Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4) (16 page)

I scooted my chair over to his. “Jude?”

“Yeah?” He set the beer aside.

“We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?”

His chuckle was the only answer.

Chapter Seventeen

“This is nice, right?” Trent asked, spreading his arms wide as we walked into the fancy restaurant. Once he and Rowan finally finished their sexcapade they’d been starving.

Now, the four of us stood in the entrance of a very fancy seafood restaurant.   So fancy, in fact, that we’d had to dress up. Rowan and I both wore dresses. Trent was in a pair of designer jeans and button down shirt. Jude wore a pair of his favorite tan pants and a blue polo shirt. I wanted to lick him. He wore blue so well. I was close to telling him that he could only wear blue from now on.

“Very nice,” I agreed.

I felt out of my element in a place like this. I could tell Rowan and Jude felt the same way. Trenton, however, was completely at ease. I guess growing up a billionaire will do that to you. Surprisingly though, Trent and his family acted like they were completely normal. It was refreshing.

The hostess returned to her station and Trent spoke with her.

Since it was a chilly evening we couldn’t sit outside. Instead, we were seated in a room with windows all the way around. There was only the one table and I certainly appreciated the privacy it provided, although I was beginning to wonder how much this meal was going to cost.

Trent pulled out a chair for Row. I sat down before Jude could even think of pulling out mine.

“Don’t worry about the price,” Trent spoke up, as if he could hear my internal babbling, “it’s on me.” His words didn’t make me feel better. I didn’t want my best friend’s boyfriend—fiancé—paying for my meal.

“No, don’t do that,” I said quickly, picking up a menu. My eyes bugged out at the prices. Oh, dear lord. I was positive one meal
here cost more than my car.

“I insist. I wouldn’t have come here if I wasn’t paying.” He waved his hand dismissively, taking a sip of the ice water a waiter had brought while I was freaking out over the prices.

“Thanks,” I cracked a smile.

Suddenly, I felt Jude’s warm hand on my leg, rising higher and higher. I didn’t get mad like I should have. Instead I found myself biting my lip to stifle my moan. Just when his hand was almost where I wanted he let go. I whimpered from its absence but he’d had his desired effect in distracting me.

I planned on ordering the cheapest meal on the menu, but that proved futile since nothing was cheap.

I felt guilty through the entire meal, but it was worth every penny Trent was spending on it. I’d never tasted anything so delicious. The seafood was cooked to perfection and the flavors zinged in my mouth. I wished I could cook something that delicious.

After the meal, we headed back to the beach house. It was late so we all headed straight for bed.

I’d showered before we ate, but Jude hadn’t so he locked himself in the bathroom. I guess I wouldn’t be interrupting h
is shower like he had mine earlier. I got all tingly just thinking about what happened between us in the shower this afternoon.

While
he was showering, I took off my makeup and changed into my pajamas—which was just a t-shirt long enough to cover my thighs. I didn’t bother with pants. The room was on the warm side and if Jude slept with his body plastered against mine again tonight I’d end up drenched in sweat. So, no pants was my solution. I wondered what Jude would think once he discovered I wasn’t wearing any. I wasn’t trying to tease him, or tempt him…okay, maybe a teeny bit.

I turned off the lights and lay down in the bed. I was exhausted from all the fun I’d had today, but I was determined not to fall asleep until he came to bed.

Five minutes later the door cracked open.

From the glow of a nightlight shoved in one of the outlets I could see the beads of water clinging to his abs. One of the droplets of water I stared at disappeared into the top of the white towel wrapped around his waist. I swallowed thickly, my eyes never leaving him as he stepped over to his suitcase and bent to grab a pair of clean boxers. I didn’t even look away when he dropped the towel. I swallowed thickly at the sight. The man was perfect, of that I was sure. “I can feel you watching me,” he stated, pulling his boxers in place and hiding his ass from my greedy eyes.

I didn’t look away when he turned around to face me. I could hear my pulse racing as he approached, his eyes hungry. “You know, I never collected on the sexual favor you owed me for letting you drive the Jet Ski first.”

“Wasn’t that what happened in the shower?” My voice cracked as he hovered above me. His body was large and when he was abo
ve me like this I felt so small but protected. I knew he’d never hurt me. At least not physically. Now, my heart? That was a whole other matter. He definitely had the power to break me that way.

