Authors: Jamie Hill
"That is
not
why I'm 'with you'," Maddie said. "I just want to have some fun. College sucks, working probably sucks. I'm trying to find a little fun in my life. You attracted me with your smile and the way you were so friendly with everybody around you. Until I got too close, that is, because you haven't been very friendly with me at all."
"Well I'm sorry about that, Maddie, but you scare the bejesus out of me. I think you may want more than I have to give you."
"I'm not asking for a commitment. I just want to spend time with you, and have fun. You
can
be fun, you know, when you loosen up."
"But for how long? How long can this go on?"
She shrugged. "Until one of us isn't having fun anymore, I guess. Then we kiss and say goodbye."
"Sounds too easy. In my experience, real life is never that simple."
Maddie kicked her feet up on the coffee table. "I promise not to tie you down, or lay guilt trips on you. But don't ask me to promise not to fall in love with you, because a little bit of me has already done that."
"I have a gut feeling that this is going to end badly, Maddie. One of us is going to get hurt. Probably you, but maybe me."
She stood up and walked over to him. She sat sideways in his lap and said, "I can't see into the future, so I can't say for sure what's going to happen. All I know is that right now, I'm crazy about you and I think you're a little bit crazy about me. I want to spend as much time with you as I can. If I smother you, send me home, I guess. But just don't say goodbye. Say hello to the possibilities."
He looked at her. "You're right about one thing. I am a little bit crazy."
She smiled. "About me?"
He kissed her neck. "Nah, I'm wild about you. I'm just plain crazy for letting you talk me into this, whatever you call it…"
She whispered in his ear, "
Relationship
is the word you're looking for, unless that makes you nervous."
"Everything about this
relationship
makes me nervous. But somehow, I think you might be worth the risk."
"Halleluiah!" She kicked her feet up in the air. "I got me a man!"
He chuckled at her and shook his head. "Merry Christmas."
Maddie got a funny look on her face. "Christmas? Damn it! I don't want to leave now!"
He rubbed her back. "When are you supposed to go?"
"Tomorrow." She pouted.
"Can you call them and say you'll be home on Monday, instead? We could spend the rest of the weekend together and when I go to work Monday you can take off."
"I suppose." She snuggled into him. "Zoey had a great idea. She's going home for two weeks then coming back for intercession, this really heavy duty two-week class before next semester starts."
"Sounds like loads of fun." He lit a cigarette and took a drag.
Maddie took it from him and took a puff.
"Don't start that on my account. I've got you going in enough wrong directions as it is."
She shrugged. "I like the way it tastes on you. I just wanted to try it." She put it back in his mouth. "Anyway, what if I
say
I'm taking intercession and come back here and don't take it?"
He shook his head again. "Makes me so proud to sit around thinking of ways to put one over on your folks."
"Okay, okay. I'll come up with the sneaky ideas and leave you out of it. But what would you think if I found myself back here in January with nothing to do for two weeks?"
"Well, I'd think I have a week of vacation I need to use up, and I might as well use it then."
"Really?" Maddie's excitement bubbled over. "I think a week in bed sounds like the perfect vacation!"
Nick clutched his heart.
Maddie tossed her head back and laughed.
He put his cigarette out and wrapped his arms around her. "You might kill me girl, but what a way to go."
"Holy smokes, I think so too! So how about a weekend in bed right now? It's going to be a long two weeks until January."
He nuzzled her neck. "If I spend all weekend in bed with you, I'll need those two weeks to recuperate."
"It's a plan." She kissed him, and nudged her tongue toward his lips. "Kiss me, I want to taste you."
He obliged, and they kissed until they were both panting.
"What was I thinking?" he muttered, pulling away.
She looked at him, confused. "What?"
He took a breath. "I've got a hot eighteen year old who wants to keep me flat on my back in bed…and I had to stop and think about it?" He looked at her and grinned.
Maddie laughed. "You think I'm hot?"
"Sizzlin'."
"Wow." She put her head on his chest. "No one has ever called me 'hot' before."
He snorted. "No one may have said it, but I'll betcha lots of people thought it." He ran his hands down her back to her butt. "But then, nobody has ever seen you quite the way I have, now have they?"
She looked into his eyes. "No one," she said quietly, and kissed him again.
Maddie went home to
Hartford for Christmas. It was surreal to her, being there where everything was the same as it had always been, when she didn't feel like the same person. She had to borrow several sweaters from Zoey to hide the marks on her neck. She faked illness Christmas Eve to stay home from church because she didn't have a dress that would cover the hickeys.
She lay in bed and smoked one of the joints Nick had given her instead. She tried to call him, but he wasn't there. He said something about spending Christmas with his old man, but Maddie's head was foggy and she didn't remember. She curled up and went to sleep, with visions of Nick, rather than sugarplums, dancing in her head.
Christmas morning, her mother rapped on her door and stuck her head in. "Merry Christmas, Maddie! How are you feeling?"
Maddie opened her eyes. "I don't know, yet," she answered truthfully. Pot didn't cause a hangover like beer did, but it definitely messed with her mind.
"Put your robe on and come downstairs. We're going to open presents and have breakfast. That should make you feel better."
"Give me a minute," Maddie answered, and her mother shut the door.
Maddie went to the bathroom then put her robe on. It barely covered the marks on her neck, but she thought it would be okay. It would look more suspicious for her to get dressed, because they always did Christmas in their robes and pajamas. She ran a brush through her hair and ambled down the long staircase to the living room.
