Rogue (Relentless Book 3) (28 page)

“Why?”

Eldeorin moved before I could blink. He reappeared behind Nikolas with his hands on Nikolas’s shoulders. A second later, Nikolas grunted and his jaw clenched as if he was very uncomfortable, but not in pain.

Solmi!
my Mori cried. I forgot about my pain and ran toward Nikolas. “Stop!”

Desmund grabbed me from behind in an iron grip. “Your life could one day depend on you joining with your Mori. What if it was one of your friends’ lives in danger? Or his? Could you do it then?”

I twisted, unable to break his hold. My eyes narrowed on Eldeorin, who met my furious glare without blinking. “Let him go, or so help me…” Eldeorin was very powerful. What if he accidently used too much of his magic? He could kill Nikolas or seriously harm him. I knew better than anyone what Fae magic could do to a demon, and I didn’t want that anywhere near Nikolas.

“Imagine that is a vampire instead of the faerie,” Desmund said mercilessly in my ear. “What will you do?”

He held me immobile and all I could do was watch Nikolas helplessly as minutes ticked by. My whole body trembled as fear and a violent urge to hurt someone boiled inside me. I was a pressure cooker that was about to explode.

Nikolas grimaced, and I saw pain flash briefly in his eyes.

Desmund slammed into the wall behind me. I moved so fast that Eldeorin barely had time to show his surprise before I ripped him away from Nikolas. The faerie righted himself quickly as I went after him, shaking with rage.

A pair of arms wrapped around me from behind. “It’s okay, Sara. Calm down,” Nikolas said, pulling me back against him. My Mori and I immediately quieted at the sound of his voice and the touch of his skin on mine. I kept my eyes narrowed on Eldeorin, who watched us with blatant curiosity. Friend or no, I was going to kick his ass if he took a single step toward us.

“Fascinating.” Eldeorin leaned against a wall nonchalantly, as if I hadn’t just thrown him across a room. “Sara, are you still joined with your demon?”

“Yes,” I bit out.

Desmund straightened his clothes as he walked over to stand a few feet from Eldeorin. “Interesting.”

I scowled at them. “I’m glad I could entertain you guys.”

Eldeorin ignored my angry retort. “You are not strong enough to throw off a warrior or me with your demon strength. You used your Fae magic.”

“So?”

“You used it while joined with your demon.”

“What?” Fear shot through me, and I turned my attention to my Mori. The demon was calm and unharmed, and happy now that Nikolas was holding us. The realization of what I’d done shook me to the center of my being. Somehow I had used my Fae power while connected to my Mori, without erecting a wall to protect the demon. How was that possible?

Nikolas pulled me closer to him. “What does that mean?”

“I am not sure,” Eldeorin replied, his gaze never leaving me. “Sara has told me that her magic hurts her demon. Perhaps she and her demon have adapted. Or perhaps her Mori is safe from her power when they are joined.”

“Whatever the reason, I was correct in my assumption.” Desmund looked at me. “You think too much about merging with your Mori, instead of just letting it happen naturally. I thought that giving you something else to focus on would make you forget about the joining.”

My anger rose again. “You couldn’t have explained it to me instead?”

“We thought this would be more effective.”

I pulled away from Nikolas, and he released me. “I can’t believe you went along with this.” I fought to keep my voice steady, but hurt crept into it.

Nikolas shook his head. “I didn’t agree at first, but Desmund made me see that you needed incentive.”

I rubbed my arms. “Hurting you is not incentive. It’s cruel.”

“You know Eldeorin would not really harm me.” Nikolas took a step toward me, and I backed up.

Desmund sighed. “I’m sorry you are upset, little one, but I think you will see this was all for the best. We’ve made significant progress in your training today.”

“It is no wonder she cannot join properly with her demon, the way you coddle her.” Eldeorin’s blue gaze locked with mine as he walked toward me. “Everything we do is to help keep you alive, Cousin. I won’t apologize for that, just as I did not apologize for our training.”

Nikolas looked from Eldeorin to me. “Apologize for what?”

“Nothing.” I shot the faerie a warning look.

Eldeorin looked at Nikolas. “Sara did not care for my training techniques either at first.”

I almost snorted. Eldeorin had very different ideas about training, and it wasn’t like I’d had a choice in the matter. It was bad enough training with him and Nikolas separately. I didn’t think I could handle the two of them and Desmund working together.

