Ready (7 page)

“No.” Agonized groan. “
Yes
.” She sighed and then cried out. “
Don’t stop
. Oh,
harder
, please, Joshua, just a
little harder
.”

He gave her what she wanted and when her body bowed in rigid pleasure, he once again carefully bit down on the nipple in his mouth.

She cried out and came with one body-racking shudder after another while he kept stimulating her breasts until she went totally limp.

He ached to take her completely, but he held himself in check. Barely.

They were outside where someone might come to explore the strange noises and discover two people making love instead. She would be horrified to be caught in such a way. Even more important—at least to him—once he’d had her, he wouldn’t be able to live with her without having her again.

Sex and his kind of work did not mix.

Lise deserved the best and he couldn’t give it if he was walking around in a sexual daze all of the time.

That didn’t mean he didn’t want her, though. Damn it to hell and back. He did. It took several seconds of measured breathing before he could lift his head and look at the effect his ministrations had wrought. When he did, his self-control came as close to disintegrating as it ever had in his life.

She lay back against the swing, her body utterly relaxed and her eyes half-closed. Moonlight revealed the flush of sexual completion and her rock-like nipples still glistened temptingly. “That was amazing.”

Her words were at odds with the moisture filling her passion-dark eyes.

What the hell?

The tears spilled over and tracked down her cheeks in a slow, steady pattern.

“Why are you crying?” He hadn’t hurt her; he would know if he had.

She shrugged, making no effort to cover the pale pink nakedness he was battling not to touch again.

“I lost myself for a while, just like I knew I would.”

She didn’t sound happy about it, but she didn’t sound angry, either. Her tone was more resigned than anything, and he liked that even less than the tears.

She sighed and rubbed at the wetness on her face with the backs of her hands. “Do you want to come to my room?”

If she’d asked with the passion that had filled her voice earlier, he would have found it impossible to say no despite knowing how stupid giving in to his desire for her right now would be, but she didn’t. Her tone still held a resignation at odds with her sexual satiation. It was as if she were admitting she could not resist him, but even the pleasure he’d given her did not make up for what she felt that cost her.

Anger simmered through him. He hadn’t done a damn thing she didn’t want.

He also had not touched her in some power play designed to make her helpless to deny her own desire. “I didn’t touch you to seduce you.”

He didn’t want anything that wasn’t freely given.

“Then why?”

“I couldn’t help myself.” And that was the appalling truth.

One he didn’t like facing any more than he liked her emotional reaction to her climax.

So, he stood up and swung her small body into his arms, its contours all too soft against him. She let her head fall against his shoulder, her silky hair doing things to his skin he didn’t even want to think about, her breasts moving enticingly with every step he took.

He should have buttoned her back into her nightgown before picking her up, or better yet, let her walk on her own.

Manfully ignoring the provocation of her flesh, he carried her up to her room and dropped her on the bed and turned to go.

Her hand came out to grab his arm and he swung around with the lightning-quick reflexes he’d honed over sixteen years of soldiering.

“Aren’t you staying?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“First, because it’s a bad idea for us to get physically involved at this point, and second, because you don’t really want me to.”

Her mouth twisted wryly. “You’re wrong about that.”

“Your body wants it, but your mind thinks it would be a mistake and I agree.”

“I see.”

He doubted it, but he’d pushed his self-control as far as he could that night. If he stayed one second longer, he was going to join her on the bed and to hell with both of their reasons for saying no.

Lise watched Joshua walk out of her bedroom without saying another word and it was all she could do not to call him back. Which said what about her intelligence?

Good night and granny’s garters,
why had she let him touch her?
Was she a brick shy of a full load, or just plain stupid?

She’d known any level of intimacy with him would be devastating and she’d been right. She’d never gotten as lost to herself when making love with her ex-husband as she had when Joshua touched her. His expert caresses had decimated her solid reasons for avoiding a sexual relationship, and it had not simply been the reality of his hands on her body.

