Saving Tatum (Trace + Olivia #4) (15 page)

“You’re right,” I breathed, blinking up at him. “You do sound selfish.”

He snickered. “Leave it to you to ruin the moment.” He eased from the bed, stretching his muscles. I forced my eyes to the ceiling so I didn’
t stare at the rippling muscles concealed behind smooth, tanned skin. He slipped on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, running his fingers through his hair to tame it. I think I preferred his sexy bedhead look.

“I’m going to go brush my teeth and see what we’re doing about breakfast,” he smiled, bending down to kiss my cheek before leaving.

Jude completely baffled me. I wondered when I’d get used to his sweet side…well, it wasn’t even a side, he was just genuinely that way, but he kept it hidden from everyone else. With me, he let his guard down. I was going to have to do a better job of that myself. I stood, staring in the mirror that hung above the dresser. My long blonde hair hung down in a tangled mess. My eyes were a bleak blue, not the happy blue they’d been as a child. They were regaining a little bit of their sparkle, and I knew that was all thanks to the guy who’d just left the room. I rubbed my chest where my heart lay shattered to pieces. I wanted to believe the pieces were big enough to be put back together, but something told me the shards more closely resembled dust.

I turned away from the mirror before I could get disgusted with myself. I had a lot of issues I needed to work through. Realistically I knew I probably needed to talk to someone, like a therapist, but I was too prideful for that.

I changed into a pair of shorts and a plain white t-shirt. I brushed my teeth, and hair, tying the strands away from my face in a bun on top of my head.

Downstairs, I found Jude and Trent watching TV. Rowan sat in the kitchen drinking her morning cup of coffee.
I was pretty sure she was addicted to the stuff.

I hopped up onto the counter beside her, swishing my legs. “Morning,” she yawned. “Want some?” She pointed to the cup of coffee.

I shook my head. “No, thanks.” I liked coffee, but unlike her I didn’t need a shot of caffeine when I woke up. “Are we having breakfast here?”

She shook her head. “No, aft
er I call and check on the kids Trent wants us to have breakfast at some diner here.”

“Sounds good. What’s this?” I asked, my eyes landing on a tiny vase. It was one of those that only fit a single stem, but instead of a fl
ower inside there was a Twizzler.

She shrugged
. “Ask Jude. I was just as confused as you are.”

Overhearing our conversation Jude strode into the kitchen. Grinning he said, “I’m determined to show you that I’m serious about
us, and that means treating you differently. Flowers are overrated, so I decided on something I know you love,” he pointed at the Twizzler in the vase. “I think Twizzler bouquets will be all the rage from now on. I’m a trendsetter.” He plucked the Twizzler out of the vase and waved it in front of my face. “Smells good, huh? It tastes even better.”

I snatched the candy from his hand and took a bite. He grinned. Finishing it off, I said, “I never knew you could be so cheesy.”

My words didn’t faze him. “I’m a romantic guy and wear my heart on my sleeve when it comes to you, Tater Tot. Get used to it. Real men aren’t afraid to show a girl they care.”

“Aw, that was really sweet,” Rowan patted him on the shoulder as she passed by, heading for the stairs. “I almost believed you for a second.”

Jude chuckled. “You wound me.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m still not convinced you’re a nursing major. I think you’re playing us all and you’re really studying drama.”
Rowan replied, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared him down.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Row,” Jude smirked. “But I’m a sexy man nurse all the way.”

I snorted at that and Row and I dissolved into a fit of giggles.

“Don’t laugh,” Jude smirked, watching me. Something told me I was in trouble with whatever he said next. “You’re the one that was checking out my ass in my scrubs.”

I groaned, cheeks flaming. My reaction prevented me from retorting. It was pointless anyway.

“While this conversation has been…enlightening, I better go change so we can eat,” she poi
nted to her cotton sleep shorts, “and call the kids.”

“I notice you didn’t deny it.” Jude placed his hands on either side of me, leaning close, his head bowed so his hair tickled my forehead.

“You have a nice ass,” I shrugged. “No point in denying it.”

He laughed, rubbing his nose against mine. “I like this side of you.” His lips quirked and I couldn’t contain my own smile.