I breathed deeply, battling the emotions welling inside me. I felt manipulated and angry, and my Mori was still upset about seeing Nikolas in pain. And since we were still joined, I felt every one of its emotions as if they were my own. Looking at my three trainers only intensified my negative feelings.

“I think that’s enough for today.” Nikolas’s tone left no room for argument. “We’ll continue this tomorrow.”

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Once I was away from them, I gently nudged my Mori and it separated from my mind. I heaved a giant sigh as all the noise faded from my head.

I left the house and walked around the small lake twice before I stopped being hurt and angry. I understood their reasons for what they’d done, but it was hard not to be upset they had tricked me, even if their intentions had been honorable.

After the anger passed, I was left with the shock of what I had done. I’d used my power while joined with my Mori, something that before today had been inconceivable to me. But then, I’d never tried to use my power while joined because I didn’t think I could.

I sat in the new gazebo that had been built near the lake. Closing my eyes, I lowered the wall around my Mori.

Are you okay? Did I hurt you?

Solmi hurt,
it replied, still a little upset.

I almost rolled my eyes. One-track mind.
Solmi is okay,
I assured it.
Did the glow burn you?

No burn.
The demon moved forward a little.
Again?
It asked eagerly.

Not yet. Soon.

I opened my eyes and stared at the pretty little lake as I tried to make sense of it all. For the first time, I left the wall down, and my Mori and I sat quietly together, not joined, but as companions. I sighed in contentment.
This is nice, demon. I could get used to this.

It curled up like a happy cat.
Me too.

“
You’re going to
Europe?”

“Tristan suggested it, and with everything that’s going on, I think it’s a good idea.”

I leaned against my balcony railing. “But you don’t like to travel.”

Nate laughed on the other end of the line. “I used to love travelling when I was younger. I guess I lost interest in it for a while, but I’m looking forward to this trip.”

“Are you going alone? Is it safe?”

“Safer than here.” He sobered. “I wish I could convince you to come with me.”

“I wish I could go too, but I can’t right now.” It was hard to think of him being so far away, but at the same time I was relieved he was leaving. It wasn’t safe here anymore, if it ever had been. In the three weeks since the Vancouver mission, Mohiri across the country had come under increasing attacks by vampires. It was as if the entire US vampire population had rallied together to declare war against us. Strongholds were strengthening their security, and some compounds were sending their children overseas.

Whenever I got word that one of our teams was in trouble, Eldeorin and I went to help them. Sadly, we didn’t learn about some of the attacks until they were over. So far, three warriors had been killed and two had been taken. Every day I was terrified that someone I cared about would be next.

Some days, Nikolas and Chris had to leave on Mohiri business, and I haunted the command center until they returned. I tried to be cool about it, but someone must have said something to Nikolas because he started calling me if he was gone more than a few hours. It helped to hear his voice, but I couldn’t stop worrying.

Nate sighed. “I know, but I had to ask. Tell me again that you’re safe there.”

“I’m surrounded by warriors and faeries and this place is under Fae protections. And I’ve learned a lot in the last few months.”

“Desmund told us you’ve come a long way.”

“I have.” My lips curved, and I wasn’t sure if it was a grimace or a smile. Desmund had stayed for almost three weeks to help with my training. After the day I’d thrown him across the gym he hadn’t tried to trick me again. He said he had newfound respect for my Fae powers, but I could tell he felt bad he’d upset me that day. That didn’t mean he had gone easy on me. He’d spent every minute of our training pushing me to work with my Mori and to join with it for longer periods of time. It worked. I could stay connected with my demon for over two hours at a stretch now. And when I wasn’t using my Fae power I often left the wall down between us, something that made us both happier. I no longer felt my demon’s loneliness. It wanted nothing more than to join with me permanently, but it seemed content for now to be free from its cage and to be with me.

Nate chuckled. “To think I used to scold you about fighting, and here you are now, training with warriors.”

“God. those days seem like so long ago, don’t they?”

“A lifetime.”

“Do you miss home?”

He was quiet for a moment. “Some days I do. I know I can’t go back with things the way they are, but someday I’d like to visit again.”

