“Not all men are bad. Some would understand. Your father sold you into that life and you worked off your contract. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Emily believed it, even if the rest of the world wouldn’t.
“That’s a nice dream. You’re respectable, have money and beauty. Your father was good to you. Even you have to marry, men might come and take advantage of you. That’s one consolation, I’m already ruined.” Dora shook her head.
“That doesn’t mean it’s okay for men to take advantage of us,
ever
.” Emily understood the subtle advice. “You think I should marry?”
“It’s a hell of a lot safer than not being married, or married to a man who drinks too much. Sorry for the language, but I was listening in the kitchen. The Bonner men are strong. Decent. Good men. They won’t let any harm come to you. They’ll let you keep helping women like me. Even Mrs Lange would benefit from their protection. Women may get the vote someday, but you need to think of now. Think of yourself and your future children. The man you marry is one of the few choices you have in life.” Dora took up a pencil and practiced her writing.
“Can I talk to you about some things? Privately?” Emily asked.
Dora looked around the room. “We are in private.”
“No, I know. I meant confidentially. So you don’t repeat it at all to anyone? Not even Mrs Lange or Sarah. It’s about what you used to do.” Emily felt her face go hot. “Or rather, marital life in the bedroom.”
Dora sighed. “Is that all? I thought the widow would have informed you already. I know your mama died when you were young.”
“It’s not the basics of it. More of the peculiarities of men. Some men.” Emily swallowed hard. Doing things with two men had happened so easily for Emily that discussing it shouldn’t be so hard.
“Ask me anything.” Dora smiled. “There’s little I haven’t heard or seen. Men know what they like, so I wouldn’t worry. No one needs to know what goes on in your bedroom. I’m sure the Bonner men, either of them, would never hurt you.”
“I agree. Most men probably wouldn’t ask their wives for some of the more unusual things.” Emily couldn’t seem to find the words.
“I never saw either of the Bonner men in the whore rooms, if that’s what you’re hinting at. Henry would flirt with all the women when he came in for a drink, but they never paid me or any of the girls at the saloon. That’s probably a good sign. We got married men in there plenty. They want things they’re afraid to ask of their wives.”
Emily nodded. “That’s good to know about the Bonners. I suppose those two are used to being without women. Since they both had worked the cattle drives for years before they settled down at the ranch.”
Dora blushed. “True. But don’t you believe what they say about those men being intimate with the cows or each other. It’s not the end of the world if a man has to wait a bit to be with a woman.”
“I’m sure. But what if… What if there were men who liked both?”
“Women and cattle?” Dora snorted a laugh.
“No, not cattle. That’s a horrid thought. Men who liked men
and
women. What if that’s just how they are? Have you had any of that in your experience?” Emily asked.
Nodding, Dora gave Emily a soft smile. “You don’t talk of it much, but it happens. Some men will want to share a woman. Sometimes it’s a new young man who is nervous with a whore. Sometimes they’re just buddies who like to watch as well. Then some want a safe place to be alone. I had one pair who just wanted me to watch them. Easiest money I ever made.”
“The town would’ve strung them up.” Emily’s head ached.
“That’s why they paid me for my silence and a safe place where they wouldn’t get caught. They were passing through town. Miners. Guess they didn’t want to be found out making too much noise in the boarding house. Look, people like what they like. I gave up judging a long time ago. I don’t follow everything in the Bible. Thanks to my father, I couldn’t. But I do listen in church. I don’t judge others because I’ve had enough judgment on me. I surely won’t throw stones. Those men weren’t hurting or forcing anyone. It’s their nature. You’ve seen it in animals.”
Emily rolled Dora’s very basic common sense around in her brain. It was so right. So simple. Yet radical talk if heard in public. “Why is the world so mean to people who are different? The slaves, the Indians, the Chinese working on the railroads—and women.”
“People fear what’s different. It’s better to be kind like you are, but without your money, because you’d never get away with pushing votes for women and such. America doesn’t have a king but power is power. White men have most of it.” Dora went back to her letters. “I hope we get the vote, yet I know the world won’t change overnight. The sooner you accept reality and work with it, the better. Marry one of the Bonners and you’ll have more standing, safety, and, I’d wager, a very good marital life.”
