Rocked Under (23 page)

"I remember shouting at him, calling him a bastard, and then I ran. He called after me but I ignored him. I’ll never forget the shock on his face. I instantly wanted revenge."
 

A sob broke out from my lips, "I wasn't thinking rationally, I never do when I'm angry. I went into the most exclusive club in London where I was known and got out of my face. I scored some coke and did it right in front of everyone while calling my dad a cheating bastard. I was wrecked, totally wasted and danced like a fucking stripper — well, you saw it didn't you." Tears flowed freely down my face.

"I thought, if he could misbehave then so can I. I spent most of my life being told how to act and speak in public like a lady but I wanted him to know that I'd had enough and mum and I wouldn't be pretending anymore. In my anger, I let a guy record me sniffing that crap, I hated it but I wanted to show him that I wasn’t his little princess anymore.”

Scott seemed totally unsurprised by it all.

“The next day it was everywhere, in the papers, online and I was literally the talk of Britain. My reputation as the perfect daughter died that night and I–I was
glad
. My mum went nuts so I told her what had happened and why I did it. In a way, it was a blessing in disguise because it made her see that she needed to do something. She banned him from coming to see us at the house and divorced him on the grounds of adultery, took half of everything and moved us over here."

"I realise now that he has a cocaine habit but he could’ve been honest with us, we could’ve helped him. My mum spent years trapped in her own love for this one man who was making both of us miserable.”
 

Scott wiped my tears away again and held me tight. "Baby, I'm sorry you had to go through that. I wish I could've been there for you."

“Scott?” I said in a small voice as I looked up at him.

“What, baby?”

“I’m so glad that you’re here, I mean, I know we haven’t been on the best of terms lately but I’m happy that you don’t hate me.”

He shook his head, “I could never hate you.” His voice was low and rough as his eyes pinned mine. “Never.”

Chapter Twenty-six

The beginning of February came around and excitement fizzed within me as I got ready to go to Macy's to watch Scott's gig. He had been my rock for me recently so the least I could do was keep my promise to get out of the apartment tonight and actually listen to some of his new stuff. The thought of seeing him on stage after so long had me shaking as I applied my make up.
 

I hadn't been out for weeks, not since it all come out and it was all thanks to Adam and his detent>ctive work. Scott went after him for it and we heard that he got transferred somewhere else, which pleased me. Scott never talked about what happened but I know he threatened him to leave me alone. It must have been a good threat. So, while I was sort of hiding, I spent most of my time catching up with work, reading and watching movies while I came to terms with everything. Since leaving England, I hadn't let myself think about anything in depth but since talking to my mum I saw things differently. My feelings towards my dad changed somehow.
 

I spent the last weeks thinking things through from an adults perspective, instead of through the eyes of a hurt child. Things were never black and white, and I realised that, in his own way, my dad hid his habit from us through shame. Maybe he didn't stay away because he didn't love us, but maybe it was because he
did
love us. My memories of him before all the shit happened were that of a family man who loved his wife and his daughter.
 

I remember he used to tuck me into my bed at night and read to me softly until I was asleep. I remembered the moments when he would look at me through soft, dark coffee eyes that were full of love. There were so many things I remembered that conflicted strongly with the man he was today. I knew I needed to talk to him and one day I would but just, not yet.
 

We arrived and went straight to our table which was reserved for us. As friends of Scott’s, we would always have this table to ourselves. When Scott came on stage, it was the usual buzz. Girls screamed his name as they rushed to the front in a frenzied battle to be the one who caught his attention first. He stood there, much like he had on his first night, silhouetted against the spotlight. He was silent. Still. A hush came over the building while they waited for him to start.
 

When he did, my heart leapt into my throat. He was looking directly at me with a sexy smile and a wink. Eyes turned towards me, girls eyed me with unveiled envy. His gaze trapped mine and I suddenly felt as though we were the only two people in the room. It was like he was a different person on stage. As though he felt braver, like anything could and would happen.

I looked away but only because the stares I was getting was making me uneasy. I sneaked a peek back to Scott but he was still watching me as he sang his ballad. I glowered at him while shaking my head and I knew he got the message
 
as he grinned and looked away. I finished my drink and got up to dance. I stayed towards the back and started swaying, moving with the music, letting it guide my body.

Scott’s eyes touched me every now and then but I didn’t mind. Every time Scott was on stage, it was like falling under his spell all over again and I loved and hated that feeling all at once. When he came off stage he came over to me and planted a kiss on my cheek. This was a new thing with him. He always kissed me now but it was always in a friendly way.

“You actually came out from your fuckin' cave,” he slung his arm around my shoulders, his eyes twinkling.

“I told yo">shouldeu I would,” I looked up into his handsome face, taking in every fine detail.

“You wanna dance?”
 

“I’m going to get a drink. Later?”

He nodded and let me go.
 

A while later I saw him dancing with someone. I watched him and every now and then, he would glance at me and then look away. I didn't know why he felt so protective of me but a part of me revelled in the feeling of being safe and having someone there to watch my back. I'd never had that before. Most of the friends I had back home were handpicked by my dad because of their parents social status.

A man came up behind the girl Scott was dancing with and pulled her away from Scott. I stopped dancing. The girl struggled out of his hold and Scott stepped in, trying to pull the girl back to him. Fear licked the back of my neck. The guy came close to Scott and punched him in the stomach, winding him. My hand went to my mouth as Scott doubled over and watched the guy walk away, leaving the girl stroking Scott’s back. Scott looked up then, looking for the guy and started after him with angry strides towards the exit, his fists curled tight at his sides.