“
That
, my dear Tate,” he flexed his arms in push up position, his mouth sucking on my neck, “was merely a warm-up. You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

I swallowed thickly and felt my body start to break out in a sweat. I wasn’t sure if my body’s response was because I was scared, or turned on. Probably turned on. Yeah, definitely that. My back bowed when his hips dug into mine. Despite my declaration of no sex this afternoon, I was about two seconds away from throwing my underwear across the room.

His fingers found the edge of my shirt and raised it up. He explored my stomach with a soft touch before finding the band of my panties. “I really like that you’re not wearing pants. I think that should be a rule between us.”

“What? Not to wear pants? That would be awfully inconvenient when
we had to be in public.” My words should have had a sarcastic biting edge, but instead they came out as a pant.

“No,” he nuzzled my neck, the slight stubble on his cheeks and jaw chafing my skin, but in the most delicious way. “Only when it’s the two of us should the pants come off. I don’t want anyone else seeing what’s mine, and this,” I gasped when his hand clasped me below, “belongs to me.”
He kissed my collarbone, up my neck, over my chin, and finally my lips. He pulled away enough to whisper, “I want to touch you, Tatum. That’s all. I swear. I won’t push you for more.”

I swallowed thickly, unable to breathe for a moment as his stare penetrated me. With his body heat warming me and that look in his eyes, I was a goner. I nodded my head slowly, almost imperceptibly at first and then with more surety.

“I want to make you feel good, baby,” he growled, nipping at my skin.

I closed my eyes, heat rushing through my body as he parted my panties. I’d never been one for silly nicknames, but I was really starting to like every name Jude had for me. Even Tater Tot. It was our thing.

Even more than nicknames, I was
really
enjoying what his skilled fingers were doing to me. I probably should’ve been irritated by just how good he was, but I was too far-gone. I was too wrapped up in him now to get scared for stupid reasons.

I clung to his shoulders as he rubbed his fingers against me. No one had ever touched me there like he was and I’d had no idea it could feel so good.

My breath soon turned to pants echoing against his ear.

His hair brushed against my chin and then his eyes met mine in a questioning manner.

“It feels good,” I assured him.

There was a nervous edge to him, like he was determined to show me a good time.

He wasn’t disappointing.

“Please, Jude,” I begged. “More.”

He kissed me deeply, still moving his hand against me. Two fingers slipped inside me and I gasped, clawing at him. It was tight, but felt amazing.

As he moved his fingers, the pressure built but my tension eased. My body began to relax and it felt even better.

My whole body began to curl in on itself and my eyes closed. My heart sounded like thunder in my ears and I saw sparks behind my closed lids. I knew something monumental was about to happen to me—something I’d never been able to experience with my other sexual encounters.

And then, I gasped loudly chanting his name over and over as I reached my peak and fell down.

Down.

Down.

Down.

But then Jude was there to catch me.

I shook against him. I couldn’t believe that had just happened and I felt mildly embarrassed.

I opened my eyes slowly, suddenly feeling shy.

He was watching me with a look of reverence.

“God, you’re amazing.” His voice thrummed through me. I still felt like I was floating.

“Kiss me,” I pleaded.

And boy did he kiss me.

Even though his lips were pressed against mine, it felt like he was kissing me everywhere—branding me as his.

There was no coming back from this. My heart—that treacherous beast—was all wrapped up in Jude. He was quickly becoming all I could think about.

Like his grandpa said, I
felt
him. He was all around me. Not in the physical sense. His presence was just that potent. Even when he was nowhere near me, my mind and body yearned for him. He’d placed a permanent mark on my heart, carving out a space for himself. I don’t how he’d done it—I’d long ago believed that organ to be frozen and unmoving—but he did, and there was no going back. Something told me I was only going to end up hurt and broken, but I couldn’t find the sense to care anymore. Once the heart gets involved, the mind can’t win.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. He smoothed his fingers through my hair. “Fucking amazing and you don’t even know it. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

“I’m nothing special.” I swallowed thickly. It was true. I was just a girl and he was just a boy. We weren’t extraordinary we were just…us.

“You’re everything.”

He kissed me again—and my God I would never get used to his kisses.

His hips ground into mine and I could feel him. All of him.

