Saving Grace (20 page)

“Spread your legs wide. I want to see you.” His voice was a growl.

Grace opened for him, unzipped the zipper of her dress, pulled it down to her waist, and shrugged out of her bra.

“Wow.” He licked his lips, knelt on the side of the bed, grabbed her knees, and pulled her to him. His mouth found the tender spot above her opening and he feasted. He was hungry for her, wanted her, and would have her. With his hands behind her knees, he pulled up, forcing her to arch her back, and giving him more access to her. His hand slid up her legs, and opened her even farther for his tongue. He licked and sucked. One finger slid inside her rubbing inside as his mouth coaxed.

Pleasure tingled through her. Moving out from her center to every square inch of her body, the orgasm built and built, until it erupted in tidal waves of bliss.

She laid back, spent and totally relaxed. Her eyes fluttered closed. Her world was just about perfect.

She heard him tear open a condom packet and she assumed he was putting it on.

“Wait a minute. You can’t fall asleep. What about me?” Chord’s voice was urgent with need.

She patted him on the head. “That was wonderful. If I’d have known you were that good, I’d have done you weeks ago.”

She rolled away and pretended to sleep, but ruined it by laughing.

He rolled her on her back and the look on his face went straight to her heart. Tenderness glowed in his gaze…tenderness and longing. His gaze started at her head and slowly worked its way down to her toes. He wasn’t examining her body so much as memorizing every detail so he could recall it later.

She felt special and cherished and happy and loved. The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she bit her lips to keep them inside…just a little longer. They hadn’t known each other long. It was a little too soon for I love you.

“I’m all yours.” She propped herself up on her elbows. “What did you have in mind?”

He cocked his head to the side considering. “Well, I thought I’d start with this.”

He tickled her mercilessly. She wriggled and screamed with laughter. She tried to roll away, but he pulled her to him and his mouth found her breast. His tongue alternately flicked and sucked her nipple. Her hands went to his hair as she held his head to her. She fitted her body to his.

Slowly, he lowered her beneath him, parted her legs, and entered her. Like the world outside didn’t exist, he took his time. Gently thrusting and then retreating. Over and over.

Grace closed her eyes and savored the feeling of having him deep inside her. Her hips matched his rhythm, and she picked up the tempo. Tiny sizzles of pleasure radiated from her core as she arched higher and harder chasing the orgasm. Chord thrust harder and harder. She matched his pace. On a shattering breath, the orgasm rocked through her. Chord thrust once more and followed her over the edge.

For several minutes they lay there, wrapped in each other, their bodies joined, both satisfied and exhausted. He rolled off of her and immediately she missed his warm weight.

He walked into her bathroom, and closed the door. Clearly he wasn’t a snuggler.

“Crap.” He yelled from the other side of the door.

Grace sprang up and went to the door. “What? Are you okay?”

Chord opened the door with the oddest look on his face. “It’s gone.”

She waited for more, but when nothing came she asked, “What’s gone?”

“The condom.” He darted around her and went to the bed. He threw back the covers and felt around. “I can’t find it.”

Crap was right. No protection meant…well it could mean lots of things. “Maybe it came off after.”

Her voice was more hopeful than realistic.

“Right. That could have happened.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that fact.

“Sure. It fell off…” She knew the probability of that happening was pretty low.

“Let’s find it and then figure things out.” Chord was on a mission.

They tore the bed apart and found…nothing. They looked under the bed and combed every square inch of her bedroom.

“It’ll turn up. It has to.” Grace’s mounting sense of dread was driving her pulse through the roof. There was only one more place to check. She walked to the bathroom and closed the door. She sat on the toilet and it didn’t take long for her to find it. She pulled it out and flushed it.

Not only was there the question of pregnancy, but also disease. Slowly, with the weight of the world on her shoulders, she washed her hands and opened the door. “Found it.”

She sat on the bare mattress.

“Where?”

She shot him a look.

“You mean it came off inside—”

“Yep.” It was indelicate and embarrassing and possibly life changing.

He sat next to her. “Crap.”

