Scarred (Unlikely Heroes Book 5) (17 page)

Emily stared up into his beautiful face. She slipped her hand in his. “Yes.”

He pulled her toward the water. “Come on.”

Emily bent to remove her own shoes and socks, but that was all she was removing. She wasn’t about to give him an eyeful. 

He dragged her into the water.

She let out a soft gasp as the waves crashed against her calves. “It’s cold.”

Sebastian chuckled. “Not really. You’ll get used to it.” He pulled her out into deeper water.

The waves sucked at her waist, trying to drag her farther out.

“Sebastian.” She latched onto Sebastian’s arms, terrified. “I…it’s scary.”

“I’ve got you.” He drew her closer, wrapping his arms around her, as the waves crashed around them. “Let your legs go. Relax. It’s okay. You’ll float.”

Emily hesitated, then bent her knees. The water picked her up and slammed her into Sebastian, sucking them farther out to sea. She let out a little squeal of terror.

His arms tightened around her. He grinned. “See, it’s fun.”

She wanted her legs beneath her. She needed some kind of control. This was scary. The floating made her nervous. She tried to stand up, but the ocean had pulled them out into deeper water. She could no longer touch the bottom.

Panic gripped her. “I…can’t touch the bottom.” She squirmed in Sebastian’s arms, trying to turn toward the shore. “I’m scared.”

“Emily.” His gentle voice halted her struggles. “It’s all right. I’ve got you. Trust me.”

She glanced up into his face. Swallowed hard.

He tucked a lock of wet hair behind her ear. “Trust me?”

She stared into his eyes. Nodded.

“Wrap your arms around me,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist, very aware of the sleek, hard muscles beneath her hands. He was rock hard. Everywhere. The knowledge of who she was with, and where they were at, made her light-headed. Sebastian tightened his arms around her, drawing her even closer. His face was so close. Just inches away. His hard, sexy body pressed into hers, making her overly aware of his maleness. His strength.

Water splashed around them. She gasped as it drenched her face. She sputtered, clinging tighter to him. Sebastian’s mouth curved into a smile.

“I like this,” he said softly, gazing down at her. “Me and you and the water. You make me relax. I could do this for hours.” 

Emily cleared it throat. While it was nice being close to Sebastian like this, it was still scary. The water made her nervous. 

“Can we…go back now?”

His gaze searched hers. “This scares you, doesn’t it?”

She nodded. “I don’t like water. The ocean’s…powerful. Dangerous. Unpredictable.”

“It is,” he agreed. With obvious reluctance, he kicked toward shore, taking Emily with him. The waves helped push them back toward the beach. Moments later, her feet touched the bottom. He let go of her and she hurried out of the water and onto the sand. Sebastian took his time following. She sensed she’d disappointed him. Did her fears and her lack of adventure make her unexciting to him?

Though it was a warm evening, being soaking wet made Emily shiver. Sebastian bent to scoop up his shirt. Instead of pulling it on, he placed it across Emily’s shoulders.

“Thank you,” she whispered. Wasn’t he cold? He didn’t appear to be.

He stood beside her. “You and I are so different,” he said softly. “You’re careful and cautious, afraid of the unknown, while I dare death—sometimes
beg
it—to try to take me.”

Emily turned and met his gaze. “Yes.”

“You don’t feel safe unless you’re in control, not that I blame you after what you went through. Me, on the other hand, I’m reckless and daring, always taking the unknown path, going as fast as possible, testing the limits.”

“Nothing scares you, while I need…to feel safe.”

Sadness filled his eyes. “I know.” He hesitated. “Hopping onto my motorcycle was probably the most daring thing you’ve ever done, right?”

She let out a soft laugh. “Yes. But after I got over my fear, it was exhilarating.”

He smiled. “It
is
exhilarating.” His gaze searched hers. “Maybe I can help you be less afraid and you can help me be more cautious.”

She stared into his eyes. “I think we could probably do that.”

He looked at the water for a moment, then turned back to her. “Do you…feel safe with me?”

Did
she feel safe with Sebastian? Though he was a bit reckless, he’d never done anything to hurt her. Sebastian was helping her with her overly cautious nature. She’d ridden on the back of his motorcycle at crazy speeds. She’d floated out into the ocean with him where it was too deep to touch bottom. He made her feel alive for the first time in years.

“Yes.”

He glanced back out at the water. No one spoke for a long moment. They just stood side by side and watched the waves.

“I was at another beach in Alabama about a month ago. I have a rental property there on Dauphin Island.” He cleared his throat. “There was a tropical storm brewing. Waves crashing, wind billowing, heavy rain battering down…”

Emily waited, but he said no more. “Why were you in Alabama?”

