“So
what’s going on with you?” she asks, barely pausing for
breath. “We haven’t seen you in forever, we should come
down and visit soon.”
“You
know I’m busy with work,” I remind her. “Summer is
always our busiest time of year, all the tourists dreaming about
living here year round.”
“I
know, but you work too hard, honey. You need to make time for other
things. Like a man in your life—”
“Mom,”
I try to interrupt, warning, but she pushes on.
“I
know, I’m supposed to butt out, but I never hear you talk about
anyone serious. You don’t tell me anything at all.”
“That’s
because there’s nothing to tell!” I protest. And when
there is, I don’t exactly want to spill the juicy details to my
mom.
“That’s
the problem, if you put half as much time into finding yourself a man
as you did finding your clients a new home, you’d be settled
with someone wonderful by now. You know I kissed a lot of frogs
before I met your father, and we’ve got our twenty-fifth
wedding anniversary right around the corner. That reminds me, you’ll
be able to make the dinner?”
I
tense at the reminder. I’ve been ignoring it for a while now,
ever since Mom first enthusiastically shared their plans. “When
is it?”
“On
the fifteenth. I sent you an email with all the details. I picked a
lovely spot over in Beachwood Bay, that new seafood restaurant.”
“I’ll
be there,” I promise, sighing.
“Oh,
he’s just pulling in front the store now. Ted!” she
yells, before coming back to the phone. “Hold on a second, he’s
just bringing the bags in—”
“It’s
OK,” I cut her off hurriedly. “I have to go now anyway,
we’ll chat some other time.”
“Well,
alright. And think about what I said, I know I’m just your old
mom, but I know a few things.”
“I’ll
think about it,” I lie, before saying goodbye and hanging up.
I
sit on the steps and let out a long, weary breath.
Twenty-five
years.
Except,
it’s not really that long. Mom chooses to ignore the year we
lost, after Dad came clean about the affair he’d been carrying
on with a woman at his office—all that time he’d been
lying to us both. It was such a betrayal; I can still remember the
shameful look on his face when they both sat me down to tell me. He
couldn’t even look me in the eyes, just kept his gaze fixed on
the mantle—filled with happy photographs of the family that, it
turned out, wasn’t enough for him, after all.
After
that, things got messy. It was summer at least, so I spent almost
every night out with friends, creeping in at dawn with sand in my
hair—not that anyone noticed. He packed up and went to go play
house with Jana from accounting, and even thought I felt guilty about
stranding mom to deal with everything, it was a blessing to leave the
tearful fights and anger behind and head off for college. I thought
they’d file for divorce, that it was over for good, but when I
pulled back into the driveway at home for spring break, I found them
both waiting for me, nervous smiles on their faces.
They
were trying again. Making it work. He’d come back begging with
his tail between his legs, and mom had crumbled and taken him back.
It
took me a long time to understand how she could forgive him, and I
guess a part of me still doesn’t, after all this time. The
cheating is one thing, but the lies . . . I can’t
wrap my head around it. He betrayed her, betrayed us both, and even
though I’ve done my best to follow her lead and pretend like it
never happened, a part of me will never forgive him for that. When
you trust somebody, and they let you down . . . there’s
no going back, no second chances—at least as far as I’m
concerned.
Just
one more reason not to think that a relationship is going to last
forever. Once my eyes were open, I saw it everywhere: the lying, the
playing pretend. My college girlfriends crying over a new breakup
every other week; the guys who swore they only cared about you, but
who had their phones buzzing all night with the latest Tinder
matches. It seems like the minute you put a label on a relationship,
or make that commitment, everyone is suddenly desperate to escape.
And not just guys, either. I’d watch my girlfriends tell dozens
of little white lies, pretending to be something they weren’t
just to keep the illusion of whoever he thought they were alive. It
looked exhausting to me, a betrayal of who you really are, so I
decided, once and for all: I’d never put myself in a position
like that, set myself up for heartbreak by believing a relationship
could last. Keep things simple, keep it fun, and nobody has to tell
any lies. After all, if you’re not expecting
happily-ever-after, then you don’t lose any sleep when it all
comes crashing down. I’ve never pretended to want anything
different, that’s why if Will had given me any warning, I would
have told him to keep his bags packed, turn around and go right back
to where he came from.