"Good morning!" Her father called to her jovially. "Feeling better?"
"I guess," Maddie said. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas!" he replied.
Maddie looked at her father in his big leather chair. He was tall and lean with thick wavy hair and a smile for everybody. He was in the insurance business, which meant he was a smooth negotiator and could usually manipulate things to his advantage. That was fine in the office, or on the golf course, but it was another story for Maddie at home. She was his little girl, his pride and joy, but also putty in his hands, because when it came to decision making power, she had none. He had it all. "Hi Daddy." She kissed his cheek.
"Sleep well?" He
smiled at her.
"Very well," she answered truthfully.
"I didn't," Maddie's brother Matt said as he came into the room yawning. "Too excited, I guess."
Maddie looked at him.
I could give you some Kahuna Gold pot that would knock you right out.
"Excited for Christmas? What are you, like, ten?"
He yanked at the bow tied around her waist which kept her robe closed. She clutched at the robe and gave him a dirty look.
He grinned. "At Christmas, isn't everyone about ten? As the man once said, it's the most wonderful time of the year!"
Maddie groaned and dropped into a corner of the sofa, retying her robe.
Her father looked at her. "You should help your mother, Maddie. She's bringing juice and croissants."
Maddie gave her father a "you're joking, right?" look and
Matt spoke up. "I'll help her." He went into the kitchen.
She watched her brother go, disgusted with his early morning cheer.
Matt, now he was the true Golden Child of the family, whether they realized it or not. He was two years ahead of Maddie at Yale, and enjoyed the traditional college experience. He was in a fraternity, the yacht club, and the National Honor Society. He was also blessed with the same bright, red hair that he and Maddie had inherited from their mother. But Matt's freckles covered his face while Maddie just had a smattering. He wore gold, wire-rimmed glasses which Maddie suspected would suit him later in life in the business world, but for now she wondered how he ever got anywhere with girls.
Matt returned, carrying a tray with juice and four glasses. Their mother followed with a tray of croissants. "Here we are," she announced.
Maddie watched her mother set the tray down and serve everyone. Usually, the maid did the serving, but she was given Christmas off. Meg was quite capable, though, and handled everything she did, from serving to planning a charity event, with style and grace. Maddie thought she was beautiful, with her long, flowing hair and clear complexion. The problem with her mother, Maddie thought, was she spent so many years with a domineering husband. Meg had learned to be controlling herself, so Maddie had it coming at her from both directions.
"Thanks, Mom." Maddie accepted a plate.
"Are you feeling okay?" Meg asked.
"I think so." Maddie wrapped her robe around her tightly.
"Then let's open presents!" Michael announced, and they did.
Maddie had gone shopping the few days she had at home before Christmas, and found a simple gold necklace she knew her mother would like. She chose a classic striped tie for her father, a clichéd gift, she knew, but he wore ties all the time and liked nice ones. For Matt, Maddie bought a book on yachting, which he seemed pleased with.
Maddie also purchased a black AC/DC 'Highway to Hell' t-shirt for Nick. The skull on it looked just like the tattoo on his left arm. They had agreed to buy one small gift for each other, and they would celebrate Christmas together on New Year's Eve. Maddie had to figure out how to get out of her parent's annual New Year's Eve party. She had a week to work on that.
Maddie received a mountain of clothes and jewelry from her parents. They were nice things, but not exactly the style she was wearing these days.
Matt gave her a 'Guide to Harvard' book with information and pictures of things around the campus. "Thank you," she said graciously, thinking to herself 'doorstop'.
When the gifts were unwrapped, Matt gathered up the wrapping paper trash while Maddie collected dishes on the trays and carried them back to the kitchen. She rinsed the dishes and loaded the dishwasher, as
Matt returned from carrying out the trash.
"Nice clothes mom picked out for you," he said.
"Yes, they are."
"Better than those ugly turtlenecks you've been wearing all week."
"It's cold out." She turned away from him but he tugged at her robe tie again and yanked the robe open. "Stop it!" She grabbed her robe around her. "You perv, trying to get a glimpse of something on your sister?"
"Just your neck." He grabbed her. "And look-it here, just what I suspected. Hickeys.
Jesus Maddie, a ton of them!"
"There is not." She closed her robe tightly. "Leave me alone."
He stepped close to her. "Are you
doing it
Maddie?"
"Oh, for God's sake, go away." She shoved him.
"Is it Alec? I'll pound that little jerk if I find out he's sleeping with you."
"It's not Alec," she insisted. "It's not anyone. Just leave me alone. I'm eighteen, for crying out loud, and if I wanted to
do it
, it would be none of your business."
"It might be Dad's business," Matt told her. "I don't think he's sending you to
Harvard to screw around."
She pointed a finger at his face threateningly. "Leave Dad out of this. If you say one word to him, I swear, I'll make your life miserable. And I can do it, too, brother. Make no mistake about that."
Maddie hoped something in the look on her face suggested he drop the issue.
He chuckled nervously and took a step back. "You better be careful. No one wants to marry a slut."
Maddie laughed. "Who said anything about getting married? And don't knock sluts 'till you've tried one. You might be surprised at what you're missing!" She left him with a shocked expression on his face, and went up to her room to smoke another joint and try on clothes.
Later that night, when her family was otherwise occupied, Maddie phoned Nick and he answered this time. "Yep."
"Hey, baby," she purred at him. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you, too. How's it going?"
"Not bad, thanks to the early Christmas present you sent along with me. It's the only thing that keeps me sane."