Royce (67 page)

In the beginning he came home early and never went on a business trip or played a lot of golf, but then around March less than a year into their marriage his grueling work schedule kicked in and he started staying at the office late at least three to five times a week, and he worked late on the eves of Thanksgiving and Christmas, coming home so late sometimes on Christmas Eve they had to scramble to put the kids toys out since she refused to do it without him and waited up. 

She loved Walker, loved him with everything in her and she loved the life she had and the children.  Their children when she looked at them her heart just melted at what she and Walker made.  And when Royce disappeared it broke her heart and she cried to him, “Find him Walker, you have to find my baby!”  And he said, “Oh I will, and I will bring him home with or without his wife and children!”  And she said, “What do you mean?  He’s not coming back without his wife and children?”  She thought that was crazy for him to think that, and he said, “If I have to bring him back without them I will!”  And after years went by and she was still worried and wondering where her baby was and asked Walker, “Why haven’t you found him?  It can’t be that hard, he has a wife and children with him for god’s sake!”  “I know it was foolhardy for him to do what he did, but if he hadn’t married that negra none of this would be happening!”  And she ignored it.

And after his death when she chanced upon another safe in his office.  She’d always thought there was one safe in the office, the one behind her portrait and the combination was her birthday, but the maid was cleaning Walker’s portrait one day and a huge spider jumped down on her and she screamed a bloodcurdling scream and they all ran in to see what was going on and she went to straighten the skewed picture and felt it rub against something and looked behind it and found another safe, and she couldn’t open it.  She used every birthday in the house and it still wouldn’t open, it took a safe smith to come out and he discovered the combination, 3, 29, 19, 31 and she had no idea why those numbers but he got it open and she found Henrietta Johnson.

There were love letters from her, there were souvenirs he’d kept, an old yellowed cloth napkin from a place called Freddie  Macs.  There was an old picture of a Negro girl, it was sepia, her shoulders bare wrapped in a fur like shawl, her hair was short and styled in a classic 1950’s style and she was young and very beautiful.  There were other pictures of children of various ages, graduation pictures, baby pictures and wedding pictures of all these black people and she had no idea who they were and why he had them.  Then she saw a copy of a will, a will drawn up by the same attorney who’d drawn up theirs and it left this Henrietta Johnson twenty-five million dollars with a stipulation that she give each of her children a million dollars and she had no idea why he’d leave this person so much money. 

She contacted the lawyer and demanded he tell her what he knew and even though he wouldn’t tell her anything he gave her an address.  And she found herself sitting in a yellow house crying in front of Walker’s black mistress.  She left that house and did what she did best she pushed it aside and ignored it, and it was Dillon who made her understand she couldn’t ignore things anymore.  It was Dillon who she loved with all her heart standing in this same drawing room holding onto his black wife’s hand saying, “I’m not like dad, I will not come back if any of you have a problem with this,” and she didn’t understand what he was talking about.  Why would she have a problem with him being married to a black woman?  And then he looked at his mother and she realized Tammy was the problem, Tammy did keep her from Royce.  She did try to murder his wife and children and that hurt Royce, hurt him so bad and her letting Tammy stay here said she didn’t care about that.

And the way Dillon looked at her and Tommy she could see he thought they felt the same and Walker’s words came back to her,
if he hadn’t married that negra none of this would be happening,
and she couldn’t understand why he thought that of her.  She was a supporter of The Woman’s Movement, Roe v. Wade, the Civil Rights Movement, John and Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King and Lyndon Johnson, and she’d voted for President Obama twice and the hot button issue of the day was if gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry and one of her best friend’s son Stephen was gay.  She’d known him all his life and she’d known he was gay all his life too, even at three years old she remembered him so sure of himself and walking around in his mother’s high heels, he was the sweetest little boy. 