“What side?” I questioned.

“The real one.”

I started to squirm, feeling uncomfortable from his words. He stilled me by rubbing his warm hands up and down my arms in a soothing gesture. Without telling him he always knew the best thing to do for me. It was like he could read my mind.

Instead of pushing him away, I did something that surprised us both. I laid my head against his solid chest and let my body sink into his. He
enfolded me in his arms and held me against him. I loved how he felt wrapped around me, like we were made for each other. I let out a shaky breath. This whole letting myself
feel
thing was going to be hard. Real hard. But I was trying and that was something.

“I’m ready!” Rowan called, bounding down the steps.

Jude stepped back and I hopped off the counter. Trent was oddly quiet, watching Jude and I with careful appraisal. I wondered what he thought of the two of us together.

We piled into the SUV and i
t didn’t take us long to get to the diner. It was nothing fancy, but it was clean so that was something.

“They have the best milkshakes here,” Trent informed us, not bothering to pick up his menu.

Rowan laughed beside him. “Trent, it’s like ten in the morning. No one wants a milkshake at this time.”

“Anytime is the perfect time for a milkshake,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck and then kissing it.

“Annnd there they go with the gross public displays of affection.” Jude coughed beside me as our friends completely lost themselves in each other. I might not have wanted to watch, but I did want to give Rowan a round of applause for opening herself up to Trenton. “Maybe we should get a different table?” He suggested.

“No, no.” Rowan replied before I could, extracting herself from Trent’s arms and swatting him away before he could continue. “We’re here to have breakfast together. There’s time for
that
later,” she glared at Trent. He was completely unaffected by her threatening gaze. He’d put up with enough from her before that this didn’t faze him.

“Whatever you say.” He grinned at her, wrapping a strand of her hair around his finger.

“Annnnyway,” Jude picked up a menu, “Trent’s right, it’s never too early for a milkshake. Ooh!” He exclaimed like an excited little boy. “They have chocolate peanut butter…Mmm, I love peanut butter.” He licked his lips like he could already taste it.

“I’m with Rowan on this one.” I picked up my own menu, perusing the breakfast items.
“And I
love
ice cream, anything sweet really, so that’s saying something.”

“Whatever,” Jude shrugged. “You’ll regret that decision when you see me drinking my milkshake.”

He was probably right but I wasn’t telling him that.

A waitress came by and we placed our orders. Since we were out, we decided to hang around town for a little while longer before heading back to the beach house. Once there, the guys decided to get out the jet skis. I changed into a black bikini and grabbed my beach bag. Once the jet skis were ready, the guys
headed inside to change. Rowan and I relaxed on the beach while we waited for them.

They returned with four life jackets and I rolled my eyes as I took the on
e Jude offered me. I could swim and didn’t feel I needed one, but ‘safety first’.

Heading out to the jet skis, Trent hopped on one, Rowan climbing on behind him.

Jude tried to get in the driver’s seat of ours, but I wasn’t having that. “Whoa, bud, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Bud?” He quirked a brow. “Did you seriously call me bud?”

“I seriously did, bud,” I said it again just to irritate him. “I’m driving.”

He put his hands on his slender hips. “And why is that?”

“Because, I am.” I squared my shoulders, not backing down. Growing up with an older brother, I’d been quite the tomboy. No way in hell was I letting him drive. The Jet Ski was calling my name and my hands were itching to get on it.

He sighed and handed me the key. The child in me jumped with glee. “I
expect some sort of payment later,” he whispered gruffly in my ear, making me shiver as his finger glided over my collarbone. “I accept payment in the form of sexual favors.”

I pushed him away. “Keep talking like that,” I warned him, “and I’ll throw you off of this thing and let the sharks eat you.”

“I love sharks,” he replied, smirking, “I was thinking of getting one as pet. I think I’d name him Herbert. That sounds like a good, non-threatening name for a shark, don’t you think?”

Instead of replying, I climbed on the Jet Ski. I started it up, listening to it purr to life. I looked over my shoulder at him. “You coming?”

He sighed and climbed on behind me. “Too bad you have this life vest on. From this position I could totally grope your tits.”