Emily laughed. There was no doubt there. “I don’t mean to bring up a difficult subject, but you would know this. How do you prevent having children until you’re ready, or to space them? I want children, but I want to be prepared.”
“That I can help you with. But you must be very strict about it. One slip up is all it takes.” Dora seemed to relax as they hit on a topic that was appropriate for a young woman looking to marry. So many women died in childbirth that the knowledge of limiting how soon and how many was as valuable as gold.
* * * *
At dinner, Emily couldn’t stop smiling. Both men showed up in suits and she could smell the soap on them. They’d washed and gone to a lot of trouble for her. The flood of inappropriate memories warmed her body as well. Now she had to be proper.
“So glad you two could join us,” Alice said.
“We couldn’t believe those men followed you home from church.” Henry even ate like a gentleman.
Emily was flattered and overwhelmed. Seeing them again with others around and all the rules of society imposed, she felt nervous. Being clothed and so appropriate felt nice because she trusted them so much more now. She knew their wilder side and craved it still. Her body pulsed for them. Picking one? The very idea gave her a headache. How could Henry and Jack separate from each other?
Or was she an addition? Maybe a cover? She took a bit of chicken and chewed as she mulled the issues.
“Are you all right, Emily? She had a headache earlier,” Alice said.
“We could’ve rescheduled,” Jack said.
“If you want us to come back another day…” Henry offered.
Emily took a drink of water then shook her head. “I’m fine. Truly. It’s all the changes since I’ve been back. I thought it would be simply coming home, only my father would not be here. It seems the town’s view of me has changed overnight.”
“Then those pushy men scare you. We can set them straight,” Henry said.
“No, really. I wasn’t scared, exactly. More pressured.” Emily smiled at them. “I’m not opposed to marriage. I just don’t want a man who is more interested in my money than me. Or a man who wants to marry me out of a sense of obligation, or to keep the peace in the town. It’s not a competition or a charity event.”
“Of course not, there are many things to consider.” Alice nodded. “There is no rush, but showing you intend to marry will put the gold diggers off.”
“We’ve always admired you, Emily. If we knew there was a line-up of bachelors, we’d have counted ourselves included. But we’re not that pushy.” Henry winked at her.
Alice cleared her throat. “I’m sure you would have. However, since she’s invited you here doesn’t mean the rules of propriety will be lax. Even though her sister is in Denver, I take my place seriously.”
Emily shot Alice a glare. “Mrs Lange is being overly protective. I am a grown woman.”
“Your father looked out for me. I owe it to his memory to keep an eye on you until you’re married.” Alice surveyed the two men. “Which of you are interested in courting her?”
“Alice,” Emily said.
“You went and invited them to dinner. I won’t rush anything, but the sooner you’re seen out courting one of these men, the sooner you’ll be free of other suitors.” Alice shrugged.
Dora helped Sarah clear the plates and the distraction gave Emily a chance to breathe. As the pie was served, Emily wondered what the men were thinking. Had they decided which one would court her?
“We’d both be honored if Emily chose us. Either one. We’re family and we won’t let anything come between us,” Jack said.
Alice nodded. “Two men looking after Emily’s safety is good. However, the other of you will marry at some point. Most likely. Two women trying to run a home isn’t ideal.”
“Aren’t you jumping ahead several steps, Alice?” Emily wanted to crawl under the table.
“I’m asking the same questions your sister would in my place. I won’t advise you on which offer to take. Both men are perfectly respectable. Trustworthy. Spend time with both of them, if you’re not sure, but don’t play too long or people will talk.” Alice looked at them.
“People will always talk.” Emily rolled her eyes.
“So be discreet until you decide. Forgive my honesty, but we all know how small this town is. If we want to stay without issue, the sooner people know the better. The wedding is no rush, but the match is important.” Alice took a bite of pie.
“She’s right.” Henry nodded. “So how about Jack takes you riding tomorrow afternoon and I’ll take you for a picnic later in the week? It’s a start.”
