Promise Me Darkness (12 page)

Hurt squeezed my insides until I thought I would cry. I had given up my virginity — the one thing that I could never get back — for what? A best friend who thought it was all a mistake. A man incapable of loving.
What had I been thinking?

“What’s wrong?” Eva asked.

“Ryder is standing at the bar flirting with someone. Proving I was just an easy lay.”

“Forget him!” she yelled over the booming music.

If only I could.

~~~~

Eva coaxed me to start dancing and threatened me if I didn’t. I moved to the music but thought of Ryder. I scolded myself each time I scanned the crowd for him, hoping to see him heading my way. Praying to see him smile at me like he smiled at the redhead.

One song rolled into another. I never saw him. I cursed him silently. I raged at him for staying at that bar, flirting, smiling, maybe touching someone else.

I was just beginning to enjoy myself when a hand inched around my waist.

Damn, him! I will not be his plaything!
I whipped around, planning on giving him a piece of my mind.

“Hello, Maddie.”

A thread of fear slithered through my veins. My stomach dropped and my voice left me.

Ben stood next to me, a smirk on his face and his fingers tight on me. The smell of alcohol on him was overwhelming.

My limbs started shaking, making me feel weak. When I looked at him, I felt as if I was suffocating, gasping for my last breath. A cold chill raced along my skin despite the heat of the club.

He took a step closer. His clammy hands rested on my waist, feeling like weights against me. I managed to wrangle out of his hold and take a hasty step back. My heartbeat pounded loudly in my ears, making thoughts impossible.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Eva asked, pushing me behind her.

“I came to talk to her. Back off, bitch!” he snapped, snarling down at her with unleashed hate.

Eva’s eyes rounded with shock and her anger disappeared, replaced by fright. She was speechless as he pushed her out of the way to get to me.

“Ben, you need to understand that it is over between us,” I said firmly despite the trembling of my body.

“And you need to understand that I love you. I can’t let you go. I won’t.” Snatching both of my hands, he yanked me toward him. I tried to pull away but he held tight. His fingers bit into my wrists painfully, cutting off the circulation.

Panic flooded me.
Oh, God! Not again!
I struggled to break his hold but he just pulled me tighter against him.

“LET HER GO!” Eva shouted as she tried to pry his hands off me. He transferred my wrists to one hand and shoved her away again. This time she stumbled backward and almost fell.

Tears swam in my eyes from the excruciating hold he had on me.

“Ben, please let me go,” I begged.

“I can’t, Maddie!” he cried hoarsely, jerking me to him hard. "I can’t tear you out of my mind!"

I looked to Eva. I tried to send her a silent message to go for help. I had no idea where Ryder or Brody were but I needed someone. I couldn’t fight Ben on my own. Eva gave me a helpless look but I felt a glimmer of hope when she pulled out her cell phone and start texting quickly. I knew then that Brody or Ryder would be on their way soon.

Ben turned around and started to drag me off the dance floor. I dug in my heels, refusing to go easily, but he just tightened his hold on my wrists and yanked. My bones felt as if they were breaking under his strong hold.

“Ben, you can’t do this!” I cried loudly, frantically looking around for help. That’s when I saw Ryder and Brody.

The murderous look on Ryder’s face scared me as much as Ben’s crazed one.

“Get your fucking hands off of her!” Ryder roared, pushing people out of the way to reach us. His fierce eyes darted down to the bruising hold Ben had on me. If possible, Ryder’s expression became even more deadly.

Ben let go of me and threw his hands up in a nonthreatening gesture. But I doubted he was giving up that easily.

Ryder stepped between us, pushing me behind him with one hand pressed to my hip. He didn’t remove his hand but kept it on me, keeping me behind him.

As much as I hated to admit it, I felt safe now that Ryder was here. We might have messed things up between us but I knew he would protect me at any cost.

“I love her, man! Don’t keep her from me!” Ben sobbed, incoherently. “I love you, Maddie,” he wailed in grief, swaying on his feet.

“You need to get it into your shitty head that it’s over between you two!” Ryder said, taking a threatening step toward Ben but still standing rigidly in front of me, hiding me from any danger.

