Read Point, Click, Love Online
Authors: Molly Shapiro
Tags: #Fiction, #General, #Contemporary Women, #Online Dating, #Humorous, #Female Friendship, #Humorous Fiction
“Great!” said Maxine, who never missed the opportunity to point out Katie’s heroic reaction to divorce. “She’s amazing. She’s like the poster child for great divorces. You know, you really should write a blog, or a book. Why don’t you write a book, Katie?”
“Because I’m too busy being the best divorcée ever,” said Katie. “Anyway, I’m not going to have any time on my hands now that I’m starting to date.”
Katie hadn’t had a chance to tell Maxine in private and hadn’t meant to reveal her entry onto the dating scene to a larger audience yet, but she was so excited—and a little drunk on melon balls—that she couldn’t resist saying something. She also felt like she needed a good pep talk and maybe some advice on what to do. By Katie’s calculations, she hadn’t been on a real date since her junior prom eighteen years ago.
“What?” Maxine practically screamed. “You’re dating?”
“Not yet. We’re going out this weekend,” said Katie.
“I can’t believe it!” said Maxine. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It just happened,” said Katie.
“Who is he?” asked Annie. “How did you meet?”
“Online,” said Katie.
“What?!” cried Maxine.
“Oh, God,” said Claudia.
“What?” said Annie, giving Claudia a reprimanding look. “Why not?”
“What do you expect me to do?” asked Katie. “Go hang out at a singles’ bar?”
“I would have fixed you up,” said Maxine, a bit hurt. Because she was eight years older than Katie, Maxine often felt like she needed to take care of her friend. She regularly asked Katie if she could set her up with one of the single dads at her kids’ school. Last week she told her about a journalist who had recently separated from his wife of fifteen years. She thought Katie would have leapt at the chance to meet a writer, considering her interest in poetry and all, but she completely blew it off.
“No, thanks,” said Katie. “I don’t like the idea of getting fixed up. I really want to choose someone on my own.”
“I’m sorry for sounding so negative, Katie,” said Claudia. “I’m just a little anti-Internet lately. I think it’s great that you did it.”
“So who is he?” asked Maxine, ready to get over her feelings of rejection and support her friend.
“Well, his name is Ed. He’s forty-six—”
“Forty-six!” shouted Maxine, newly incensed that Katie was taking matters into her own hands. Clearly she had no idea what she was doing. “That’s kind of old for you, isn’t it?”
“An Ivy Leaguer. Went to Wharton for business school. Didn’t you go to Wharton, Annie?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t think they knew each other, Katie,” said Maxine. “He’s way older.”
“Enough about how old he is! Forty-six is not old!” Katie glared at Maxine.
“Sorry,” said Maxine.
“He grew up in L.A.,” Katie said calmly, sure that the rest of Ed’s résumé would win her friends over.
“Cool,” said Claudia.
“Works for some tech company. And he makes at least $150,000 a year but probably way more.”
“Do you know how much he weighs?” asked Claudia.
“He’s well toned.”
“Huh?” said Annie.
“That’s how they do it. Athletic, well toned, average …”
“So what are you?” asked Annie.
“Average,” said Katie.
“Average? You’re not average!” Maxine was often frustrated by Katie’s self-deprecation, feeling her friend had no idea what an incredible person she really was. For that reason, she didn’t trust her to choose a man who was sufficiently worthy.
“I’d rather he be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.”
“Are you kidding?” said Maxine. “This old coot hit the jackpot with you!”
“What does he look like?” asked Annie.
“Kind of professorish,” said Katie.
“I hope he’s not all stuffy,” said Claudia.
“No, I don’t think so.” Katie wondered if she had done the right thing by telling her friends about Ed. She was already feeling a little exhausted by the third degree she was getting. “Should I mix up some more melon balls?” she asked, trying to change the subject.
“Definitely,” said Claudia. “So you’re not going to get married again, are you?”
“No!” said Katie. “I just want to have sex. I mean, it’s been over two years, you know.”
“Wow,” said Claudia. “I hope you remember how.”
“Claudia!” said Maxine. “Don’t freak her out.”
“I’m kidding! Of course she’ll know how. It’s like riding a bike.”
“I think I might have forgotten how,” said Annie. “So much so that I don’t even want to do it anymore.”