My hands skittered down his chest as he kissed me and before he knew what I was doing, my hands were around him. His body quaked as I ran my hand up and down his hard length. Holy hell. He was huge. There was no way that was fitting inside me, ever. And by
that
I meant his cock. Even thinking the word made me squirm. I needed to grow up and stop freaking out. I wasn’t sixteen. I was a twenty-two year old
woman
. There was nothing wrong with me having sex or
wanting
to have sex. But growing up in a strict household, sex had always been made to feel dirty and wrong.

Looking at the pleasure on Jude’s face…there was nothing dirty or wrong about that. It was magnificent.

I ran my thumb along the tip and his eyes shot open. He grabbed my hands and fisted them in his own, pulling them away.

Hurt filled me and my lips turned down.

“Jude? What’d I do?” My voice shook with the threat of tears. Had I done something wrong? While I’d had sex, I was pretty inexperienced and I’d never had any desire to get up and personal with a guy’s—

His words cut off my racing thoughts. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he panted, swallowing so hard his Adam’s apple bobbed. “God that felt fucking amazing. But what I did was for
you.
I didn’t want you to feel like you had to return the favor.” He kissed my forehead and rolled over so he was behind me. He pulled my body against his so that there was no space between us.

“I want to.”

“No, Tate,” his lips pressed to my neck, “tonight is for you and only you.”

I grew quiet, clasping my hands beneath my head. Finally, when I couldn’t stand the silence another second, I asked, “Isn’t that painful?” I rubbed my butt against his still blatantly present hard-on.

“Some pains are worth the reward, and seeing you come apart like that, screaming my name…that was worth everything.”

With those words I fell asleep with a satisfied smile.

Chapter Eighteen

“Juuuuuuuuude!” I
shrieked as he ran down the beach with me on his back piggyback style. It was safe to say we were acting like five year olds, but I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. “You’re going to drop me!”

“I’d never drop you!” He declared, spinning me around.

“Picture!” Rowan called out, holding her phone up.

Jude stopped spinning, teetering to the side a bit as he regained his balance.

“Smile,” Rowan declared.

“I am smiling,” Jude and I replied simultaneously. He lifted his head to look at me and we burst out laughing. All the while Rowan snapped away, taking pictures of our moment.

Our spring break was coming to an end. Tomorrow morning we had to head back home to the real world. But all four of us were determined to enjoy our last day, and by some miracle we’d been blessed with warm weather. The ocean was still nippy, but I wasn’t opposed to putting my toes in it.

“Text those to me.” Jude told Rowan after she’d taken all the photos she wanted.

“I will,” she laughed, running over to Trent.

There were more people on the beach today, a few even our age.

When Rowan had invited me, I’d expected crowds of college kids, but that hadn’t happened thanks to the private beach. I preferred it that way. I didn’t like being surrounded by lots of people or noise.

Last night Jude and I had hung out on the beach, just talking for a while, and then I decided to read. I hadn’t read a book for fun since…well, probably before I started college. My studies left l
ittle time for relaxation. Soon I’d have no time, because I knew once we graduated I needed to find a job and move out on my own.

I climbed off Jude’s back and we collapsed in the sand, rolling around.

“Hey,” he smiled down at me.

“Hi.” I smiled back.

“You know,” he poked my cheek, “when you smile really big, you have this dimple right here.” He poked me again for good measure. “I like it. I think I need to kiss it.”

“Oh, really?” I giggled.

“Mhmm,” he murmured, kissing my cheek where just a moment ago he’d poked me. “I love your smile. Have I told you that?”

“Only a few times.” I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He looked down at me, his stare intense. I shivered, despite the warmth of the sand against my back and the heat of the air.

My lips parted, expecting him to kiss me, but he didn’t.

He curled his fingers in my hair. “I love your smile,” he repeated. “Your laugh. The way your eyes light up when your happy. The way you say my name. I love it all.”

“My, Jude Brooks, it sounds like you love me,” I took on an overly dramatic southern accent.

My words were like a bucket of ice water to the both of us.

He rolled out of my hold and sat in the sand, staring out at the ocean.

Oh, shit.

“Jude,” I gasped, fear at my own words consuming
me, “I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, how could you love me?” I rambled. “I’m kind of a bitch,” I muttered. “I’m really quite a mess, actually. I honestly meant it as a joke.”

