Rain (2 page)

Lion
resting in the meadow…

“You’re
serious?” Tate asks, astounded. “You’re staying?”

“Yep,”
I say as I kick his ass in a Call of Duty game.

He
shoves his hands through his hair, brows pulled together, clearly displeased.
“What the hell?”

“I
know, Tate. You’re lagging behind,” I grumble, ripping into a zombie.

He
pauses
the game, turning his entire torso to look at
me. “You’re staying?”

I
sit the Xbox controller in my lap, meeting his bewildered, infuriated gaze.
“Umm…yeah.
I’ll be okay. I promise.”

He
shakes his head in disagreement. “I don’t believe you, Rain.”

“I
love you, Tate.”

His
confusion deepens. He blinks a few times, processing my words. “What?”

“I
love you,” I whisper a notch lower, pain building in my chest form the emotion
crossing his face.

“Rain,”
he breathes, eyes widen, body rigid. He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath,
and when he opens them, they’re blazing. “You can’t say shit like that to me.
You disarm me every time I’m about to rip you a new asshole. It’s not fair,
Rain. It’s not fucking fair because,” he takes a deep inhale, eyes losing
focus, “I love you, too.
More and more every day.”
He
sits his controller on the couch beside him. Then he leans forward. I stay
perfectly still, not wanting to lean away. His lips are an inch away from mine,
and I hold his intense gaze, my lips parted so I can take in his delicious
breath. “I will never give up on you.”

I
close my eyes tight as his words wreck me.

He
places a gentle kiss on the side of my neck, on my yellowing bruise.

I’m
half disappointed and half relieved that he didn’t kiss me on the lips. Half
disappointed because I wanted to feel his lips on mine, even if it was just a
short moment, and relieved because I probably couldn’t stop myself after just
one kiss. 

Tate
has always handled me with care.

Gasping,
my fingers curl in his silky hair as my entire body pulses in delightful
tingles.

My
hands jerk in his hair when he tries to pull away. I open my eyes to find him grinning
down at me with deep and conflicting emotions in his green eyes. “Don’t look at
me like that,” he murmurs.

“Like
what?”

“Like
I-want-to-do-you-right-here-on-the-floor look.”

My
hands twitch in his hair again, and he smiles, kissing both my arms before I
release him.

“I
need a drink,” he says, pulling me up to him.

“You
want to go out tonight?”

His
phone vibrates. Tate digs in his pocket and pulls it out, frowning at the
number.

“Nikki?”

He
sighs, ignoring the call.
“Yeah.
I still think we
should get our numbers changed. She’s nuts. I swear I’m going to end up on
Snapped
one day.”

“I
wouldn’t let her hurt you,” I whisper.

“Good
to know, cupcake.” He smiles and reaches out to touch my face, staring at me
for an infinite about of time.

“What
are you doing?” I finally ask, giggling.

“You
seem like a dream, I had to make sure you were real,” he says. “Cheesy I know,
but real regardless.”

I
move his hand on my chest, over my heart. “Real I am.”

He
drops his head, closing his eyes, hand still stretch out to my chest.

“Tate,
are you alright?” I ask, my stomach fluttering.

“This
is music to my ears.”

The
rhythm of my heart changes, it beats harder and faster. “Tate,” I breathe, my
arms curling around his neck.

He
opens his eyes, staring into mine. “I’m lost every time I look into those milk
chocolate eyes.” Tate urges me to the floor, and I hold his searing gaze.

My
hands shift under his shirt, feeling his abs and smooth skin.

His
hands glide up my thighs, pulling up the sides of my dress with his palms. His
fingers are splayed on top of the waistband of my tights. Tate’s hand settles
between my legs. I inhale sharply.

How
can this be wrong and feel so right?

My
body arches and my eyes shut as his hand dips past the waistband of my panties.
My hands move to the tops of his shoulders, breathing unevenly.

“All
this for me?” he whispers in awe as his fingers glide through my arousal.

I
open my eyes to find him gazing back at me in a mixture of
desire, wonder, amazement, and
sadness.

He leans forward, pressing his lips against
mine.

Moaning, I open my mouth and he slips his
tongue in. My hands move to his hair and I yank.

He growls, sending my hormones into a wild
frenzy.

“I want you,” I say softly, hooking my legs
around his waist, pushing him closer to me.

Tate removes his hand and stares at me for a
moment. Then he smiles with a certain gleam in his eyes. “Okay.” His hands
fumble to the button on his jeans when a car alarm goes off. He pauses, resting
his clammy forehead in the crook of my neck. “I think that’s your car.” He
leans away and pulls up my tights, kissing me before he helps me to my feet.

I grab my coat from the back of the kitchen
chair and slip it on, retrieving the keys from my pocket. Tate walks behind me
as we step outside of his apartment.

I switch the alarm off, bewildered. Across
the windshield is the word
whore
painted in bold red letters. The sides
of the doors are scratched and the gas tank is open with an empty bag of sugar
on the pavement.