“Man, she doesn’t…”

“She’s mine now, asshole,” Ryder growled.

The sorrow suddenly disappeared from Ben’s face. In its place, I saw hatred so terrible that I reached out to pull Ryder back. He didn’t budge an inch.

“So she’s finally letting someone between those tight legs?” Ben asked, an evil grin splitting across his perfect GQ face.

“Shut the fuck up,” Ryder snarled between clinched teeth. I could feel the flexing of Ryder’s biceps under his shirt, wanting to throw a punch.

“You may have been the first but I’ll be the last,” Ben sneered. "The very last." Without a backward glance, he turned and disappeared in the crowd like an apparition.

Ryder’s fist clinched, ready to explode. When he started to push through the crowd, I knew he was going after Ben. What would follow would be bloody and leave some nasty bruises. Or worse.

Reaching out, I grabbed a handful of his shirt, stoping him.

“Ryder!”

Turning around, his cold eyes peered into my brown ones.

“Forget Ben. Stay with me,” I said softly, repeating his earlier words to me. The words I would never forget from that day in the bathroom. "Dance with me."

He threw one last glare into the crowd. I watched as the tension slowly ebbed out of him. The savage look on his face disappeared, replaced by a mask of cool indifference. Taking my hand, he led me to the middle of the dance floor.

Putting his arms around my waist, he pulled me close. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands.
Should I rest them impersonally on his shoulders or wrap them around his neck like I wanted to?
I decided to rest them on his shoulders. This was the same man who said we could only be friends.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked, moving slowly to the music.

“No. I’m…I’m okay,” I answered. But I was still shaky with fear.

“I should have been with you. I’m sorry,” he said huskily, his eyes burning down into mine.

I remembered the redhead he was flirting with. “You were busy.”

He looked at me sharply. “Hell, Maddie. You saw that girl talking to me, didn’t you? It was nothing. Trust me.”

“It’s okay, Ryder. You can do whatever you want.”

“Shit!” he said, frustrated.

I flinched at his harshness.

“Maddie, I’m doing what I want. I’m here next to you.” His hands moved to the small of my back and pulled me closer.

My heart raced as he looked down at me. Desire was evident in his eyes. I wondered if mine reflected the same.

We moved slowly to the song, swaying back and forth on the crowded dance floor. Ryder’s hands ran up my back, lightly caressing the skin exposed by the low back of my dress. Delightful shivers followed the direction of his hands.

“You said I was yours,” I said, remembering his words.

He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “You’re off limits.” His lips touched my ear, featherlight against my skin. “I feel guilty as hell for sleeping with you but I want you again, Maddie. I’ve been fighting it all day.”

My body heated with those words.

“I keep telling myself to leave you alone, that once was enough but I don’t think it will ever be enough. I need you. I need you under me. On top of me. In front of me. I just fucking need you.”

One of his hands moved to hold the back of my head. My lips parted as his mouth descended on mine, hot and urgent.

Flashing lights swirled above us. Couples moved around us. But no one existed but him and me.

We stood on the dance floor, our lips hungrily tasting each other. One of his hands reached down to cup my bottom. He pressed me against him, searing me with heat, proofing to me how much he wanted me.

“Scream at me. Tell me not to touch you again,” he rasped against my lips.

“I don’t want to,” I whispered.

Without another word, he took my hand and led me off of the dance floor. Pushing through the crowd, he led me to Brody and Eva.

“Can you take Eva home?” Ryder asked Brody, straight to the point.

Brody nodded, confused.

Ryder didn’t say anything else. He just led me toward the exit with my hand still in his.

“Wait, Ryder!” I said, pulling him to a stop when I realized we were heading for the door. “Where are we going?”

“I want you home. In bed. Now. I’ll be lucky if I can wait until we get there,” he growled, hungrily.

I was surprised my skin didn’t catch on fire as his scorching gaze slowly looked me up and down. I now knew what it felt like to be undressed with his eyes.

He grabbed my waist and yanked me closer. I landed hard against his chest.

