Point, Click, Love (9 page)

“Because I wanted kids.”

“Hmmm.”

“It’s complicated.”

“I guess,” said Katie, trying to process this new information. “Do you miss her?”

“No. We broke up five years ago, but we’re still friends.”

“Really?” Katie never could understand why a person would remain close to an ex, unless they had children together. Did it mean that there was some unfinished business?

“I usually end up staying friends with old girlfriends. She meant a lot to me, but not anymore, not like that. I see now that she wasn’t right for me. Too selfish. And the kids thing. She wasn’t very nurturing. You know?”

Katie wondered if all first dates began with a lengthy discussion of a person’s ex. She hoped that Ed wasn’t going to ask her about Rob, since she had no desire to discuss him. Once their food arrived, Katie managed to steer the conversation to lighter subjects, like where to find good sushi in a landlocked state and whether Martin Scorsese was still at the top of his game.

After two cosmos, a glass of expensive white wine, six raw oysters, one piece of rare tuna, and lobster risotto, Katie was feeling good. She was surprised at how effortlessly the conversation flowed. And she was even more surprised at how attracted she was to Ed. Was it the drink? Or maybe the seafood? Whatever it was, she wondered if, when, and how Ed might kiss her.

After dinner, Katie led Ed to her parked car. “This is mine,” she said, wishing she had agreed to let Ed drive.

“I had a wonderful time,” said Ed, keeping a respectful distance.

“Me too,” said Katie. She could tell that Ed was going to be the perfect gentleman on this, their first date, but she found herself wishing he would grab her and kiss her passionately.

“All right, then. I guess, well, I guess this is it,” he said.

Katie could tell that Ed didn’t want the date to be over either, so before she could change her mind, she took him by the arm and pulled him close. Then she lifted her face to his and gave him a deep, openmouthed kiss. After about thirty seconds of kissing, she pulled away, looking him square in the eyes.

“Wow,” he said, smiling.

“I hope you don’t mind,” said Katie.

“Not at all.”

There they stood, once again, awkwardly wondering what would come next. And, once again, Katie knew it was up to her. “Why don’t I follow you to your house?” she said.

“That’s a wonderful idea.”

Ed lived in a historic neighborhood in a one-hundred-year-old house big enough for a family of six. It was all brick and dark wood and stained-glass windows, furnished with antiques and perfectly neat.

When they walked in and Ed closed the door behind them, they immediately embraced, continuing the passionate kiss from the parking lot. At first, Ed kept his hands primly on Katie’s shoulders, but after a few minutes he moved them down her sides. He left one hand on her butt and moved the other up to her breast. As he touched her, Katie felt a profound relief, as if years of tension she didn’t even know existed were escaping her body. She could have stayed like that for hours, standing there in the hallway, kissing, his hands moving up and down her body. But after a while he stopped and led her upstairs to the bedroom.

When Katie lifted her dress over her head and stood there in her black bra and panties, Ed seemed overwhelmed by the sight, as if he had never seen a beautiful woman in her underwear before. Ed took off his shirt, revealing a big, hairy barrel chest that Katie found thrilling. She liked Ed’s manliness, liked that he looked nothing like Rob.

Before Katie knew it, she was lying on a king-sized bed with Ed on top of her. She looked up at him, his balding head, his broad chest covered with graying hair, his flabby stomach, and she never felt more turned on in her life. She couldn’t believe how effortlessly he moved, how he knew exactly what to do. When Katie broke up with Rob—the only man she had ever had sex with—she worried that she’d never be able to have an orgasm with anyone else. After one and a half minutes with Ed, that fear was finally put to rest.

Katie smiled the whole drive home, replaying the scene over and over in her head. It was two o’clock in the morning, and she sped through the deserted streets with the windows open and the radio blaring. Ed had asked her to stay the night, but she thought
it best to leave, not wanting to risk losing the magic of the encounter to the morning light.

She fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, not waking until ten o’clock, when the phone rang.

“How’d it go?” asked a voice on the other end.

“Maxine?” Katie asked groggily.

“What? You don’t know me anymore? What happened?”

