Scarred (Unlikely Heroes Book 5) (10 page)

He held a hand out to her. “Let me help you up. Did you break anything?”

He’d ignored her question. No surprise there. He was good at avoidance. Emily took his hand and let him pull her to her feet. She vowed she would get the truth out of him. And she expected some answers tonight. 

“No, I don’t think I broke anything. Mostly just scared myself. I’ll probably have a few bruises later, but I think that’s all.”

He sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you like that. You want to sit down for a moment?”

Emily slowly walked over to the couch, testing her legs. Her left shin ached, but other than that, her legs were fine. Nothing broken.

She sank onto the couch. Sebastian glanced down at her. She noticed for the first time that he was dressed in black gym shorts and a light blue tank top that hugged his muscular torso. The armholes of the shirt were large and gaped away from his sides, revealing well-defined chest muscles and strong arms.
Dear God.
Why hadn’t she noticed how sexy his arms were before? Because the Polos he generally wore were loose fitting and had sleeves. He might as well be shirtless as much as the tank top covered.

She let her gaze travel over his rock hard abs that were clearly defined by the tight shirt, then down to his strong legs. Lean and muscular and dusted with hair, even the man’s legs were perfect.

Her breath caught. Why did he have to be so gorgeous?

Sebastian in the flesh was so much more beautiful than Sebastian on the big screen.

Beautiful on the outside. Damaged on the inside.

Sadness consumed her. Sebastian was a good person. He just needed…help.

“After that fall, I don’t suppose you’re up for a Krav Maga lesson right now?”

She jerked her gaze back to his, her cheeks flaming. Had he noticed her staring?

“Uh, not particularly, though I admit I want to kick your ass.”

A dark brow shot up. “Why is that?”

“Because you keep keeping your secrets. When are you going to share?”

He sighed. “I want to tell you. I just…”

She reached out and grabbed his hand. “I know. It’s not easy.” She hesitated. “Wanna sit with me?”

His gaze flicked to the empty couch next to her, then back to hers. “I need…to work out right now. Sorry.” He headed for the stairs. Emily stared after him as he bounded up the stairs to his house, two at a time. Moments later the door slammed.

How would she get him to talk if he turned tail and ran every time?

How had her therapist forced the truth out of her? By being patient, waiting, encouraging her. She could do those things. If she patiently waited, would Sebastian talk to her eventually? Or would he keep putting her off and putting her off? She wasn’t a therapist. Not even close. She was just a girl who’d been through hell and back and survived. Maybe the best way to get Sebastian to talk would be to tell him her story first. Opening up to him like that terrified her, but he’d been seriously damaged by something and the darkness was eating away at him day by day. She’d witnessed the feral look in his eyes moments ago. That hadn’t been Sebastian. He needed help. What if she was the only one who could save him?

Emily pushed herself up from the couch. She headed for the stairs. Paused.

You can do this, Emily. You can help him. He needs you.

She mounted the first step. Then the next. Up she went, clear to the top.

Loud music clicked on from somewhere inside Sebastian’s house, the bass thudding through the walls.

Emily hesitated. If she knocked, he wouldn’t hear her. Should she just go in? She reached for the door knob.

The knob turned beneath her hand. He’d forgotten to lock it after he’d gone back up.

Maybe she should leave him alone.

He needs help. He needs you.

Emily pushed the door open and took a step into the room.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

The music was louder with the door open. Emily recognized the song. Adam Lambert’s
Runnin
blared from a stereo system across the room.  

Sebastian stood in the center of the room, attacking a black punching bag. She stared as he pummeled the bag with his fists, over and over, in tune with the music.

Pound.

Pound.

Pound.

Pound.

Pound pound pound pound.

Pound pound pound pound.

What was he running so hard to get away from?

He didn’t notice her, he was so engrossed in what he was doing. He kept attacking the bag like he wanted to destroy it.

Pound pound pound pound.

The room was filled with various exercise equipment, including a treadmill, the punching bag, weights, and a mat for sparring. She didn’t know what some of the equipment was used for, but she imagined it all had something to do with fighting and/or self-defense. Was this the “gym” Sebastian had been referring to?

She stepped farther into the room, watching him.

He kept beating at the bag, again and again, in tune with the music, releasing his aggression. Or something else. Was this how he tried to rid himself of his demons?

The song ended.

Sebastian stopped. He grabbed onto the bag, leaning into it, breathing heavily. His head lifted as he sensed her presence, his gaze darting to hers.

He pushed away from the bag and strode toward the stereo, yanking the boxing wraps from his hands as he went. He tossed the wraps aside, letting them fall to the floor.

He picked up a remote and shut the stereo off.

Then he spun around and strode toward her.

Nerves trickled down her spine. She was completely alone with him. In his lair.

It’s just Sebastian, you idiot. He’s harmless.

