the end, and bury Musa on her own.
She'd have to put up stones to mark her husband's passing
and tend his grave until the caravan returned for her. She would
be safe and comfortable if she took care. There was sufficient
water in skins for a week or so, and then she could locate a
cistern of some kind; there were also figs and olives and some
grain, some salted meat and other food, plus the tent, the family
possessiOns, small amounts of different wools, a knife, some
2
perfume and a little gold. She'd have company as well. They'd
leave six goats for her, plus a halting donkey which was too slow
and useless for the caravan. Two donkeys then. Both lame, she
said, nodding at her husband.
Nobody laughed at Miri's indiscretions. It did not seem appropriate to laugh when there was fever in the tent, though leaving Musa behind, half dead, was a satisfying prospect for everyone.
With luck, they said, Musa would only have to endure his
suffering for a day or two more. And then? And then, when
Miri had done her duty to her husband, they suggested, there
would be habitations in the valley where she could, perhaps,
seek refuge. She might find a buyer for the gold; take care, they
warned, for gold can bring bad luck as well. Or she might employ
the goats to buy herself a place to stay for her confinement -
until the caravan had a chance to come for her and any child, if
it survived. Eventually, she'd have the profits from her husband's
merchandise which they would trade on her behalf, the sacks of
decorated copperware from Edom, his beloved bolts of woven
cloth, his coloured wools. She smiled at that and shook her head
and asked if they imagined that she was a halting donkey too.
No, no, they said; why couldn't she have more faith in their
honesty? Of course there would be profits from the sale. They
would not want to say how much. But she might be rich enough
to get another husband. A better one than Musa anyhow, they
thought. A smaller one. An older one. One that didn't lie or use
his fists so frequently, or shout and weep and laugh so much.
One who didn't get so drunk, perhaps, then sit up half the night
throwing pebbles at the camels and his neighbours' tents, pelting
goats' dung at the moon. One that didn't stink so badly as he
died.
They promised they would return by the following spring,
one year at the latest. But Miri understood there'd be no spring
to bring them back, no matter where they went. They'd make
3
certain that their winters didn't end. Why would they come so
far to reclaim the widow and the orphan of a man who'd been
so troublesome and unpredictable? Besides, they wouldn't want
to lose the profits they had made. Not after they had held them
for a year. No, Miri was not worth the trip. That was the plain,
commercial truth.
So Miri let them go. She spat into the dust as they set off
along the crumbling cliff-tops to the landslip where they could
begin their descent. Spitting brought good luck for traders. Deals
were struck with a drop of spit on a coin or in the palm of the
hand or sometimes even on the goods to be exchanged. Spit
does better business than a sneeze, they said. So, if anyone had
dared to look at Miri, they could have taken her spitting to be
a blessing for their journey. But no one dared. They must have
known that she did not wish them well. They'd given her the
chance to change her life, perhaps. But inadvertently. No, Miri
despised them for their haste and cowardice. Her spitting was a
prayer that they would lame themselves, or lose their cargoes in
the Jordan, or have their throats sliced open by thieves, their
eyes pecked out by birds. She felt elated, once the uncles and
their animals had gone. Then she was depressed and terrified.
And then entirely calm, despite the isolation of their tent and
the nearness of her husband's death. She would not concern
herself with the practicalities oflife. Not yet. Women managed
with much less. For the moment she could only concentrate on
all the liberties of widowhood - and motherhood - which would
be hers as soon as he was dead.
It was midday, and Miri opened up the outer awnings of the
tent so that she could both clear the air of death's bad breath and
inspect the landscape for signs oflife. Did she expect the caravan,
already troubled by its conscience, to tum around for her? Or
was she simply fearful of the leopards, wolves and snakes which
were at home amongst these hills? She sat cross-legged in bands
of sunlight, next to her husband's wrapped body, her hand resting
almost tenderly on his ankles. He had a fading pulse. And he
was all but silent now. A whistling throat, that's all. He'd lost
the strength to shout. And he was cold. So was the inside of the
tent.
Miri stared into the distant tans and greys ofJudea, trying to
remember what she was required to do for him, what prayers,
what body herbs, what disposition of the limbs. She'd done her
duty in the night and tried to lure the devil out. But that had
failed. Her husband's body was a labyrinthine hiding place, so
full of caves and chambers that many devils could make homes
inside. What was her duty to him now? To call on all the gods
by name and ask for mercy for this man? To combat his illness,
like the perfect, patient wife, with oils and salves and kisses? To
find a stone and drop it on his skull? No, nothing that she
did would make a difference. That was the truth, bleak and
comforting. Her husband was unconscious and about to die, and
she should leave him to it. Let the devil do its work behind her
back.
