Ready (17 page)

“What do you mean, a man like you?”

“A mercenary.”

W
ere all men this dense, or was it just the really primitive ones? It didn’t really matter how many other men might make such a mistake, but the fact that Joshua had done so offended her no end.

“Of course not. I can’t believe you’d accuse me of something so shallow. Just what have I done to make you think I would ever react that way?”

He put his hands up, like he was surrendering, when she knew he didn’t even have the word in his vocabulary.

“Don’t bite my head off. It was a legitimate question.” But his stoic expression softened the tiniest bit.

“Not in my book.”

“Speaking of your book, how is it coming along?”

Which meant talk about her unexpected issues with her newfound sensuality was over. She hoped.

“I’m having a hard time getting focused today.”

Which was another thing she was finding it difficult to adjust to. She was used to being able to tune out the world when she worked, but she found it almost impossible to tune him out completely—or the memories of their shared passion.

“I’m sorry about that. Nemesis has wreaked a lot of mischief in your life, hasn’t he?”

“Now that you’re here, dismissing him from my mind is pretty easy.” She made herself another cracker snack. “I feel safe.”

“Good, but it’s obvious he’s still impacting you.”

“Wondering if I’m the original fallen woman is impacting me a whole lot more than thinking about some loser who gets his kicks out of terrorizing me.”

“
You are not a fallen woman
. Hell, that’s not even a condition women can aspire to anymore.”

Trust Joshua to see it as an aspiration. She almost smiled. “The only other man I’ve ever made love with is my ex-husband.”

“Does that bother you?”

“No. Not really. I don’t know,” she finally admitted.

“Is it having sex with a man you don’t love or one you’re not married to that bothers you?”

She did love him, but that wasn’t the point. “I never expected to have an affair.”

She’d never wanted to and she honestly didn’t know how she felt about being involved in one now. Everything was such a jumble inside of her, but one truth emerged amidst the chaos.

“I don’t want to stop making love with you. To be honest, I don’t think I could.”

“I’m glad, because I’d hate to have to try.”

She did smile then, relieved and happy that the compulsion was mutual. “Do you think Bella likes doing that kind of thing to Jake?” she asked curiously. “You know, making love to him with her mouth?”

It would help if she had some close girlfriends she could ask this sort of thing, but she lived so much of her life inside her books; she had few outside friendships, none close enough for the type of discussion she was having with Joshua.

He actually blanched. “That is not something I want to contemplate about my baby sister.”

“See?” She glared at him, feeling vulnerable all over again. “Even
you
think it’s depraved behavior.”

“
Even me?
”

“You know what I mean. No one could accuse you of being inhibited.”

“I wouldn’t have accused you of it last night, either.”

That did not make her feel any better and she said so.

He sighed with exasperation. “There’s nothing depraved about you liking taking me in your mouth, but a man does not want to think of his sister kissing with her tongue, much less having sex with her husband,
in any way
.”

“Oh.” Duh. She’d been thinking in the abstract, or she never would have asked the question to begin with.

She didn’t really want to know that kind of stuff about Jake, either.

“But if it will make you feel better, I’d say it’s a safe bet Jake and Bella enjoy a complete and varied sex life.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I think so.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. You do realize it is the twenty-first century don’t you?”

“Yes, and my high school sex education teacher in Canyon Rock, Texas, called a penis a
manhood
and a woman’s vagina her
womanhood
. As far as she was concerned, a woman’s clitoris didn’t even exist.”

“You are ten years out of high school, Lise.”

“Well, yes, but this is the first time since then that I’ve been in a position to question my own sexual attitudes.” Sex with Mike had never been even borderline adventurous.

Joshua reached out and ran his fingertip along the V-neckline of the light cotton sweater she’d thrown on after their shower earlier. “You’ve got damn fine sexual instincts, I’d say.”

Her skin tingled from his touch, and she could hear her own heartbeat in her ears.