I swatted his hand away as it inched under the vest. “I’m still not against making you shark bait,” I warned.

“A shark would never eat me,” he chuckled. “I don’t taste good. You on the other hand,” he nipped my shoulder, and then licked the same spot, “mmm, you taste real good.”

Before he could say anything more, I floored the Jet Ski and we took off, bobbing up and down on the waves. I could hear T
rent and Row laughing somewhere.

Jude’s thumbs rubbed slow, smooth circles over the skin of my back.
It felt good, relaxing. He felt
right
against me. Like my body was made for his.

The wind whipped my hair in my face and I’m sure Jude kept getting a mouthful of the blonde strands, but he never, not once, complained. I think he knew I needed this moment of freedom. I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. By the time we returned to the beach my cheeks hurt. I’d take that pain any day though.

“My turn,” Jude grinned, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

This time I didn’t complain and climbed on behind him.

As he drove, I wrapped my arms around his sun-warmed chest and laid my head against his back.

This felt good.

More than good, it felt
right
.

Chapter
Sixteen

By the time Jude and I finished with our fun, Trent and Row had long since left.

Jude stretched out on a towel and crooked an elbow over his eyes.

“I’ll be right back,” I told him.

“I’ll be here.”

Most of the day had
past, and the two of us had completely forgotten lunch. It was closer to dinnertime now. I wanted to get a quick shower to rinse the ocean water off my body and make us sandwiches for a snack.

By the time I got upstairs I regretted my decision to come inside.

“Oh, Trent! Yes! Harder!”

I backed into a wall, slamming a hand over my eyes, which was stupid since I didn’t
see
anything. Oh no, I
heard
it.

I scurried into the guestroom, feeling like an intruder. I had to get out of there. Now.

I grabbed a change of clothes and left as quietly as possible, so hopefully they’d never know I’d been there. Food would have to wait.

There was an outdoor shower, so I decided to make do with that. I laid my clean clothes on a chair and went to tell Jude about the change of plans.

“Hey.” I shook his shoulder and he raised his arm off his face. Clearly he’d fallen asleep.

“What’s up?”

“Um,” I bit my lip, embarrassed to say the words out loud, “I kind of walked in on Trent and Row having sex, not that I saw anything,” I hastened to add. “I just…uh…heard it.” Great, now my cheeks were heating. He really was going to think I was a virgin now. “So, I’m going to take a shower out here.” I pointed over my shoulder in the general vicinity of the outdoor shower.

He nodded. “Okay…but do you really need a shower? It’s still kind of early.”

“I feel gross,” I replied. “I want a shower.”

“Women,” he muttered, before covering his face with his arm once more.

I shook my head and went to the shower. Since the showerhead was only blocked from the view of others by fence paneling—where there were large enough cracks to see through—I left my bikini on and figured I’d sit in one of the chairs and read a book while I dried. It didn’t seem like the people that owned the homes on either side were even there, but I wanted to be on the safe side. Public nudity didn’t seem like a good way to introduce myself.

I turned on the water, letting it warm, and stepped beneath the spray. I instantly felt it rinsing the salt and sand from my body. I’d brought soap out to wash my body—figuring I’d do my hair later when I had access to an indoor
shower. I’d just begun to lather my body when the shower door opened and I let out a yelp. The soap bottle went clattering to the pebbled floor.

“Jude!” I shrieked. “What the hell?!”

His eyes were hooded, dazed. “I couldn’t get the thought of you in this shower out of my head.” He looked me up down, causing Goosebumps to break out across my skin from the intensity of his heated look.

“I could’ve been naked,” I hissed, covering my body even though it was completely unnecessary.

“I’m aware of that, and I wouldn’t have minded one bit.”

Before I could shoo him away, his mouth was on mine. With one kiss he consumed me.

His mouth moved over mine like a skillful dancer. I struggled to keep up.

His tongue slipped past my lips and I gasped, drawing him in even more. He grabbed my thighs and my legs wrapped around his waist. My back was pushed against the fence wall as his hips dug into mine. My heart raced like a caged bird threatening to break free. Jude made me crazy—that was the only word for it.

“Tatum.” He growled my name, biting at my lower lip.

I whimpered in response.

