Redemption Song (5 page)

“I’m Alaina, Ben’s sister.”

“I’m Ethan.”

An awkward silence. Her eyes never veered—as if she expected something more from him.

For the first time in his life, Ethan didn’t know what to say. Who was this girl? Why wasn’t she acting like a psychopathic obsessed fan? Ethan couldn’t even go to a gas station for a pack of gum without having to give hugs and sign autographs. This girl acted as though he was just another person, like every other person in the world—like she couldn’t care less that she was sitting alone in a room with
Ethan Carter
.

Ethan had to admit—it was throwing him a little off guard. He was out of practice in the acting-like-a-normal-person department.

“What are you doing in here?” His question came out quickly and more harshly than he’d intended.

Great. That came out all wrong
. His tone was more accusatory than inquisitive. It sounded like he expected her to have some reasonable motive for being in her own kitchen. Like he even knew her . . . like he even had a right to know why she was sitting in a kitchen . . . in the dark . . . staring at milk . . .

Chill out Ethan. It’s just a girl like any other girl. You’re freaking out
.

Ethan gave his head a slight shake to clear it. “I just mean . . . it’s really late to . . . be in a kitchen . . .”

She finally veered her eyes away from his—Ethan let out an involuntary sigh of relief—as she reached for her glass of milk. She took a slow sip and smiled. “I could say the same for you.”

Her teeth were really white.

“Uh . . . yeah. I kind of forgot to eat yesterday. I woke up hungry.”

“You forgot to eat?”

“I think so.”

She looked amused, but there was something else. Pity?

Ethan shrugged. “I was just busy, you know?”

Ethan wondered how much Alaina really did know. He couldn’t imagine she knew about his recent confinement for drunk driving or surely she wouldn’t be this civil towards him. Not after what had happened to her parents . . .

Alaina rose from her stool and strolled to the refrigerator in her little pink slippers. “I can’t say that I’ve ever been too busy to remember to eat, but I guess we live very different lives.” She opened the refrigerator door and bent over to view its contents. “Let’s see here. How about leftover lasagna?”

“Sounds great,” Ethan said.

Alaina removed the frosted Tupperware dish from the fridge and stuck it in the microwave. She took a step toward the stove and rose to the very tip of her toes to reach a plate in the cabinet above. She was so tiny. She grabbed a fork from the drawer and turned back to the island and paused.

“Are you . . . going to come in . . . or do you want me to bring it over there?”

“Oh, right.” Despite his awareness, Ethan had not budged from the doorway since he’d realized there was another inhabitant in the kitchen aside himself. “I guess I’ll come in.”

Ethan pulled out the stool next to the one Alaina had sat in. A few minutes of silence passed. Not awkward silence. Just silence; eventually broken by the loud ding of the microwave.

Alaina removed the Tupperware dish and spooned the lasagna onto a plate. She placed the fork carefully on the edge of the plate and slid it across the island to Ethan.

“Wow, thanks,” he said.

Alaina grinned. “Thank me after you’ve tasted it.”

Ethan wasn’t sure what that meant but he was too hungry to care. He took a heaping bite, letting a little fall from his mouth because it was still piping hot, but delicious.

Alaina watched his every move. She made him very aware of his actions. Why had he let food fall from his mouth? That was stupid, right? He looked like he didn’t even know how to feed himself. He should say something.

“This is really good. I had forgotten how much I missed Granny Mae’s cooking.”

Alaina smiled proudly. “Actually, I made that. Granny Mae hasn’t done much cooking lately. She stays tired a lot.”

“Well, I’m impressed. I don’t think I know one girl that can cook her own food. They all have their maids do it for them.”

“Really? Maids? Wow, that must be nice.”

He’d done it again. Why did everything he said seem to come out wrong? He quickly tried to correct himself.

“Not that they all have maids . . . well some of them do . . . but I just meant that I think it’s really cool that you know how to cook.”

“Thanks, Ethan.”

Ethan. Other than his parents, hardly anyone ever called him by his first name. From his agent, it was kid or superstar. From his fans, it was Ethan Carter. Never just his first name, but both the first and the last—like together they formed one word.