“Really?” asked Claudia. “I mean, I can barely stand my husband and I still want to do it with him.”
“I know what you mean, Annie,” said Katie. “After a while, I forgot what it was like, and I didn’t miss it at all. Then, all of a sudden …”
“What?” asked Maxine.
“I don’t know. I started wanting it again,” said Katie. “It was like I remembered.”
“What reminded you?” asked Claudia. “Did you find a sex tape that you and Rob made or something?”
“Ha! No, it wasn’t Rob. I definitely don’t think about that. I think it was a movie I saw.”
“Which one?” asked Maxine.
“
Little Children
. With Kate Winslet,” said Katie.
“Yes!” said Claudia.
“You know, when she’s sitting on top of the washing machine and he’s just banging her, and you can see his cute little tushy going back and forth.”
“Oh, my,” said Claudia.
“I guess I could relate to that,” said Katie.
“Have you done it on top of a washing machine?” asked Maxine.
“No, but I do a lot of laundry,” said Katie.
“Maybe you could lure Ed down to your basement and reenact the scene,” said Annie.
“This is so exciting, Katie!” said Maxine. More than anything, she was happy that Katie was finally getting out, no matter who the lucky guy might be.
“Or pathetic?” said Katie.
“Are you kidding?” said Claudia. “We’re all jealous of you. You’re going to be doing it in the laundry room with some hot—”
“Forty-six-year-old,” said Maxine. “Oh. Sorry.”
“Yeah, well, don’t be jealous yet,” said Katie. “Anyway, I’m not the one you should be jealous of. Look at Maxine over here. Miss Perfect Marriage.”
“Oh, come on,” said Maxine. “Don’t start with that.”
“It’s true,” said Katie. “I’d be jealous of you if I wasn’t so happy for you.”
“Thanks, Katie,” said Maxine, feeling a little uncomfortable.
“Man, I want to meet your husband,” said Annie. “He sounds amazing.”
“He is,” said Claudia, with a touch of wistfulness. “There aren’t a lot of guys like Jake out there.”
Annie didn’t have to be told that. She knew there weren’t any perfect guys. In fact, she had her doubts about this Jake she’d heard so much about. She was skeptical that anyone could really be that wonderful, just as she was skeptical that Steve could really be that bad.
“Excuse me?” came a voice from the kitchen entryway. It was Lilly Weilander, one of the newer recruits to the book club. “People want to know if there are any more drinks left.”
“Of course,” said Katie. “They’re almost ready. Can I give you a refill?”
“Yes, please!” said Lilly, holding out her glass. “I know it’s wrong, but after a long day with the kids, sometimes a drink or two does take the edge off.”
“Whatever it takes, Lilly,” said Claudia. “Whatever it takes.”
Chapter Six
B
esides the fact that she hadn’t gone out on a date in almost two decades, over the past two years Katie hadn’t been to a wedding, a fancy dinner, or any other occasion that required her to wear a dress and makeup. So when her five-year-old daughter, Maggie, watched as Katie stood in front of the bathroom mirror in a tight-fitting black dress, her hair freshly curled and sprayed, carefully applying mascara, she asked, “What’s happening, Mama?” as if something momentous and terrible was about to take place.
“Nothing, sweetie,” said Katie. “Mama’s just going out to dinner with some friends.”
“Are we coming?”
“No, you’re going to Grandma’s house.”
“You look pretty.”
“Thanks, Maggie.”
“Is Daddy going with you?”
“No, honey. Daddy’s not coming.” By now Katie was used to these types of questions from her kids. It wasn’t as if they hoped their parents would get back together, it was more a curiosity about the boundaries of their relationship.
“Daddy’s never seen you like that.”
Katie stopped and looked at her daughter. “Yes, he has. He’s seen me like this many times.” On second thought, maybe the kids
were
determined to see their parents reconcile.
Katie regularly checked in with her kids about how they were feeling about the family situation. “So, how do you think this whole divorce thing is going?” she’d ask. Frank would immediately respond, “Good!” and Maggie would chime in, “We like it this way!” Sometimes they would list all the pros of having divorced parents, like two homes, two sets of toys, and being able to have a dog at Daddy’s house. But Katie wondered if they were simply giving her the responses that she so desperately wanted to hear. She wondered if her kids really did wish for a more traditional home life.