I could feel him growing hard between my legs and I wanted—no,
needed
—more.

“Jude, please,” I tore at his shirt. I was tempted to rip it off him.

He set me down long enough to tear his now soaked shirt off his body. It fell to the ground with a wet thump. He picked me up once more and my hands sought his chest, exploring the smooth hard planes.

His fingers found the string of my bikini top and tugged. I felt the fabric begin to fall away from my body. The only thing keeping it from falling off completely was our chests pressed together.

I wrenched my mouth from his. I needed to get the words out of my mouth before he kissed me silly and I changed my mind. “I’m not ready.”

“I know you’re not,” he kissed the skin below my ear, “but I need to feel you against me. Skin to skin. That’s it. I promise.”

He pulled back far enough to see my eyes. I gave him a single nod.

He grinned and grabbed the scrap of black fabric, tossing it away.

His eyes feasted on the sight of my chest laid bare to him. I suddenly felt shy and nervous. I wondered if I measured up to the other girls he’d been with. My chest wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t small either.

“Perfect,” he growled, almost as if he’d read my mind. His lips covered mine once more. One hand supported my body against the wall, while the other kneaded my breast. I soon found myself panting embarrassingly loud. The things he could make me feel… The man had skills.

“You were fucking made for me.” He informed me between kisses. “You’re mine, do you understand me?”

In the past, the über Alpha male attitude had turned me off, but coming from Jude? It was hot.

“Yes,” I gasped, seeking his lips once more. “And you’re mine.”

That’s right, I, Tatum Elizabeth O’Connor was staking claim to Jude Brooks. From this moment on he was mine. Bitches beware. I had claws and I wasn’t afraid to cut a bitch if she got too close to my man.

“You know it, baby.” He kissed me passionately, absorbing all my
worries and concerns. As his lips moved against mine it was like I became a new person…no, not
new
. I just became me again. I’d missed
me
. With every stroke of his lips and play of his fingers against my breasts, I felt my happiness returning in full force. My pain and suffering and all the anger I’d lived with—a lot of it directed at him—melted away and swished down the drain along with the shower water. Jude could work magic—or at least his lips and fingers could.

I’d been holding myself back from him, even after I’d resolved to an
us
. Running away on the beach proved that, along with my constant need to snap at him.

But I was really and truly giving myself over to him now. I wasn’t holding myself back any longer. I
wanted this. I wanted him. I wanted us.

My fingers tangled in the wet strands of his hair, tugging lightly to draw him closer.

Our chests slid against each other and both of his hands now cupped my butt to hold me up. We were drenched from the shower, but neither of us seemed to mind. My wet hair clung to my face and he moved a strand away.

He didn’t
try to remove my bottoms, which I was thankful for. He was respecting my boundaries and it made me appreciate him even more.

His lips slid down my neck, placing gentle kisses. “I could kiss you forever,” he breathed, raising his head so his brown eyes connected with mine.

I nodded in agreement, because right then he’d stolen my ability to speak.

He placed one last lingering kiss on my lips before pulling away. He picked up my bikini top
and instead of handing it to me he proceeded to help me put it back on—taking extra time to cup my breasts. I thought it was safe to say that Jude was a boob man.

“Why’d you stop?” I panted, still out of breath from our activities.

“Because,” he pressed his forehead to mine, his gaze searing me with its intensity, “you aren’t ready for more yet and if we kept at it we might’ve gotten in trouble. I never want to do anything you’d regret.” He smoothed his fingers down my cheeks, causing my lashes to flutter. Great, I’d turned into one of those girls that swooned. I was in too good of a mood to care, though.

Jude picked up his drenched shirt and headed for the shower door—which was really more like a flimsy gate.

He turned back and looked at me with dark, serious eyes. “Every time I kiss you I never think the next one can top it, but it does.”

He let the gate close and I was left standing there in a daze. I wasn’t sure if it was what had transpired between us, or his words that had left me so jumbled. I was going to guess that it was a mix of both.

I turned the water off and tried to smooth my fingers through my sopping hair since it was now a tangled mess.