“Me too. I never knew how much I loved it until I had to leave.” I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that the ocean I heard was the Atlantic instead of the Pacific and that instead of standing on a balcony, I was on the roof of our building back home.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about the apartment,” he said, interrupting my daydream.

“What about it? You’re not planning to sell it, are you?”

“I don’t know. It’s not like I need the money, but it seems like such a waste letting it sit there empty.”

“But...” The thought of strangers living in our home made my chest squeeze a little, but it was unfair to ask Nate to hold onto it, especially after what had happened to him there. “You’re right.”

“I’m not going to make any decisions right now,” he replied as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “Judith is going to look after it until I decide what to do with it. I asked her to pack up the last of my books and have them shipped to me here since it’ll probably be a while until I can go back.”

Judith had been so good to Nate and me, watching over our place and taking in our dog, Daisy. According to Roland, Daisy was living on his Uncle Brendan’s farm now and the Beagle loved it there. I had planned to bring Daisy to Westhorne, but I knew she’d be happier at the farm. Brendan had a soft spot for dogs and he’d take good care of her.

Judith had tried to catch my cat, Oscar, too, but he refused to be rescued, and had gone back to his life as a stray on the waterfront. She left food outside our door for him, and she said she caught a glimpse of him every now and then.

Nate spoke to someone in the background then came back to me. “Listen, I have to go. I promised Desmund I’d play a game of chess with him.”

“Chess with Desmund?” I let out a small laugh. “Well, it was nice knowing you.”

“I happen to be a good chess player,” he said with mock chagrin. “And he is an interesting fellow. Do you know how many wars he’s lived through?”

Maybe I should have said “Poor Desmund.” Nate loved anything that had to do with wars and military, and he’d grill the warrior until Desmund went back into hiding.

“All right, I’ll talk to you later.” I hung up the phone and checked the clock by my bed. It was three o’clock, and I expected Eldeorin any minute for our daily training. Aine had returned to Faerie last week, saying that my training with her was complete. I’d been sad to see her go because we’d grown close the last few months. And because now that I had more free time, Eldeorin had stepped up his training. I’d lost count of the number of vampires and other nasty things I’d taken out in the last three weeks.

One of the worst was the incubus who had been stalking women in New York. Incubi could choose not to kill the women they fed off, but this one had relished draining the life from his victims. He’d been a real piece of work, and I shuddered every time I remembered the way he’d practically devoured me with his eyes as I lured him outside of that night club. I’d showered for thirty minutes after I got home and swore I’d never go within ten feet of another incubus. Next time I had to go after one of those bastards, I was taking him out with a crossbow.

“Why the sour expression?”

I spun to face Eldeorin who stood in the doorway to my bedroom. I should have been used to him sneaking up on me by now. “Thinking about New York.”

He nodded and walked over to join me at the railing. “Ah, the incubus. That was a clean kill, Cousin. You should be proud of it.”

I made a face. “Well, I didn’t feel very clean after. Please tell me we aren’t going after another one of those.”

“Actually, I was thinking we would do something different today.” His blue eyes sparkled, and I wasn’t sure whether to be nervous or excited. “Are you ready to go?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

He took my hand, and I felt the familiar void swallow us. When we arrived at our destination, I had to blink a few times to be sure what I was seeing was real. I turned slowly, taking in the sight of the pale yellow kitchen as my ears picked up the faint clang of a buoy out on the ocean. I ran to the window over the sink and stared at the snow-covered waterfront and the wide bay I’d thought about so many times since I’d left here all those months ago.

“I overheard you talking to your uncle, and I thought you might like to visit this place for a little while.”

A golf ball sized lump lodged in my throat. “Thank you.” I drank in the view outside the window for a few minutes before I turned away to walk through the apartment. Except for a few things that Tristan had collected for Nate like his computer and clothes, the downstairs looked just like we had left it. I stood in the doorway to Nate’s office, remembering him sitting behind his desk working on his books.

My legs carried me up the stairs as if they had a will of their own, and I looked around the empty loft that used to be my bedroom. The floor creaked as I walked around the open space, my footsteps echoing in the silence. 

I sat on the old couch and sank back into the cushions. “Roland loved this old thing. When he used to sleep over, he never wanted to get up in the morning.”

“You are very close to the werewolf,” Eldeorin said from where he stood at the top of the stairs.

