River's Escape (River's End Series, #2) (24 page)

His jaw slowly slackened. “Boy, you don’t dick around, do you? You know how much money you’re talking here?”

“I do.”

“You Rydells have that kind of cash just lying around?”

He shrugged. “Yes. If I want it. I have my own investments.”

Chuck eyed him. “How the fuck does a thirty-year-old farm boy have his own ‘investments’?”

“We all got a big settlement after my parents’ accident. When we turned twenty-one, each of us got our share of it, along with our shares of the ranch. I was a finance major in college. I invested most of mine and it went well for me.”

He whistled. “I had no idea you Rydells were that loaded.”

“Kailynn won’t take it from me. But she will from you.”

Chuck’s gaze skimmed over him. “You know, this will make her leave here. Most likely, she won’t come back. She’s wanted to leave ever since she was a young girl. Why would you provide her with the means to do so?”

“I already told you.”

“As simple and selfless as that?”

“Not selfless. I know the last thing she wants is to be married to a rancher and stuck here. Trapping her here is not my intention.”

Chuck cleared his throat. “That’s pretty decent of you.”

Ian grimaced. “Yeah, I’m a real saint. Now, will you help me?”

Chuck nodded. “I’ll help you. I’ll help her.”

“What you know about us stays between you and me. She’ll figure it out otherwise. And be convincing, or she’ll never go for it.” Ian felt the stab of regret slice through his heart as he stood up and added, “Thank you.”

“I should thank you, Ian, but knowing it gives her an escape from here, makes me kind of fucking hate you.”

Ian replied, “Yeah, well, me too, Chuck.”

Ian walked out of the trailer, his mind slowly devising a plan for how to suggest to Kailynn that she leave him.

****

Looking through her desk, Kailynn couldn’t find her college admission papers. She pulled everything out and spread it on the floor, growing more agitated when she began tearing apart her closet and dresser.
Nothing.
Where did she put the packet? She started to panic and finally flopped on the floor with all the contents of room spread around her.

“What are you doing?”

She didn’t even look up when her dad came to the doorway. “Nothing,” she replied, since they were really nothing to her. She just liked to look at them every once in awhile. It gave her a thrill to read the “We’d like to welcome you…” as well as the rush of joy she felt at fitting in someplace besides River’s End.

“Lynnie, why don’t you come out and sit down? I need to talk to you.”

She lifted her head and briefly studied her dad. He looked as unkempt and uncared for as always. His clothes were rarely unwrinkled, and he didn’t bathe as often as she would have liked. But her entire life he had physically been there for her. And though he’d been lazy and kind of uninvolved with the day to day goings on of her life, if worse ever came to worse: he’d be in her corner. She jumped onto her feet and followed him out.

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” she asked his back as he hobbled in front of her. He finally threw himself on the couch with a dramatic sigh.

“I’m the same as always. This is about you. Scoot it, Caleb, and shut the TV off. I need to talk to your sister.” He was frowning at Caleb, who was stretched over the couch while staring at the TV. Caleb didn’t even look up until Chuck finally leaned over and grabbed the remote and switched it off. Caleb glanced over, looking foggy with confusion as if he didn’t know where his father and sister had come from. “What for?”

She wondered the same question. Her father hadn’t shown any interest in talking to her since… well, she couldn’t remember anytime he did. What if he were sicker than she thought? But didn’t she always know when he went to the doctor? She did, since it was almost never. That was partly why his health and mobility were declining. But he refused to do almost anything about it except feel sorry for himself. And a discussion about his health would surely have included both of her brothers, not just Caleb.

“’Cause me and Lynnie need to have a discussion. Now leave.”

Caleb grumbled but got to his feet, scattering crumbs on the floor in front of him. He ambled down the hall and slammed his bedroom door shut behind him.

Her dad and she turned back to each other. Chuck said, “I have a feeling you were in your room, looking for that college stuff, right?”

