Rival Dreams (Rival Love #3) (11 page)

“I don’t fucking know! You have your dreams and I have mine. I just woke from the daydream we’ve been both swimming in before it was too late, Sky! For that, I’m sorry.”

She smirks. “No you aren’t. But good luck.” She turns for the door and I grab her wrist and pull her to my chest.

“Let me go,” she whispers.

“Skylar, no matter what happens, I love you. I really do. And I truly am sorry for hurting you.”

She pushes me away and shakes her head. “Don’t say that to me. It doesn’t make the pain easier, Caleb. It makes it worse. Stop telling me you love me. Stop saying you’re sorry.”

“But I am.”

She grabs the door and this time I let her leave.

Chapter 17

Skylar

Inside the library, I stare at the pages before me. I have probably read the same shit about thirty times and still have no clue what the hell I am reading. I double-check the spine of the book and shake my head. Right, I’m supposed to be studying for my anatomy exam.

I glance over at the clock on the far wall. I start to gather up my things when I see Caleb waltz into the building. The redhead I saw him with yesterday is giggling and clinging to his arm. I hate her. I know it’s super petty, because I don’t know her. But last week, he was mine. Last week, I saw and planned a whole future and Caleb was in it every step. Now, my future is still there, it’s just a whole lot emptier.

Maybe it’s better he is leaving. I won’t have to see shit like this and feel so much pain, and anger, and want, for someone I clearly can’t have anymore. I shove my last book into my backpack and turn away from my table and run straight into a brick wall.

Okay, not a brick wall because it’s chuckling. I look up and a pair of deep blue eyes bore into me. “Hey, Sky. Come here a lot?”

“Hey, uh …” Okay, this is really bad. I know him from Caleb’s team but I don’t remember his name. Like, at all. And it’s not because he’s not kind of hot. I really just don’t have a clue.

“Matt.”

I nod and let out a fake laugh. “Right. I’m sorry.” I can feel my cheeks burning.

He winks at me. “Studying too much, it does that. You know, forgetting interesting available guys and all.”

Um. What? If he asks me out, I might scream. Not that he’s someone I wouldn’t go out with, but I just got out of a serious, two-year relationship. I’m not ready to hang out with anyone who’s male, let alone date, and definitely not someone Caleb is friends with. He’s probably one of the assholes who told Caleb to break up with me.

“Um … yeah. So, I’m running late for something. It was nice seeing you,” I say.

He follows me. “Hey, wait up. I wanted to ask you something.”

“Can you walk and talk?” I ask, heading down the stairs.

He laughs. “Yeah. Running back, and all.”

“Right.” I try not to roll my eyes. I’m almost to the doors when I hear Caleb groan.

I glance over and see he’s looking dead at me now. Matt is beside me and pulling me toward the door. “I thought you were late for something.”

I shake my head and look up at Matt. “What?”

“Late for something. Hence why we’re walking in a hurry out the door.”

“Oh. Right.”

“What the fuck is going on here?” Caleb bellows. Why is he here?

Matt laughs. “Chill, man. We’re just talking. And your company is looking a little pissy right now. You might wanna take care of that.”

I watch Caleb look back at the girl then over at us. “She followed me in here. It’s not really my problem. So what are you two talking about?”

“I was leaving.”

Caleb glares at Matt. “Are you leaving together?”

I’m pissed at his question. I didn’t ask him about his little redheaded friend over there, who’s looking really mad. So much so she’s actually marching over to us. And he seems to keep forgetting he broke up with me. But just like yesterday when I dropped off all the reminders of him at his own place, he’s got that look in his eyes. Like he can’t believe I would do something like this. As if I took a knife and gutted him, when he’s the one who did that to me. So where does he get off looking hurt?

“Caleb, man, we’re just talking. You need to relax.”

“Get your fucking hands off her, Matt.”

The redheaded girl comes over and asks, “What’s going on here? Oh, hey Matt.”

“Hi.” Matt looks over at me. “You’re late, aren’t you?”

I nod. “Yes. Very.”

“Late for what? Are you guys going out on a date?”

Matt laughs and I snap, “Yes. We are and we’re late. Good night, Caleb!”