He reminded her of her baby Royce, Royce was so sure of himself at three too.  He wanted nothing more than to ride horses and wear his cowboy boots, even to bed and she’d scold him, “No Royce you’re going to sleep, you don’t need your boots,” and she remembered him saying, “But I do need them, I ride in my sleep too mother,” and her heart melted.  She thought everyone, no matter your race, gender or what part of the world you lived in had a right to live, love and be happy but of course she never said these things out loud.  These were things she thought, out loud she adopted her favorite line, “Oh I don’t know about that Walker, you decide.”

So she asked Dillon that day, “Why would I have a problem with you marrying?  I couldn’t be happier for you,” and he looked at her.  “Because grandpa did and you went along with whatever grandpa said.  Grandpa and mom were working together.   They sent men after dad and Ms. Joy and that’s why they ran,” and she felt the blood drain from her body and her heart break. 
Royce oh Royce, you think I was in on that
, and she sent Tammy away.  And she realized she’d done what she did best when Royce tried to tell her, tried to tell all of them what Walker had done she ignored it, pushed it aside and pretended it didn’t matter and he wouldn’t see her because of it.

She walked towards her son her heart in her hands hoping he’d forgive her and she saw him.  Saw him beautiful and radiant and realized she didn’t know this man, but she wanted to know this beautiful man.  She saw a wariness in his eyes but his smile was bright and he held on to his wife’s hand and she looked at her and she saw a beautiful stunning woman at his side. 

She walked to them and stopped, tears in her eyes, seeing her baby boy for the first time in over ten years, “Royce son, I’m sorry, so sorry you had to go through that,” and he fell in her arms and she cried and he cried, “Oh mother, I’m so glad you understand,” and she felt his body shake from his tears and she didn’t ignore that.  She didn’t ignore his anguish and once they’d cried together she looked at the woman by his side and she took Joy’s hand and said, “I’m so sorry, so sorry you had to go through that, so sorry,” she said looking deeply in Joy’s eyes, and she saw the soft forgiving look in Joy’s eyes and she hugged her, hugged her tight, and when she pulled away she still held Joy’s hand and looked at her, and she saw that soft look in Joy’s eyes and her heart melted, “You’re beautiful inside and out and my son is so lucky to have you I can see that,” she said.

Royce wiped tears and then it was the children’s turn, “Oh Royce he looks just like you,” she said of Justin and she gushed over all the children and loving that she had more grandchildren to love, “They’re beautiful Royce, just beautiful, you have a beautiful family.  I can see so much of you in all of them, just beautiful,” she gushed and touched all over them, their hair, their soft cheeks, “Royce, Joy you have got to let them come stay at the ranch a little over the summer, they’d love the ranch,” she said over lunch. 

Tommy and Alice Ann had welcomed them just as hard, and their children most of who were grown, Tommy had two grown daughters with children of their own and Alice Ann three grown daughters and a son, all of them welcomed them, and Joy felt her heart full.  This is what family was supposed to feel like. 

And later the adults retired to the drawing room closed the door and Royce told his family of their adventure across the world.  They marveled and he didn’t hold back on the threats, “It was scary, scary mother, the first attempt nearly cost us our lives.  Assassins came into our home, and when we were in Spain a helicopter flew so low…,” he told it all. He didn’t want his father to get away with what he’d done and he wanted them to know what they were backing when they sided with his father, and they cried every last one of them cried and cried as he told them and he felt
finally they understand.
 

“Oh son I’m so sorry I didn’t know, I didn’t know,” his mother cried, and his brother Tommy said, “It’s hard to believe dad would behave like that in this day and age.  Maybe the times have changed but dad had not,” he said shaking his head and taking a sip of his brandy, “Well I shouldn’t be surprised, even though I’m surprised at how far he took it, but I’m not surprised he had an issue with it.  I remember years back, it was probably six or seven now, but we were looking for a new CFO, and this employment agency calls me said he had the perfect guy, said he was a Harvard grad from Amarillo and he wanted to get back home to Texas.  I thought perfect, Harvard and from Amarillo, you can’t beat that, and he was already a CFO at the company he worked for back east, no contest.  I took this to dad, showed him this guy.  He was perfect and I’ll never forget his name was Warren Johnson and he was a black guy, and dad wouldn’t even consider him, wouldn’t even give him an interview, just said, “Nope, nope not interested, find someone else!”

