Scarred (Lost Series Book 2) (11 page)

I let his touch burn me. To ashes. Because eventually, I’d rise again.

River

H
e carried me to our bed. We stayed silent. I didn't think there was much we could have said. There was something different between us now, some wall had been broken down. Maybe because I wasn’t going to fight what I wanted anymore; maybe because he finally said yes.

Whatever it was, I wouldn’t question it because my whole being was on fire. He let my body slide down against his until my feet touched the floor.

He held my gaze with his as he ran his hands over my shoulders to the neck of my shirt. Then he bunched the material and pulled, ripping it open. Sucking in a breath, I helped him get the rags off me. He didn’t take my bra off. Instead, he pushed his fingers into the cups and pulled my breast up and out so they were framed with black lace.

Finally his gaze dropped as he looked at my breasts. Fuck, just his eyes on me made me hot. I could feel my nipples stiffening. I wanted his mouth and teeth against my body, his special bite of pain to make the pleasure sweeter. I needed it. He was being too nice, too sweet. I needed more. I gripped his shoulders and dug my nails, piercing his shirt. He chuckled, a dark sound that went straight to my pussy.

“It’s coming,” he promised. And then his hand was at my throat, just tight enough for me to know it was there.

As his head lowered he pushed me back by my neck, bowing my back over his arm. When he pulled me closer to him he sucked my nipple into his mouth. I could feel his tongue working over the tip, teasing it, a moment before hit bit down. Yes. Just like that. That was what I wanted. I threaded my hands through his hair and held his head to my body. Raking my nails over his scalp, I tried to pull him closer, but his fingers tightened on my throat.

“Fucking impatient,” he said around my nipple. My world shifted when he pushed me back. I fell on the bed with a little bounce. He was the sexiest man alive as he walked around the bed to a side table and rummaged through the drawer.

“This will help.” The long red rope blazed in the dim light. “Lift your legs and grip your knees. Make sure they are nice and spread.”

I did as he requested, opening my legs and gripping my knees. Ethan used the roped to bind my hands to my legs, looping the rope around and around on both sides. Then he ran his fingers over my pussy, his touch muted by the cloth of my pants.

“In the way.” He gripped the hem, with my panties, and pulled them up my legs until they met where the rope was tied. I was secured and couldn’t move my legs much at all.

“Now let’s show you what that impatience has gotten you.”

He got off the bed and stripped. There wasn’t much of him that didn’t have some sort of nick or scar. His stars were large on his chest. But now I noticed more, the tiger on the right side of his body, climbing up his rib cage. There were skulls riding his left hip. Marks of danger, his life, and so much more. The ink was an odd faded blue, but they looked beautiful against his skin. He’d gotten the work done in prison, he must have.

He was so battered, a warrior who had survived a multitude of wounds. And he was mine. His cock, sitting out so proud and thick was mine. It would be inside of me, driving me crazy. I wanted it.

“Is this what you want?” he asked as he gripped it. I watched him pump it. The head was almost red as it leaked.

“Yes,” I answered him.

“Open wide.”

I did as I was told. He climbed on the bed straddled my chest. The angle was odd, but it worked when he shifted his hips forward and his dick slid between my lips. He tasted so fucking good. Hot and salty against my tongue. He worked his hips, going deeper into my mouth. Each glide of his cock into my mouth made my womb clench. He was big enough to stretch my lips wide.

“That’s it. Suck it.”

He rose above me and twisted his hand in my hair. He used the anchor to help angle my head back and he slid deeper. Almost too deep. I swallowed, trying to relax. I never took a man down my throat, and the urge to gag hit me.

“No, take it. You wanted it so bad. Take all of it. If you had waited, I would have gone slower.”

He pinched my nose and pushed his hips down. I tried to inhale through my mouth and couldn’t, he slid in instead. It felt odd, constricting. He worked his dick in and out of my throat, until I felt almost raw. I couldn’t breathe as darkness winked in and out of my vision.

“Fuck, just like that.”

I couldn’t explain it. I felt light, like I was floating in the air. I wanted to struggle, felt tears slide down my face, but I could feel moisture leaking from my pussy. As his groin pressed against my face over and over again, all I could do was marvel. I was taking him all, down my throat, swallowing him. Then I was heavy. I couldn’t keep my eyes open, and my toes felt numb.

“Stay with me.”