“Sounds acceptable. I’ll take over the tutoring duties this week so you can focus on getting to know them better.” Alice nodded approvingly.
“Thank you,” Emily said.
The men smiled at her.
“Great pie,” Henry said.
“Apple is my favorite,” Emily admitted.
Jack smiled. “Mine too.”
“I’m a cherry man, but this apple is delicious.” Henry focused on the pie.
“What tutoring? The maid?” Jack asked.
Emily nodded. “I have an open invitation to the saloon ladies if they want to educate themselves. Some can read and write and others can’t. I’m glad Dora has left that life. She insists on working in exchange for room and board. The more skills a woman has, the more options she has too.”
“We shouldn’t discuss other people or that former profession.” Alice’s posture stiffened. “Your charitable efforts are great. However, those matters are better suited to a married woman.”
“I wouldn’t worry about that, Mrs Lange. My intentions are honorable.” Jack’s tone was firm. “As are my cousin’s. Everyone in town knows about Emily’s suffrage efforts and charity work. It makes me admire her more.”
“Thank you.” Emily felt his help. A bit of pressure was off her thanks to Jack. It was true that if she married, the only approval she needed was her husband’s. Helping whores, putting up orphans, or even working for the vote could cause talk in the town.
If her husband didn’t object, none of the talk mattered and the townsfolk knew it. Some might hope a marriage would calm Emily and focus her on motherhood. That would be wonderful, but she’d still help people.
Chapter Four
Riding out with Emily wasn’t a breech in etiquette. She was as lovely as ever and smelled like lavender as the wind blew through her hair. They avoided the thick of town yet stayed on public roads.
“I’m so sorry about my behavior Sunday in the barn,” Emily said.
Jack chuckled. “Sorry? That’s not a good start. We shouldn’t have encouraged you. Henry and I were wrong. Thank you for not exposing us.”
“I walked in on a private moment. I should’ve left immediately.” She blushed deeply.
“We drew you in. It’s been a long time since we… Women are rare on the drives. Even settled, we won’t risk the saloon, either. You’re the one woman we can’t resist.” Jack wanted to find a shady tree and spend some time under it, but he wouldn’t compromise Emily.
“I shouldn’t have given in to temptation.” She exhaled slowly.
“That sounds more like Mrs Lange than you.” He grinned.
“She would be horrified at what I did. I still think it was a dream.” Her blonde curls swayed as she shook her head.
“You know better. But Henry and I will never breathe a word of it. Even if you don’t marry one of us.” Jack admired her perfect posture on the horse.
“I know. I trust you both. However, I can marry only one of you and I don’t see how it could work. It’s so unconventional.” She glanced around as though someone might have come up on them.
Jack looked around for anyone watching them, but it was just her guilt. “It is odd, but you know we won’t force anything on you. Marriage to one is all the law will allow. The ranch has always belonged to both me and Henry so you living with both of us won’t be noticed by anyone. The house is huge and the ranch is right there. If two men is too much for you, you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“A woman with rights in a marriage? That’s radical thinking.” She seemed to relax.
“We’re not exactly conventional either. You could have us run out of town, or worse. You know it and I know it. Your word is good in this town. People respect you. That’s why all of those men were there to court you.”
“They wanted the money,” Emily said.
He knew better. “Some, maybe. They all wanted you to stay. They gave you a couple weeks out of respect to your father, but your fortune helps Manitou Springs. You employ people. Having you here raises the town.”
“There are other wealthy families.” She seemed to dismiss her value and Jack didn’t like it one bit.
“True, but they are stable here. No chance of moving away. You could’ve found a husband in Denver. The townspeople want you to stay for good reasons as well as the monetary ones. If you marry and have children, you’ll be less likely to move.” He shrugged.
“My father moved us repeatedly,” she replied.
“I understand. But if your husband is from the town…” Jack didn’t want to come out and say it.
“The husband is in charge. Right.” Emily nodded. “If I were mistreated, I could always head back to Denver. My sister would never turn me away.”
Jack grinned. “I do love your independent streak. You’re a soldier who would never surrender.”