“Yes. Wait. How did you even know about that?” She eyed up her father, suddenly sure something was really off.

“’Cause I heard Ian talking about it. Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to go there?”

“
Ian
? You heard Ian talking about me?”
On what planet would Ian have ever told anyone about it?

Her dad stiffened and realized she was reacting to that part of the conversation, and nothing else.

“Okay, I didn’t overhear him. He came to me, Lynnie. I’m not supposed to mention his involvement, but you know me too well. I don’t micromanage my kids. If you didn’t tell me, I wouldn’t know.”

No. No one could ever accuse either of her parents of remotely trying to manage her or her brothers in any fashion. But why would Ian go to her father? That made no sense. It was not something he would do. And if he did, why? What would he have to say to her dad? And what did her dad know? “Yes, but why?”

“He’s the man you want, huh?”

She stared at the paisley pattern in the old chair she sat in and threaded her finger along its odd shapes. “What is all this about?”

“Your boyfriend thinks you ought to go to school now that you’ve been accepted. Why wouldn’t you tell me you got accepted to a place like that? Didn’t you know how proud I’d be of you? And don’t you think you should tell me who your boyfriend is?”

She cleared her throat and continued tracing the pattern. “I didn’t know you’d be interested in either, I guess.” Her voice was calm and smooth, but inside, she was fuming at Ian. Why would he speak to her dad so secretly? Why would he tell her dad about them?

“Of course, I’m interested. You don’t think I’d be proud of you? I am. You’ve always been a hard worker. Is that boy good to you?”

She smiled. Ian was thirty years old, not really a boy. She finally nodded. “Yes, he’s very nice to me.”

Her dad grunted. “Well, we will see. He’s a little odd for my taste. But he made some good points. You deserve this. I guess me and your brothers have imposed on you for far too long. We can hardly manage without you, but that really isn’t fair to you.”

“Who else is going to do it, Dad?” she shrugged. Years ago, she stoically accepted her role in the household.

“Jordan and Caleb can start helping. Maybe, I can start doing some things. But I have some money, Lynnie. Enough for you to at least try this college thing. See how you like it. What do you say?”

Her head whipped up to study her dad’s mottled, red face.
Money? What money?
There was no money. There never had been. Hence, the two jobs she worked. The money she provided was a large chunk of what they lived on. “What exactly are you talking about?” She didn’t even feel a twinge of interest in what her dad was saying. She knew there was no money. And that was just the reality of it. Why fight it?

“I have some tucked away. A rainy day fund. But let’s dip into hit. Let’s help you live your dream.”

“Dad, that’s a ridiculous expense. We’re not talking about hundreds it’s thousands of dollars.”

“I know what college costs, Lynnie. I’m not that clueless. I want to do this. I want you to have it. I think in the end, it will benefit me anyways. You’ll always take care of me if I need it, right? I mean I know which one of my kids I can count on.”

“Yes, I will always make sure you’re okay. That is why this is such a ridiculous expense, I can’t go. You need me too much.”

“Ian said he’d help out.”

She felt a warm feeling spreading through her limbs. She could well imagine Ian doing that for her. That he arranged it already had her heart blipping in a weird manner. Was she touched by him going behind her back? Or disturbed? She wasn’t sure. Not about any of it. It sounded ridiculous and too good to be true. “Why wouldn’t Ian come to me with this?”

“I told him I wanted to talk to you.”

“Since when? I’m sorry, Dad, but since when do you want to discuss what I’m doing?”

He frowned and rubbed the hair of his long, scraggly beard. “Well, that’s a little harsh. Am I that bad?”

“You’re that bad about talking.”

“I know. Your mom always wanted that kind of stuff from me. It’s just not how I was wired. But I’d like to do this for you.”

“So… where is my acceptance packet?”

“Ian took it. He already accepted for you.”

She shot to her feet and started for the front door, only pausing to grab her parka. It snowed the other night, leaving a thin white layer that was now crusted over the ground. “Hey. Where are you going?” Chuck yelled at her.