I tried to force my eyes open, to look at him, but I couldn’t fight it. Then he pulled from my throat, the sudden exit making fire blaze over my nerve endings, and I could breathe. I took a breath, gasping, as he slid down my body. I couldn’t get my bearings as he got behind my tied legs and pushed his cock against my pussy.

“Stay the fuck with me.”

His demand couldn’t be ignored. I forced my eyes open and oxygen into my lungs as he slammed inside of me. All of it together was too much. I was coming, riding an edge I hadn’t known existed. His cock battered my pussy, opening it nearly too wide. I couldn’t scream, couldn’t move.

Everything around us disappeared. All I cared about was that fuzzy place in my mind where I was trapped by pure pleasure. I didn’t care how much it hurt, or how rough he was being. His nails biting into my thighs were pinpricks of fire, his cock the magnetic north of my compass, and his voice my guide.

I followed him, blindly, letting go. I didn’t need to think or reason. This was us, fucked up, rough, and dirty. I didn’t need softness here, because I didn’t worry he’d take me too far. I gave my body into his keeping, and it was the most wonderful feeling I ever had.

“Yes!” I finally screamed. Ethan laughed, lifting my legs higher. The angle change drove him deeper, hitting some pleasure zone. Each thrust was painfully perfect until all I could do was ride the waves.

“Come again,” he demanded. He let go of one leg and ran his nails down the inside of my thigh. That was all the preparation I got before he slapped my clit. The world exploded. My head tossed back, mouth gaped open, I was lost for words. Each tweak to my nipples pushed me higher. Each pinch of my clit was sweeter.

And then I was crashing through the sky, at lightning speed. My stomach was in my throat. Ethan was a rollercoaster of so many things. Pleasure and pain. Hurt and happiness. His strength and my weakness. We were two halves of a whole that clicked together when we were in bed. And as I came down, feeling his climax explode through me, I wondered if everything in our life happened so we could come together like this.

Wouldn’t it be sweet to know the hell we endured was so we could know our own sort of tainted heaven?

Right now, that was exactly how it felt. Even as he untied my legs and tossed the rope across the room, I was floating. He took time to strip me of my remaining garments before pulling me into his arms. If he hadn’t moved me, I don’t think I would have been able to.

“River—” Whatever he was about to say was interrupted by knock on the door.

“Pavel better have a damn good reason for taking you out of my bed,” I grumbled.

“Your bed?”

I just looked at Ethan to get my point across. His smile was my reward, and it warmed me up. Then he was getting out of bed to answer the door. Pavel held out a phone.

“They are calling.”

“Stay,” he said to Pavel as he took the phone and left. Pavel stepped into the room as I tucked the covers closer around me. He smiled as he pulled a curved blade with a loop on one end from his boot.

“This one is yours. When you know how to use it right, I’ll give you the other one.”

I nodded as Pavel put the knife on the nightstand.  I was too tired to wonder why he was giving me the knife, or where Ethan had gone. In the morning I’d remember to ask.

For now, I needed to recover from finally consummating my marriage.

When I said something, I meant it. If someone tested me, they regretted it.

Ethan

I
made sure to get into my foyer before speaking on the phone. “Da?”

“You have balls to require such a short notice meeting, Pantera.”

“Anatoly, you know I wouldn’t if it wasn’t important.”

Anatoly was the man who first acknowledged me. Gave me my first few missions to test me. It was he, along with Pavel, who shouldered the burden of vouching for me and my ways. I was bratva without them, but they made me captain, I was a made man because of their support.

And he could have betrayed me.

I didn’t want to think it was possible, but in the Brotherhood, anything was possible. Usually though, touching another vor caused an uproar. Between the four of us, we ran segmented areas of the West Coast’s illegal trades. We also had a hand in multiple legitimate companies. It made washing our money easy, and kept the coppers we didn’t have on payroll out of our fucking hair.

“For you to come back home, it must be.”

Home. I didn’t know what that word meant anymore. But for Anatoly, this would be home for me. The vineyard I owned was on the outskirts of his territory. No one touched it, and he kept it open for me. It was a tie between us that made him my mentor. Pavel taught me what being bratva meant, but Anatoly taught me how to lead this vicious band of thugs.

But I’d kill him just the same if he was helping Derrick.

“What is wrong?” he asked. I wondered for a moment if I should tell him anything. If there was a chance he had been the one to help Derrick out, knowing me and my operation so well made him a prime suspect, then telling him now allowed him to prepare. I wanted to see their reactions, get a feel for my enemy. A face to face meeting would be better.

