Authors: Mildred Colvin
“Instead of bumper cars, an arcade and video rental will have to do along with the restaurant,” Blake finally said.
“I hope you do well.” Tessa looked away. “There always seems to be room for another restaurant around here. We all like to eat, I guess.”
She stopped the swing and stood. “In fact, if I don’t get something on the table before long, I’ll have three boys demanding food.”
Blake grinned up at her. “How about if I take all of you out?”
“Or you could. . .” Tessa let her suggestion trail off as soon as she realized what she’d almost said. She leaned back against the porch post with her arms crossed, hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“Could what, Tessa?” In one quick motion, he moved from the swing to stand beside her, his hand barely touching her shoulder. “Could stay and eat with you? You may not remember, but I’m a pretty good cook, and I don’t mind helping.”
“I remember.” Tessa almost whispered the words. He stood too close for her to think clearly.
His hand on her shoulder tightened. “What do you remember?” His voice lowered for her ears only. “I remember everything, Tessa. I couldn’t forget no matter how much I tried. For eleven—”
The storm door swung open and Derek tore through. “Hey Mom. Rob says we can’t have supper tonight because you’re entertaining. What’s he talking about?”
“Oh!” Breath she didn’t realize she was holding rushed out. “Where does he come up with such stuff? We were just discussing supper, Derek. Of course we’ll eat.”
Derek’s eyes shone as he looked up at Blake. “Hey, neat. Are you eating with us?”
Blake chuckled. “I am, if your mom will let me.”
“Please, Mom,” Derek pleaded. “Me and Seth like Blake.”
Tessa knew she had no say when Blake transferred his hand from her shoulder to Derek’s, and the two stepped aside to let her go in before them. Blake soon had a crew of three boys working in her kitchen, so Tessa dodged them all while she unloaded the dishwasher. She set the table and poured glasses of iced tea. She listened to Blake instruct Rob in the fine art of browning hamburger and watched her teenage son, who had never before lifted a spatula, stand at the stove as if there was nothing better he wanted to do.
Derek’s job was to wash and shred a lettuce salad while Seth cooked spaghetti and helped Blake toast garlic bread.
“You can’t let the spaghetti cook too long, Seth, or it will get soggy.”
“How am I supposed to know when it’s cooked long enough, then?”
“Lift a strand out with your fork and taste it.” Blake winked at Seth. “That’s the fun of cooking.”
“Hey Blake, how do I drain this hamburger?”
While he helped Rob with the browned meat, Derek called out, “How can I chop stuff up in the lettuce if Mom won’t let me use a sharp knife?”
Blake’s wide eyes met Tessa’s laughing ones across the room. She found the situation funny, because Blake seemed so at home with the boys, yet at times appeared totally lost in dealing with them. She wondered just how much he knew about kids. She sat down at the table with Derek.
“Here, I’ll cut the other veggies up, and you can toss the salad. Will that be all right?” She directed her question toward Blake and got a nod.
“That sounds like a solution to me, but why can’t he use a knife? I’m sure I did at that age.”
Tessa shrugged. “He’s had a few cut fingers. Maybe he’s getting old enough though.”
Derek and Tessa set to work and soon had the salad ready.
“Is it all right if we leave the spaghetti and hamburger sauce on the stove? We could fill our plates from here.”
Tessa turned at Blake’s question and watched him run the fingers of one hand through his hair. “Sure, that’s fine.” The gesture seemed so familiar. “Why don’t we gather around the table for the blessing?”
As the guys stood behind their chairs, Tessa turned to her oldest son. “Rob, since we have a guest and you are the oldest, would you like to pray?”
Rob glanced toward Blake, who stood quietly behind his chair with a solemn expression on his face. He bowed his head, and the others followed his example. “Lord, we thank You for the many blessings You have given us. Thank You for the food we are about to eat and for those who prepared it, even if Seth and Derek did help.”
Tessa heard a soft snort from Blake’s direction but didn’t look. Later she would say something to Rob. Now she remained quiet while he finished his prayer.
“We pray a special blessing on our food and for our guest. In Jesus’ name. Amen.”
“Rob.” Her voice carried a rebuke.
