Rodeo Queen (17 page)

Who was he kidding? She didn’t want anything to do with him. If he even tried to make a move for her, she’d probably die laughing. Although she didn’t seem inclined to laugh today, he realized. She’d seemed like she was longing for his touch as much as he craved hers. He crumpled up his empty soda can and tossed it into the garbage bag tied to the end of the trailer. There had to be some way that they could co-exist. He’d just have to figure it out, and soon.

S
COTT STEPPED OUT
into the cool morning. The sun had just crested the hills surrounding the rodeo grounds, casting a pink and orange hue to the sky. He knew that the coolness now would burn off quickly, but the weather here was always cooler, even in mid-spring, than at home. He made his way toward the horses and saw alfalfa leaves and stalks scattered. Several of them were already finished eating and were saddled and tied outside the arena gate. He headed toward the standing horses and saw Sydney in the arena on his horse, Noble. He leaned against the fence, watching her ride, loping in gradually arcing circles before sliding to a halt. She didn’t appear to move a muscle or cue the gelding as he began to prance sideways before taking off in a smooth lope in the opposite direction. Scott marveled at her knack for getting the animal to do things he hadn’t even thought of trying. She practically had his horse dancing.

She patted Noble’s neck and spotted him at the fence. Reining the gelding toward him, she came to a stop behind the fence.

“Morning,” she said brightly.

“Morning. You’re up early.” Scott pointed at the paint. “How’s he doing?”

“Noble?” She leaned forward and rubbed the gelding’s neck. “He’s a good boy. Aren’t you?” The gelding’s ears twitched at her voice and he turned to look at her. “But he loves to run.”

Scott pointed at the horses tied to the fence. “You ready for the next one?”

“I was up early so those have already been ridden and cooled off. I just need to unsaddle them.”

Scott did the mental calculation. It was barely seven in the morning, and allowing for the horses to eat, she must have been up around three o’clock. He wondered what had kept her awake and remembered the nightmare he’d witnessed. He’d have to remember to ask Jennifer if she’d heard anything.

“So, you’re already finished for the day?”

Sydney shrugged. “Unless you have anything else for me to do today.”

“Good, you can come to breakfast with me.” He hadn’t planned on asking her to join him, but it seemed like a good idea in the spur of the moment. Maybe, away from everyone, they could just talk. Sydney arched a brow and he could only imagine the questions running through her mind. He hadn’t exactly given her reason to trust him.

“Is that an order from my boss or an invitation from you?”

Scott rubbed his hand across the overnight growth of stubble. Why was she making this more difficult? “Does it have to be an order?”

Sydney tipped her chin up in defiance. “No.”

Scott couldn’t help but smile at her courageous façade. “Then I’ll unsaddle the horses and you finish cooling off Noble and clean up. I’ll meet you at the trailer in fifteen minutes.”

A
FTER WALKING
N
OBLE
until he was cooled off, unsaddling him, and hurrying to the trailer to clean up, Sydney stepped out to see Scott waiting at the truck. She tried to think of any reason Scott would want to have breakfast with her and nothing had surfaced. While a small, hopeful part of her was looking forward to their time together, her logical, pessimistic side dreaded the battle that was sure to come from the two of them talking. She’d come to wonder if they weren’t more like oil and water: completely incompatible, even as friends.

She started walking to the truck and was surprised to see him get out of the driver’s side and open her door. She sat down and eyed him speculatively. Scott frowned as he got back into the truck but said nothing and she wondered what she’d done wrong already. They rode in uncomfortable silence for several miles until he pulled into an empty parking lot. It was surrounded by ponderosa pines and sagebrush with a few daisies peeking through. Just past a worn trail, a small creek flowed.

“I thought we were going to breakfast.”

Scott smiled mischievously. “We are.” He exited the truck and reached into the back for a backpack in the bed of the truck. He hurried to her door and opened it before she could. “Come on.”

Sydney didn’t know what to say. It was not what she’d expected, and she was a little surprised to say the least. Scott ushered her down a wide slope, not stopping until they reached an open, flattened area along the bank of the creek. He pulled a light throw blanket from the backpack and spread it on the ground, motioning for her to sit. She followed his lead and leaned back on her palms, crossing her feet in front of her.