“It’s business that needs to be put before the Council.”

Anatoly was quiet for a moment. Small clicking sounds chimed over the phone before four other voices stated they were there. Anatoly, Grigory, Evgeny, Samuel, another a vor because of his political ties, and I were now all connected on the line.

“This is not exactly what I meant,” I said.

“I am aware, Pantera, but your threat made things a little shaky. You would attack other vors?” Grigory asked. Head of drug and girl trafficking, if there was another vor that was as deadly as I was, it was him. I like the son of a bitch all well and good, but his tone didn’t scare me.

“Grigory, we’ve been wanting to see who could kill the other first for a long time. Might be a good time,” I said. Grigory chuckled like I knew he would, but neither of us were playing. We respected each other because neither of us knew quite who would win. Grigory could want to help Derrick just to fuck with me.

“There is no need to start a war for a pissing contest.” Samuel chimed in. “The House meets in thirty minutes, so I do not have the time for games. What’s going on?”

It was tempting to give the little shit a piece of my mind. Samuel was vor because of what he could do for our kind. He paved roads, put judges, lawyers, coppers, and political persons in our corner. I didn’t underestimate him though. What he lacked in brute strength he could more than make up for in maneuvering and manipulation. I wondered if he and Derrick’s father came into dealings at any time.

“Are you done?” I asked. I couldn’t help messing with him, just a little. He might fuck my life up, but he’d probably die while I was rotting in some fucking prison. He knew it as well as I did.

“I think he is,” Evgeny stated. His voice was scratchy, almost like a harsh whisper. He had his throat cut a few years back in an assassination attempt and never got his voice back. Still, when he spoke, people listened. Samuel didn’t say anything else.

Of them all, Evgeny was the enigma. He worked in import and export for all the families. His job was to keep everything moving swiftly overseas. His newest trade acquisition with the Chinese Triad had our pockets very full. He spent most of his time traveling back and forth between California, New York, and overseas. But after every trip, he came home for a mandatory stay to make sure his house was in order. I couldn’t see how a connection with Derrick could benefit him, but I wouldn’t ignore the possibility.

“We need to meet face to face, that was what I requested.”

“Obviously that isn’t possible. We all have business to attend to in our own territories,” Samuel said.

“Speak for yourself. I agreed to meet,” Grigory said.

“As did I,” Anatoly added.

“Are you traveling, Evgeny?” I asked.

“No.”  That was it. A simple answer that told me nothing.

Anatoly sighed. “What is going on, Pantera?”

Did I answer, or did I press my case? The fact that I was even thinking about it, irritated the shit out of me. I looked over my shoulder, back at the stairs. It was because of River. Making good on my threat could bring her into harm’s way, but not sticking to my word meant the others would think less of me.

She knew what she was dealing with when she came after me, and I couldn’t stop being who I was. To do so could mean my death. And that meant she’d be left wide open. I couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to examine too closely why I felt like that, but once the thought hit, it entrenched itself into my brain.

So I would make good on my threat.

“You will meet me, in a place of your choosing this evening, or I make good on my promise.”

“Pantera—”

“Your homes will be made as unsafe as mine was,” I said. I didn’t give a shit about what Samuel had to say.

“Come outside, Pantera. We will meet,” Anatoly said before the line went dead.

Well, that wasn’t the answer I was expecting. “Fuck.”

I was still ass naked. I jogged back up the stairs to put clothes on. River was sound asleep, curled around my pillow. The sight made me freeze. She was holding on to me. He nose was buried in the cloth, like she was breathing me in, and I felt my heart cease. A heart I didn’t know could still beat for anyone. This frail yet strong woman, needed me. For the first time, I saw her as more than a possession. My ring on her finger glinted in the dim light. She was mine. She was stronger than I gave her credit for, but weaker than she needed to be to survive in my world. At that moment I realized I wanted to make her unafraid. Of me, of the world. Because she was my woman and she deserved to hold her head high, to fight what anyone fucking gave her if she didn’t want it.

And then I wanted her to bend for me, because she wanted to.

I felt like I’d been punched in the gut. Fuck. This wasn’t the time or the place for these thoughts, but there it was. I wanted Derrick gone because he tested me, but more so because he made her afraid. I wanted to hear him beg her for forgiveness. And I wanted her to be strong enough to crush his windpipe under her boot because she didn’t need his bullshit apologies.

