Saving Grace (23 page)

CoCo’s face went from smiley to concerned. “You okay? You don’t look good.”

“I don’t think dinner agreed with me.” Grace plopped hard on top of all the clothes covering the chair. “Just give me a minute.”

“I’m going to go pay for these.” CoCo slipped out of the blue dress and into her jeans and sweatshirt. “I’m buying both dresses for myself, and you’re borrowing the gold one tomorrow night.”

Grace opened her mouth to protest and closed it to swallow down the nausea.

“Don’t argue. And when you can stand, we’re going straight to the Cookie Company and buying you something to eat. Looks like you need sugar.” CoCo patted her arm. “Badly.”

Since she was nauseated food shouldn’t sound good, but it did. She wanted a giant chocolate, chocolate chip cookie—maybe two, and a large coke. The combo shouldn’t have sounded so good, but it did. She licked her lips. And she wanted some marshmallows and cream cheese. That sounded wonderful.

“I’ll be right back. Stay put.” CoCo grabbed the dresses and went to pay for them.

Nausea, light-headedness, and weird food cravings—holy crap and double holy crap—she might be pregnant. Was it too early to take a test? It had only been a couple of weeks since they’d had the condom incident. They’d been super careful since. That should count for something…but it didn’t.

This was stupid, she wasn’t pregnant. She was just hungry. People got hungry…women got hungry for marshmallows and cream cheese. It was a popular fruit dip for goodness sake.

Just to make herself feel better, she’d drop CoCo off at home, and then go to the nearest Walgreens and buy a pregnancy test. That was the logical move. Her stomach lurched again. She wasn’t pregnant. She wasn’t pregnant. She wasn’t pregnant. Life couldn’t be that cruel.

An hour later she found out just how cruel life could be.

Grace sat hard on the edge of the bathtub in her bathroom and stared at the word pregnant and the numbers one-two. She scanned the directions again. This test promised to tell not only if she was pregnant, but the amount of time since ovulation.

Of all the home pregnancy test commercials she’d ever seen, they never had one where people threw the test stick against the wall and cried, but that’s exactly what she felt like doing.

This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t real. The word pregnant in the indicator window would beg to differ. She set it down next to her and scrubbed her fingers over her face. What now?

She loved children and definitely wanted some of her own…just not now. If she told Chord, he’d want to get married. She couldn’t do that to him. Marriage should be a choice not a consequence. He’d already been through that before, and she wouldn’t put him through it again. She wanted more for him and for herself.

Growing up with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Shirley, she’d seen real love. There was respect and joy and heartache and laughter and partnership in love. She felt it for Chord, but she had no idea if he felt the same way about her.

Making a commitment because they had to and not because they wanted to was wrong. The kids had been through so much, and having their father marry her under false pretenses was cruel.

She glanced at the pregnancy test, and then looked away. Until Chord told her that he loved her, this would be her little secret. The ache in her heart magnified.

If he didn’t love her and things didn’t work out between them, she’d have to leave. It was her worst nightmare. She’d lose everything…the kids, Chord, and the small bit of financial stability of a steady paycheck.

There was a knock at her bathroom door. “Everything okay?”

It was Chord.

She slipped the pregnancy test in a drawer, splashed some cold water on her face, and unlocked the door.

“CoCo mentioned you weren’t feeling well at the mall.” He touched her forehead. “You’re pale, but you don’t feel warm.”

She waved her hand dismissively. “I’m just tired.”

And she was tired…her body was tired, her heart was tired, and her soul was tired.

“Please let me help you with Uncle Vernon.” He shoved her hands into his jeans pockets. “I’ve done some checking. Belle Verde isn’t the best facility in Austin, but it is the closest.”

“What? I don’t understand.” Grace’s weary mind couldn’t put it together. He’d done some checking? What did that mean?

“There are several higher rated Alzheimer’s Facilities in Austin. I know you’re set on Belle Verde and I’ve checked it out myself, but I think we can do better.”

Yes, she knew there were other facilities, but she couldn’t afford them. Come to that, she really couldn’t afford Belle Verde.

