Rewriting Destiny (Forsaken Sinners MC #1) (18 page)

He reaches into a gym bag I hadn’t even noticed he was carrying and pulls out a folder, handing it to me. I walk over to my desk and pull out the design. I gasp when I see what is inside. It’s the sketch I drew for him when he graduated high school. He kept it all these years and now wants me to tattoo it on his back.

I look over my shoulder and see him watching me. Not wanting to show the effect this has on me, I clear my throat and stand. “I shouldn’t need to alter much, unless you want to change anything before I copy this onto a stencil…” I trail off, waiting for him to tell me we are good to go.

“Nah, it’s perfect the way it is,” he says with a shy smile.

I walk over to the copy machine to make it into a stencil, and have him sit in the chair. I clean the area on his back, loving the feel of his skin beneath my fingertips. Working fast to get this part over with, I have the stencil placed and tell him to check it out in the mirror to make sure it’s where he wants it. He only takes a couple of seconds to confirm it looks good, giving me a slight nod before sitting back down on the chair.

“If you could lie down on your stomach, it will be easier for me to work and be more comfortable for you, since this will take a while.” I sit down in my roller chair, put on my gloves, and get the ink ready.

“Do you want any color in this or do you want to keep it the way it was drawn?” I ask, acting like he is any other customer and the tattoo I’m inking on him isn’t one that I drew years ago for my best friend.

“If you could just put color in the flag, that would be great,” he says while he gets comfortable on the table.

When I have everything ready to go, I roll over to him and notice he has his face turned toward me, but his eyes are closed. I take only a second to enjoy the view in front of me before I start up my gun. “All right, here we go,” I say and begin to ink the first line on the memorial for Zeke.

Chapter 19

I’m only about a fourth of the way through the tattoo when Zane starts talking. I’m actually surprised he didn’t start in sooner. I don’t comment on anything, only nod my head to acknowledge I am listening, or at least pretending to listen, when all I want to do is run away. I don’t want to hear about his life and all that I have missed out on. It kills me to know that he went through two deployments and I never knew about it.

Halfway through the tattoo, he starts asking me about my life and what I’ve been up to. I keep my answers short and to the point, never getting too personal. I tell him that I moved here and met Mack on my first day, rented the apartment above the shop, and started hanging out with Louie and Toby. I never mention the nightmares or how I went back and forth on whether I did the right thing by leaving without saying anything to him. I don’t tell him about working out with Toby or going to the shooting range. And I especially don’t tell him about anything that happened between Louie and me.

When I have about an hour left on his tattoo, he starts reminiscing about all the good times we had with Zeke, the parties we went to before he left for college, and all the things he missed about my grandmother. I have to take a small break after he brings her into the conversation, but I pass it off as going to the bathroom.

When I get back to work, he is quiet for only a couple of minutes before he starts telling me how happy he is he decided to come here and that it was fate that brought us back together. That has me laughing—I agree that destiny had a hand in him coming back into my life, but we see it differently: he thinks it’s the best thing in the world and I consider it a bitch, always trying to throw me for a loop.

“I’ve missed that,” he whispers, so quietly I almost don’t hear him.

I stop shading and look at him. “What do you miss?”

He looks at me for the longest time, and right before I can’t take it anymore, he looks away. “Your laugh. It’s the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I dream about it sometimes…”

What shocks me the most is how open he is about his feelings for me. This new Zane is something I have never seen. We were always close, and he never shied away from telling me how much he cared about me, but I know now that he wasn't always being completely honest. So the fact that he is being so honest about his feelings is different—he's different.

I get back to the tattoo, and he’s quiet for the rest of the time. It gives me a chance to really think about what has happened, the things he has told me, and where we go from here. I always thought that I would never be able to forgive him for leaving me at that party, but now that I know more of what he was dealing with…I don’t know. It has me rethinking a lot of things. Do I miss my best friend? More than anything. Do I still get butterflies when he’s around? Yes. Do I still love him? Maybe. And it’s that maybe that decides it for me. I need to at least give this a shot. I owe myself that much.

We need to get to know each other again before going further though. I know I’m not the same person I used to be, and he doesn’t seem to be either. We need to cover that ground first, then try to see what our feelings are. He says he loves me, but after he gets to know who I am now, he may not feel that way anymore. And that’s okay, because I don’t know how I’ll feel when it’s all said and done either. But I know I want him in my life. I've missed him.