As I pulled on my slacks, I noticed the blade that Pavel had given her. I’d be sure to let him know to train her vigorously. She didn’t need to fight Derrick, but she needed to feel stronger. And that’s when I understood why she fought me so hard. I couldn’t change what I did. I wouldn’t want to. I loved being the monster. But, maybe, somewhere down the line, I’d become her monster.

I was going to make her one too.

I smiled into the darkness as I tucked in my shirt. Two fucking monsters, taking on the world. I liked the sound of that. I finished dressing as quickly as I could before walking silently over to her side of the bed.

“Sleep well, deteynsh.” Cub, I called her, with claws that could rip and tear. Given enough time, I’d give her the teeth to match. I bent and kissed her forehead, the motion alien and natural at the same time, before heading out the door.

“Pavel, stay with her. If it goes bad, take her to the panic room and get her out,” I ordered. Pavel nodded as he leaned against the wall in front of the bedroom door.

It was time to find out who our enemies were.

* * *

The cool night air wrapped around me as I stepped outside. I made sure to put on my holster with my two nine millimeters, and strap my blade to my thigh. The show of force was exactly that, a show. If one of the other vors went after me in front of the others like this, the agreement was for the others to take them down. Any meeting of the vors was supposed to be on neutral territory.

No vor worth his salt, though, was going to go to a meeting without protection.

I saw Anatoly first, as he got out of his town car. He stopped long enough to take off his trench coat and hand it to his driver. I could easily see his holster then. Anatoly looked old word, with his double breasted suit in tan, narrow nose, and dark eyes. His hair disappeared into the darkness. The lights from the car, set on dim, helped illuminate our meeting place. When he reached me he shook my hand, and then we pressed out cheeks together on each side.

“Pantera.”

“Anatoly.”

I’d been given a code name to make me sound more Russian. Anatoly had made sure that I was fluent in it and cant, so no one would question my place. It put me a different playing field than Samuel. Marked me as a violent man, a true vor.

Grigory was next. The large man was as big as a fucking ox, with a wide nose that was crooked from a few breaks, and his face was covered in marks. He was more scarred than I was. After we greeted each other, Samuel, in a neat black suit was next. The blonde stood out among us, his green eyes scanning constantly as he came towards me. The wanker had his nails done. They were shiny, clean, and perfectly even.

Bastard never worked a day in his life. I may have gripped his hand harder than the others. After I greeted Evgeny, we were ready. Evgeny stayed mostly silent during the whole exchange, but he never broke eye contact with me. Those ice blue eyes with his dark Slavic features I was sure made the women go wild wherever he went. He was younger, closer to thirty-five, compared to the older vors who were in their forties. I was the youngest among them at barely thirty.

I won.

Evgeny’s constant gaze made me wonder. What did he know?

“I’ve been betrayed,” I said. I scanned, as best I could, the others’ reactions. Anatoly stepped forward a bit, but Grigory just lifted an eyebrow. Samuel swallowed. But Evgeny just kept staring at me.

“What happened?”

“The short version, I had a woman come to me about a hit. I took her up on her offer, and made her mine as payment. The man she wanted me to kill was able to have one of my soldiers get her out of my house.”

They didn’t need to know she wanted to kill Derrick. She would be in enough danger for my enemy to know she wanted to learn how to kill Derrick. Right now, the only person who wanted her dead was Derrick.

“Sounds like a good piece of ass, but if you let someone get into your house, that’s your problem,” Grigory stated.

“You speak like that about my wife again and I’ll kill you.”

Everything was silent. My hands itched to grip the handle of my knife and push the blade into his fucking throat for talking about River like that. She was
mine
. No one was going to disrespect her and think they could get away with that. Normally, Grigory, I think, would have risen to the bait. But I named River as my wife, that made disrespect to her an act of war, if I wanted to take it that way.

“My apologies, I didn’t know you’d married. I’ll gift your family soon,” Grigory said formally.

“As shall I,” Anatoly added.

“I will gift you a fifteen percent increase on the route with the Triad,” Evgeny said.

It was customary for a vor to receive gifts once he was married. The idea was that he may have a family to care for, and the more the better, to bring up in the family business. For keeping up that tradition, more money was funneled his way. As I already did before for Anatoly and Grigory.

“Wait, you’re married? A hit? What the fuck is going on?” Samuel said. For the first time Evgeny shifted his eyes.

Toward Samuel.

Fucking wanker. I always hated that cunt.