“You look so damn sexy in that dress. I want to yank it up right now and have my way with you,” his voice said low. His hand moved down to squeeze the back of my thigh, pushing the hem of my dress up a little at the same time. Teasing me, taunting me to let him do his worst. Or best.

“And those legs…" His thumb ran lightly over the skin of my thigh as his voice rasped in my ear. "They are begging to be wrapped around my waist while I’m deep inside of you.”

I was new to this whole sex thing but
oh, my!
I could have had an orgasm right then and there. Instead, I blushed at the idea of him taking me again.

But reality rudely pushed its way into my mind, like a royal bitch that had to get her way.
What about us? Was I turning into his bed buddy? Here at his beck and call when he was ready?
I wanted to go back to the apartment with him and have a repeat of last night but I also wanted so much more.

I bit my lip with indecision. I couldn’t live with myself if I went willingly, ignoring what my heart said. Even if he didn’t want more, I did.

“What about us, Ryder?” He looked pained for an instant but I continued. “I need more than sex, you know that. I mean, I want you more than anything but how do we do this?” I asked, motioning between the two of us.

He blew out a frustrated breath. “Shit, Maddie, you’re killing me,” he mumbled, rubbing a hand over his face. “I…I just don’t know.”

Those three words — ‘I don’t know’ — broke my heart and a small part of my spirit.

“Okay, I get it,” I whispered, looking away. I couldn’t let him see how much this hurt.

He took my face in his hands, making my eyes meet his.

“No, listen to me, Maddie….”

I interrupted, putting a hand up to stop him. “I need a minute, Ryder. Just a minute.”

Before he could stop me, I turned and hurried away. To the ladies room. To safety. I needed to get away from him before I agreed to whatever he wanted.

Inside the crowded bathroom, I wet a paper towel and dabbed my forehead and neck. Brushing the hair away from my face, I leaned closer to the mirror. My face was flushed and I didn’t recognize the strange look in my eyes.
Was it desire or love?

I took a shaky breath and pinched the bridge of my nose.
How was I going to resist him at every turn and with every heated look or touch he threw my way? Was I that pitiful?

No. I was stronger than this.

Pulling myself together, I headed out of the bathroom. I could deal with him. I just needed to say no. N.O. Such a simple word but so hard to say to Ryder.

I scanned the crowd. People were packed together like sardines, making it impossible to discern one person from another. I had only gotten a few feet from the bathroom when someone tugged at my arm.

I turned around, expecting Ryder. My heart froze to find Ben.

“Ben! What are you doing?” I shouted over the music, trying to untangle myself from his arms.

“Maddie, why can’t we work this out?” he whined, jerking me closer.

Panic wiped all other thoughts from my mind. I went rigid with fear. Frantically, I looked around for help.
If I screamed would anyone come to my aid?

His fingers tightened. I tried to yank my arm free but he had a death grip on it. Bruises were already forming where his fingers dug into me.

“I love you so much. Please…”

“Ben! LET ME GO!”

He grabbed both my wrists and hauled me closer. I was now completely immobilized against him. Chills raised the hairs on my nape as his hand roamed over my back.

"I should have been the first," he snarled, his fingers crushing my wrists.

I opened my mouth to scream for help when everything changed.

The club shook violently.

The building moaned in protest. Lights flickered. The crowd stood frozen in confusion. Music continued to blare loudly but all talking and laughing had ceased.

An earthquake? An explosion? Oh, God! A bomb?
My mind went crazy with possibilities, dismissing each one as ridiculous.

My hands were still encased in Ben’s strong hold but I didn’t care. I was still trying to comprehend what was happening.

Suddenly, people started yelling. A few screamed.

The club groaned and the floor vibrated.

Then the place went pitch black.

Screaming. Pushing. Shoving. Blackness.

Chaos surrounded me.

I was blind. The blackness all–consuming.

I shook in fright. Bile rose in my throat, making me nauseous.

People rushed by me in the darkness, desperate to escape. Someone bumped into me. Ben’s tight hold on my hand kept me upright. When he yanked me toward him, I yelped with pain. It felt as if every one of my fingers were being pulled out of the socket. But I stood my ground as Ben tried to pull me again.

“COME ON!” he yelled when I wouldn’t budge.