“Well let’s start with the possibility of pregnancy which isn’t likely as my period was last week, but then there’s disease. I’ve been tested and I’m clean. How about you?”

“I haven’t been tested in a while.” He wouldn’t make eye contact. “And I’ve had a couple of partners since then, but I’ve always worn a condom…no exceptions and until now no…um mishaps.”

“Wow. Of all the conversations I’ve had after sex, this is the most intense.” Grace shook her head. “Not ten minutes ago it was all fun and games, and now it feels like somebody died.”

He put his arm around her. “Chances are nothing will happen but if it does, we’ll face it together. I’ll have the team doc do a blood test. I’m sure it will be clean, and that will be that. As far as a baby…well.” He scraped his fingers across his face. “There are worse things. It’s not the end of the world, I’ve been through it before.”

“Thanks for saying, ‘we’.” Grace laid her head on his shoulder.

“We are a ‘we’, I’ve been explaining that for a while now.” He kissed the top of her head. “Get with the program.”

Wait a minute. He’d been through it before. “What do you mean you’ve been through it before?”

Did he have other children out in the world? He didn’t seem careless with sex, but she wasn’t a hundred-percent sure that was the case.

“Alice was pregnant when we got married. I wanted a family, and I figured she would love being a mother.” He took a deep breath. “Man was I wrong.”

Yes, he’d been through it before and had to get married. When she married, it would be for love and nothing less.

She snuggled closer to him. “You didn’t get to choose. I didn’t realize that.”

If she were pregnant, she would never make him marry her. They would be together for love or not at all. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Shirley hadn’t had much, but they’d loved each other and all the kids. No one should ever be stuck in a loveless marriage.

“I guess not. It doesn’t feel like it though. I wanted the family and that included a wife. Unfortunately for me, she was the wrong wife.” He shook his head. “It didn’t work out, not because we didn’t try, but I didn’t love her, and she didn’t love me. I’d already hired a divorce attorney…if she hadn’t left, I would have left her. There’s an old Kenny Loggins song. I don’t remember the name. It says something like love should teach joy and not the imitation you saw with your mother and father. It was powerful. Neither Alice nor I was happy, but we pretended to be. I didn’t want my kids to see that version of love. The first time I heard that song, I realized my kids deserved to see real love and not the fucked up version we were teaching them. Staying together for the sake of the children isn’t always what’s best.”

She kissed his cheek. “I’d love to hear it sometime.”

He sat up and looked at her. “You get it. You really get it.”

“Of course I get it. Choosing to end your marriage was probably the most selfless thing you’ve ever done. Raising children in a toxic environment doesn’t make for happy, well-adjusted baby humans. Divorce isn’t a get-out-of-jail-free card, but in your case, if was the best option.” She studied him. “You feel guilty, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t…” He thought about it. “I guess I do. I feel guilty I didn’t pick a better mother for them. I feel guilty I’m not the best father in the world and their mom isn’t around.” His voice cracked, and then something flashed in his eyes and a slow smile started at his mouth and worked its way north. “But you’re here, and you’re a better mom than their biological mother.”

Her soul smiled.

He traced her jawline.

“You should have been their mother.” His voice was quiet, resolute, and completely serious.

Her heart jumped out of her chest and landed at his feet.

“Being their mother would have been my greatest and finest accomplishment.” But sadly, it wasn’t real. Maybe if things worked out between her and Chord, someday, the kids would see Grace as a mother figure, but for now, she was just Grace.

He kissed her softly on the lips, and then his stomach growled loudly.

“I’m hungry.” Chord traced the curve of her left breast.

“So I hear.” Her shoulders shook. “Thanks for taking a really deep heavy moment and lightening the mood with a bodily function.”

“It could have been worse. I did eat a lot of pinto beans with my bar-b-que. Trust me, it could have been a lot worse.”

“I believe you. I live with three men—y’all’s bodies make some astoundingly disgusting noises.”

“Yeah, being a guy is pretty great.” He grabbed a sheet off the floor and wrapped it around her and then pulled the blanket around his waist.

“How about s’mores?” She tucked the end of the sheet between her breasts sarong style. “I could use some melty-marshmallow goodness right about now.”