Alaina continued. “Cooking is something I used to do with my mom. She taught me everything I know.”

“I bet she was great.”

Alaina glanced up quickly. “Was? I guess it’s safe to assume that Granny Mae told you about Ben and me.”

“She mentioned a little.”

“I don’t blame her. She probably wanted to prep you in case Ben decided to unload the whole story out of nowhere. It would be a lot to handle if you hadn’t been forewarned.”

Ethan didn’t know what to say. He had never dealt with death before. His grandparents on his mom’s side were deceased, but he had been too young to remember their passing. It was one of those awkward subjects that made him uncomfortable to talk about.

“Well, anyway,” Alaina said, changing the subject as quickly as it had begun, “I think it’s really nice that you took a break from your work to come visit your grandmother. She’s so proud of you. She talks about you all the time. Well, to us at least. She keeps quiet about you in town. Said she wants you to be able to visit anytime you want without having to put up with obsessive fans.”

Ethan suddenly felt very full. The lasagna stuck like a huge lump in his throat. “She told you I took a break so that I could visit her?” he said.

“Yep.”

Ethan couldn’t bring himself to tell Alaina the real reason for his sudden arrival in Alabama. Taking time out of his busy schedule to put his family above his career definitely sounded like a better story than what had really happened.

“She said you were on a tour or . . . something about a new CD . . .” Alaina said passively, rising from the island to wash her empty glass out in the sink.

A tour or something
? It wasn’t just a tour or something. It was the biggest and best thing that had ever happened in Ethan’s life.

Ethan swallowed down another bite of the lasagna as he studied Alaina’s expressions. He had trouble reading her. “I dropped a new album about a year ago and I’ve got another one coming out around six months from now. The tour is named Love Jam. We were in Birminham just a couple of months ago. I can’t believe you didn’t hear about it . . .”

The more Ethan rambled on about his career, the more clueless Alaina’s expression became. He was starting to think that she had no idea what he was talking about. Who was this girl?! Most girls knew every detail about Ethan’s life from which city his tour was at on different nights all the way down to what his favorite color M&M was.

Ethan let out an awkward laugh. “You have no idea what I’m talking about do you?”

A faint red hue flushed in Alaina’s cheeks. Her eyes shifted downward with guilty embarrassment.

“Do you even know any of my songs?” Ethan pressed.

Alaina grazed her bottom lip with her teeth in nervous anticipation until finally, she said, “I’m sorry, but I really don’t know anything about your music. Your grandmother plays your CD in her bedroom all the time in the mornings, but I’ve never really listened to it. Don’t be offended, it’s nothing personal.”

Ethan laughed, literally, out loud. He couldn’t believe his luck. He had come expecting some love crazed fan that would never leave him alone—wanting to know every single stupid detail about his life in Hollywood—but instead he'd found someone who only saw him as Ethan. It was overwhelmingly refreshing and instantly brightened his mood.

“You really don’t listen to any of my music?”

“Not really.”

“Is it because you don’t like it?”

“Not exactly.”

“Oh, you like Country music, huh. Figures, you being from Alabama and all.”

Alaina laughed. “No, don’t really care for Country.”

“Well then, what do you listen to?” Ethan asked curiously. He knew for a fact that his songs were played on every alternative/rock station on the FM frequency. Other than Country, what was left?

She answered immediately—proudly. “Christian music, mostly: Toby Mac, Skillet, Newsboys, a little Flyleaf . . . it all just kind of depends on my mood.”

Christian music. So that was the difference. Alaina wasn’t like the other girls Ethan knew because she was a Christian. Ethan had never put a lot of value into the idea of a supreme power being the creator of all existence. The idea had always seemed so farfetched and, well, impossible. But Alaina seemed so confident in herself. She was alone in a tiny room, in the middle of the night, with one of the biggest teen idols of her day and she acted as if it was just another normal night like any other. Why was she not just a little excited to meet him? She didn’t seem to be a snob. Ethan didn’t think it was an issue of her thinking she was better than him or that he was unimportant. She just didn’t seem to . . . care.