“Oh, God. I’m so … tired.”

“Are you hungover?”

“I don’t know.”

“So how was it?”

“Good. It was good.”

“Yeah? What’s he like?”

“Well, he didn’t look so much like his pictures.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I think they might have been old.”

“That’s weird.”

“But it’s okay. He’s very nice.”

“Did you kiss?”

“Um, yeah.”

“Did you do something else?”

“Um, yeah.”

“Katie?!”

“What?”

“What did you do?”

“We kinda … did it.”

“Oh, my God.”

“C’mon, don’t freak out. It’s not a big deal. I did it. So what?”

“Okay, so what?”

“I know! So that’s done. And he probably won’t call me ever again. Isn’t that how it works?”

“Katie, this isn’t an episode of
Sex and the City
. I’m sure he’ll call you.”

“Whatever. I don’t care. I’m just glad I finally did it! I feel so … relieved. You know what I mean?”

“Yes, I know what you mean. I think that’s great.”

“I know. It is great. And I don’t care what happens now.”

“Good. That’s a great attitude. I’m proud of you, Katie.”

“Thanks, Maxine.”

But as the day wore on and Katie picked up her kids and took them to the zoo, all the while thinking about Ed, she couldn’t fool herself any longer. She did care. She desperately wanted him to call that day, and she carried her cell phone in her pocket instead of in her purse, so she’d be sure to feel its vibration. By six o’clock, when there was still nothing, Katie decided she would have to forget about Ed and chalk up the experience to a good lesson learned: no sex on the first date.

When she arrived home and walked in the back door, she noticed the light blinking on her answering machine. Then she remembered. She had never given Ed her cell-phone number. He had only her home number. She rushed to the machine and pressed “play.”

“Hi, Katie. It’s Ed. I wanted to thank you for an amazing evening. Give me a call. I’d really love to see you again.”

It seemed that Ed was no game player, so Katie decided she wasn’t going to be one either. She called Ed that same night, right after putting her kids to bed. They talked on the phone for an hour and a half and made plans to see each other the next weekend, when Rob had the kids. Ed called again the next night and they talked for two hours. The next day, Katie came home from work to find a bouquet of red roses sitting on her front porch with a card that said: “Hope you had a wonderful day.” Rather than waiting for his call, Katie phoned Ed immediately to thank him. He told her he couldn’t wait until Friday night to see her and asked if she would meet him for lunch the next day. She did, and when
they were done eating they sat in Ed’s Mercedes and made out for ten minutes.

The weekend was filled with nonstop activity. They went to a gallery opening, a tapas bar with live music, a play at the university, and a cocktail party thrown by one of Ed’s coworkers. It was also filled with nonstop sex.

Katie was amazed at how in synch they were when it came to sex, how they always wanted it at the same time, how they both knew exactly what to do. There were moments when Katie wondered if she was getting too caught up in the sex, if maybe it was clouding her judgment. But then she thought, no, she really did like him. She enjoyed every minute of their time together, in bed and out.

Katie’s only concern was that Ed was going a little too fast. They talked every day. He sent flowers at least once a week. He gave her gifts—CDs, lingerie, small household appliances. Then, after only five weeks of dating, he said it.

“I think I’m falling in love with you,” he whispered while they were lying in bed.

Katie looked at him and, before she could catch herself, said, “Me too.”

She knew she shouldn’t have said it after knowing him such a short time, but it just came out. She wondered if maybe it was real. Maybe he did love her and maybe she did love him. So what was the harm in saying so?

After that, Ed started making references to their future together. He’d talk about trips they would take and cities they might want to live in one day. Once he pointed out the bedrooms that Frank and Maggie would take when they moved in. He even gave Katie a key to his house and the code to his alarm, telling her she should feel free to come and go as she pleased. Katie knew it was crazy, but she couldn’t see the harm in letting Ed fantasize. Who knew what would happen?

But all the talk had an effect on her. She had always vowed never to get married again, but listening to Ed and all his plans made her wonder if maybe she had been wrong. Maybe, with the right person, marrying again could be a good thing.