He glanced back at her. “My father summoned me.” There was bitterness in his words. He sighed, glanced back out at the sea. “I wanted to end this thing with him once and for all, get him off my back. I wanted to be free of him.” He choked out a humorless laugh. “But there’s no being free of him. He’s got me by the balls. The only way I’ll be free is if he’s dead.”

A tense silence followed, the only sound that of the waves crashing along the beach and crawling up the sand toward them. Emily waited patiently. Sebastian was opening up to her more and more. She didn’t dare speak for fear he would clam up.

“I tried to get him off my back, tried to bribe him with my last dollar, told him he could have everything I owned, but that’s not want he wants.”

Her stomach twisted. “What
does
he want?”

Sebastian snorted. “Control. Of me.”

“What?” She stepped in front of him, her feet sinking into the wet sand, water sloshing around her. She barely noticed. “Why?”

Sebastian shrugged, his gaze coming back to hers. “Because he considers me his property.”

Emily’s heart clenched. What the hell? “What exactly does he want you to do?”

Sebastian stared out at the waves. He didn’t answer.

Maybe he wasn’t ready to talk about that yet. Whatever his father was making him do, he obviously didn’t like doing it. She cleared her throat. “So… what happened at the beach in Alabama?”

He glanced down at her. “We got into an argument. I told him to fuck off. I refused to do what he wanted. I told him I was done. He reminded me what would happen if I didn’t do what he wanted, essentially tightening the noose around my neck. I went back to my beach house and stared out at the storm…” He trailed off, lifted his gaze to the ocean. “I came to the conclusion I couldn’t fight him anymore, that I would never win. So I kicked off my shoes and walked outside. I headed toward the water. The sea called to me. Said it would erase all my pain if I just gave in. So I decided to let the ocean take me.”

Oh my God.
She clutched his arm. “What…stopped you?”

He swallowed hard. “Scar. He broke through the screen on the back door and rushed after me.” Sebastian choked out a laugh. “Damn dog always knew what I was feeling. He dived fearlessly into the churning waves, risking his life to save me.” He snorted. “I realized I couldn’t leave him. He was all I had.” He let out a long sigh. “And now I have nothing.” He bowed his head.

Her chest tightened. “Sebastian. You’re not alone. You have me.” She wished he would tell her everything, not just bits and pieces like this. How could she help him if she only knew half of what was going on? What was he keeping from her?

He lifted his head, his gaze seeking hers. He cupped her face in his hand, gently rubbed a thumb along her cheekbone.

“Emily.” Sebastian closed his eyes and let out a long sigh. He pulled her against him, squeezing her tight. “I don’t know what I would do without you. I’ve never had…anyone before. God, I
need
you. So fucking much.”   

She squeezed him back, then leaned away and stared up into his eyes. She needed him too. Though he didn’t know it, he was helping her face her own fears. He made her forget about her terror of letting a man touch her. He made her
want
to get closer to him, he made her
crave
his touch. Something she’d never thought would happen.

The truth was that they needed each other. As scary as it was to admit, it was true.

She held his gaze. “I need you too.”

He groaned softly, his gaze searching hers. “You’re not…just saying that?”

“No. Sebastian, I…care about you.” The admission came easier than she’d expected. She’d never told anyone that before. Perhaps the best way for him to finally be able to give in and trust her completely would be if she gave in and trusted him completely. “You don’t know how special you are, how
good
you are. We’ll get through this. We won’t let your father win. I promise I’ll be here for you, no matter what.”

Their gazes locked. There was a question in his eyes.

Can I kiss you?

Yes. Oh, yes.

Then she did what she’d been too scared to do before.

She leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Sebastian had longed for true love, for a girl as sweet and giving as Emily, for as long as he could remember. But he’d never believed he deserved true love, never believed he was loveable. His father was a criminal. Sebastian had grown up around crime,
committing
crimes. He was ashamed of his childhood, of his upbringing. Ashamed of his father and his barbaric ways. That was why he’d fled. That was why he’d tried to wipe himself clean of his past. But his father had found him. The past had caught up with him. There was no escaping what he’d done. There was no denying his roots.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

No, I’m not like him. I’m not.

Emily’s words came back to him, filling him with hope:
You don’t know how special you are, how good you are.

Emily.

She made him forget how worthless and pathetic he was. She made him feel wanted, needed. Could she truly care about him? Was it possible she might someday love him?

Emily didn’t know why he’d never had a committed relationship with a woman before, why he’d never let his heart get involved. She didn’t know why he kept himself aloof.

It wasn’t fair to her to keep it a secret any longer. Some things he preferred to keep a secret from her, but not this. She needed to know why he was the way he was. She needed to know the danger she would be in if she pursued this relationship with him. He needed to warn her.

Even if the thought of losing her hurt so much he didn’t think he’d be able to bear it.