Was he? What did she know about him, really? Not much.

Sebastian would never hurt me.  

“You decide you’re ready for a lesson?” He paused before her, all that hard, sexy maleness just inches away.

She forced herself to hold his gaze and not stare at his beautiful body. “No. I…I want to talk to you about something.”

His mask shifted into place, settling over his features and shutting him off from her.

“Stop acting,” she whispered. “It’s just me, Sebastian. Please don’t hide from me.”

He sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He opened his eyes and stared down at her. “It’s just…instinctive. I’ve done it for so long that sometimes I don’t realize I’m even doing it.”

She gazed up into his beautiful face. “I’ve decided I’m going to tell you what happened to me, and in exchange, I expect you to tell me about what happened to you.”

Fear flickered across his face before he turned away from her and headed toward the kitchen around the corner.

“I would offer you an alcoholic beverage, Emily, but I don’t drink anymore. I can’t have any type of addictive substance in my house. I’m too weak. Scar helped me deal with it before. But now…” His voice trailed off into silence.

His sadness seeped under her skin, slithering into her chest, making her heart ache for him. He was so lost and alone. And hurting. She wanted to help him.

Emily hesitantly followed him. She sank onto a bar stool at the counter while he went to the refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of water. He handed one to her across the counter, then unscrewed the lid on his and took a long swallow. He avoided her gaze.

“I’m surprised you don’t have a big, fancy mansion like most celebrities. I didn’t expect you to have a normal house like this.”

He shrugged. “I live alone. What would I do with a mansion?”

Emily studied him. She was starting to understand the man beneath the handsome face. “And a big mansion would just announce that someone with money lived there, bringing attention to you. You don’t want that, do you? You like to hide.”

He turned away from her, staring at something across the room, giving her a full view of his beautiful profile. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

He drew in a ragged breath. “Because I have a lot to hide.”

A long, tense silence followed.

Emily never took her eyes off him, but he wouldn’t look at her.

“I know what it’s like to feel so lost and alone, Sebastian, to have so much despair that you just want to die.”

His gaze darted to hers. A stricken look settled into his face. “No,” he whispered. “I don’t want to believe that. You were supposed to be innocent and pure. Untouched by evil. Undamaged. Unbroken.”

Emily held his gaze. “Evil did more than just touch me.” She took a deep breath, then forced the air back out of her lungs.

You can do this, Emily. Tell him. Tell him and make him tell you.

He set the water bottle on the countertop. “I don’t know if I want to hear this.”

Emily choked out a laugh. “I don’t know if I want to tell you. But you
need
this, Sebastian. If you want to heal, to overcome your demons, then you need this as much as I do.”

It was true. While she’d told her therapist what had happened to her, she’d told no one else, not even her father. The truth would hurt her father too much, so she’d never told him. She couldn’t hurt him that way.

But Sebastian was damaged. He needed to know he wasn’t the only one who was so scarred inside. He needed to know he wasn’t alone.

He scooped up his water, untwisted the cap, and took another gulp. “I wish this was beer. I want to get drunk.” His movements were jerky with agitation. Did he want to flee?

“So you turned to alcohol, drugs, when the pain became unbearable?”

He lowered his gaze. “Yeah. I thought I could escape into a drunken void, that if I was in a continuous high, stoned out of my mind, it would help with the pain. But it didn’t work.”

Of course it didn’t.
Emily’s heart ached for him. Whatever he’d suffered still clung to him, refusing to let him go.

“You want to know what I did? Instead of turning to drugs or alcohol, I withdrew into myself, creating a wall around myself and keeping everyone outside of it. I threw myself into my schooling, put my education before everything else, and graduated from the top veterinary school in the nation. I deliberately set high goals for myself because I knew it would keep me focused, so I couldn’t dwell on the past. I know my methods of dealing with the pain were different than yours, but I understand what you’re going through. I’ve been there.”  

His gaze bounced back to hers. He waited, unspeaking, his expression anxious. And…curious.

“But that was afterwards. You want to know what I did
during
the nightmare?”

His gaze never left hers. Still, he didn’t speak.

Should she go on? Yes. As difficult as it was, she
had
to do this.

“I went to another place, pretended I was somewhere else. That I was with someone else, doing some
thing
else.”

A long silence stretched. He stared at her. She stared back, trying to be brave, trying to find the words to continue.

“What happened to you, Emily?” His voice was soft, barely a whisper. His expression changed to full blown curiosity.

She closed her eyes, drew in a shaky breath. “When I was fifteen…” She opened her eyes and stared down at the marble countertop. “…I was abducted by a man who held me captive in his basement for three years.”

Sebastian drew in a sharp breath. “Fuck.”

She forced herself to look into his eyes. She had to be brave. She had to show him she could do it, and he could to.

