Relinquishing Liberty (34 page)

“Rebecca Jane Thompson,” I read aloud. I turned to Shayne, reaching for his free hand as I spoke to him softly. “You brought me here to meet your mother?”

“Not exactly who you were expecting, huh?” He said with his head down and shrugged one of his shoulders. He gently placed the colorful bouquet he was holding on the grass beside the other fresh flowers already neatly placed there; I can only assume they were from his father. “Happy birthday, Mom.”

Shayne crouched down, and I kneeled beside him. His hand tightened around mine as though he was searching for any source of strength to get through what he needed to say.

“Mom, I’d like you to meet the most beautiful, funny, kindhearted woman I have ever met…next to you of course.” I let a small laugh slip out, but caught myself as my hand flew over my mouth. I had a tendency of laughing at the most inappropriate moments, and I wasn’t sure if this was one of those instances.

Shayne smiled and peeled my hand away from my mouth before placing a kiss in the center of my palm. “It’s okay, Liberty. It was meant to be funny.”

I grinned sheepishly at him, and turned my attention back to the words engraved on the headstone. “It’s nice to meet you, Mrs. Thompson. I’m so sorry I never got to meet you in person, but from what Shayne has told me you were you were a very beautiful woman, inside and out.”

Shayne let out a soft laugh. “If she were here right now, I guarantee she would be hounding you to call her Becca and not Mrs. Thompson.”

“I guess she has that in common with your dad, huh?” I playfully leaned into his shoulder.

“Yeah, my grandparents on both sides of the family were older when they had them, and my parents never wanted to be viewed as the ‘old parents’,” he said while raising his hands and making air quotes. “So they always made my friends refer to them by their first names.”

“I don’t blame them. I’ll probably do the same thing with our kids’ friends.”

Shayne quickly turned and captured my lips before I could even process what was happening. Then realization washed over me as the words I had just spoken replayed through my mind. I had just referred to my future children as “ours” without even giving it a second thought. I smiled against his lips and felt him smile in return. He slowly pulled away and brought his hand up to brush his knuckles across my cheek.

“I’m sure you just made my mother’s birthday by saying that. She’s probably looking down on us and doing a little happy dance up in heaven now that she knows I’ll make her a grandma one day. The chance of that happening was kind of hit or miss with the way my life was heading before I met you.”

“Well I wasn’t planning on it coming out like that, but I did mean it, Shayne. I told you last night that I see things eventually becoming more permanent between us, and that includes having kids one day. I’m just glad you didn’t freak out when I said it. I was a little worried since our relationship is still so new, and we obviously haven’t discussed it yet.”

“Sweetheart, I would love nothing more than to see my child growing here inside you.” He placed his hand against my flat stomach, and I felt the butterflies inside me take flight. I don’t think Shayne even realizes the effect his beautiful words have on me. My heart was on the verge of exploding with all of the love I held inside for this wonderful man, the father of my future children. It was such an overwhelming feeling once I let it finally settle in.

My emotions changed course as tears began to cloud my vision at the thought of his mother never being able to hold her grandchildren. My heart ached for her, for the loved ones our children would never get the chance to know…and then my thoughts went somewhere I wasn’t expecting them to, and that was all it took for me to breakdown in Shayne’s arms.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He brushed away the stray hairs that had fallen from my ponytail and tenderly held my face in his hands. I shook my head. I didn’t want to ruin this time with his mother. He shouldn’t have to deal with my crazy emotions. “Talk to me, please. Tell me what’s going on in that pretty, little head of yours.”

“It’s j-just…” I took a deep breath trying to compose myself. “Being here reminds me of my brother, and how I never had the chance to say goodbye. I mean, I never even went to the cemetery the day of his funeral Me. His own sister. I should have been there, but instead, I was a coward and ran.”

“Liberty, you can’t blame yourself for that. Your brother had just taken his own life, and you were hurting. At least with my mother, we all saw it coming so we were somewhat emotionally prepared for it. But you…you weren’t given that chance. You were thrown into it without any warning, and that would fuck with anyone’s emotions. And I hate to say it, but your brother was the coward. He took the easy way out instead of dealing with whatever it was that he was going through.”

I knew he was right, but I still felt this heartrending guilt for not having the decency to ever visit his grave in the four years that he’d been gone. Shayne pulled me into his chest and let me have my release. He gently stroked his hand over my hair, while whispered soothing words into my ear.

“You know, you can still say goodbye. You don’t need to be there to tell him. But if you do ever make it back home, you should visit him. I think it might help give you some closure.”

I knew exactly what he meant. I was still angry with my brother and never really forgave him for what he had done. I’ve been through hell and back these last few years, and to say that I was still bearing a grudge was the understatement of the century. But would saying goodbye really be worth it after all these years? Would it really help to erase the pain or was I so far gone that I would have to carry this burden with me for the rest of my life? Considering I didn’t know for sure if I’d ever go back home, I might never find out whether there was any truth behind his words.