She still wasn’t sure where he intended for this breakfast to lead, but she decided to take a chance. “Pretty spot.” She stared out across the water gurgling slowly past them.

“Yeah, I found it a few years ago by accident when I was looking for a mechanic to fix a flat tire. I didn’t have GPS and got turned around on the map. Luckily, the mechanic wasn’t too far from here and I eventually got the tire repaired.”

Sydney laughed quietly. “And now you have the GPS in the truck, I see.”

“Not gonna make the same mistake twice.” Scott smiled. “I try to come by if I have time when we are up this way. It’s a relaxing spot. At least now,” he clarified when she looked at him skeptically.

She liked seeing him relax and let his guard down. She watched him stare at the water. His entire being seemed to lighten. He shoulders didn’t seem so straight, his face relaxed, and his eyes almost gleamed with delight. Away from the worries of the stock, schedules, and responsibilities of the rodeo, Scott seemed almost serene. He turned toward her, his lopsided smile curving his lips.

“What?” He chuckled.

Sydney returned his smile, not worrying about anything that had passed between them previously. This almost seemed like a different man—except his smile still sent her heart pounding like a racehorse. With the shadow of scruff still on his jaw, he looked dashing. “I’m just wondering why you act like such a tough guy?”

His face clouded over instantly, and she felt guilty for dampening his lighthearted mood. “What do you mean?”

“You only let people see the rough cowboy side.” She lowered her gaze. “You obviously enjoy this.” She waved toward the water. “There’s more to you than this cowboy persona.”

“You think so?” His lopsided smile returned and she could tell he was teasing her. “Like what?”

Sydney decided to play along. “Are you fishing for a compliment, Mr. Chandler?”

“Maybe.”

“Okay, well, we know you like to cook.” She laughed out loud when he raised his brows and gave her a dubious look. “Sort of.”

“Anything else?” He reached into the backpack and pulled out a loaf of fresh French bread, some spreadable cheese, and a plastic container of fresh fruit. He reached in again for a thermos and two Styrofoam cups and filled them with steaming coffee. “Can’t think of anything else?” he asked as he handed her the cup.

“Give me more time. I’m sure I’ll think of at least one more,” Sydney suggested as she took the cup from him and reached for a green apple in the container.

Scott’s eyes shone wickedly. “I think you’re going to have to pay for that one, princess,” he promised.

Sydney could feel a blush spread to her cheeks, anticipating the payment his eyes said he had in mind. She feigned sudden interest in the food before her. “Okay,” he conceded. “Enough about me. Why don’t we change the subject?” he offered.

“These strawberries are delicious.” Sydney caught the juice as it started to run down her chin and reached for another. She closed her eyes and savored the sweet berry.

“Now Sydney,” Scott scolded. “I’m sure you can think of something better than the berries to talk about.”

She lifted the cup in her hand and blew on the coffee to cool it. “We could talk about your girlfriend,” she suggested, refusing to meet his eyes.

Scott bent his knee and settled back into one arm, lifting the coffee to his lips and sipping it. The muscles of his triceps flexed as he leaned back, his t-shirt tightening across his chest, revealing a solid wall of muscle beneath the thin cotton. Sydney shifted her gaze to his face, waiting for his anger, surprised when it never materialized.

“What did you want to know?” he asked agreeably.

Sydney shrugged, suddenly unsure of how to react to this candid version of Scott. “Nothing. Never mind, it’s none of my business.”

Scott looked over at her. His face held none of his usual imperviousness. “You brought her up, Sydney, so there must be something you want to know about her.”

Sydney rose and walked to the edge of the water, sorry she’d even said anything. She’d opened up a can of worms she wasn’t sure she was ready to deal with. She certainly couldn’t confess that Jennifer had told her about his past with Liz without betraying her friend. But she hadn’t expected Scott to be open about their relationship.

“Maybe you’d like to know who Liz is? Or why she showed up without warning? Or what my relationship is with her?” She heard Scott stand and start walking across the short distance that separated them. “What is it that you want to know, princess?”