“Hey,” he turned to me, his gaze instantly shutting me up. “Don’t talk about yourself like that. You’re not a bitch and you’re not a mess. A little lost? Maybe. But who isn’t?” His shoulders sagged
. “I just wasn’t expecting that is all. You surprised me. I’m sorry.”

“Please, don’t apologize to me.” I scooted over beside him.

“I know you didn’t mean it like that, but I want you to know…I might not be able to say the words yet, and I know you’re nowhere near ready to hear them, but I’m well on my way to being in love with you.”

“Jude.” My heart did this nervous fluttery thing inside my chest. If he kept this up I was going to have a heart attack before we graduated.

“Please, don’t be scared. The last thing I want is to scare you away, but I just want you to know where this is heading for me. I know a part of you still thinks this is a fling for me, but it’s not Tate. When I look at you, I see my future.”

Tears glimmered in my eyes. I wasn’t sure if they were happy, sad, or scared-out-of-my-mind tears. I was going with scared.

“How can you say that?” I asked. I needed to know what made him so sure. Why could
he
, Jude Man-Whore Brooks, see us together but I couldn’t?

“It’s the truth.” He said it simply with a small shrug, like it was no big deal, but it was a huge deal. At least to me.

A few days ago I would’ve been mad over his words, but now I was simply stunned. The person in this relationship that should’ve been fighting us tooth and nail was Jude. He was the one that couldn’t stay with a girl and settle down. But instead it was me that was scared shitless while he was probably sitting there picturing a wedding and babies and all that jazz. Wow. What a freaking role reversal. This was insane.
We
were insane.

“Don’t be scared, Tate.”

“I’m not,” I said quickly.

“You’re a really bad liar,” he chuckled. “Whatever you’re imagining, I promise my thoughts aren’t that bad.” He started to laugh harder. “I haven’t named our kids past Jude Jr. I figured I’d let you pick the other five.”

“Six?!” I screamed. “You want six kids?!” I was pretty close to passing out. Someone grab the smelling salts. Stat.

Jude fell back in the sand
laughing so hard he clutched his stomach. “Oh my God! Your face!” He wiped tears from his eyes. “You should’ve seen your face! That was priceless. I wish I’d gotten a picture.”

As he rolled around, still laughing at my expense, I grabbed a handful of sand and threw it at him. He was unperturbed by the projectile. I needed something larger. Like a rock. Or a missile.

“Stop laughing at me!” I scolded.

He didn’t listen.

Finally I just gave up and started laughing with him. It was pretty funny after all.

Well played, Jude Brooks. Well freakin’ played.

“You’re kind of an ass.” I told him when we sobered.

“Ah, but I’m your ass,” he grinned, “and face it, you really, really like me.”

“I do,” I conquered.

“I’m a likable guy.”

“When you’re not being annoying,” I shrugged.

He fake gasped. “I am
never
annoying.”

“You wish,” I patted his shoulder.

He looked at where my hand was. “Did you just
pat
my shoulder like we’re
friends
?”

“I did,” I nodded.

He did the gasping thing again.

Before I could blink
he had me pinned on the ground, the sand sticking to my skin. He had quite the knack for pinning me down. I kind of liked it actually, but I was never telling him that.

“Oh, we are so far past friends, Tate.”

“Are we now?” I quirked a brow.

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “Friends don’t kiss like this.” And then he lowered his mouth to demonstrate.
He kissed me leisurely, like we had all the time in the world, and I was happy to let him. When he pulled away I mewled in protest, causing him to chuckle. It wasn’t my fault his kisses were mind-blowing. “And I don’t think you let your friends touch you here.” His fingers glided over the tops of my breasts, which heaved behind the confines of my bikini top. “Or here.” His hand went lower, cupping me over my shorts.

“Jude!” I gasped. “People can see you!”

“I don’t care,” he said simply.

“I do!”

“Well,” he kissed my cheek, rolling off of me, “you shouldn’t care so much what people think. People’s opinions of you don’t change a thing.” He stared out at the dark blue ocean and sighed. His face grew serious. “I don’t want to go home.”

“Me either.”

He continued on like I hadn’t even spoken. “I’m afraid that when we go home, everything will go back to the way it was before…that this will have all been a dream and you’ll hate me again. I don’t like you hating me, Tate.” He glanced at me and I could see the
hurt
etched into his face. He really meant what he said.