He looked across the table at her with innocent eyes. “Mom, you’ve worked hard all day. Why don’t you sit down, and I’ll fill your plate when I get mine?”
She pulled out her chair and sank into it. “Thanks, Rob. I would appreciate that.”
Knowing Rob, Tessa figured he knew exactly what she’d been about to say, and later he’d likely apologize without additional reprimand. He was a good kid. A ton better than she had been at the same age. Only a year ago, he’d gone forward at a youth crusade and made the decision to serve Jesus Christ. While he still faced the same temptations all teens did, he now had help to resist. Throwing an occasional slur at his younger brothers wasn’t so bad anyway.
She looked up and met Blake’s questioning gaze and smiled. He grinned, lifted his empty plate, and turned toward the stove.
After supper, Blake again took charge by telling the boys that all restaurants have to be cleaned before they close at night. He set Derek to scraping the plates, Seth rinsing them off, and Rob filling the dishwasher. Tessa put away the leftovers, and Blake wiped the table and stove. By the time they finished, Tessa’s head whirled. She’d never had such efficient help. In fact, she couldn’t remember when she’d had any help at all.
The boys disappeared as soon as their jobs ended, and Blake led Tessa to the front porch swing again. She looked across at him as he set the swing in motion.
“I’m not sure this was such a good idea,” she said.
“Sitting on the porch?”
She laughed. “No, having so much help with supper.”
“Why?”
“Mmm.” She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, letting the gentle sway of the swing rock her. “I could get used to the help.”
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“It won’t last.”
Blake’s hand closed around hers, and her eyes opened to his gaze. “We had something special, Tessa.”
Her muscles tensed as she straightened and slipped her hand from his. “That was a long time ago, Blake.”
“Yes, but we could start again. I—”
“No, Blake.” Tessa sprang from the swing and walked to the edge of the porch. She stood with her back to Blake, but she knew he watched. “I can’t go back to what we had. I’ve tried to tell you what has happened in my life. I don’t know how to make it any clearer.”
She turned to look at him. “I volunteer at a women’s shelter here in town. I donate one Saturday a month to work in Granny’s Attic, a secondhand store that helps support them. I also visit the women in the shelter when I can. Do you have any idea how the lives of some of those women have been messed up? Many of them come in for protection from men who abuse them. The sad thing is, they don’t know anything else, and too many go right back for more.”
“You aren’t like that, Tessa.” Blake shook his head. “I would never hurt you.”
“I know, Blake. You wouldn’t hurt me. You are a good man, but many men aren’t.” Tessa felt her heart break at the pleading look in his eyes. How easy it would be to let Blake love her. For years after he left, she had dreamed of him returning and asking for another chance. Now he was here, but it was too late for them. She would never go back to her old life. She had found a love even greater than her love for Blake, and she would not give it up. Jesus had lifted her from the filth of her former lifestyle. He gave her a reason to live.
“Without Christ’s forgiveness, I easily could have been one of those women.”
Blake didn’t speak for several moments, and Tessa thought he might be angry. If only she could help him understand the changes in her life. But she knew when he stood that she had failed again.
He moved to the porch steps. “I’m sorry, Tessa. If you change your mind, will you promise to let me know?”
“I won’t change my mind, Blake. I can’t.”
He touched her chin with his finger. “Hey, thanks for supper. I’ll see you later.”
She watched him walk to the curb where his late-model SUV waited, and her heart felt as if it might break. Just before slipping into the driver’s seat, Blake lifted his hand in farewell. She waved and hoped he didn’t see the tear that slipped from the corner of her eye.
T
he following Thursday evening, Tessa rushed home to find her boys eager for ball practice.
“We’re going to be late, Mom.” Derek met her at the door and would have run past to the car if she hadn’t stopped him.
“Whoa, boy. I need to change clothes.” She held him with one hand and glanced at the watch on her left wrist. “We’ve got exactly twenty minutes. Plenty of time for me to change.”
“You look real pretty, Mom.” Derek followed her inside with a hopeful expression on his face.
Tessa held her laughter in check. “Thank you, sweetheart, but flattery won’t work this time. I refuse to wear pantyhose to your practice in this heat. Why don’t you and Seth load your gloves and drink containers in the car?”