Katie and Ed had been together only two months before he came right out and asked her: “Have you ever thought about marrying again?”

“Actually, I was always pretty sure I never wanted to marry again,” she said.

“Have you changed your mind?”

“I don’t know. I think I’m more open to the possibilities.”

“You should always keep your options open.”

“It’s kind of strange to me that you never got married, Ed,” said Katie. “You seem like you’re the marrying kind.”

“I guess I am. But when you spend your prime marrying years with a woman like Jessica … I guess I missed the boat.”

“That’s another thing. I don’t get why you didn’t break up with her. Why you held on if she didn’t want any of the things you wanted.”

“I don’t know, Katie. I was wrong. She was wrong. In some ways, I kind of hate her for that.”

“And yet you say you’re still friends.”

“Right. But, gosh, I haven’t even seen her since we started dating.”

“Really? How often do you see her?”

“I guess about once a month we get together for dinner or something.”

“Well, I have to say I’m glad you haven’t seen her.”

“Oh, come on, sweetie,” said Ed, taking Katie in his arms. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. She’s nothing to me anymore. And, besides, I’m completely, madly in love with you.”

Katie didn’t really feel like Jessica was a threat. The more they talked about her, the more it was clear that Ed had nothing but
contempt for her. Once he showed Katie a picture of her, which further calmed any fears she might have had. Jessica was older than Ed by a few years—practically fifty. She had brassy, fake red hair, her eyes were too close together, and she was noticeably plump. Katie couldn’t find one appealing thing about her. When she wondered why Ed kept Jessica as a friend, she figured it must be because he felt sorry for her.

But what made Katie truly secure in her relationship with Ed was how they were always so happy to see each other, how they could talk for hours on end, how they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. By their three-month anniversary, the thrill was not only still there, it was stronger than ever.

E
very Thursday night at around nine o’clock, when Ed was sure Frank and Maggie were asleep, he’d call Katie to discuss their plans for the weekend. But that Thursday he didn’t call. Katie read in bed until midnight, then went to sleep.

The next day at work, Katie waited all day for the phone to ring. At four she decided she’d call Ed. There was no answer, so she left a message.

Usually, when Katie left a message for Ed, he’d phone her back within the hour. But this Friday, the day they were supposed to see each other after a week apart, she heard nothing. The kids were with Rob that weekend, so Katie went straight home after work. There was no message from Ed on her answering machine, no email in her inbox. At seven o’clock she phoned him again. “Hey, wondering where you are,” she said on her message.

By ten o’clock, Katie was in tears. She was sure something had happened to Ed. It was the only explanation. Surely he was lying dead on the side of the road. Or perhaps he had been picked up and taken to the hospital, but who would know to call her—the love of his life?

She woke the next morning at six, her eyes red and puffy, and she immediately dialed Ed again. “Ed, please call me. I’m worried.”

Katie went online, scanning the local news outlets to see if there were any reports of a fatal accident involving a silver Mercedes and a forty-six-year-old man. After two more hours of crying, she called Maxine.

“He must be dead,” cried Katie, not even trying to hold back her tears.

“Katie, I’m sure he’s not dead. There must be an explanation.”

“What? What is it?”

“I’ll tell you what,” said Maxine. “Why don’t I give him a ring? He doesn’t know me, doesn’t know my number. So if he’s there, he’ll answer.”

“He’s not going to answer for you,” Katie shouted. “Why would he answer for you and not for me?”

“I’m just saying, so we can rule things out.”

“Fine! So call him!”

Katie hung up and waited. One minute later, Maxine called back.

“Katie? Listen, I’m coming over there.”

“What? What happened?”

“Katie, he answered. He answered the phone.”

“I
don’t understand, Maxine,” cried Katie as Maxine cradled her in her arms. “I just don’t understand.”

“Me neither,” said Maxine. “It’s … it’s inexplicable. This happens to women. I know. I’ve heard of it before. Men who seem totally in love, and then nothing. They simply stop calling.”

“I’ve never heard of that,” said Katie.

“Well, I have. It happens. And no one has ever figured out why. We’ll never know what happened with Ed.”