I finish the tattoo, clean him up, and have him check it out in the mirror. It looks really good and makes me feel like even back then I had talent, which is something that I never really believed. And I have to admit, seeing him with my mark on him does something to me. I’ve never been the jealous or possessive type, but looking at him now, wearing my ink, gives me a high like I’ve never experienced before.

“Wow, Baby Girl, this is fucking amazing!” he says with a huge smile on his face.

I don’t correct him for calling me Baby Girl, because it doesn’t upset me as much as it did before. Plus, I need to get used to it if we are going to work on our friendship. “Happy to hear it. I’m actually really glad that you never got it done until now. It was neat being able to tattoo something that I designed for this purpose years before I got into this trade. And it’s one that is close to my heart, so thank you.” I give him a genuine smile, which seems to make him pause. I guess I haven’t really smiled around him since he’s gotten here.

I get started the clean-up. “So, um, do you want to go for a drink maybe?” I ask without turning around. If he says no I don’t want him to see the disappointment on my face. I’m not even sure why I'm asking, but it seems right. We could sit down and have a couple drinks and catch up more. I should probably tell him that I forgive him and that I’m ready to move on from all that happened in the past. But maybe it’s not the time to mention it—while having drinks that is. What if he takes it the wrong way? Will he think that I want to be with him? Shit, maybe I should tell him we should do lunch tomorrow instead. Yeah, lunch would keep it in the friend zone, right?

“You don’t have to ask me twice, Baby Girl. There’s a bar down the street that looks good. We could go there.”

Shit, now what do I do? I can’t really take it back now that he’s agreed. Fuck. Well, I guess I’ll have to go with it.

“Ah, yeah, the um, Double Down Saloon?” I’ve never been there before. I’ve actually heard bad things about it, but if that’s where he wants to go, I guess we can go for one drink. Maybe after that we can go back to the clubhouse, or better yet, I have a bottle of Jack at home. Wait, no, that’s a bad idea. That will definitely make him think we are more than friends. Fuck, why is this so hard?

“Yeah, that’s the one. You been there?”

I shake my head and motion him over so I can cover his tattoo. With the number of them he has already, I’m sure he knows the drill about aftercare.

He puts his shirt on and we walk out front.

“So, how much do I owe ya?” He pulls his wallet out and looks up at me, waiting.

“Nothin’. Mack said this one is taken care of.” It’s not a total lie, since Mack usually doesn’t make the brothers pay full price, but I don’t want to take his money for this one. It was something close to home for both of us and it seems wrong to charge for it. Plus, this is my shop now so I don’t need Mack’s approval.

“You sure? We don’t have to tell him I paid for it.”

I laugh and grab my things. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

He hesitates for only a moment before he puts his wallet away.

“I’m going to close things down quick, then run upstairs to change. I’ll meet you there in say, twenty minutes?” Even though I no longer live in the upstairs apartment, I still keep some things there in case I don’t want to drive home after a long day at work. It works out perfectly tonight, since I want to shower and change before having drinks with Zane. Not that it really matters since he’s already seen me today, but it’s one thing for him to come to my job, and another for me to willingly go out with him. I want to look good.

“I’ll wait outside for you.”

This is something we are going to have to discuss. I hate it when the guys treat me with kid gloves, like they need to watch over and protect me. I’m not as naive as I used to be, and since I’ve been working out with Toby, I think I can take care of myself. Shit, I’ve even managed to hand some of the brothers their ass a time or two. So yeah, I can handle walking down the street by myself.

“Zane, one thing you are going to have to get used to is that I’m not a little girl anymore. I am more than capable of taking care of myself. I’ll meet you there.” I don’t wait for his reply, instead, I push him out the door and lock up.

***

I’m a little late, but I think it was time well spent. I re-did my hair, curled it and put it into a tight ponytail. Then I applied some dark eye shadow and eye liner, finishing off with some mascara and my red lipstick. When I looked in my closet for something to wear, I realized I didn’t really have much to choose from. The best I could do was put on one my favorite pair of cut-off jean shorts that I left here a couple weeks ago and a white tank top. At least I have my leather jacket and black combat boots with me tonight. They will turn this casual outfit into something more than it is. I want to look sexy, but still me, and I don’t want it to seem like I’m trying to impress him, because I’m not. I want to show him who I am now.