The mere memory of the one kiss they’d shared had been enough to destroy her good intentions.

She’d been primed and ready when he showed up on the porch and found her trying to assuage a need more intense than any she’d ever known. He’d taken immediate advantage and she’d let him. Had, in fact, reveled in his touch to the point of experiencing a glorious explosion of pleasure at his hands.

He’d liked it, too. The bulge in the front of his pants had been unmistakable.

So why had he refused her invitation to share her bed?

He’d said it was because she didn’t
really
want him, but he had to have known she would have let him make love to her completely, despite her misgivings. She couldn’t have stopped herself. Because she did want him. A lot.

He’d been right about one thing, though. She
wasn’t
happy being at the mercy of a physical desire that put her emotions at risk again.

Had that really mattered to him?

A mercenary, Joshua was a man who in all likelihood used sex as a tension reliever. She had a hard time seeing him as so fastidious about why sex was offered that he would turn down a woman he wanted as much as he wanted her. Such sensitivity did not fit with her image of him, but neither did his refusal to let her pay him.

He was a puzzle she could not afford to get caught up in.

He had said before that he didn’t do sex on the job and maybe that rule explained his coming to his senses before they did the deed.

Regardless of his reasons, she should be grateful for his withdrawal, not feeling this aching void in the core of her being and a terrible temptation to go find his bed since he’d refused to share hers.

Dusk shrouded the landing strip in shadows as Joshua landed his plane at the small municipal airport outside of Seattle.

Although the touchdown was smooth, Lise’s stomach sank with the final decrease in altitude. She’d eaten a small breakfast and nonexistent lunch. Fatigue always affected her appetite, but this time it was more than lack of sleep that left her feeling blechy. It was the knowledge that they were at the end of their journey.

The jet engines cut off, surrounding them in absolute silence. She and Joshua hadn’t talked for pretty much the entire trip, although he had invited her to sit in the cockpit with him. It had been interesting, but each mile closer to Seattle had increased her sense of oppression.

“Traffic is going to be terrible getting back into Seattle this time of night,” she said, so she wouldn’t have to focus on what was really bothering her.

Returning to her stalker’s orbit.

Joshua shrugged as he pushed open the plane’s door, then lowered the stairway. “We can have dinner before going back into the city. If the traffic is still ugly, we’ll survive it.”

“Do we have to go back to the apartment tonight?” she asked.

One more night away wouldn’t make a huge difference, would it? She cringed inside at the spineless thought.

“Let’s talk to Nitro and Hotwire and hear what they found out before we make any major decisions.”

Knowing Joshua realized she didn’t want to go home made her determined not to give in to her emotional weakness.

Besides, she had a book to finish. The delivery deadline she’d told Bella about had been real, just not unexpected. However, because her concentration had been off, Lise was behind her writing schedule and knew it would take a lot of work to get the book done on time.

“I should get back to work.”

He didn’t say anything, but put his hand out to help her down the steps.

A man with blond hair and blue eyes, but looking every bit as intimidating as Joshua ever did, waited on the tarmac at the bottom of the stairs. Hotwire. She remembered from the brief meeting before her and Joshua’s flight to Texas.

He stuck his hand out to grab one of the bags from Joshua. “Hello, Miz Barton. It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

Hot Georgia honey rolled off his tongue, and she couldn’t help smiling at him as she let him guide her down the last couple of steps.

“Where’s Nitro?” Joshua asked as he took her arm, putting his body between her and Hotwire.

The look he was giving his friend was pure possessive male and totally confusing after his rejection the night before. He was acting like a stallion protecting his mare from a rival.

How ridiculous was that? Not only did Joshua have no claim on her, but there wasn’t so much as a tiny test tube of sexual chemistry between her and the fair man. Unlike the explosion of combustible chemicals that erupted between her and Joshua whenever they got within three feet of each other.