I pull Matt outside with me and take in a lot of deep breaths. “That stupid arrogant jerk-face!”

Matt is still chuckling. “Oh, wow. I think you just got me on Morgan’s shit list. Thanks. If he hits me on Saturday, you’d better be bandaging me up.”

I stop walking and turn. “What?”

“Saturday, there’s a party for Caleb. I get it if you don’t show. But I need your help with something. It’s just … don’t take this the wrong way but, you know him better than all of us. What would be his ultimate going away party?”

“I don’t know, strippers, football, alcohol, his friends.” Yes, I am still fuming. At the same time I feel childish and want him to have that moment to remember. I mean, his team is trying to do something awesome for him so I really shouldn’t ruin it with my own pathetic problems.

Matt starts to turn away and I latch on to his arm. “Wait.” Ugh, I hate you, conscience. “Caleb’s favorite beer is Coors Light. He loves Crown and coke, too. If you were looking for alcohol choices. He loves egg rolls. Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and sauce is another favorite. He would probably want to see a few of his friends, Derrick and Lance. I can call and invite them.”

Matt smiles. “Thanks. Really.”

“You’re welcome.” I start to head to my car. Matt is following.

“I’m sorry, you know. That you guys didn’t work out. I think you’re a cool girl.”

I shrug. “I guess it’s for the best.” And isn’t it?

Chapter 18

Caleb

Watching Matt walk out of the library with Skylar pissed me off. For months that son of a bitch has been giving me nothing but shit about dating her for so long. And look at him, with his paws all over her. I swear if I didn’t have to be in this stupid library right now, I’d go kick his ass.

The balls on him, though. Giving me the “You should chill” look. That’s my girl he was all over. Alright, I know she’s not mine anymore because I gave her up, but there is still a bro code. You don’t try to hook up with another’s ex, it’s not allowed under any circumstances. Okay, there is one, if you’re dead and you trusted the dumbass to take care of her for you. But I’m still kicking, therefore this was not cool.

If he knows what’s good for him he will not try hooking up with her. In any case, I should warn Sky. The guy’s a dick. Wait, is it wrong to tell her this? Yeah, okay, I know it is. But here’s the thing: Matt hooks up with anyone. Doesn’t care. Sky needs someone who gives a shit about her wellbeing.

Derrick’s words come flooding back and I feel like a real big pile of shit. She’s trying to heal and here I am thinking about kicking some guy’s ass. Someone who might make her happy. Someone she might be able to have a life with who won’t break her heart. I shouldn’t get in the way. In fact, I won’t.

Exhaling a deep breath slowly, I take a seat at one of the tables. Aiden, my backup quarterback, parks his ass in the chair across from me. He stares at me and mumbles, “The library, man?”

Okay, maybe I picked this place hoping to see Sky. I know. I’m really messed up and stupid. But is it wrong to look out for her while I’m still here?

I shake my head. “A lot of hot, smart girls come here. You’d know that if you’d just look around and quit complaining.”

He grumbles something I can’t understand but looks about the room. His long blond hair reminds me of some beach-bum surfer. He narrows his green eyes at me and I can’t help but laugh. “Stop glaring at me, rookie. Or you can kiss my advice goodbye and I’ll tell coach to look at someone else.”

“What are you talking about, Morgan?”

“I’m leaving. Monday, I’ll be in Indy. If everything checks out, I’m into the draft. I can’t play pro and be here too, now can I? So, I’m giving you the keys to the kingdom.” I pass over two big playbooks. One Skylar helped me make, the other is the coaches’. I have copies of each. Aiden stares at them for a minute. “Aiden, work on them. Trust your gut. Trust your team. Keep an eye on your enemies. And never second-guess your decisions. That’s my only advice.”

Aiden looks up at me as I stand. “You’re really going?”

“Yeah, man.”

“Good luck. And thanks, Morgan. You’re alright.”

I nod and walk out of the library.

I return to my dorm and find Kyle lounging about in his boxers, playing a video game. He adjusts himself right as I’m walking to my bed to collapse. Then his hand regrips the controller. I groan. “Dude! You just rubbed your ball sweat on my controller.”

Kyle huffs, “Quit acting like a chick, man. I repositioned my boys. I’m not about to germX my damn hands every time.”