Leaving the apartment, I go back through the shop, lock up again, and head to the Double Down Saloon.

The first thing I notice as I walk in the door is that I’m the only woman here. Not like that’s a first for me, but I don’t know the men here, and this crowd looks rough. I don’t mean biker rough; I mean rough in every sense of the word.

I look around for Zane and spot him in a booth, so I make my way toward him without stopping to get a drink first. I’ll wait to see what Zane is drinking and go from there. Plus, I don’t really want to deal with the men here. We may need to leave because they could cause trouble, and trouble is one thing I don’t need tonight while Zane and I try to pick up where we left off.

As I make it to the table, he moves his eyes from his phone, eyeing me up and down. Knowing I look good and that he noticed makes me smile, but when I see his hard expression, I’m instantly on guard.

“Where the fuck have you been, and where are your fucking clothes?”

Whoa buddy, what the fuck? “Ah, I took a shower and changed. Is that all right with you,
Daddy
?” I say with as much sarcasm I can muster. “And I’m not even going to validate your other question with an answer.”

He blows out a long breath and shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Baby Girl, I was just worried. I don’t have your number and couldn’t check to make sure you were okay. And you look too fucking sexy in those clothes to be legal, let alone in a bar with these fuckers looking at you.”

I can tell that it’s going to take him a while to see that I’m perfectly able to take care of myself and that he doesn’t need to worry about me. Or maybe it’s me who will have to get used to him being back in my life and caring. But he does have a valid point; having my number would probably calm him a little bit.

“Give me your phone,” I say, reaching my hand across the table. Without questioning me, he hands it over. Well, at least it doesn’t seem like he’s worried I would see anything incriminating on there, so that’s good.

I program my phone number under his contacts and then send a text message to myself so I can save his in mine, then hand it back to him. “There, now maybe you won’t get your panties in a bunch.”

That gets a smirk out of him and then we are back to an awkward silence. Great, this is not how I wanted tonight to go. Maybe we’re not meant to be friends anymore.

“You want something to drink?” he asks, breaking the silence.

I look up at him with a grin. “Abso-fucking-lutely. I thought you’d never ask.”

This time I get a full-on laugh out of him. “Well, I’m glad to see some things haven’t changed,” he says, as he gets up and walks over to the bar. He’s not completely right, but I’ll let him work out the details himself. He’ll find out soon enough how much I’ve changed.

I make myself seem busy by looking at my phone. I’m not really doing anything but staring at the text I sent myself from his phone, but people don’t need to know that. I don’t want anyone to come over and try talking to me.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take him long to return with our drinks. The one time I did glance up to see if I could spot Zane, I noticed more than one set of eyes checking me out, and not in a way I like.

I take a drink as he’s sitting down, and when the alcohol hits my taste buds, I have to smile. Jack is my favorite thing to drink, and I've missed sitting with him like this. We used to have some really good times, only him, me, and our good buddy Jack Daniels.

Twenty minutes later, his phone rings. “Yeah?” he barks into it, which makes me laugh because that’s how I answer too. His eyes meet mine and I can tell that hearing me laugh makes him happy. It makes me happy too, because I feel like it’s been forever since I’ve really laughed. Sure, I’ve chuckled and smiled, but nothing like I do with Zane.

“Yeah, she’s with me.” Knowing that he’s talking about me to whoever is on the phone makes me quiet down and pay attention. I don’t like not knowing who he’s talking to and why they are bringing me up.

“On our way,” he says, and hangs up. Without wasting a second, he tells me what’s going on. “That was Mack, he wants us at the clubhouse.”

I wonder what’s going on.
“Wait, he told me earlier that he was going out of town for a couple of days. Is he back already?” I ask when I remember my conversation with Mack this afternoon.

“I don’t know what’s going on or where he was going, but he’s at the clubhouse now and wants us both there.”

I nod as he starts sliding out of the booth. I do the same and follow him toward the door, but before we make it outside, someone grabs me by the elbow. I whip around to see who the fuck put their hands on me.

I look up into the cold, hard eyes of one of the guys who wouldn’t stop staring at me while Zane and I were drinking.