In a hurry, I ran to find Newton. I spotted him after seconds and pegged it towards him, pushing sweaty bodies rudely out of my way.

“Newton!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as I neared him. “Scott’s in a fight outside, you gotta come. Now!”

Newton, Bone and Alan pushed past me and ran for the exit with me hot on their heels. I had a bad feeling, a sick weight in my stomach.

Outside there was only people hanging around but we heard grunts from the alley. We quickly ran and saw Scott on the ground curled into ball while three men laid into him. They were kicking him repeatedly while he was down. I wanted to throw up at the sight of him so helpless as they beat him.

“Scott!” I screamed in panic.

“Get the fuck off him!” Bone shouted as he went in for the biggest man and tore him away by his shirt whilst throwing a punch with his other hand.

A brawl started between the six guys but I was worrying more about Scott. I ran over to him and fell on my knees next to his still body.
 

News stories of people dying after being punched in the wrong spot on the head came back to me as I looked at his bloody form. “Oh no,
Scott!
” Tears flowed down my cheeks. He was curled up and I touched his head, blood was everywhere so I couldn't tell where he was hurt.
 

“Scott?”
 
I shook him, “Scott, oh God! Please wake up!” My heart stopped and then sprinted at an alarming rate. I couldn't breath and blood rushed in my ears. He wasn’t moving. I started to shake as I put my fingers to the side of his neck and felt his strong pulse. Relief was so sharp and swift that a wail escaped my lips. He was unconscious. I pulled my phone out and dialled 999 only to hang up and call 911 for an ambulance whilst the fight was still going on around me.

After hanging up I ran my fingers through his hair and cried. What if he didn’t wake up? What if he went into a coma? What if his brain had been damaged? What if I never saw him smile again? If I had to live without him looking at me as though I was his everything again I think I would crumble.

Chaos surrounded us as I lifted his head gently off the cold concrete onto my lap.

I sniffed. "Please be okay.”
 

A low groan escaped his lips, “Emma…”
 

I froze, unable to believe he had said my name. “It’s okay, don’t move. An ambulance is on the way.”
 

“No…” he tried to move.

I placed my palms on his chest, “Don’t move. Please just stay still until help comes, okay?”

He groaned, “Fuck, they got me good.” His voice was hoarse and sounded painful.

“It was three against one, you had no chance with those odds.”
 

He tried to laugh but ended up grabbing his ribs and gasping as pain seared through him.

My spirits were lifting the more he spoke. He didn’t seem to have brain damage and he could move. Sirens could be heard in the distance just as Newton and Bone fell on their knees next to us, Alan stood behind us.

“Dude, you look like shit!” Bone cringed.

“Thanks.” Scott mumbled to him but his eyes were on me.

The ambulance arrived and carted Scott off to the hospital. I wanted to go but Scott refused to let me lose any sleep because he had been injured in a fight that was his own fault. I went home but couldn’t sleep anyway. I kept thinking that it could have been worse than it was. It disturbed me deeply and whenever I closed my eyes things replayed in my mind over and over. In the end, I did fall to sleep but I kept flinching awake with the sensation of falling.

Chapter Twenty-seven

Scott got away with minor concussion, two broken ribs, a split lip, and a body full of bruises and scrapes. To put it mildly, he came home looking like shit.
 
A week later I knocked on his door after my classes.

Scott opened the door in a pair ripped jeans that sat low on his hips and nothing else. My gaze skimmed his body. His bruises were starting to fade and he looked a hell of a lot better than he did a week ago.
 

My eyes moved lower to his navel and the dark line of hair that disappeared elusively beneath his jeans. My heart started to race and my mouth went slack. Bloody hell, even busted and bruised he was sexy.
 

“Babe, are you coming in?ith I pulmouth w he rasped and then cleared his throat.

My eyes darted to his and my cheeks grew warm. “Uh, yeah, hi,” I forced a smile to my lips and took a slow breath to slow my heart rate.
 

His eyes darkened as his brows lowered and his head went to the side. My stomach fluttered and I swallowed loudly. “What?” I asked in a low voice that didn’t sound like me.

He shook his head and turned around walking into his apartment, “How was your day?”

I was relieved that he asked that instead of teasing me about ogling him. “It was good. How was yours?”

I knew what he was going to say before the words left his mouth, “Better now you’re here, Florence.” He turned then and bestowed me with a cute cheeky grin.
 

He was referring to Florence Nightingale and he had said that to me every day this week. I’d been here every day since he left the hospital. We spent most of the time watching movies and listening to music. Since he was to rest, I kept him company. He also had a chance to help me with my work that he had said he would help me to do ages ago in exchange for his piano lessons but he never seemed to get the chance to do it.

He passed me a hot cocoa, the way I loved it with marshmallows and cream which he had waiting for me.

I smiled my thanks, "How are you feeling?”
 

“Fuckin' bored,” he crossed his arms and frowned.

I laughed, “You look like a sulky little boy.” I took a sip and closed my eyes, "Mmm…yum."

“It’s not funny!” I could see his lips twitching. “But it will be tonight when I make you watch the scary movie I’ve got for us.”
 

I put my palm up, “No way, Scott, I already told you, I don’t do scary movies.”

“You are tonight, and it’s the new one about the girl that gets possessed.” He turned and headed into the kitchen.
Great! I’m going to make a total ass out of myself.
I hated scary movies. I didn’t really mind gore or zombies or vampires or other silly things but it was the paranormal ones that got me. They didn’t just get to me, they terrified me.