Promises
you never make can’t be broken, and that’s just easier on
everyone in the end.
I
decide to add my parents to the growing list of things I’m
ignoring right now, and focus on having a great, relaxing weekend
before the madness of work starts up again tomorrow. After I finish
up my errands, I head over to my friend Sawyer’s place,
equipped with beer, soda, and hotdog buns. Lottie and Kit are already
in the backyard when I arrive, splashing around in their swimming
gear in a bright plastic wading pool while Sawyer gets the grill
smoking.
“Hey!
You got the party started without me!” I greet them, dumping my
stuff on the lawn. I fish a toy from my bag. “Look who left his
favorite duckie in the backseat of my car?” I toss it to
Lottie, who catches it with a sigh of relief.
“Thank
you! I thought we were going to have a serious meltdown on our hands,
until Sawyer distracted him with the puppy.”
Kit
is splashing happily—with a tiny furry friend.
“You
got another one?” I cry, turning to Sawyer. “C’mon,
I thought we agreed, three was enough.”
“She’s
right.” Lottie grins. “What’s the male version of a
cat lady? Because you’re halfway there already.”
Sawyer
shrugs, smiling. “What am I supposed to do? They’re all
so helpless and needy and cute.”
“Remind
me never to take you to a club on ladies’ night,” I snort
with laughter. Not that he needs to go out to have women throw
themselves at him. As a young, handsome vet, Sawyer is pretty much
the most eligible bachelor in town—or at least, he was, until
Will Montgomery showed up.
“Tell
that to Missy Anderson,” Lottie calls, sing-song.
I
arch an eyebrow at Sawyer, sauntering over to hand him a beer.
“Missy, huh? She’s a little on the older side, but maybe
cougars are just your type.”
“Don’t.”
Sawyer looks embarrassed. “She’s got it in her head I’m
going to be her new toyboy. She keeps showing up at the animal rescue
asking about adopting. Except, she only wants a hypoallergenic shih
tzu. She actually asked if we had any ‘in stock.’ ”
I
laugh. “Aww, you could do worse. I heard she cleaned out Mr.
Anderson in the divorce. You could be leading a life of leisure, and
all you’d have to do is parade around in some tight swim trunks
from time to time.”
Sawyer
elbows me good-naturedly. “Keep it up, and you won’t get
fed.”
“No!”
I press my hand to my forehead. “Anything but that!”
He
shakes his head, and goes back to the grill. I pull up a lawn chair
and stretch, yawning. “Late night?” he asks.
I
shake my head. “Early morning. I got a pretty hard workout.”
“Really?”
Sawyer drawls, giving me a look.
I
toss a hotdog bun at him. “Not like that! I went for a run.”
Will’s face flashes into my mind again. I change the subject.
“How are things at the rescue?”
“Great.
We’re building out another shed to house the dogs, and it’s
breeding season, so—” He stops himself. “Sorry, vet
stuff. Moving on.”
“Hey,
it’s OK. I know you love those smelly, fluffy beasts.”
“Delilah
Morgan, animal lover,” he teases.
“I
love them just fine, like the way I love kids.” I grin, taking
a sip of beer. “When they’re clean, groomed, and sleeping
soundly.”
“We
heard that.” Lottie approaches from behind, with Kit bundled up
in a towel.
I
grin. “This guy’s my exception. C’mere.” I
pull Kit into my lap and ruffle his wet hair. He laughs and squirms
against me. “You’re not like the other boys, are you?”
Kit
shakes his head, smiling, jam smeared on his cheek. I drop a kiss on
his forehead and squeeze him tight. “One of these days, you’re
going to be breaking hearts and taking names.”
Lottie
groans. “Don’t even say that. He’s already the most
popular guy in day-care. The other moms keep talking about his new
girlfriends. I’m like, please, he’s two years old, he’s
not even potty-trained. Let’s save dating until he can count to
five.”
We
laugh. I feel my stomach rumble, and shoot a longing look at the
grill. “How much longer until we feast? I’m running on
pure sugar here.”
Sawyer
rolls his eyes. “Will it kill you to eat a balanced meal?
There’s some veggies and dip in the house.”
“And?”
