You just don't want me dating Jeremy,” I say, knowing that's only half true.

“It's true, I don't like Jeremy or his little crew. They're not good enough for us, girl,” she says just as the bell signaling the end of break rings. At least I know I'll see Jeremy in third period. “When KJ calls this afternoon, pick up the phone,” she says, poking her head back through the door to see if Mickey's done yet.

“I'll think about it,” I say, remembering my oath to be sweeter. I just pray my being nicer to KJ doesn't mess up my chance with Jeremy. Truth be told, I would consider giving KJ a second chance if I didn't like Jeremy so much from the start. Yeah, KJ's cool and all. But, Jeremy's where it's at for me now, even if I do miss the passion KJ and I shared. Maybe if I talk to KJ and let him see for himself why we can't be together, he'll back off on his own and leave me and Jeremy to ourselves, without his ego being crushed in front of everyone. Okay, I'll talk to him after school. But after Jeremy takes me home. Any time we get to spend alone is precious.

When I get out of class, everyone's rushing as usual to catch a ride or a wave, depending on their priorities. I'm heading to my locker to meet Jeremy when I run into Misty leaving the main office.

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