“He always wore a hood so I couldn’t see his face, but I had the eerie sensation I knew him somehow. At first he just played mind games with me, said he was punishing my father by taking me. But then, when I turned sixteen…” she broke off, drew in another breath for courage. “He made me touch him, do things with him. He took me upstairs to his bedroom and raped me, said I was so beautiful that he couldn’t help himself.”

Sebastian scooped up his water bottle and flung it across the room. It slammed into the wall with a splat and bounced to the floor.

“Son-of-a-bitch!”

Emily flinched. She lowered her gaze. “I never fought him. I was too scared. I just sat there and let him…do that to me. I was…so ashamed. Why wasn’t I courageous enough to fight back? Then one day I challenged him. I told him he was only able to abduct me because I was a stupid kid. I said he couldn’t abduct a famous person. He said he’d prove me wrong. So he kidnapped Jennie Jones, a famous horse trainer, just to show me he could do it.”

Sebastian stared at her across the countertop, unspeaking.

“He chained her to the bed next to mine. He would beat her to punish me, to torture me.” She closed her eyes. “He made me watch. He never hit me, he just raped me. I don’t know what was worse. Being beaten or being raped. He was a sick bastard. I felt so guilty that he’d captured Jennie. It was all my fault. But some good came out of it because Jennie gave me courage. She told me to never give up, that we would escape him one day. We came up with this plan, and then she managed to escape into the woods. It was the middle of the winter. My dad found her in the river. He saved her.”

Sebastian’s gaze delved into hers, an intense captivation in his eyes. “They came back and rescued you?”

Emily nodded. “Eventually. Jennie lost her memory when the car crashed into the river. She hit her head on the windshield. It was several days before she remembered what had happened. Our abductor went after her and tried to get her back. There was this wolf—Gray—that he found as a pup and took hostage with me. Gray escaped with Jennie. Gray attacked him, injured him pretty good. He made me fix up his bite wounds. I was going to try to escape, but he sobbed and said it hurt, to please help him.” She let out a snort of disgust. “I was so pathetic. When I had a chance to escape, I went back and helped the man who had abused me instead.”

A tear trickled down her cheek. She’d forgotten how difficult it was to tell the story. It had been years since she’d told her counselor.

Sebastian came around the counter. He pulled her off the stool and into his arms, holding her close, enveloping her in his warmth, his strength. For a man who claimed he didn’t know how to touch, how to comfort, he was doing remarkably well. Emily wrapped her arms around his waist and held on. He was so strong. If only he realized how much.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, pressing a kiss against her forehead.

She hitched in a breath. “He was too hurt to take me back down to the basement, so he tied me to the bedpost on his bed. When he fell asleep, the hood slipped aside and I saw his face. I realized who he was.”

Sebastian brushed her hair away from her face, tucking a strand behind her ear. “Who was he?”

Emily swallowed hard. “My uncle. Ian. I stole his cellphone out of his pocket and texted my dad. Ian woke up before I finished. I hit ‘send’ anyway, hoping my dad would realize it was from me. I smacked the phone aside before Ian could read what I sent.” She gulped in air. “He slapped me then. Called me a stupid little bitch. He started packing a bag and said we were leaving. He left the room and while he was gone I managed to untie myself from the bed. I snuck out the front door into the freezing cold. He came after me and dragged me back in. I got away again and ran out to the garage. My dad and Jennie showed up then. Jennie tackled him and told me to run. Ian took Jennie and sped away. My dad took me home. Then he went after Ian and got Jennie back. Ian’s in prison now.” Emily cleared her throat. “That was eight years ago. I finished my high school education online, then went to college. I didn’t make any friends. I was too ashamed of what had happened to me. I kept to myself. I erected a wall to keep everyone away. I was too afraid to trust anyone, to get close to anyone.”

Sebastian squeezed her against him again. “You’re amazing,” he whispered. “So strong. How do you stay so sweet and
good
, after all that?”

Emily stepped back and looked into his eyes. “I didn’t let what happened to me take away my soul. It damaged me, hurt me, but I fought back. I didn’t let it control me. Smokey helped me a lot, too. He helped me heal.”

“Smokey?”

“My dad’s horse. I spent a lot of time with Smokey, learning to heal. I’m sure Scar helped you the way Smokey helped me.”

Sebastian drew back, his face closing off. Emily grabbed his arm before he could turn away. “Oh no you don’t. I just told you my biggest secret. You’re not sneaking away, Sebastian.”

He groaned. “I’m not like you. I’ve done bad things. I can’t…share. It’s too…unsettling. I’m not…good.”

She held his gaze. “Yes, you are. Do you know how hard it was to tell you all that?”

He sighed. “I know, it’s just…”

“You owe me at least one secret. Right now, damn you. You can’t keep hiding if you want to heal.”

He squeezed his eyes shut.

Did he think if he closed his eyes, she would go away?

“Tell me about how you met Craig and Karen.”