“Yes . . . no . . . I don’t know!” Sydney threw her hands up in frustration and turned to find that he stood mere feet away, watching her.

“Sydney, come here.” No matter how softly spoken, it was another command. She was tired of feeling confused and ordered around by him, so she remained where she was, quietly defiant. “Please? Don’t make this any harder than it already is for me.”

She met his gaze and recognized the courage it was taking him to open up to her. He was offering her something she had yet to see him give anyone other than Mike. His eyes promised her complete vulnerability. Sydney prayed she could give him the same. She wanted to touch him, her fingers itched to reach out to him, to make it easier to release his pride.

She stepped closer and Scott reached for her hand, pulling her back toward the blanket. He sat down but remained holding on to her fingers, playing absently with her nails as if to distract himself from the memories.

“Tell me.”

Scott sighed and recounted a brief version of his past relationship with Liz. He didn’t omit anything about how much he’d cared for Liz or how foolish he’d felt when he realized she’d betrayed him with his best friend. “Now can you see why there is nothing between Liz and me anymore? At least, not for me.”

“But it’s not over for her, Scott.”

“Sydney, any feelings I had for her died the day I found her with Kurt.” She felt her heart stop. It couldn’t possibly be the same person.

“Sydney, what’s wrong? You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“Kurt . . . Willits?” Her voice was barely a hoarse whisper. She hated that after all this time, even his name still held the power to make her feel weak.

Scott nodded. “He’s lucky I didn’t kill him then. I haven’t seen him since, but I heard he was traveling the circuit.” He slipped his finger under her chin. “Are you okay?”

Sydney nodded. “I’m fine, it’s nothing. Just feeling a little light-headed, I guess.”

“Sydney, you mentioned Kurt once before. We can talk about it.”

His voice was so kind and her heart pleaded with her to tell him, to open up and be as vulnerable as he was being. She wanted to share with him, but her mind refused to take part. If she told him now, he’d see her differently. He’d always view her as the weak Sydney who needed rescuing.
As opposed to the lying Sydney
, her heart argued. She found a compromise between the two.

“Not yet, Scott.” She prayed he could understand that she needed more time. “Someday. But not today.”

Sydney could see that he wanted to push her for more, to ask questions she wasn’t ready to understand. Instead of pressing her, he nodded, but there was a lingering feeling of distrust. Scott placed the lid back on the fruit.

“We should be heading back soon.” He put the rest of the food back into the pack.

Sydney wanted to stop him, hating that he had just begun to start opening up when she slammed on the brakes. “Okay.” She rose and picked up the blanket, shaking the dust off of it before folding it and giving it to him.

As they headed back to the truck, Scott placed a hand at her lower back. She hoped his touch was an indication that he wasn’t giving up on her just yet. Dropping the pack into the bed of the truck, he reached around her and opened the passenger door.

“Sydney?” His voice was quiet as she slid into the truck. He stood in the open doorway looking down at her. “Is this going to change anything between us?”

Did he mean breakfast, his vulnerability, or her refusal to open up? “I don’t know, Scott. Will it?”

Chapter Eleven

S
YDNEY HAD BARELY
entered the trailer doors when Jen began to grill her about her breakfast with Scott. “Whoa!” She held up her hands to her friend in retreat. “I give up. He told me about his past with Liz.”

“Finally!” Jennifer breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m not sure it changes anything.” She shook her head and sat on the couch. “There’s just so much water under the bridge already.”

“And some words still left unspoken?”

Jennifer was far too observant, Sydney realized. “That too.”

“Look,” Jennifer said as she sat on the couch and put her arm around Sydney. “I don’t know what it is that you are keeping bottled up, and you don’t have to tell me, but maybe the reason Scott didn’t tell you was because he wanted to keep those memories in the past where he thought no one would have to deal with them, just like you’re doing.”

Sydney could understand those reasons. They were the same ones she had tried to convince herself were true. The problem with Jennifer’s logic was that it wasn’t true. The past always came back and haunted the present.

“Okay, so here are the plans for the party.” Jen deftly changed the subject. “We have a radio and some MP3 players, so there will be plenty of music. The boys are going to keep Clay and Scott out working later than usual tonight to give us more time.”