Though he doubted that any could compare with Valen. Everything he’d done to Aaron had been so good.
Except the part where Valen had backed away from him in the den, and the way he did it again once they were outside. Valen held his hands up then shook them.
Was he trying to shake off Aaron’s scent? The very idea of having touched him?
Valen turned his head and peered off to the west. He sniffed then did it again. “They’re coming back for you.”
Aaron felt like he had semen all over him. Guilt covered him more thoroughly. “I have to—”
Before he could finish, Valen turned him around. “The stream. It’ll be cold. There’s no other option unless you want to be found smelling like me and sex…” He didn’t let go of Aaron’s hand, however. “Unless…” Valen shook his head. “No. You wouldn’t.”
Aaron had no idea what Valen was talking about. He was making exactly zero sense.
“Go on,” Valen said gruffly. “Before they get here.” Then he let go.
Aaron felt unaccountably abandoned.
The sound of someone or something running through the shrubs and foliage reached Aaron and he spun around to see Rivvie come barreling toward them.
“There’s a dozen or so humans on horses coming!” Rivvie got out between panted breaths. “Ungh. It reeks of cum. Surely even the humans will be able to smell it. Are they gonna want to skin you for defiling one of them?”
Aaron was afraid they just might. “I have to go,” he blurted out. “I’m already going to be in so much trouble.” There was more he wanted to say, though he was unable to grasp anything else.
Valen nodded once. He didn’t move to leave.
“They’re getting closer while you two stand here making lovey eyes at each other,” Rivvie complained.
Valen’s top lip curled in a sneer and he whacked Rivvie’s arm. “Shut up.”
“Now, now, don’t get bitchy.” Rivvie danced back and giggled when Valen swatted at him again.
“Be safe in your travels,” Valen surprised Aaron by saying. “You mentioned being in trouble. Will you be okay? Can you walk?”
His knee still hurt, although not like it had. Perhaps he wouldn’t die from that particular injury. Aaron put more weight on it and was glad he didn’t fall over.
“Of course,” Aaron assured him, plastering on a smile. He wouldn’t explain that being the son of the village chief—even the youngest son—meant he was in for more punishment than non-related villagers would receive for breaking the rules. It wouldn’t matter to Valen anyway. “Uh, be safe, too.”
Valen hesitated a moment, then tipped his head down in acknowledgment. “Let’s go, Rivvie.” Valen scooped up his bag and, with Aaron watching, shifted into the gorgeous black wolf he’d been earlier.
Rivvie muttered about the leather satchel not being on good, and righted it on Valen’s back before he morphed into a golden-brown wolf.
Then they were running, and in seconds Aaron couldn’t see them anymore.
And he couldn’t comprehend why his heart ached as if he’d lost something precious. It made no sense at all. Aaron limped to the stream and leaped in, letting the shock of the cold water compete with that unexplainable pain he felt. If he was lucky, he’d go numb and stay that way.
Or maybe he would stay in the water, let the chill of it take his life. It was a morose thought, like others Aaron had from time to time. Life in general seemed so bleak and fraught with much more bad than good. Funny that he’d been worried about dying from a stupid injury to his knee earlier, and now he was considering the benefits of ending his life.
Aaron closed his eyes, expelled his breath, and let his body sink down. It wouldn’t be so bad, letting go. The first gulp of water would be horrible. After that, surely it’d get easier?
Thoughts like those were only part of the reason he didn’t want to make a child. If he passed down the deep well of unhappiness that sometimes threatened to drown him as thoroughly as the water in the stream could, how was he helping to build mankind back up?
And even more importantly, why would he want to help build it back up? Not if all of humanity lived as his village had to.
Even with all the negative thoughts, when Aaron’s lungs started burning, he was unable to resist coming back up for air. His head broke the surface of the water and he gasped, sucking in a great breath. He flung his head back, his wet hair slapping his neck and shoulders. His heart pounded and his fingers tingled.
Aaron spun around, looking but not finding what he’d hoped to see. There were no glowing yellow eyes in the shrubs. Valen was well and truly gone.
I should have begged to go with him.
Aaron almost laughed at himself. As if Valen would want to be slowed down by him. As if finding a release together meant anything to Valen.
“Get out of the water!”