She’d been talking about attitudes, not instincts, but his words of praise made her feel proud all the same. Despite her misgivings, she liked knowing he was so pleased with her sexuality. After her divorce, there had been times she’d wondered if she wasn’t something of a sexual amoeba.

She didn’t feel that way now.

Embarrassed or not, wholly comfortable with the situation or not, she felt fully alive and functioning and she liked it.

His fingertip dipped into the valley between her breasts, under her sweater. “You’re a perfect sexual partner for me and that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?”

A laugh burst out of her and she pulled back from that disturbing caress with a smile. “Has anyone ever told you that you can be awfully arrogant?”

“No.”

It took her a second, but she realized he was serious.

She just stared at him for something like five full seconds. “Cryin’ out loud, Joshua, are the people around you blind?”

“No. They’ve seen what I can do. So have you.” And from the look in his eyes, he was definitely referring to the sex thing.

She shook her head at his blatant confidence.

“I suppose they’ve never mentioned that you’re as bossy as a rooster in the henhouse, either?” she asked, thinking how naturally he’d taken the details of her life over.

“I’ve never had anyone compare me to a rooster before—now, a
cock
is a different matter.” He winked at her.

She picked up one of the crackers and tossed it at him.

He caught it midair and popped it in his mouth, an expression on his face that made her want to fly across the table and jump his bones.

She forced herself to take a spoonful of soup instead. The pillow under her bottom notwithstanding, she was too achy to contemplate anything like that at the moment.

“So, did Hotwire get a chance to research any of the suspects?”

“Yeah, but there’s another list I need from you.”

“Who? My Sunday School class in third grade?” He’d asked about pretty much everyone else the day before.

“The people you’ve interviewed for your books.”

That made sense, though she couldn’t imagine any of them stalking her. Of course, a year ago she wouldn’t have been able to imagine anyone stalking her at all. “Okay. I’ll put it together after lunch.”

“I’m giving you a massage after lunch, then you are taking a nap. You can put it together after you’re rested.”

“Bossy rooster,” she accused while wondering what sort of massage he meant.

He just laughed and winked. “You bring it out in me.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m so not buying that.”

Joshua shrugged.

“So what
did
Hotwire find?”

“One of the men who skipped parole has no computer experience in his background and the other has been picked up. He was in Louisiana peddling crack in the District in New Orleans.”

“The other guy could have studied computers in prison.”

“He didn’t—not formally, anyway.”

She didn’t ask how he was so sure about that. She got the distinct impression that Hotwire knew how to access files denied to most people. “Maybe he played with computers in his spare time. Prisons have a lot of options like that for inmates nowadays.”

Joshua looked supremely unconvinced. “It would take a lot more than a casual acquaintance with computers to do the things Nemesis has done.”

“You mean the hacking?”

“And the modifications to his espionage equipment. That could only be done by someone with a strong understanding of electronics.”

She sighed. “So, what you’re saying is that he’s not my stalker?”

“That’s my gut feeling.”

“What about the other possible prospects?”

“Strikeouts. Every one of them lives too far away from both Texas and Seattle to have done the things Nemesis has done without taking some significant time off from their jobs.”

“And none of them have.”

“Right.”

She stood up and started clearing the table for something to do. “Where do we go from here?”

“We keep digging.”

“What can I do?”

“Make that list of people you’ve interviewed and I’d like to have a look at the rest of your reader letters, too.”

She stopped halfway to the sink. “But why? They’re from people who
like
my books.”

“Lise, you’re not very social. Even back in Canyon Rock you spent most of your time either with Jake and Bella or alone in your apartment.”

She had a few friends, but for the most part, he was right. “And?”

“Nemesis accused you of leading other women astray.”

“He’s nuts.”

“Absolutely, but the point is, he has to have a reason, no matter how obscure, for believing that. The only possible source Hotwire, Nitro, and I can come up with is your books.”

It made sense and was a conclusion she’d come to as well. “I still don’t understand how reading my fan mail is going to help find someone who hates me enough to stalk me.”