I’m completely disgusted. How would he like it if I teabagged his pillow or all his dishes? That’s essentially what he’s doing, smearing his sweat all over my things, dirty prick.

He doesn’t look up from the screen but says, “Yo, man. Twat wad Matt stopped by. I fucking hate that douche. Anyways he said he wanted you to come by later. Oh, and I guess tomorrow is a kegger with your name on it or whatever.”

“Sky wasn’t with him, was she?”

“Nah, man.” He hits pause and looks back at me. “I thought you broke up with her?”

I nod. “I did.”

“Then why are you wanting to know if … Oh, hell no. Did you convince her to be a booty call on the side, you sly mother—”

“Kyle,” I growl, “shut the fuck up!”

He sinks a little in his chair and I sigh. “I just saw Matt talking to her in the library and wanted to make sure he wasn’t trying to make a move on her. That’s all.”

Kyle shakes his head with a stupid smirk on his face and glances back at the TV. “Right? That, my friend, is called a regret. Once you feel jealous, you’ve made a mistake. The point of breaking it off with someone is you aren’t feeling that person anymore.”

“And? You’re such an expert in this how?”

“Look, man. I’m not trying to bust your balls.” But that’s exactly how this feels. He gets up and walks over to the fridge. “I’m just saying you wouldn’t feel crap if you made the right choice. Like a few months ago, I was dating that girl, Mindy. Remember her? Short. Blond. Had a lot up here.” He makes a motion to his chest and then says, “But not a lot up here.” He points to his head.

I nod, but honestly I don’t remember her. “Anyway,” he snatches a beer and walks back to his seat. “I broke up with her. A week later she was hanging around some other guy and I seriously didn’t give a shit. That’s how you know you made the right choice.” He points his unopened beer at me. “You, my friend, fucked up.”

I grip my head and wish he’d just shut up. Seriously. I know I lost the girl of a lifetime. Hearing about it isn’t helping.

Kyle starts up his game again and fills the room with the sound of flying bullets, shouted commands, and the tap-tap-tap of controller buttons. I get off my bed and decide it’s a good time to pack my away bag. I know the guys mean well, throwing me a kegger tomorrow, but I really don’t want to go.

By my closet on the floor is the box Sky brought over. I look through it. Every sticky note and message seems to be here, even the ones from high school when she and her mom first moved into my uncle’s house. I read some of notes.

Dinner was good. You rolled your eyes when I told you. So I wrote it down too.
I remember writing this. She cooked beef stew and it was the first time I ever ate her cooking. Was a little worried about her poisoning me.

If she calls I’m not here. Even if I am.
I was talking about Danielle when I wrote this.

I love you forever and always.
I wrote this the day before my first away game. I remember because it was the first time we slept in the same bed, in nothing but our underwear. She was still a virgin at the time and she said she wanted to practice. I might sound like a total wimp right now, but I loved that night. No sex and all.

I cast the sticky notes aside and pull out a notebook, which I instantly recognize as one of her songbooks. I skim the pages. Most of the songs in here I’ve already heard except two of them. The last one, which looks recent. And somewhere toward the beginning, page twelve or fifteen.

I flip to the last song and read the lyrics.

Is it true? You won’t stay. You’re ready to leave and that’s the end.

Go on, roam the world. This is how it’s going to be.

I’ve done it now. Made you scowl, ready for more? Here let me even the score.

No tears to shed. No reasons. No excuses. Fear is a danger but you know that, right?

There is so much left, but not enough.

I can’t say I won’t love you.

I can’t say I won’t cry.

I can’t say goodbye.

For you are mine. I am yours. Always and forever.

It was perfect until tonight, when you took my heart.

You selfish ass, look what you’ve done.

My nights are lonely. My days are long.

I miss us. Those happy kids. Where did we go? How did we get here?

I can’t say I won’t love you.

I can’t say I won’t cry.

I can’t say goodbye.

For you are mine. I am yours. Always and forever.

“What do you have there?” Kyle asks.

“It’s … it’s Sky’s stuff.”

He nods and says, “I’m going to the bathroom. I ordered a pizza, if it comes, can you just sign for me?”