“I was going to go with something more adult like Captain Crunch, but I’m good with the s’mores plan.” He grinned down at her.

“A man with an open mind.” She smacked him on the bottom. “Nice.”

“Thanks.” He smacked her on the butt. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Grace could get used to life with Chord. He was easy going, loved his family, and never batted an eye at adventure. This could be her forever, if she let herself believe in that sort of thing. Living day-to-day and hand-to-mouth hadn’t given her much time to plan forever, but if she did, it would be exactly like this.

This was a perfect moment in time.

***

Chord held the two-pronged bar-b-que fork with a marshmallow speared on the end over the gas stove while Grace readied the chocolate and graham crackers. While he’d had a lot of sex in his life, he’d never enjoyed it more. True the condom mishap was at the back of his mind, but it would probably lead to nothing. Grace brought laughter and life into his house…into his heart. No one put a smile on his face faster than she could.

And she should have been the kids’ mother. His family fit her so perfectly. This was the life he’d always wanted—not like before.

When he’d married Alice, this is what he’d envisioned married life to be, but instead of laughter and love, they’d had stony silence and hatred.

He glanced at Grace who was wearing only a T-shirt and arranging graham crackers on a plate. She wouldn’t have been sullen and then angry at being pregnant. She wouldn’t have crumbled under the strain of caring for CoCo while carrying the twins.

Hell, Grace might be pregnant now, and she wasn’t sullen or angry even though she had a right to be.

She would enjoy and treasure every minute of her children’s lives instead of resenting them for being born. She’d fuss over and photograph every single milestone instead of ignoring and ultimately leaving her children.

She was the missing piece of his life’s puzzle. Would she want to stick around long-term? Did he want that?

He scratched the back of his neck. She may have to stick around longer than she’d expected if she were pregnant. He tried to muster up some fear about the situation, but he couldn’t. How bad was it to hope—just a little bit—that maybe she was pregnant. A new little baby to play with —the kids would love it. And Grace…she’d stay. In this day and age, she wouldn’t have to stay, but she would because she wanted to.

He tried to remember what his life had been before Grace, but that seemed like a distant, unpleasant memory. Chord leaned against the counter. He didn’t want a life without Grace.

What exactly did that mean? Marriage? What about other children? She might be pregnant right now.

She would want more kids…right? The possibility she might not want to have his child hadn’t occurred to him until now. Surely she would want to keep it. Having another cute, squishy little baby would be kind of fun. And he’d enjoy watching her body bloom with his child. He’d never felt manlier than when Alice had been pregnant. Something deep inside of him had stirred every time he’d felt his baby kick inside the womb. There was pride in knowing he’d taken part in the creation of another human being. A million Super Bowl wins couldn’t equal the legacy of having a child.

Grace would want that…right? How did he bring it up? Considering the conversation they just had in the bedroom where he’d bared his soul and the fact that she might be pregnant, maybe this wasn’t the best time to bring up her whole stance on babies.

“It’s on fire.” The urgency in Grace’s voice brought him out of himself and he glanced at the flaming marshmallow on the end of his fork.

He brought it to his lips and gently blew on it. A black crust of ash coated the now misshapen marshmallow. “Well done, my favorite.”

“I prefer mine with a little less ash.” She took the fork from him, slid the marshmallow onto the graham cracker, and added a new marshmallow to the fork. “I’ll take over while you eat your blacken s’more.”

He added the chocolate layer and then the other cracker. He shoved the whole thing in his mouth as she slowly waved the marshmallow back and forth over the flame.

She noticed him watching her. “I call this the horizontal pattern. The trick is to keep the marshmallow moving so it heats evenly.”

He chewed the mouthful and finally swallowed. “You made that up.”

“Did not.” Her mouth turned up in a superior smile. “It’s in Marshmallow Roasting for Dummies. It’s not my fault you don’t read much.”

“I can’t believe there are actually marshmallow roasting techniques, and there’s actually a book devoted to it. Some people have way too much free time.” He popped a piece of chocolate in his mouth.