When I came out of the shower Jude was sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs drinking a beer. There was another one sitting by the other chair, waiting for me. I didn’t drink at all, but right then I felt like I needed five beers to calm my shaking nerves. That boy could wind me up like no other. He knew all the right things to do and say.

I sat down in the empty chair and brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

“I got you a beer.” He nodded at the bottle sitting on the ground.

I gave him a weak smile. “I don’t drink, not after what happened to Graham.” I’d never said the words aloud, but it felt good to tell him. I found that Jude made me want to be honest. I didn’t want to hide myself from him. I wanted to give it all to him.

“Ah, I see,” he nodded in understanding. He brought the beer bottle to his lips, taking a small sip. “I don’t think I’ve ever told you, but I’m really sorry about your brother.” His eyes sparkled with sincerity. “When you talk about him…I know you loved him a lot.”

My smile cracked and I looked out to the ocean. “Even though he’s been gone a long time, I still love him and miss him,” I admitted, tucking a stray hair behind my ear, and squinting from the sunlight. “Sometimes I wake up and think it was a nightmare, but then I realize it was real and it all comes crashing down on me again.” I found myself opening up to him further, telling him even more things I’d never told another soul. “My mom kind of lost it when Graham died. And when I say lost it, I don’t mean in a violent way.” I sighed. “She retreated into herself. It’s what I wanted to do. Escape,” I said the word softly. “But I couldn’t. I had to carry on and be strong. Since she shut down I had to be the one to keep moving. I had to run the house and keep her fed and my clothes washed. It was all on me. My dad…” I shook my head, laughing humorlessly. “He buried himself in work and Lord knows what else. My mom and I…we ceased to matter to him. He started working later and later, and sometimes he doesn’t even come home at all.” I bit my lip, wondering if I should continue, but then I did, unable to stop myself. “The other day I woke up to the sounds of someone in the kitchen. I thought someone had broken into the house.” I scrubbed a hand over my face and peeked at Jude out of the corner of my eye. He still sat, listening intently. He didn’t look bored or irritated with my tale. “It was my dad. He was home making breakfast. He got mad when I asked him why and we got in a fight. It pissed him off because I was curious as to why he was making breakfast. After him being absent for so long, I thought it was weird. Anyway, I stormed off to my room, and when I came out he was gone.” I felt my lip begin to tremble with the threat of tears. I turned my head to look at Jude. “When I lost my brother I lost my parents too. I even lost my friends because I couldn’t deal. I lost everyone and I’ve been so alone for so long. Having Rowan has made it better, but being with you makes me feel alive in a way I haven’t been in a long time.”

He reached over, wiping away my tears with his thumb. “Thank you.”

“Thank you?” It seemed like such an odd response to everything I’d told him. Granted, it was probably better than him running away like a crazy person. “Why are you thanking me?”

“Because, I know it took a lot of courage for you to share that with me. You’re not an open person, Tate. It’s hard to get to know you. So, thank you.” He wiped the last of my tears away and sat back. “I guess I should tell you something personal now too, huh?”

“Like our question game?” I forced a laugh.

“Sort of,” he shrugged.
He finished off his beer, slapping his hands on his thighs as he looked out at the ocean and away from me. “My mom wasn’t much of a mom. She left when I was fourteen. Kind of messed with my head,” he shrugged, picking up the bottle of beer I had neglected to drink. He tilted his head towards me and smiled slowly. “I guess that’s what sent me into my man-whore ways. Like your dad, mine’s a workaholic. Never home. Never willing to talk when he is. Before my mom left, she was pretty shitty anyway. As you already know, I ended up spending a lot of time at my grandparent’s on the farm. They practically raised me from the time I was five until I started college. They’re the reason I’m not a complete asshole,” he winked at me. “My parent’s never really wanted a kid. If I could have a dollar for every time I was told that I was mistake…” He chuckled but there was no humor in it. He took another gulp of beer, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “They didn’t beat me, so I guess there’s that.” For some reason I flinched and a long buried memory of my dad’s fist connecting with Graham’s cheek entered my mind. “Luckily, I had Pap and Grams. The farm gave me a much-needed peace. I loved it there…I
love
it there,” he amended. “They helped me to see that even though I had shitty parents, it didn’t mean I was a shitty person.”