“That’s not going to happen, Jude.” I assured him, but he didn’t relax. I laid my head on his shoulder.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” he muttered, almost like he hadn’t meant to say the words out loud.

I realized then
that Jude had been doing nothing but trying to prove to me he cared for a while. I hadn’t been nearly so open with my thoughts or feelings for him. I was closed off and sheltered. Jude said he wore his heart on his sleeve, and he was right. But I kept mine guarded.

“I’ll just have to prove it to you,” I murmured. I meant it too.

Jude had shown he was different with me.

Now, it was my turn to show that I was different with him—that we were two halves of a whole. A fucked up whole, but a whole nonetheless.



The stars sparkled above me and the ocean roared as it crashed against the sand. The night had grown cold, but I wore a sweatshirt and had a blanket wrapped around my shoulders to protect against the wind.

I’d found myself unable to sleep.

My mind wouldn’t shut up.

When the clock read one in the morning, I gave up and came out here. I’d hoped the sound of the ocean would make me sleepy, but so far it hadn’t. I was sure it was closer to two now. Maybe I’d be able to sleep in the car. Trent wanted to get an early start home. I could tell that he and Rowan wanted to get back home to Tristan and Ivy. It was weird to think that my best friend was a mom. Crazy, really. We were so young.

I sighed, stretching my legs out in front of me.

I startled when a body sank down next to me.

Jude.

I should’ve known he’d show up.

In fact, I was actually surprised that it took him this long to come find me.

He had a sweatshirt and sweatpants on, but he still reached for the blanket. I thought he was cold and moved closer, but when he wrapped his arms around me I knew he was only trying to get me warm. Oh Jude, ever the thoughtful one. Tears pricked my eyes. I’d always believed Jude to be the villain, but he wasn’t at all. He was amazing in so many ways. He was by far a better person than me. He was the hero of this tale and I was the wicked witch. I’d been so incredibly wrong about him and I’d hate myself for the rest of my life for that fact.

“What are you doing out here, Tate? You’re going to get sick. Look at you, you’re freezing,” he admonished. I shivered as if my body needed to drive home his point.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“So, you could’ve watched TV or something. You didn’t need to come out here,” he continued, his voice carrying a tinge of worry.

I shrugged. “I thought the ocean would soothe me.”

He put a hand to my forehead, his nurse instincts kicking in. “Please, come inside.”

“Not yet.” I lay back on the ground, staring up at the stars. They sparked above me, so pretty. Surprisingly, they weren’t as clear as they’d been on his grandpa’s farm. As a little girl I’d loved stargazing. Graham and I used to camp out on the trampoline and look at the stars until the wee hours of the morning. I wondered if, like Jerry said, one of those stars up there was Graham. He’d certainly shined brighter than most people. I’d lost my best friend, not just my brother, when he died. I was learning that I’d always feel his absence, but I’d have to find a way to deal with it. Pain doesn’t have to shut you down.

Jude lay down beside me and entwined our hands together. He gave mine a reassuring squeeze.

I felt tears coat my cheeks. They weren’t necessarily tears of sadness, although there was a little of that. Instead, they were tears of acceptance.

Jude’s finger brushed against my cheek and he startled at the wetness.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because,” my lower lip trembled, “he’s gone and I’m here and I handled everything wrong.” I turned my head towards Jude, taking a deep breath. “I’m so sorry for how mean I’ve been to you.” I grasped the soft cotton of his sweatshirt in my hands and drew myself closer to his body, curling into him. “I see now how wrong I was for everything. Not just with you, but with everybody. I distanced myself, even from Rowan, because I never wanted to feel the pain of losing another person ever again. It hurt too much. But what’s life without a little pain, right?” He wiped my cheeks free of tears. “I’m accepting that he’s gone and I can’t change the past, but I can change my future.” I clung to him, like my grasp on his sweatshirt could hold me together. “You make me happy,” I whispered. I needed him to hear th
e words, to grasp the meaning. “What I feel for you scares me so much.
So much
,” I reiterated. “Love is a messy, complicated thing that I wanted to avoid. But you, Jude Brooks, are unavoidable. Please, be patient with me. You know how stubborn I can be. Don’t lose faith in what we have. Wait for me, please.”

“Always,” he cupped my cheek. “You’re worth it.” He pressed his lips tenderly against my forehead and I sighed in relief. In his arms I didn’t just feel at peace…I was home.