“Oh, I forgot the water.” Derek took off at a run for the kitchen, yelling for Seth, and Tessa did laugh then.
Twenty minutes later, dressed in cutoff jeans, a T-shirt, and her comfortable athletic shoes, she parked at the ball field. The two younger boys scrambled from the car with Rob following at a slower pace. Rob wouldn’t be playing this year, but he expected to find some friends to hang out with. He said they planned to heckle their younger brothers, and he might as well do the same.
Tessa shoved her keys into her pocket then locked and closed the car doors. A small playground with swings, teeter-totter, and slide sat just inside the grassy area between the parking lot and the ball fields. Several children swarmed the equipment with parents moving among them. As Tessa walked past, she spoke to or waved at people she recognized, but she didn’t stop to talk. She headed toward the west field where her boys would be.
Two ball fields had been constructed side by side with a twelve-foot chain-link fence surrounding and separating them. Tessa passed the concession stand and started toward the bleachers. She rounded the seats and started to step on the first rise when she froze in place.
From the corner of her eye, she saw Blake.
With her hand on the railing and one foot lifted, Tessa turned and stared through the mesh fencing at the tall, dark-haired man with his arm draped across Derek’s shoulders. Whatever was he doing here? Especially inside the fence as if he belonged. She planted her foot back on the ground and stomped to the fence.
“Blake.” She clung to the wire and called to him. “Hey Blake.”
Blake turned and a wide smile covered his face when he saw her. “Hey Tessa.”
He jogged over to where she stood. “We’re going for ice cream when practice is over. Will you sit with me?”
“Blake Donovan, what are you doing here?”
He chuckled. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were angry. But since I’m the new coach’s assistant, I know you can’t be. Hey, someone has to do the job.”
The grin on his face didn’t make Tessa feel any better. When she didn’t respond to his joking, he patted her fingers still wrapped around the wire fence. “Why don’t you sit back and watch practice? I’ve got to help the boys now. We’ll talk later.”
Tessa didn’t move while he ran back and started organizing the boys into two parallel lines. She watched as he tossed a ball to the first boy. That boy threw the ball to the boy across from him, who threw it to the next boy in the opposite line. They continued to toss the ball in this way until each boy had a turn both catching and throwing the ball.
By the time they reached the end of the line, Tessa felt as if her mind had bounced along with the ball, going from one problem to another, all centered on Blake Donovan. She released the fence and returned to the bleachers. She sat well away from the scattering of spectators and hoped no one would engage her in conversation while she watched Derek and Blake.
What would she do if someone noticed their similar coloring? What would she do if Blake noticed? She should pull the boys from playing. That would be the perfect solution. If they stayed away from Blake, he would never need to know he had a son.
Is that fair to Blake? He is Derek’s father after all
.
Of course it wasn’t fair. Robbie’s father knew about him. He’d almost killed her and Robbie when he found out. Seth’s father had wanted nothing to do with her or Seth. She’d been glad when he moved away.
Why couldn’t Blake be like the others? Tessa propped her elbow on her crossed knee and rubbed her forehead. She couldn’t take the boys out of baseball any more than she could hide Derek from Blake. Especially not now. A laugh without mirth escaped. They’d already been together enough for a blind man to see the familial connection, so maybe Blake would never notice if she didn’t tell him. She could only hope.
For the rest of practice, Tessa’s conscience warred with her emotions as she wavered between coming clean with Blake or holding close her secret as long as she could. If only she could trust him to stay out of Derek’s life, but she knew Blake would want his son. She couldn’t risk losing Derek.
Again the boys formed two lines, only this time each line ran past the other as the boys slapped hands in a sort of macho handshake. Ball practice had ended. Maybe she could get away now without Blake stopping her.
Derek’s yell as he ran across the bare ground, stirring up dust, told her otherwise. “Mom, we’re going for ice cream. Can I ride with Blake?”
“Ice cream? Don’t we have some in the freezer?” She fumbled for an excuse.
The incredulous look on Derek’s face said she had failed. “You’ve got to be kidding, Mom. We have to go.”
“Yeah, Mom.” Seth joined them. “The coach and Blake are buying. Everyone’s going.”