He took her arm and gently led her back into her bedroom. He sat on the bed and patted the space beside him.

“I have a confession. I hoped it wouldn’t make you mad, but I need to be honest with you.” He was so serious. Fingers of dread tickled down her spine. Chord didn’t do serious. “I called around and found three facilities that have room for him. Each one has some different things to offer. I know money is a concern. and they all take insurance. Also, as a favor to me, they all have agreed to match the cost of Belle Verde. Ten thousand upfront and two thousand a month. What do you think?”

“Um…” Her hackles went up and she forced her nerves to calm.

“Before you get angry, I did it because I’m here for you. You don’t have to handle everything alone. You don’t like to ask for help, and I understand that. But I want to help you because I care. Take this information, and use it however you’d like.”

He’d helped her because he wanted to make her life easier. It’s not that he thought she couldn’t take care of her uncle, it was because he cared about her. That changed things. A helping hand not born of pity was okay…well less pathetic than taking a hand out. So he’d checked around. She wouldn’t take his money, but taking his advice wouldn’t cost her.

She swallowed the pride threatening to choke her. “I’d love to see the other places. Would you go with me and help me check them out?”

It was stupid to feel this helpless in asking for him to come with her, but it had been a long time since she could count on anyone but herself.

“Thought you’d never ask.” He elbowed her lightly. “FYI—I’m pretty irresistible so in case any of the older ladies go all cougar, I’m going to need you to body block them. Don’t break a hip or anything, but crowd control might be in order.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’ve had a lot of jobs, but bouncer in an assisted living is a new one.” She kissed his cheek. “Thanks.”

It felt like it cost her a ton to say that one little word.

He shrugged. “No worries. Besides, you can thank me properly tomorrow when I come home for,” he threw up some air quotes, “lunch.”

“I’m sure I can whip up just the right lunch to satisfy any man.”

“I’m not ‘any man’. I’m your boyfriend.” He tried to sound indignant, but there was too much pride about the boyfriend thing. Pride? He was proud to be hers. She’d never thought about it. It was kind of nice to have someone who wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with him.

But pride wasn’t love, and she and her child both needed love. It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him, but she’d made herself a promise…love before baby.

“How do you feel about CoCo’s date?” She needed a new subject.

He blew out a deep breath. “I can’t believe she’s old enough to date. It seems like yesterday I was changing her diaper and riding her on my shoulders.”

Would he change their baby and ride he or she on his shoulders? She would love to see that.

“She’s no longer a little girl, and for the most part she makes good decisions. I just hope this boy is good to her.” Grace hitched one shoulder. “I guess it doesn’t matter much because it sounds like she really isn’t that into him.”

“Have you ever dated someone you weren’t that into?”

“Of course. Haven’t you?” It was hard for Grace to think of him with other women, but she wasn’t delusional…he’d been with lots of women. Her unborn child cringed a tiny bit.

“I guess.” He thought about it. “I guess I’ve gone out with many women I wasn’t that interested in. Some got more interesting as the evening went on, and others bombed in the pregame. Dating is fun.”

He yawned and stretched. “Speaking of dating. I need to let you get some sleep because our first date is tomorrow night. Can’t have you tired for the most important night of your life.”

“Are we curing cancer tomorrow night? You told me it was just a dinner—I didn’t get a cancer-curing dress. Now I’m going to be underdressed for the most important night of my life.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be dressed to kill. I’ll cast a wide shadow of greatness that will more than compensate for your…lack. I’m a charitable man that way.” Chord stood and stretched again.

“You’re a real humanitarian.” She smacked him lightly on the butt. What would it be like to not have to say goodnight? They could snuggle in bed and watch a movie or talk about the kids. In the coming months, would this become a reality? Would he be proud to watch her bloom with his child? They’d spend the evenings planning and laughing and talking about the new baby? Would CoCo and the boys be excited about a new little brother or sister?