The sharply yelled order snapped Aaron out of his musings. His heart raced now for an entirely different reason as he looked at his father. “Yes, sir.”
“Walter, remember what we discussed.”
Aaron was relieved to hear his mother Anita’s voice. She was often the voice of reason when Walter was angry with Aaron.
“I’m not likely to forget,” Walter snapped. “Get out of the water before you catch your death!”
Aaron had been trying to do just that. It’d have been the coward’s way out. Part of the reason he’d considered it was to avoid his father’s wrath.
Now there was no way of doing so. Aaron made his way to the bank of the stream.
A figure dismounted from one of the horses. “I’ll help him.”
No one told Lin she couldn’t assist him. She was Aaron’s favorite sister because she had such a big heart.
“Here, Aaron.” Lin held out her hand. “Be careful.” She leaned closer to him. “I won’t let you be hurt.”
Aaron felt more bruised inside than he’d ever been on the outside, and he didn’t understand why. He clasped his sister’s hand and let her assist in pulling him up. Aaron took a couple of steps.
“You’re limping,” Walter pointed out, not very helpfully, Aaron thought.
“I fell out of a tree.” Aaron cringed, waiting to be told how foolish he’d been to climb it in the first place.
Walter only sighed and offered his own big hand to Aaron. “Up with me. No sense in soaking your sister or anyone else.”
Aaron frowned in confusion. He’d expected a slap at the very least, and a solid chewing out. He let go of Lin’s hand and took his father’s instead.
The ease with which Walter hefted him up reminded Aaron of Valen’s strength. It was an inappropriate comparison yet there nonetheless.
“Hold on,” Walter said, as if Aaron didn’t know how to ride behind another person.
Aaron wrapped his arms around his father and closed his eyes as his emotional turmoil ramped up. So much had happened in so short a time, and he couldn’t process it.
All he could do was picture Valen’s eyes, remember the sounds he made when he found his pleasure. Aaron let those memories keep him company on the ride back to the village.
Chapter Six
Valen’s first week as his own alpha was uneventful, which was a good thing as far as he was concerned. After sleeping the morning hours away, he and Rivvie would chase down a meal then laze in the sun for a while, enjoying their full bellies. Valen felt no need to hurry up and move on. They didn’t remain in the same place, with Valen only leading them around the forest to the other side of the village where Aaron resided. That was far enough for now. Fortunately, Rivvie didn’t question or nag him about staying in the area.
Eight days after he’d left his original pack, Valen awoke before Rivvie did, when the sun was still out for another few minutes. Something had disturbed his sleep, a sound that didn’t belong, and in addition to that, Valen had been the recipient of strange dreams, something that rarely happened to him. Last night in the dream, he’d been scaling a great cliff. A glance down and he’d nearly fallen. How he’d come to be there didn’t matter. There’d been no seeing the ground below, nor the top of cliff.
A strong and unsteady wind had kept battering at him. Each gust had carried whispered words of doubt to him. He was too weak, too weird, not smart enough or good enough. He’d never succeed, and never reach the pinnacle and freedom.
“No,” he’d shouted. Valen had kept reaching out for a solid grip, had continued pulling himself up, making slow progress.
Then there’d been no more handholds to be found, and the cliff had suddenly slanted at an angle that had assured Valen’s failure. His hands had slipped, as had his feet. He’d been holding on by three fingers, screaming in fury over the injustice of his lot, when a small, soft hand had appeared to him from nowhere.
Everything had stopped, except Valen’s ability to tip his head back.
And there he’d been, so close to the very edge of the cliff, so close to safety. All he’d had to do was take the hand that was offered him.
The dream—the same one he’d been having for several nights now—played over again in his mind as Valen traipsed to the stream. He was smart enough to know it all had to do with his fears about being a good alpha and his unhappiness about having to leave the pack he’d grown up in. He had his insecurities, though like any strong alpha, he didn’t discuss them. It simply wasn’t done.
Not in the pack he’d come from.
He supposed the hand reaching down to help him had been someone acting as his savior. Valen snorted at that. He sniffed around, trying to find the cause of the noise he’d thought had pulled him from his sleep. When nothing turned up, Valen concluded that it’d all been part of his dream.
Instead of going to the closest part of the stream, he took a run, stretching his legs. When he came to the place where he’d last seen Aaron, Valen stopped.