“Nikki,” he accuses angrily. He steps in
front of me as if shielding me from something. “Go back inside and lock the
door until I come back,” he says calmly but urgently.

“Okay.” I take in my beaten black Mercedes my
parents got me for my twenty-first birthday and then dash inside, locking the
door behind me. Pulling out my phone I call Zack. He answers on the first ring.
He always answers my calls on the first ring.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“Nikki trashed my car; sugar is in the tank
and everything.”

“Where are you?”

“Tate’s place,” I reply, peeking out the
window blinds. Nikki steps out of her Lexus and starts to frantically hit Tate
in his chest, crying and shouting angrily at the top of her lungs.

“Stay where you are. Be there in ten.”

He ends the call.

I shove the phone back in my coat pocket,
still watching Tate and Nikki. He lets her little fists pound away until she
tires and stops, sobbing heavily. He throws his arms around her, causing her to
lean completely into him. He caringly strokes her back as she buries her face
in his shirt. He whispers something in her ear. She nods and takes a reluctant
step back. He begins to stride towards the door.

I back away from the window and open the door
when he knocks. “Is everything alright?” I ask.

He sighs and shakes his head. “No. I’ll catch
you up on everything tonight.” He grabs his jacket off the couch and throws it
on, snatching his car keys off the counter. “Lock up the place after you leave.
I’ll call you so we can meet up for drinks later.”

“Okay,” I whisper, following him to the door.
But the doorknob turns and a pale-faced Nikki steps in. White bandages on both
wrists peek out from her cream-colored trench coat as she shuts the door.

“Nikki, I thought I told you to wait for me
outside,” Tate says softly.

Nikki stares at me with empty and wide gray
eyes. “I was, but I had to apologize to Rain.” She paws through her leather
purse and pulls out a white envelope. “I’m sorry, Rain.” She reaches out to
hand me the envelope, and I take it. “It’s four thousand, cash. I know it’s not
much…but I want you to have it, for the car.” She takes a deep breath and tries
to form her trembling lips into a smile when she glances up at Tate.

Tate nods and opens the door, wary eyes
locked on her. “See you later, Rain.”

“Okay.”

I watch as they get into his silver Range
Rover and drive off.

After a few minutes pass, there’s a hard
knock on the door. I open it to find Zack, his features stiff in anger.
“Ready?”

“Yes.” I turn off the game and the TV and
switch off all the lights, locking the bottom lock before I shut the door.

My car is already getting towed when I step
out into the pouring rain with Zack. “That was fast,” I murmur, walking to his
black Mustang.

“Yeah.
The fuel filter and carburetor is jacked. It shouldn’t
take me long to replace them, though.”

We glide into his car. I strap on my
seatbelt, passing him the white envelope. “It’s four thousand. Nikki gave it to
me. Will it be enough?”

He stares at it in my hand and then looks up
at me. “Baby, you know I got you. Spend it on yourself.”

Wow! He’s taking this really good. It’s
completely unexpected; I thought he’d be fuming with rage.

I stuff the envelope in my coat pocket,
glancing over at him, smiling as he cranks the engine. He turns to me,
grinning
a charming grin. “What’s with the gigantic smile?”

“You’re taking this better than I thought you
would.”

He opens the glove compartment and pulls out
a small square-shaped card, passing it to me. It’s psychiatrist business card.
“Dr. Green?”

“Yeah.
I asked you if I need help and you said yes. So I’m going
to get help. I’m not going to mess us up and make it easy for you to leave me.
I can change; I just need you to believe in me.”

I lean over and kiss his cheek. “I always
have.”

The
cherished oils of a crushed daisy…

“You’re
wearing that?” he asks, eyes scanning my long-sleeved white and gold dress and
black boots.

“Yes,”
I answer, crossing my arms. “The dress isn’t
that
short—it stops just
above my knees.”

His
eyes run down the length of the dress again, thoroughly taking me in. “Short
no, tight yes. And you’re just going to a bar?”

“Yes.”

“With Tate?”

“Yes.”

“And
you’re just friends?”

The
guilt hits me like a brick to the face, the impact leaves me breathless and
shaky. “He’s my best friend.”

His
eyes catch everything. He sits up straighter on the sofa, brows pushed together
and body rigid. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Sighing,
I sit down beside him, placing a hand on his lap. “Zack, you know I love you,
right?”

He
moves his hand to my neck, massaging the tense muscles there.
“Yeah.”

I
hold his gaze for a moment and then blurt out, “We kissed.”

His
hand jerks on the back of my neck, squeezing. I wince but not from his firm
hold on my neck. It’s from the wounded expression on his face. “Did you sleep
with him?”

“No!
But I did want to,” I admit. “I’m sorry. I love you, Zack.”

Without
saying say a word, he gets up and turns his back to me, punching the living
room wall again and again, grunting, and breaking right through the drywall
relentlessly. He’s like a deranged wild animal. His fists probably could crack
through concrete if he wanted to. Zack pounds away until he’s heaving, gasping,
and completely exhausted.