Ethan let his eyes find Alaina’s and this time he held her gaze willingly. Her eyes were big and brown and sparkled with the slight glow of the moon entering in through the kitchen window. This time he didn’t allow himself to become squeamish in the intensity of her gaze. He held it and studied her expression, suddenly feeling an unexplainable urge to try to figure her out.

“Alaina.”

She lifted her gaze with inquisition. Her eyes were huge with naturally curled lashes framing them, and they were the deepest brown he’d ever seen.

“Can I call you Ali?” The more Ethan thought about her name the more it sounded too formal to him.

A slightly pained, reminiscent look flashed in her eyes. “That’s what my dad used to call me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

Way to go, Ethan—you idiot. Of all names to call her; you pick the one that her recently dead father chose? Real smooth.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Alaina shrugged. “I really liked that nickname, but I’m afraid the person who called me that was pretty special. The next person to call me Ali is going to have to earn the right.”

Why did Ethan suddenly have the desire to be that person? What was happening to him? Just a few hours earlier, the thought of being stuck in Alabama made him want to scratch his way out of Ben’s bedroom with his own fingernails, but now . . . now he was forgetting why he hadn’t come to visit earlier. What would he be doing right now if he had stayed in LA? He would’ve had a packed out show at the Staples Center, which would’ve been fun, but what about when it was over? He probably would’ve been at some stupid party with Vanessa trying to keep up with everyone who was living the “life”. The thought now seemed almost exhausting.

Ethan wasn’t sure what he expected, but he knew he couldn’t ignore his desire to get to know this girl better. “Alaina, would you like to hang out with me tomorrow? There are a few things I’d like to do while I’m here in Alabama.”

Their gaze held for several more seconds—what felt like an eternity. Finally, Ethan had all he could handle and turned his focus back to his lasagna, feeling the heat rise in his cheeks.

Alaina gave a soft giggle. “Sure, why not.”

Alaina

The alarm clock blared into the faint dream world that came from a restless night’s sleep.

Alaina stretched and stifled a long yawn. The bright sunrise shone through her window and made her squint to keep from seeing spots. Her muscles ached with fatigue and all she wanted to do was roll back over and pass out for the rest of the morning. She was going to have to find a way to get more sleep at night. Maybe she could find something today that would help.

Alaina rolled out of her bed and moved to the little table and chair that sat next to the bay window in her room, as was her morning ritual. The window overlooked the quaint garden area in the back of Granny Mae’s house. Early in the morning was Alaina’s time to reflect and regroup. The time she spent with her God. Sometimes she prayed. Sometimes she read her Bible. Sometimes she wrote in her journal. And sometimes, she just cried.

No matter what challenges the morning brought against her, Alaina felt as if she could face them after a little one on one time with her Savior.

Alaina had not always been so spiritual. Sure, she had always been a pretty well-behaved, responsible girl—and thank God she hadn’t done anything too crazy before realizing the big picture—but she had definitely stepped up her Christian walk since the death of her parents. When Alaina had received the news of their passing, two choices flashed through her mind simultaneously. A part of her wanted to run screaming—destroying everything in her path, including herself—until she used enough energy to get rid of the rage that raced through her blood stream. But something else inside of her felt like a pull. Like someone was tugging on her very soul saying, “You don’t have to destroy yourself just because they’re gone. I’m here with you. I’ll help you through this.”

Alaina hit her knees that night and hadn’t left them since. Without her relationship with God, and her love for Jesus, she knew she would not have made it. One day, she was a normal, carefree teenager. The next, she was on her own to be the only parent her younger brother had left. She’d had to quit every activity she was involved with in school so that she could get a job and support herself and her brother. She’d had to deal with bankers and lawyers to try and get her parent’s finances straightened out. She was even the one to handle all of the arrangements for their funeral. It had taken everything Alaina had in her, but she’d made it through the storm. But she knew it was not without help.

If it hadn’t been for Granny Mae, Alaina didn’t know what would have happened to her and Ben after the accident. She knew of having no family members other than her parents, but what she wouldn’t have done to have a grandmother like Granny Mae. Technically, she did have one now because they had become like family. Alaina felt eternally indebted to Granny Mae for her hospitality and generosity in taking in two kids off the streets.