“He’s my best friend. I love him.” I stared at the floor as it hit me that I’d never actually told Roland how much I cared about him. I knew that he knew I cared, but I still should have said the words. If I’d learned anything in my eighteen years it was that happiness was fragile, and those you loved could be taken from you in a heartbeat. With everything we’d been through in the last six months and all the turmoil in our world now, I should have said something to him. Like I should have told Remy before it was too late, and Nate before I almost lost him. Like I should say something to Nikolas.

“You look sad. I thought coming here would make you happy.”

“I’m not sad. I’m thinking about how lucky I am to have so many people I care about.” I looked at Eldeorin. “Can I ask you something? Have you ever been in love?”

“Many times.” His eyes sparkled with laughter. “Though not the kind of love you have for your warrior.”

“Do faeries ever fall in love and settle down with one person?”

“Not often, but it does happen. I have not met one person in my thousand years who enticed me to ‘settle down’, as you put it.”

“I can’t imagine living alone that long.”

He laughed. “You should know by now, Cousin, that I am rarely alone.”

I shook my head. I’d heard more about his “relationships” than I ever cared to know. Faeries loved freely and frequently, and they also liked to share stories. So much for not kissing and telling. That concept did not exist in their world.

Eldeorin walked to the center of the loft and looked around. “This is a very drab room. You liked living here?”

I smiled, imagining how the place looked to a faerie who was used to every comfort. “In the summer you can open the windows and get a cool breeze right off the ocean. And in the winter when there’s a good storm, the whole building creaks and you can hear the wind howling down the chimney.”

“Sounds absolutely dreadful.”

“Not to me.”

I headed downstairs again. Everywhere I looked brought up old memories, and I absorbed them all like a plant drinking in the sunlight. God only knew when – if ever – I’d see this place again, and I wanted to make the most of my time here.

I was in the front hallway when I heard faint scratching, and I looked around to see where it could be coming from. It didn’t take long to figure out it was coming from the door. I started to ask Eldeorin what it could be when I heard a plaintive mewling.

“Oscar?” I looked at Eldeorin, who nodded that it was safe, and then I ran to open the door. A skinny gray tabby slipped inside and immediately began to rub against my legs. I locked the door again and bent to scoop the cat into my arms. “Oh, Oscar, I missed you.”

He’d lost weight, which was to be expected, but otherwise he looked and felt healthy. His ears and paws were cold, and he rubbed his head against my chin as his motorboat purr filled the room.

I hugged him protectively. “I can’t leave him here.”

Eldeorin let out a resigned sigh. “Demons and werewolves and now stray felines. My house will never be the same after this.”

“I thought faeries were supposed to be in tune with nature and animals.”

“I adore animals as long as they stay in nature.”

I stroked Oscar’s neck as I walked around the apartment. “Not me. I want a house full of them someday.”

Eldeorin made a face. “Then I pray you’ll wait until you have your own house.”

“Are you sure? Hellhounds make awfully good guard dogs.”

His horrified expression made me laugh.

“Kidding.”

The gleam that entered his eyes told me I was probably going to pay for my fun. I just hoped it wasn’t another incubus.

“Are you ready to leave, Cousin?”

I wasn’t, but I knew we couldn’t stay much longer. “Can I have a few more minutes?”

“As you wish.”

Setting Oscar on the floor, I wandered around the apartment one last time with him trailing close behind me as if he was afraid I’d leave him again. In the living room, I sat in the armchair near the cold fireplace and thought about the night I’d sat here with Nikolas. That was the first time I’d seen a side of him other than the warrior, and looking back it was easy to see how it had been a turning point in our relationship. I wondered how I would have behaved that night if I’d had any inkling where things would go between the two of us. When I’d offered him a truce, I’d had no idea that he would claim my heart as well.

Oscar meowed to get my attention and I pushed up out of the chair. My gaze fell on a cardboard box on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. There was nothing special about the box other than the fact that my name was written on the top in Nate’s handwriting. Strange. I was sure I’d had all my things shipped to Westhorne last fall.

I picked up the box, which didn’t weigh much, and laid it on the coffee table. Lifting the cover I peered at the contents. There were a few books, a photo album, some small framed pictures, ornaments, and a thin bundle of letters. None of it belonged to me. So why had Nate written my name on the box?