“To talk to Ian.” She slammed the metal door before her father could call her back. She finally figured out some things about Ian Rydell, and he would hear about them for once. He would know just exactly what she thought. Shy, unsure, virginal Kailynn had finally grown up and joined the real world.

Ian might not like the woman Kailynn decided she could finally be with him.

IAN WAS STANDING IN the barn with his hands on his hips, and a tool belt slung low over his waist. He stepped forwards and leaned on one knee as he started yanking one of the horse stall boards. He ripped it out, and started on the next. Kailynn stopped behind him. She stomped in there with a pronounced purpose in each step. Ian glanced at her, and finished yanking the board before he stood up and threw it off to the side.

He nodded his head to the left, indicating Jack was there, working in his office. Ian’s message was clear. Conscious of a possible audience, Kailynn said in a low tone, “You spoke to my father.”

His expression went from amiable, and kind of curious at seeing her, to shutting his eyes and resuming the blank expression. “Yes.” At least, he didn’t try to lie about it. He glanced down and worked the buckle of the tool belt off. With care, he set it on the barn floor, straightening his long frame before taking her hand and leading her through a narrow hallway and out the back door of the barn. He crossed the dirty lot and went into Shane’s shop, clicking the lights on in the cavernous structure. It was cold in there, and reeked of industrial fumes; oil, gas, and metal, unlike the horse manure, hay, and organic smells of the barns.

“He’s in town today.” Three months ago, she’d have been questioning where Shane was, what he was doing, and when he’d be back. Now, however, she simply kept her glare firmly fixed on Ian.

She started to open her mouth, trying to be the Kailynn she used to be with Ian before that day at the lake. She intended to be her bitchiest self. But as soon as he stepped forward, and backed her into the shop’s metal wall, he buried his hands into her hair and his mouth descended on hers. Tilting her head, his mouth was hard and unyielding. His message was clear: this was his kiss. She always felt like nearly weeping the minute he touched her. He lifted his face from hers, but cradled her face in his hands and looked right into her eyes. “You need to go.”

She blinked several times to adjust her eyes to the gloom and florescent lights. Without the big garage door opened, the shop was dusty and seemed isolated from the world. She fully intended to storm in there while yelling at Ian, and telling him exactly what she thought. He managed to get the upper hand, however, and without any attempt on her part of doing as she intended. He knew how to control everything, especially her. But instead of arguing, his tone was soft and kind. His statement silenced any protest or argument she might have considered previously.

She pushed his body off hers and ripped his hands out of her hair, shaking her head repeatedly. “I finally get it. What you do. You control everything and everybody. It isn’t Jack. It never was Jack. It’s always been you. You are so secretive with everything, right down to the smallest, dumbest detail that no one ever knows what you do. So when you do finally tell anyone your opinion, those around you are so grateful for your interest, and trust your judgment so much, we all scramble over ourselves, trying to do what you want. But not one of us even knows what happened. Everyone thinks it’s Jack who runs this place. Bullshit. It’s you. You gently, slowly, and easily give Jack little tidbits of advice that get things running the way
you
want. And it’s done so smoothly, he thinks he thought of it.
You’re
the one who set it up so I worked here, aren’t you?”

His bright eyes watched her pacing before him. She only stopped to snarl the last statement at him. He finally nodded, confirming what she already knew.

“How did you do it? By somehow showing Jack he was failing his children by not having a woman around? And look. There is little Lynnie Hayes, all poor and needy, why not hire her?”

She stared him down, waiting for him to validate it. “Well?” she snapped finally.

“Yes. It was my suggestion, but it wasn’t all that diabolical. And it did work out for everyone.”

“And those plans you have for the ranch? You could have laid them out at any point in the last few years. Anytime. Especially after Erin arrived. But no. You waited until
you
were ready. Until
you
were done with the status quo of the ranch.”