Royce looked at his mother when his brother said the name and she gave no reaction.  He looked at his brother and it was clear he had no clue he wanted to hire his brother, “…so I should have known he’d have an issue, but I was disappointed he’d act that way.  I looked the guy up to see what happened to him and he made out alright.   He ended up staying back east and now he’s the CEO of the company, but I had no idea dad was that…way,” he paused and looked at Joy as if he’d forgotten she was in the room, and Joy sat there silent through all this conversation. 

She had no idea what to say and they were talking about race and if it should be a problem and she was the only black one in the room and she was thinking,
hell yeah it’s a problem, your husband, your father tried to kill me because of it,
and her mother’s concerns came to her, “When you marry him you marry the family, you need to make sure they’re okay with it or they could give you hell,”
you got that one right momma
, she thought, and the only person she was sure of in that room was Royce, her love. 

She still remembered the night he came to her when her mother brought it up,
it’s just outside covering Joy and yours is a beautiful warm golden brown and mine is plain vanilla,
and she smiled to herself remembering.  But she was glad they were discussing it so she’d know how they felt and after the conversation she was sure it was only his father’s misguided views.  Everyone else was just as shocked as she was that he had a problem with it in the twenty-first century.

And later when Royce was alone with his mother he told her he knew about Hennie Johnson.  He told her how he found out and that Hennie said she’d found out too.  Allison had tried to forget that day, old habits, she knew, “The things you find out when someone passes,” she said, and she told him how she found out and she’d wanted to forget her husband was in love with another woman and she knew Walker was in love with Hennie, especially after she spoke with her and found out they’d been together years before he met her and had children, but also because in the last years before he died he was having these dreams all the time.  These pleasant soothing dreams in his sleep.   

The first time he had one she turned on the lamp to wake him he was talking so much and then she saw the little smile on his lips and the softening of the lines in his face as he murmured in his sleep, “Hennie, Hennie,” and she thought he was dreaming about a time in his life when he was a boy and happy and Hennie was a pet dog or favorite horse, so she smiled at his night time talk and turned off the light and went to sleep with a smile on her face that he was happy in his dreams.  

It was when she met Henrietta it became clear, she held out her hand smiling at her and said, “I’m Henrietta Johnson but you can call me Hennie, is it alright if I call you Allison?” And she cried harder when she heard the name and realized whose name Walker had been murmuring.  Hennie told her she’d stop seeing Walker years before his death and she realized then that’s when the night talking began, he missed his lover.  The woman that he loved and because he wasn’t whispering her name in the dark of night with a smile on his face she knew the woman he loved wasn’t her.

After that weekend visit Royce’s spirit was lifted.  He went back home happy, he had his family back and they delved back into their lives, and for Royce he lived to love Joy.  He was free, free to love her without worry.  Tammy had moved on, his father was gone and Michael was happy and married to someone else, and he was finally able to love Joy the way he’d always wanted and that was just to love her.  And Joy saw that look in his eye, the one in the portrait that hung over their mantle, the one that said he’d figured out life and she always wondered had he? 

She had awakened with a smile on her face this morning Royce had loved her good last night.  He came at her with everything he had to give with his sweet caresses and touches, his lips all over her, his tongue exploring her so deep and then he  turned her over and from behind he gave her the sensual ride she loved. 

Now she was preparing to meet friends,  his friends really, she always called them that.  They’d known him the longest and from what he told her they’d worried about him those years they were gone and he seemed surprised, and she wasn’t, “People care about you babe, why is that so hard to understand?”  But she didn’t know them that well, for her they were the ones who held her back trying to force her to sleep with another man.  The ones who stood off to the side at soccer games and didn’t really interact with her.  The women were the ones that sided with Tammy on the sidelines, and backed her in the courtroom, and even Royce had a problem with them for that and told her, “It’s the fellows I associate with.  I’m not so much into the wives,” so she didn’t know what to expect tonight, but she was ready.