Hotwire waited to answer Joshua until they’d closed up the plane and started walking across the tarmac toward the parked cars. “Nitro’s keeping the apartment under surveillance. We’re hoping to lure the perp into showing himself while Miz Barton here is still gone.”

“Why would he do that?” Lise asked, momentarily distracted from Joshua’s perplexing behavior.

They’d reached the rental car and Hotwire pressed the remote unlock button. “We sent a few false signals on his bug, indicators that the electronics were breaking down. Then we cut the transmission completely this morning.”

“You think he’ll believe it’s broken and try to break into my apartment to fix it?”

“That’s what we’re hoping.”

It couldn’t be that simple, could it? Lise thought what it would mean to her to identify the stalker and felt chills go up and down her arms at the prospect.

Joshua opened the back door on the passenger side, indicating she should get inside. She did, but had to suck in air when he leaned across her to lock the safety belt in place.

He stopped when his face was directly in front of hers. “Comfortable?”

“Um…yes.”

He nodded and stepped back, allowing her to breathe normally again.

“So, what did you find in the apartment?” he asked Hotwire as the two men got in the front seat.

Hotwire whistled softly and started the car. “This guy knows his electronics, but he’s not using high-end stuff. My guess is he doesn’t have the financial resources for professional equipment. He’s made modifications to amateur spy tech items that indicate he’s got a pretty good understanding of what he’s doing.”

“What kind of spy stuff?” Lise asked from the back seat.

Hotwire met her eyes in the rearview mirror, his expression as dark as Joshua’s eyes. “He had a transmitter inside your desktop computer. One of the pens in your pen cup had a transmitter as well, but the battery was dead, so we don’t know how long it has been there. One of your stereo speakers has a minicam transmitter—”

“
He could see me?
” she interrupted, even more freaked by the reality than she had been when Joshua had mentioned it was a possibility in Texas.

“Yes, but only when you were in certain parts of the living room.”

Thinking about the direction her speakers faced, she knew exactly which parts. Her maple rocker was one of them, the place she spent most of her relax time. A knot formed in her stomach and squeezed.

“What else?” Joshua asked, as if what Hotwire had said hadn’t been enough.

Hotwire flicked a glance at Joshua before looking back at the road. “Her car has a sound and position transmitter in the antennae. It isn’t satellite connected, but he can follow her within a two-mile radius and she would never know it.”

The whole trip from Texas to Seattle, Nemesis had been following her.

He’d known exactly where she was at all times
.

Thinking of some of the small hotels she’d stayed at, the long stretches of deserted highways she’d driven, and the falseness of her sense of security in her anonymity made her stomach churn around the painful knot.

Bile came up in her throat and she forced it back down. “Hotwire, could you please stop the car?”

They came to a sudden but smooth halt beside the road. She unbuckled her seat belt, shoved the door open and jumped from the car. She sucked in air and tried not to give in to the sick sensation, but image after disturbing image flashed through her mind, making it almost impossible not to throw up.

Suddenly Joshua was there, wrapping his big arms around her, pulling her into the heat of his body. “It’s going to be okay, Lise. Relax.”

“He followed me…the whole time I thought I was safe, by myself. He was there, tracking me, knowing where I was every second of every day.”

Joshua turned her body and she buried her face in his chest, inhaling his scent and letting the strength of his body infuse her own.

“I know…shh…I know…”

She believed him. Even though she could not imagine Joshua Watt afraid of anything, she believed that he understood her fear and empathized with it.

The nausea finally passed, but she nestled against Joshua, unwilling to give up the haven of his arms.

“Is she all right?” Hotwire asked.

Joshua pulled away and looked down at her questioningly.

“I’ll be fine.”

“You sure?”

She nodded. She turned to Hotwire. “Sorry about that. I shouldn’t let it get to me.”

The blond man looked at her like he was measuring her mettle and then his mouth creased into a smile. “You’ll do.”

For some reason that made Joshua frown, but he kept his arm around her as he led her back to the car. Hotwire pulled out onto the road before Joshua spoke again.