When I was finally all out of tears, Shayne pulled me up and said his goodbyes, pressing a kiss to his fingertips and placing it upon his mother’s headstone. This simple gesture caused my heart to swell, and I felt truly blessed to have this beautiful, selfless man, who bore his father’s eyes and his mother’s smile, in my life. I could only hope that one day our children would carry those very same features. I had to fight back the images before I began to tear up again and let my emotions get the best of me.

“Ready to head home, sweetheart?”

Home.
Funny how every time I heard that simple four-letter word my thoughts immediately drifted to Shayne. Home wasn’t necessarily where you were born and spent your youth growing up. Home wasn’t just a building with four walls, a roof and a white picket fence. Home was where you felt loved and cherished; where you felt like for the first time in your life you truly belonged. We could be anywhere in the world, and as long as I was with Shayne, I knew I was home.

We hopped into his Jeep and made our way back down the bumpy dirt road. He reached over the console and held my hand, slowly drawing circles across my delicate skin with his calloused thumb. I looked over at him, and he was staring straight ahead with the most complacent smile on his face. That smile of his always brought out those adorable dimples I had come to love so much. I knew in that moment that no one would ever make me feel the way that Shayne did. No one would ever love me as passionately and unabashedly as he did. No one could ever put up with my crazy emotional and irrational outbursts the way he did. It was him and only him who could fill my heart to capacity with the one feeling that had been missing in my life for so long…

For the first time I felt
whole
.

People always say time flies when you’re having fun. Well the last month flew by in the blink of an eye, but I remembered every second of it. Oh, yes…
Every. Second. Of. It
.

Things between Shayne and I couldn’t have been better. I was surprised how easily our lives meshed together while living under the same roof, and we quickly fell into a routine that brought us even closer together.

Mornings were my favorite. Feeling those strong, tattooed arms pulling me into his bare chest and turning back to see his gorgeous emerald eyes peering back at me was all it took to get the fire ignited inside me. I had gotten into the habit of sleeping in the nude, thanks to Shayne never letting me put any clothes back on after making love all night, but I had no complaints when he would slide right in to my already soaking wet heat to give me the most delectable wakeup call imaginable.

I still wasn’t happy that most days we worked opposite shifts; him in the morning and me at night, but we made it work, and I was happy just to be able to spend time with him every day, even if it was only in bed. For me, work had gotten better since Brett finally eased up on constantly reminding me what a “huge mistake” moving in with Shayne was, and we were getting along much better as a result of his change of heart.

Maddie and I continued with our biweekly pampering sessions. We even managed to drag Brett along once, calling it our “family bonding time”. He wasn’t thrilled with the idea at first, but once those girls got their hands on him, oh man, was he was in heaven. Maddie and I found it absolutely hilarious, to the point that we were rolling on the floor with tears streaming down our faces, but to be honest, I thought Brett walked out of that nail salon a changed man…and with a lovely mani and pedi I might add.

Memorial Day weekend crept up on us in no time, and I had spent the better part of last night and this morning slaving over multiple dishes for the beach-wide party that was taking place over the next few days. Of course, Shayne was a master of finding ways to distract me. I was lucky I got both the potato salad and pasta salad done the night before because at the moment, Shayne had me pinned up against the bathroom door after I had just finished showering. I was disappointed to find him halfway through shaving away his dark stubble when I stepped out and wrapped a fluffy white towel around myself. I loved the way it felt when the roughness of his cheek would brush against my thighs, sending a jolt of arousal throughout my body…

As a punishment for pouting, he ripped the towel away my body, wound it up and snapped it with an echoing crack against my now bare ass. When I tried to grab the towel back, he tossed it across the granite-tiled floor and swept me off me feet, causing me to release a startled squeal as he firmly pressed his hips into me.

“Shayne!” I tried to wiggle free, but Shayne left me no room to move. As much as I wanted to fool around, I still had brownies baking in the oven and fruit salad to cut up.

“Look babe, you have two options here.” His tongue trailed along my neck, sucking and nipping at my sensitive flesh. “Either you can hold still, and let me enjoy this luscious body.” Then he bit down on my shoulder, and I let out a soft moan, throwing my head back with a loud thud against the door. “Or you can keep putting up a fight, and I’ll take you rough and hard. You know I will…or did you forget last night?”

I looked him square in the eye, biting down on my lip. My eyelids lowered to just thin slivers, and I pushed my hips against him forcefully, silently letting him know exactly how I liked it. A seductive grin spread across his face, and Shayne slowly slid the crown of his erection between my slick folds as though he were testing the waters before taking the plunge.

“Always so ready for me,” He whispered against my lips, and with that, he thrust into me,
hard
, and I couldn’t hold back the scream that lacerated through my throat.

“Ahhh, fuck! Shayne!” I leaned my head against his shoulder and dug my nails into his taut back. My gaze flickered over to the mirror behind him, and I watched him fill me completely over and over again. I was so turned on by his wild aggressiveness that I almost didn’t notice the tiny drops of blood trailing down his back in the reflection of the mirror.

“Oh shit, Shayne, you’re bleeding! I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize I was scratching you that hard!” I started to panic and loosened my grip.

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby. It doesn’t hurt. The only way you could ever possibly hurt me is if you left me, and there’s no way I’m ever letting that fucking happen.”