Joshua shrugged. “It’s worth a try.”

“Okay. Do you need me to get them for you?”

“They’re in the same file drawer as the other folder was?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’ll find them.”

She opened her mouth to agree when the phone rang. Her heart skipped a beat, but when she picked the receiver up, her brother was on the other end. She’d been expecting the call, but not his pronouncement that he wanted to come to Seattle and help find the stalker. She was glad Joshua was there to help her convince Jake that Lise’s best chance of catching her stalker was to stay in Seattle for the moment and that Bella needed Jake’s protection more than Lise did.

Joshua’s massage turned out to be total sensual pleasure as well as torment. Not only did it hurt to have sore muscles rubbed into submission, but once the pain was gone, having his fingers so close to her sexual center made her damp with desire.

He noticed, and by the time he finished the deeply intimate massage, both she and Joshua were straining from the effort of not doing anything about the feelings arcing between them.

He announced she needed a hot bath before her nap to relax her, but refused to join her, completely serious about the need for her muscles and feminine flesh to recuperate from the exercise she and Joshua had given them. When she started to nod off, her body as boneless as it had been after climaxing, she had to admit that soaking in the steaming, softly scented water had been a good idea.

Joshua caught her dozing and insisted on drying her off, then carrying her to bed and tucking her in.

When she woke up, dusk had fallen and Joshua was quietly conversing with Nitro in the kitchen. Lise joined them, not too proud to sit on the pillow Joshua had left on the kitchen chair. She felt infinitely better, but she wasn’t going to risk being too sore to enjoy Joshua in her bed that night.

She hoped he’d gotten some condoms. She had no idea how much time they had together, but she was determined to maximize the moments of intimacy with her mercenary bodyguard. “Hi, guys.”

Joshua came away from where he’d been leaning against the counter and dropped a soft, quick kiss on her mouth.

She darted a glance at Nitro to see how he’d taken Joshua’s claim-staking gesture. The other man’s face was impassive as usual, but his eyes were smiling, surprising her.

Maybe he was warming up to her.

She turned back to Joshua. “I thought I’d make that list for you now.”

“First, you need to eat something.”

“You’ve got a real thing about feeding me.”

“I like to cook.”

“He made some homemade sorbet. It’s good.” Nitro’s words stunned her.

Mostly because he’d spoken at all, but also because she had a very hard time picturing her soldier of fortune puttering around in the kitchen. When she tasted the tangy lemon sorbet, she thought
puttering
was definitely not the right word.

She ate it while making the list and then got up to put the bowl in the sink.

“Can I go out?” she asked.

Joshua had picked up her list. “Out where?”

“Anywhere. I hate being cooped up inside—I feel like I’ve been living in a prison cell since the Seahawks game. The only time I left my apartment was when you took me to Texas.” She rinsed her dish and put it in the small apartment dishwasher. “I hate being inside all the time.”

“You’re a writer,” Joshua said, sounding disbelieving.

“Yes, and I bought a laptop with one of my first advance checks and a Dana later. I like being mobile. When I was back home, I spent hours writing in secluded spots on the ranch. I feel like Nemesis has stolen my life from me.”

“It’s going to get better.”

“He’s threatened my family, Joshua.” Which made her feel doubly helpless and that made her angry.

Joshua came over and started rubbing her shoulders, proving intimate massage wasn’t the only one he was good at. “He’s not getting near them. We’re going to get your life back and you’ll get out of this apartment, but right now, we want Nemesis to think you’re running scared. We want him overconfident.”

“And frustrated,” Nitro added.

“What do you mean?”

Joshua kept up his soothing ministrations. “He can’t hear you right now and that’s going to really piss him off. He wants control and he hasn’t got it. When he does finally see you leave, we want him primed to act.”

“Which means you want me to stay holed up in my apartment.” She stifled the urge to argue. He was right, after all, and it wasn’t Joshua’s fault she felt so stifled.