5
Anyway, this vigil was exhausting her. She could not sit a
single moment more. Her child was strong and vigorous; it had
pressed its arms and legs against her hips so unremittingly that
within the past few months her pelvic bones had widened and
the nerves were trapped. Her buttocks and her thighs were
torments. She felt she had to move out of the tent or tum to
stone. This was the remedy. She would simply walk away - if,
first, she could defy the pain and stand up - and return that
afternoon to a corpse. It might be cowardly to leave a man to
die alone, but there was no one there to block her path. No one
conscious anyway. Musa couldn't use his knuckles or his fingers
or his heels against her now. He couldn't pull her hair to make
her stay. She laid the dampened cloth across his mouth - to keep
the devils in, perhaps? - loosely tethered the ailing donkey, and
staked the one billy amongst the female goats. Then, turning her
back against the flaking crown of the cliffs, she went off across
the level scrub towards the valleys and low hills in search of
well-drained ground and her husband's undug grave.
It would be hard, she knew, to bury Musa. Hard on the heart,
but harder on the fingers. For he was large. She would have to
take great care when lifting heavy rocks or tearing at the ground.
There were pans of soft clay along the valley beds where anyone
- a child even; a child would not resist the opportunity to make
its mark in clay - could crack a hole in the earth simply by
stamping. But the higher ground where Musa's body would be
safe from floods was biscuity like ash-fired pot. Underneath the
biscuit there were stones.
Miri hunted for a burial place with views across the salty
valley. It was not long before she'd found the perfect spot, an
open scarp, backed by low, coppery cliffs, pock-marked by many
caves and - it was spring - discoloured by the opposing red of
scrub poppies. The world from there would seem large and
borderless, she thought, and that would be appropriate for a
6
traveller like Musa whose excursions had been ceaseless while
he lived and who would soon find that death was large and
borderless as well.
It was a tender day for widowhood, warm and clear and
breathless. There in the sinking distance, two days' walk away
at most, was the heavy sea below Jericho, and then the cliffs of
sodium and brine, the careworn hills, the bluing heights of Moab,
and finally (because she could not think that there was any heaven
in this place) the rifting, hard-faced sky. It was clouded only by
the arrowed streamers of the spring birds, heading for the Danube
from the Nile.
What better place to pass eternity?
But for the living Miri it was hard. She felt large and borderless
herself So far her marriage - a few months old, and to a younger,
tougher man - was inflexible and empty, a fired pot, a biscuit
underlain with stones. At least, she thought, she could be more
eager and more dutiful with her husband's dead body than she
had been with his living one. She'd bury him with care, as deep
as possible. She wouldn't let him face into the view, throughout
eternity, across to Moab and beyond. She'd bury him face down,
as was the custom for a man who had no heirs (not yet; at least) ,
so that he'd copulate for ever with the earth and all his sons and
daughters would be soil.
She put her fingers on the ground, pulled loose the first of
many hundred stones, and tried to open up a grave.
The salty scrubland was a lazy and malicious host. Even lizards
lifted their legs for fear of touching it too firmly. Why should
it, then, disturb itself for human travellers - a pregnant woman
and the almost lifeless body of a man - no matter if they were
abandoned in the furthest of the hills beyond Jerusalem and with
none to tum to for some help and salutation except the land
itself? It would not, normally at least, have expended its hospitality
on them. It was undiscriminating in its cruelties. The scrub, at
best, allowed its brief and passing guests to stub their toes on
stones or snag their arms and legs on thorns. It sent these travellers
to Jericho in rags. Or it lamed their animals. Or, should they
spend the night with this hard scrubland as their inn, it let its
snakes and scorpions take refuge underneath the covers of their
beds.
Yet the scrubland welcomed Miri there, to its dead hills. It
gave its hospitality to her. And should she end up on her own,
she need not have much cause to fear the night, or hunger, or
the animals. It would use what little skills it had to make her life
more comfortable, to keep her bedding free from scorpions, her
skin unsnagged by thorns, her sleep unbroken. And if it could,
it would direct some rainfall to her tent or save her billy from a
fall or drive gazelles towards her traps. It would be the one -
hooded in a brown mantle - whose breathing twinned with