In her mind’s eye she saw a movie of what their live could be—big family dinners, nights full of laughter and board games, watching her baby rollover, learn to walk, the whole family going to football games to support Chord. He’d supported her need to sing, it was time she supported him.

She called to him just as he was about to walk through the open door. “I’m thinking about taking a class at Austin Community College called
Football Widows 101
so I can understand what you do. I have a deep desire to understand all of those squiggly drawings in your secret playbook.”

The strangest look came over his face—like anger and heartache combined—then he washed his face clean and forced a smile. “Skip the class, I’m an excellent teacher. I’ll trade private football tutoring for sexual favors.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” She blew him a kiss.

He returned it, and then he was gone.

She was pregnant and life went on. She glanced down at her flat tummy. The idea of a baby was growing on her. It was beginning to seem less like the end of the world and more like a new beginning. She was embarking on a new era in her life, and things were looking up.

The next evening as Chord tied his bowtie and shrugged on his tuxedo jacket, he still couldn’t shake the bad mood he had slipped into earlier. When Grace had announced she wanted to learn more about football just so she could understand his playbook, an uncomfortable feeling had settled in the pit of his stomach.

Did she spend hours on end pouring over the damn thing?

He shook his head and made a face in the mirror. Grace wasn’t like that. She wanted to learn about football so she could be supportive. Still, if he were the one teaching her, he could make sure she only knew enough to understand the game and not to sell him out.

If he could, he would punch himself in the face for even thinking it. Grace wasn’t out for money…and she didn’t go through his desk when he wasn’t around and study his playbook. Grace was trustworthy and smart and funny, and she’d brought laughter into his life. She wasn’t Alice.

He untied the damn tie and tried again. He couldn’t get the loops even on both sides. Grace was wonderful and beautiful, but the overwhelming desire to run into his study and lock the door made his palms shake. He trusted her…absolutely.

The trust issues were completely his—he owned them, and he would work through them. He grimaced at his reflection one more time. After all he’d been through, wasn’t he entitled to a few trust issues?

Yes, but Grace didn’t deserve to carry his baggage.

“You look like a man in need of a little help.” Grace said over his left shoulder.

Speak of the devil.

He turned around and his heart nearly stopped beating. Her hair was up in some fancy twist thing and her legs went on for days. The gold dress was strapless and fit tight to her waist and then the long skirt slit open at her upper thigh and revealed those amazing legs.

“Do you like it?” She did a little turn-around thing for him. If the front was fantastic, the back was incredible. It laced up corset style so patches of her back were bare. It seemed impossible she would be wearing a bra. That gave his mind a much more agreeable target on which to stew.

“I love it.” He studied the front of her dress at chest level. He couldn’t make out her nipples, but the lighting in his bathroom wasn’t the best.

“Stop staring at my boobs.” Grace crossed her arms. “Yes, I’m wearing a bra. It’s built into the dress.”

“Damn, I was counting on spending the next two hours working that out in my head. A man’s got to have something to do at these stupid things.”

She stepped in front of him and tied his tie. “Uncle Vernon made sure every single one of his kids could tie a tie. He said it was a lost art.”

“Uh huh.” He looked down her dress and forced himself to not lick his lips. He could see her left nipple, and if she turned just a little he’d get to see the other one. He liked this built in bra thing. It didn’t cover much.

She had nice breasts, high and full, but not too large and totally real. The left one was just a tiny bit larger than the right. He loved how they felt in his palms as she rode him. And how responsive they were. With the slightest touch, her nipples turned hard. Speaking of hard, he spread his legs wider in a more comfortable stance.

Since her dress was strapless, if he yanked, would it come off? Now there was an idea. He looked around. His room was a construction zone, but hers was well…the kids were in the house.

Something hit him on the back of the head. He glanced up from Grace’s cleavage to find it was her hand.

“Stop looking down my dress.” She straightened his tie. “You didn’t hear a thing I said about CoCo, did you?”

The last thing he remembered was Uncle Vernon and ties.

“I said CoCo is worried about you embarrassing her in front of her date.” Grace continued to fuss with is tie until it was perfect.