“I waited until there was a need for it. Until now, there really hasn’t been. I know Erin well enough, but only this fall did I think she’d be open to the suggestion of moving forward with Jack.”

“But it’s all on
your
timeline. You said you secretly wanted me for three years. Why did you wait so long? Why did you wait three years? I waited five years for Shane because I was too shy and unsure of myself to tell him what I thought I felt. But you? You don’t have one shy thought or feeling. We all mistook your quiet demeanor as being shy. No, you know exactly what you want, and you decide exactly when you get it. You always get it too, I’ll bet.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “You were with one loser after another for the last three years. There were eight, in case you never counted. Eight smug assholes I had to watch groping you while I figured out how to make you see I was the better choice, not my brother.” He shook his head and added quietly, “And I never thought I’d get you.”

“I don’t believe you. I think you always get what you want. You have to control it all, don’t you? When and how and what happens? You control all that. I wanted to get out of here since I graduated high school, and suddenly now, my father crazily has the money for me to do so? He magically can afford to send me off to school? I’m not stupid, Ian. I know where
his money
is coming from.”

She shook her head and tears filled her eyes, some trickling over her lids. She slapped at them, annoyed.

He started to step towards her. “It was not my intention to make you cry. Why can’t it just be a gift?”

“Because it’s wrong. It’s weird. Boyfriends don’t buy their girlfriends a college education. It’s—”

“What I want to do. It’s my money. I can afford to buy it.” He scowled and acted mad that he had to explain it to her. She shook her head.

“It gives you complete control over me. Just like you have over everything else. What is it, Ian? Your parents died so unexpectedly, so this is how you cope? Controlling everything in the world around you and subjecting everyone to your manipulation? Is that how you protect yourself?”

His jaw tightened and his eyes flashed. He did not like to talk about his dead parents. It was one of several topics he frequently shut down whenever she brought it up. She was shocked when he said simply, “Yes.”

That stopped her tirade dead.
Did he just admit to it?
She kept her gaze glued on him. He finally turned from her and leaned on the fender of one of Shane’s cars. “I like to know what’s coming. I’m good at making things happen. So I do it. I have a lot of patience. But it’s never been paired with the connotation you’re giving it.”

He took in a breath and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and staring at the shop’s floor. He didn’t look at her. “I was out in the south pasture, riding a four-wheeler. I came back to the house when I got hungry, wanting dinner. Usually, my mom called us in long before seven o’clock. I found Jack and Lily in there, and Lily was crying. No. She was hysterical. Jack was holding her and rubbing her back and he had tears streaming down his face too. I’d never seen Jack cry before. He was like a superhero to me. Being seven years older than me, he and my dad were the role models I always wanted to be like. They looked alike, they moved alike, they led this place alike. Jack was Dad’s favorite. The only other time I saw Jack cry was when Lily died. Not once, though, while she was sick. I found him crying over her cold, dead body the night she died. I don’t know how long he’d been out there with her. I had to pry him off her corpse. I never told anyone that. He wouldn’t let her go. He and I never discussed it either. So you see, when Erin showed up, and finally realized how Jack felt about her, I did what I could to make them find each other. I still do that. I never intended to hurt anyone.”

Kailynn felt like the car lift behind her had just dumped a Cadillac on her chest. She realized she was holding her breath and immediately released it. She’d never heard Ian talk like that. Never ever. Not for so long, and not so candidly. She stepped forward, but he didn’t look up. He didn’t move a muscle. She’d never seen Ian so vulnerable. Not even when she was raging about them having sex the first time. He’d been unsure around her before, but not like this. Her heart clenched as she pictured a young Ian, running in for dinner after flying over the fields of their farm. She imagined him smiling and happy, probably thinking about how much dessert he could eat.

Leaning down, she took one of his hands in hers, but he didn’t lift his gaze. She stayed kneeling next to him. “Yes, but, Ian, how did
you
react?”