At the water’s edge, he could still scent the horses and riders from days ago. Valen had hidden away in the brush and watched Aaron, unreasonably concerned for the man.
Something had seemed off about him as Aaron had sunk beneath the cool surface. Just when Valen had considered diving in and pulling Aaron from the water, he’d shot up, gasping and slinging his wet hair back. There’d been a melancholy about him that Valen still found worrisome.
At least no one had tried to harm Aaron. That was why Valen had hung around. He’d felt sort of responsible for the man after bringing him to such a release, and there’d been hints in the conversation they’d shared that had made Valen think humans might still be practicing violence, even against their own pack or village members.
But Aaron had been treated carefully. Valen hadn’t liked seeing him pressed so closely to another man, which was ridiculous. Valen had no claim on him. Also, a good whiff and Valen had known that the man Walter was Aaron’s father.
“Figured I’d find you here.”
Valen glanced behind him to see Rivvie standing and stretching.
Valen shifted and stood up. “Why’s that?”
Rivvie looked at him like Valen was a fool. “Seriously? Because you are pining for that human, like it isn’t obvious.”
So much for Rivvie not nagging him or giving him shit, and denying it would require too much effort. “Yes. I want him.”
“You had him,” Rivvie pointed out.
“I want him more, then,” Valen said. “I want him many different ways.”
Rivvie strolled over, scratching his hefty balls absently. “Is it ‘cause he’s a Human?”
“No.” At least, Valen didn’t think so.
“Huh. Guess he’s kinda cute, he’s just really puny, Valen. I don’t think he could survive on his own.” Rivvie knelt and scooped some water into his hands. “That’s kinda a big deal.”
“That’s what packs are for,” Valen said, the need to defend Aaron instantly springing up. “Everyone works together to ensure our survival and prosperity. You know there are those in Father’s pack that couldn’t make it on their own, either.”
Rivvie slurped the water up then shook his hands. “Sure there are. I’m just saying, if Aaron were to get kicked out of his village or leave it on his own, he’d be fucked. That’s all.”
Valen considering giving Rivvie’s bare butt a nudge. Rivvie was being too serious and logical. Pushing Rivvie in was more like something Rivvie would do to him, Valen realized.
He tapped Rivvie’s ass with his toes.
“Valen!” Rivvie yelped before falling face first into the stream.
Valen laughed and moved back. He had every expectation that Rivvie would come up wanting to douse him in return.
Sure enough, Rivvie bobbed up and spat water at him.
“Impressive distance,” Valen noted as he leaped back another yard or so.
Rivvie cocked his head and gave Valen a considering look. “You know, Father said this wouldn’t work, that brothers like us don’t make good pack mates. I admit I was insulted, and pissed off. We’re going to prove him wrong.”
Valen had the utmost respect for their father, which didn’t mean he wasn’t angry at him. “Why would he say that? His brother is in the pack with him.”
“Yeah, but Uncle Ernest is gay,” Rivvie pointed out unnecessarily.
“Yes, and? What does that have to do with anything?” Valen asked.
“No competing for the same gender.” Rivvie slicked back his wet hair. “Whereas I’m gay, you’re gay, we both think Aaron was a stud—”
Valen growled and was in Rivvie’s face instantly. “Don’t even think about it!”
Rivvie bared his neck and averted his gaze, the first time he’d ever physically shown that he accepted Valen’s strength over his own. “I wasn’t. That’s just it, Val. I don’t want to take your guy. Father said it would be an issue until you are mated with someone. That, and me being so…so…” Rivvie sighed and seemed to shrink right before Valen’s eyes. “Vapid. Father said I can’t be serious long enough to be a beta or anything more than an omega, and omegas are great, you and I both know that. They keep the packs happy and entertained, and we need them, but that’s not me. I don’t want it to be me.”
“He called you vapid?” Valen asked, hurt for his brother’s sake. He gently stroked Rivvie’s arms.
“Yeah, he did, and I know he’s got a point. I’m not stupid. I’ll never be the smartest guy in the pack. I can’t be smarter than what I am already. I can’t make my brain work better. What I am and will be, always, is loyal,” he said urgently, still offering his neck to Valen. “I can learn to do whatever I need to so I’ll be the best beta you’ll ever have. I can still learn.”