Her tentative kiss, her soft, sweet mouth turned him on more than he would have thought possible. He wrapped his arms around her, pressing her against him, and kissed her back. God, she felt so good in his arms, she tasted so good against his lips. She was the balm to soothe his wounded soul. She might be the only thing that could heal him.

The simple press of lips against lips quickly turned into something more powerful, something desperate and needy. Their tongues met, tangled in an erotic dance. Heat shot through him, igniting a fire in his loins and burning a path through his bloodstream. He didn’t want to stop. He wanted to devour her. All of her. He wanted to lock them in his beach house and shut the world out. Forget about everything but her.

Breaths ragged, hearts pounding, they finally drew back. Sebastian stared down at her. Her eyes were dark and clouded with passion, her cheeks flushed, her lips rosy and wet. His shirt had fallen off her shoulders and lay in the sand at their feet. Her clothes clung to her like a second skin, wet from the ocean, her beautiful breasts outlined against the thin fabric of her shirt. Her nipples jutted out eagerly, begging for his touch.

He kissed her again, hungrily, his hand closing around her breast, his fingers tweaking a hard nipple. She gasped. Fuck, she had perfect breasts. He wanted to strip her wet clothes off and feel her naked skin beneath his hands. Taste her. Suck her nipple into his mouth, make her moan and squirm with desire.

He wanted her. So damn much.

She pressed her hands against his chest, pulling her mouth from his. “Sebastian.”

Her breathless voice jerked him out of his lust-filled haze.

Reality crashed home.

Slow down, man. Don’t scare her away. 

He groaned and stepped back, gazing down at her. “I’m sorry.”

“No.” She held his gaze. “Don’t be sorry. I like it when you kiss me. Just…slow down a bit, okay? I’m still a little overwhelmed by what’s between us. It’s kind of scary. I need time to adjust.”

She was overwhelmed? Hell, so was he. It
was
scary. But it was also good. Being around her, being in her arms, freed his damaged soul. He’d never needed anyone the way he needed her. But was it fair to her to let her get involved with him? He needed to tell her why he was the way he was.

“There’s something you need to know, Emily. There’s a reason why I don’t get close to people. A reason why I’ve never had a romantic entanglement.”

Her gaze latched on his. “What is it? Tell me.”

Shit. Would the truth scare her away? “I…my father has taken away everything I ever cared about: my mother, my puppy, my friends, my privacy, my identity. He doesn’t want me to be happy. So the only way I can keep from losing anyone or anything else is to keep myself at a distance. If I get close to you, he’ll hurt you. He’ll take you away from me. And I…God, I don’t think…” He trailed off, words failing him. “I can’t lose you Emily. Getting involved with me would be dangerous for you. If my father finds out, he’ll do something to break us apart, I know he will.”

She squeezed both his hands in hers. “I don’t care. You’re my friend. I want to be with you. I’m not afraid of your father.”

He groaned. “You should be. You don’t know him. He’s cunning and evil and he’s hated me since I was born. He’ll do anything he can to make me suffer. I’m afraid he’ll hurt you.”

She held his gaze. “Tell the jerk to bring it on. We will fight him. And we will win.”

She was dead serious. Sebastian stared into her pretty brown eyes, witnessed the strength and determination there. She was so strong. He wanted to be more like her.

But she didn’t know his father. She had no idea what the man was like or how dangerous he was. His father would chew her up and spit her out like a bag of unshelled sunflower seeds. 

She didn’t know the threat that hung over Sebastian like an ominous black cloud, or the secret he feared he could never tell her. His father didn’t make idle threats. Sebastian had no choice but to do whatever his father wanted. This wasn’t just about Sebastian. He wished it was. Then he could truly tell his father to go to hell. But his father had such a tight noose around his neck that Sebastian doubted he would ever be able to live the life he wanted. Right now, keeping his father happy was his only option. Emily told him to fight, but she didn’t know fighting got him nowhere. So he had to give the man what he wanted.

He sighed. “Let’s go inside. It’s late. I’m sure you’re getting cold.”

They walked back to the house in silence. Talking about his father had ruined the mood, as usual. Any mention of his father ruined everything.

“You can have any room you want.” Sebastian motioned down the hallway. “I’ll just…hang out here and watch a movie or something.”

She turned toward him and took his hands in hers again. “Let’s watch a movie together. You have any popcorn?”

* * *

After changing into dry clothes, they settled on Sebastian’s leather couch in front of a big screen television that hung on the wall and watched a Jim Carrey comedy, eating microwave popcorn and drinking soda. They sat close together, shoulder to shoulder, and Emily couldn’t recall ever being so comfortable around a man that she could relax like this. Sebastian was the only person who had that effect on her.

There was one point in the movie when Emily laughed so hard she couldn’t breathe. Sebastian chuckled next to her. Then he laughed too. It was a beautiful sound. Had Sebastian ever allowed himself to be happy before?