“And
Doritos,” he adds, sighing. I bounce up.
“Be
right back!”
I
head inside and raid Sawyer’s fridge. Nothing but fruit,
vegetables, and a lone container of salsa. This guy is way too
healthy—just one of the million reasons why we’ve never
hooked up. That, and the fact he had a thing for my friend Eva when
he first moved to town. Once I shifted him into the “friend”
box in my mind, there was no going back. I love the guy, but I’d
go crazy trying to date him for more than five minutes—and
hungry.
I
crunch a carrot as I balance the chips and whatever junk food I can
scrounge and head back outside. Lottie and Sawyer are talking about
something, but when I get closer, they fall silent.
“What’s
up?” I ask, ripping into the food.
They
exchange a look. “Nothing!” Lottie says brightly. “Mmm,
pass me some of that celery?”
I
do, as Sawyer’s phone sounds. He checks it, then grins, before
quickly tucking it away. I look between them again. “Seriously,
what’s going on? You guys are acting weird.”
“What?
Weird? No!” Lottie sizes me up. “Did you bring your suit?
The water’s great.”
“I
think the pool’s a little small for me,” I say slowly,
still trying to figure this out.
“Then
let’s just sunbathe instead,” Lottie insists. “You
look really cute in that red bikini. You’re in great shape
these days.”
“Thanks,
but I’m good. Maybe later,” I add, looking between them
again. There’s definitely something they’re hiding, but
it’s too beautiful a day to waste. I shrug. “You guys
keep your little secrets, me and Kit are going to blow some epic
bubbles, isn’t that right?”
I
scoop him up, ready to grab the supplies I bought, when Lottie sees
something behind me. Her face brightens. “Hey, you made it!”
“Sure,
sorry I’m running late.” That voice comes again. The sexy
drawl that’s been following me all around town, at least,
that’s what it feels like. I turn, bracing myself, but nothing
can prepare me for the sight of Will in a faded T-shirt that brings
out the green in his eyes. He looks puzzled for a moment, almost like
he’s surprised to see me. Then he holds up a grocery bag, and
gives me an irresistible grin. “I brought ice cream.”
With
a cherry on top.
The
guys head inside to go fetch more beers, but the minute they’re
out of hearing distance, I grab Lottie. “What are you playing
at?” I hiss, keeping my voice down.
“Me? Nothing!” She
beams. “Sawyer ran into him at the bar the other night, and
they hit it off. Something about sports,” she gives an innocent
shrug. “It’s a small town, you know how it goes.”
“Sure,”
I reply, those butterflies in my stomach starting their nervous
dance. So much for a relaxed, easygoing afternoon. Now I’m
going to be on edge all day, hyper-aware of whenever Will speaks, or
smiles, or even looks at me . . .
“What’s
the problem, anyway?” Lottie asks, sounding casual. “You
said it yourself, he’s not chasing after you. So if you don’t
want to date him, we can all just be friends, right?”
“Right,”
I echo quietly as she heads inside, leaving me and Kit to our games.
I find the bubble supplies, and start showing him how to blow through
the loop of soapy liquid, but I keep glancing back towards the house.
What’s he doing here? Did he know I was friends with Sawyer
too? Soon, they all emerge again with plates of food for the grill,
and Will wanders over to say hi to Kit.
He
sits on the lawn beside us, stretching his long legs out in front.
“Those are some pretty epic bubbles,” he says casually.
“Mind if I try?”
“Sure.”
My voice sounds weirdly perky.
Get
it together
. “Here,
use mine.”
I
pass him the wand, and watch as he blows a stream into the air. Kit
scrambles around trying to catch them, still unsteady on his feet.
Will smiles, watching him. “Just to be clear, I didn’t
know you’d be here,” he says, looking over. “Sawyer
just said it would be a fun group. I don’t want you to feel
like I’m following you around or anything.”
I
let out a slow sigh of relief. It didn’t seem like Will to push
the subject. “Sorry. I didn’t know anything about it
either. I think my friends are trying to play match-maker.”
“They’ve
got good taste,” he quips, and I laugh, relaxing.
“They
mean well, I think. Anyway, sorry you got railroaded.”
He
shrugs. “I don’t mind. It’s good to meet people,
and your friends seem like fun.”