E
d had asked Katie if he could pick her up at her house but obliged when she said it would probably be best if they met at the restaurant. He had chosen one of the most expensive restaurants in Kansas City, a place Katie had never been before.
Katie was fifteen minutes early, so she told the hostess she would wait at the bar. She decided to order a cosmopolitan to help her relax. Because she hadn’t eaten the entire day, two sips were all it took to make her feel light-headed and happy. She told herself it didn’t matter what happened with Ed. The important thing
was that she had finally worked up the courage to go out on a date with a man.
She watched the door as couples arrived and were shown to their tables, until, promptly at seven-thirty, Ed walked in.
Katie recognized the piercing blue eyes and the ruddy complexion, but other than that he looked completely different than his online photos. He had much less hair a slightly bigger belly, and appeared shorter than the five foot eleven he had written in his profile. Still, he looked dapper in his dark-blue suit and pink tie, so Katie decided to overlook the discrepancies.
“You must be Katie,” said Ed as he walked over to the bar. He took her hand gently and gave her a light kiss on each cheek. He had a nice smile, and his eyes crinkled in a way that made Katie smile back. She decided to focus on those eyes, welcoming and seductive, and not too much on the balding head and protruding belly.
“You’re even more beautiful than your pictures,” said Ed, and Katie took the compliment happily, not caring that she couldn’t say the same to him. She couldn’t remember the last time a man had called her beautiful.
When Katie had first separated from Rob, she was so distraught over the collapse of her marriage that she couldn’t bring herself to eat. For weeks, she had to force herself to eat the minimal amount she needed to survive—a handful of nuts, a slice of cheese, an apple. Soon she found herself with a body as trim and light as the one she had in high school. Losing those extra pounds also gave her an abundance of energy, so she went to the gym regularly, which helped her get her appetite back. As a result, she was muscular, fit, and eating better than she ever had. She looked good, and her date with Ed was the first time she was able to take her new body out for a spin.
They were seated at an intimate table for two, a single votive
candle glowing in the center. Katie’s first cosmo worked so nicely, she ordered another when the waitress came around.
“So, Katie,” said Ed. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what are you looking for from Match.com?”
Katie hadn’t prepared for this type of question. She felt like a contestant on
The Bachelor
, being asked if she was “there for the right reasons.” Katie had a feeling that “needing to have sex” was not “the right reason” for a woman of her age to go on Match.com, so she figured she should say something more innocuous. “I don’t know. I guess I’m looking to meet new people.”
“Really?” asked Ed. “You could go to a church social for that.”
“Okay. I’m looking to meet single men.”
“That’s more like it.”
“What about you?” Katie asked, determined to move swiftly out from under the microscope.
“I’m looking to meet single women. But, to be honest, I always hold out hope that I might find ‘The One.’ ”
The One? Katie was a bit taken aback by this forty-six-year-old man with graying hair talking about finding The One. Having already found and dispensed with her first “One,” Katie no longer believed in that little fantasy. There was “That One,” and then there was “The Other One,” and maybe, if she was lucky, there would be “Yet Another One.”
“Good luck to you now,” said Katie, lifting her cosmo and taking a swig.
“Are you really so cynical?” asked Ed.
“Of course not!” said Katie with mock indignation. “Just because I spent my entire adult life with one man, thinking he was the love of my life, and now I’m a thirty-something on a first date with a guy I met online, why would I be cynical?”
“Come on, it’s not so bad, is it?”
“Nothing against you!” said Katie.
“Who knows, you might have some fun.”
“I’m sure I will,” said Katie, who was thinking that she was already having fun. “So what do you think, Ed? Am I ‘The One’?”
“Could be.”
“Really?”
“Why not? You’re beautiful, funny, smart. What more could a guy want?”
What more
could
a guy want? Katie wondered to herself. And yet she was sure that she was nowhere near any man’s grand ideal. “Maybe someone without two little kids at home?”
“The kids are a plus for me.”
“Then why do you think you never settled down and had kids?” Katie asked, not hesitating to get personal.
“My last serious girlfriend, Jessica, we were together nine years. She didn’t want kids.”
“So why did you stay with her for nine years?”
“Because I loved her.”
“Then why didn’t you marry her?”