Suppressing
my fear, I stand and cautiously walk over to him. Blood is smeared all over the
wall from his raw knuckles that rest in huge cracked dents. I throw my arms
around his middle, kissing his heated back.

He
shudders, leaning forward and resting his forehead on the wall, breathing
heavily.

I
tighten my hold on him as he glides down to the floor, resting on his knees.

He
hunches forward, gripping the grey carpet under him as if he’d disappear
without it. “I…can’t…lose…you.”

“You
won’t. I’m right here,” I reassure, still holding him.

I’m
about to release him when he whispers, “Please. Hold me a little longer.”

My
arms grow firmer as I bury my face in his heaving back. “Okay.” This moment is
breaking my heart.

I
don’t know how long I hold him, but his pounding heart slows to a steady rhythm
and his breathing in normal again.

“Do
you remember when we first met?” he finally asks quietly.

“At the hospital a year ago.”

He
chuckles sadly. “We both brought our moms to the ER at the same time. We had to
wait in the waiting room while they got checked out. You just happen to sit
beside me. I glanced at your face and noticed that you were frightened, I was
scared too...”

“You
were close and looked you needed some comfort, but then you tried to make me
laugh with a bad joke,” I say, laughing from the memory.

He
chuckles again. “What did the blanket say to the bed?”

“Don’t
worry, I’ve got you covered,” I say, giggling.

“It
worked, though. You cracked a smile and it completely wrecked me. I knew I was
yours from that point on. I was ruined.”

I
give him squeeze. I still feel guilty that my mother went in for a migraine and
his mother never came back out alive.

“I
lost my mom that same night from a heart attack. She was healthy; it was stress
that killed her. She was always concerned about me—her only child. I was her
world and she was mine. You stayed with me and held me the entire night while I
wept like a baby in your arms. I was a complete and total stranger yet you
stayed with me.”

“When
my mom was discharged, I didn’t want to let you go. I couldn’t.”

“So
don’t,” he whispers.

My
heart is going to split from his despair. “Okay.”

We
stay on the floor for a while, both on our knees, my cheek pressed against his
warm back. “Let’s get up from this floor.” I release him and he stands then
turns to face me. He smiles as he towers over me. He tilts his head to the
side, glossy eyes twinkling with affection, love, and darkness. “I like you in
that position.”  

I
tip my head back.
“Oh yeah?
Are you going to keep me
here all night?”

He
gives me a closed-mouth smile, holding out his hand.

I
take it and we stroll towards the bedroom where we rest on the mattress,
continuing to hold one another. “You can still go out if you want,” he murmurs,
fingers caressing my back.

“No,
I’ll stay. You need me more.”

“I
need you always.”

A
smirk crosses my face. “I need you now.”

He
grins, sitting up to drag his shirt over his head. “Ask and you shall receive.”

I
toss off my dress and then reach down to unzip my boots when he says, “No,
leave them on. I want to test your riding skills, cowgirl.
You
on top.”

My
heart beats so hard it hurts.

I
straddle his as he reaches for a condom.

And
then my phone rings.

Bending,
I rest my forehead in the crook of his neck. He passes me my cell and I answer
it without looking at the number on the screen.

“Hello?”

“I
can’t make it.” It’s Tate.

“That’s
cool.  Something came up, anyway.” I kiss Zack’s neck and he shivers, his
hands grasping both sides of my hips.

“She
cuts herself.”

My
brows pull in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Nikki.
She cuts herself because of me. I can’t…I can’t live with myself if she dies
because of me. So I decided to stay with her, you know, until she gets
stronger.”

“It’s
fine. We’re best friends. We should
stay
best friends. Why mess that
up?”

He
sighs, exasperated. “Damn. This is not how I expected my Saturday night to go.
Alright.
I guess you’re right for now. Sorry about the car,
I’ll pay for it.”

“No.
Zack says he’s got me.”

“Well,
I still don’t like him.”

“I
still don’t like her,” I counter.

“Fair enough.
She’s back from
the bathroom. I’ll call you tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

“Listen,
what happened between us—
”

“It
is fine,” I say, cutting him off. “Let’s pretend it never happened.”

“But
it did, Rain,” he murmurs as if pained. “I can’t
pretend
when I can
still feel your soft lips on mine, when I can still taste your sweet breath, when
your caress still lingers on my skin.”

“Tate,
we can’t.” My voice is strained just like my heart. I lift myself up and stare
into Zack’s gleaming eyes that are blazing with a passion I’ve never known.

“Right
now we can’t. The future is still untold…I was thinking maybe after
clinicals
we can take a trip up to L.A. I miss my family,
too.”

“Sounds good.”
Zack’s hands
run down the line of back, squeezing my backside, making me gasp. He’s getting
impatient.

“We’re
just a couple of kids trying to carve our own way into this world.”

“I
can’t argue you with that.”

He
inhales deeply, and I hear Nikki’s voice in the background. I can’t make out
what she’s saying, though. “Talk to you later, Rain.”

“Goodbye,
Tate.”

The End…

(For now)