She saw him peeking at her from the corners of his eyes before his hand tightened on hers. “Jack saw me. He told me to come in and sit down. I don’t remember where Shane and Joey were. I don’t know when they found out, or how they reacted. They were so much younger. But Jack leaned down next to me while Lily tried to quit crying, but she couldn’t. She hiccupped and wiped her face, and finally went to the couch and cried harder. I remember being so scared. I knew it would be bad. I just couldn’t begin to understand how bad it would be. Jack told me straight up. Mom and Dad’s car had been hit head-on by a semi truck. It happened at that corner in front of Angela’s Manor. You know, the little bed and breakfast? There isn’t that much of a corner there. It certainly isn’t a place where anyone should have died. I’ve stopped there so many times since then, trying to figure out how Dad could have hit that semi. How could he not have seen it coming? There was plenty of room on the shoulder right there.”

Her heart twisted as she thought of Ian, alone and unspeaking, sitting in his truck and staring at the small, gentle curve of road that so cruelly ended his parents’ lives. Along with his childhood. Kailynn was sure that not another soul knew that.

“It’s stupid, to be mad at him for not driving better. But I was. I got so mad. I was so confused. And I missed them so much. Lily couldn’t pull herself together after it happened for several months. I’m sure Jack forgot that part. As was his right, after she got so sick. But she wanted nothing to do with us boys, at first. She had Ben to take care of, and Jack was unceremoniously thrust into running this place without any warning. It was a confusing time around here. You know, both sets of my grandparents died before my parents were killed. A few distant uncles are still living in Oregon, but none of them were close to Dad, and Mom was an only child. There was no one left. No adult to take over, that is. Jack and Lily were overgrown teenagers really, just trying to keep their own new family going. They fought a lot then.”

She had no idea about any of this. Jack always spoke about Lily with a pronounced reverence. Until Erin showed up, she was sure Jack would never have dated anyone again. She thought he buried his heart forever with Lily.

“Does Erin know that?”

“I don’t think they talk much about Lily. In her defense, why would she want a barely developing teenager to play mother to? I wasn’t her brother. It was way too much to ask of anyone.”

“You didn’t feel welcome here. You weren’t welcome in your own home.” His stunning revelation revealed more about him than any other tidbit he could have given her.

“I guess I didn’t. No, that’s not true. I knew Jack wanted me here. He goes too far sometimes, trying to keep us here together, almost in a time warp. He forgets if Mom and Dad had lived, all of us would have grown up and moved out, and most likely away from here. Nothing would have remained like it is now in a time warp. All that stuff you were saying is probably true. I guess I’ve tried to make sure I never again feel helpless, or pose a burden to anyone. It’s my house, my rules now.”

“Except no one realized that, did they?”

“No. Not really.”

“You even thought you could decide what I should do, and make sure it happens.”

“I was only trying.”

Her cathartic fit of anger instantly fled about two sentences into Ian’s conversation. He still didn’t look at her, so she scooted forward, under his arms until she was between his legs. He lifted his head, surprised she planted herself there. “I looked at your college transcripts. You’re like freaky smart, aren’t you? You graduated with a four-point-oh.”

“You looked through my stuff?”

“Perks of being your housekeeper. Yes. I did. After I learned you had a finance degree, I got curious. And it’s not like you always tell me, now do you? But a four-point-oh?”

He shrugged his shoulders, as if his accomplishment were no more than getting to the dentist on time. She scooted forward and rose up on her knees, putting her arms around his waist. “Did anyone even see you graduate?”

“It wasn’t that important.” She pictured him on the most significant day of most grads. No one was there to congratulate him. No one, probably, even knew he got straight As, and was in the honor program for business finance with a
dual major
in marketing. He did not minor in marketing, like he modestly told her.

“It was important, Ian. It was important you were still here after your parents died, and what you’ve accomplished is important. And all those new plans you came up with, they naturally come to you, don’t they? It’s easy for you. No big deal.”