They laughed harder, tears rolling down their cheeks. Emily bent forward, trying to catch her breath, her sides heaving. Finally she sat up, her gaze colliding with his. “My stomach muscles hurt. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard before.”

Sebastian’s eyes twinkled. “Me either.”

He was absolutely beautiful when he smiled.

They stared at each other.

The air around them changed, electrified. Emily’s breath caught.

Sebastian leaned toward her, his gaze on hers.

He paused. Waited.

She stared into his eyes.

The sounds of the movie blended into the background. Her senses filled with Sebastian…

His warm breath heating her neck.

His beautiful lips just millimeters away, tempting her.

His tantalizing scent that made her stomach muscles clench with longing whenever she breathed him in.

That sexy dark hair she ached to run her fingers through.

Those mesmerizing eyes that held hers now, searching, waiting.

Her heart pounded.

I want to touch him.

Do it.

I don’t know if I can. I’m not that brave.

Just do it.

She lifted her hand. Hesitated. Cupped his cheek in her palm.

Something hot and needy flared in his eyes. He covered her hand with his, then, slowly, he turned his head. His tongue flicked out, licking her index finger.

Emily sucked in a breath.

He drew her finger into his mouth and gently sucked.

Heat flared through her, settling deep into her core. She let out a soft gasp.

Sebastian’s gaze never left hers.

She wanted to pull her hand back.

No, she didn’t.

He licked along her finger, pulled it back into his mouth again.

Emily’s breaths grew shallow. Heat coiled in her lower abdomen, hotter and hotter, making her squirm.

“Sebastian.”

He let go of her hand. She pulled it back into her lap.

His gaze remained steady on hers. “I want to do that to every single inch of you. Will you let me?”

Her cheeks flamed. Her heart raced faster. He wanted to do that…everywhere? Seriously?

The heat in her lower abdomen intensified. The thought of his lips, his tongue all over her…

Oh. My. God.  

He waited, his gaze never leaving hers.

Patiently.

The seconds ticked past.

Patiently.

Her breathing quickened.

She leaned toward him, into him. She couldn’t help it. Her body wanted to feel his lips all over, even if her brain was still trying to fathom such a thing.

He caught her against him, rolling back onto the couch and pulling her on top of him. Her breasts squished against his chest, her hips settling against his. She stared down at his beautiful face, those enticing lips that begged her to kiss them.

He watched her without speaking. Waiting. Always waiting for her to say what happened next.

He was such a gentleman.

I want him.

Heat throbbed harder in her core, making her inner muscles clench with need.

I want his lips all over me.

Crap. What was he doing to her? She’d never wanted this before.

I want him to make love to me.  

Sebastian stared into her eyes. Still waiting.

“So, uh…” Emily cleared her throat. “What do we do now?”

“What do you want to do?” His voice was husky, his drawl lazy and seductive.

“I…” She swallowed hard. “I want you to do that…what you said.” Heat scorched her cheeks. She jerked her gaze away. Had she just admitted that? Seriously?

“Do what?” His voice was soft, coaxing, patient.

Her breath whooshed out. She pulled her gaze back to his. His eyes swirled with unmistakable lust. And tenderness. She couldn’t look away.

Kiss me. Everywhere.

He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “You sure?”

Oh crap. Had she said that out loud?

“Y-yes. I think…I would like that very much.”

He lifted his head off the couch, brushing his lips against hers. Softly. Seductively.

Emily sighed. He fell away, leaning back against the couch again, his gaze on her. Watching. Waiting.

“Again?” he whispered, his voice husky.

She didn’t answer. Instead she tangled her fingers in that glorious hair and brushed her lips against his. Once. Twice. He made a soft, rumbling sound in his throat. She leaned back.

His arms came around her, anchoring her in place. “Don’t go.” His hands gently stroked up and down her sides. “We’re just getting started.”

She looked into his eyes, her heart thundering. This was scary, yet…nice. “I…like being with you like this.” Embarrassed heat crawled over her skin. Her breathing quickened. Could she be more of a dork?

“Me too.” He cupped the back of her neck and gently drew her mouth down to his. Their lips brushed again. Oh so softly.

Emily moaned.

This was more than nice. This was incredible.

She tightened her fingers in his hair. He was making her hot. Making her burn. Everywhere. She rocked her hips against his, trying to ease the burning ache between her thighs. She hadn’t known she could get so hot and dizzy with desire like this. That Sebastian could make her feel all breathless and needy like this.

Then again, this was Sebastian. The man she’d been crushing on since she was fifteen years old.

But what she felt now certainly wasn’t a crush. It was so much…more. 

Sebastian panted out a breath, his gaze hot on hers.

It was those mesmerizing light blue eyes, those sexy lips, that gorgeous masculine face, that sexy dark hair and his hot, muscular body that had helped her survive her forced captivity and repeated rape at the hands of a sick, twisted man.