Playing for Keeps (43 page)

"Oh my God!" Maddie cried.

"Where were you?" her father stormed.

"Alec?" Maddie asked weakly.

"Alec is dead!" he yelled at her. "And we thought you were, too. Where the hell were you?"

Maddie felt numb. She took a step toward her father and then looked back at Nick. "You should go."

"Maddie, I want to be here for you." He looked into her eyes.

"I can't…" She wished she had been in the car. She'd have rather been dead than feel the way she felt at that moment.

"Maddie." Nick looked at her one more time.

Michael took Maddie's arm and said coldly to Nick, "You need to go." He pulled Maddie between himself and her mother.

Maddie glanced around at Nick one more time, and saw the distraught look on his face. She reached a hand out to him, as her parents shoved her into the back seat of their car.

Chapter Thirteen

Maddie and her parents arrived in Hartford late Thanksgiving night. Their car was parked at the airport, and Maddie drove them home. They saw Matt's car in the driveway, and
Meg started to say something to Maddie.

"I know," she interrupted. "I'm going to tread lightly. I'm here for you, and him, if he wants me. If not, I'll steer clear."

They nodded and went in through the back door. "Matthew?" Meg called, and he appeared in the doorway.

He looked exhausted and miserable, Maddie thought. He took one look at her and scowled. "What is she doing here?"

Maddie stepped forward. "Matt, I'm here to do whatever I can to help everybody through this. I'm not going to bother you or get in your way. I just want to help, if I can."

He turned to his mother and they both burst into tears. They hugged, and
Michael put his arms around them both.

Maddie took her suitcase and dragged it up the stairs. She flipped on the light in her room and looked around. The posters were gone, and some nice pictures hung in their place. The room had obviously been painted, but nothing else had changed. She looked at her dresser and noticed the picture of Rob and the kids she'd left on her mirror the last time she was there. It was framed and sitting on the dresser. Maddie looked at their beautiful faces. She thought about calling home but it was late, and she decided to wait until morning.

She put on her nightgown and scrubbed her face in the bathroom before crawling into bed. She shut off the lamp and snuggled into the covers.

A knock at her door woke her. It took her a minute to rouse, and to remember where she was. She hurried to the door and opened it.
Matt stood there, still looking distraught.

"I'm sorry to wake you."

Maddie looked at the clock.
Three a.m
. "It's okay. Do you need something?"

"Just to talk."

She looked at him. "I'm not going to argue with you, Matt. If you came up here to fight--

"

He shook his head, tears rolling down his face. "I don't want to fight. I just need to talk."

"Come in." She motioned to her bedroom, and he walked in. "This is such a horrible thing. I can't imagine what you're going through."

He dropped onto the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. "Marsha is inconsolable. The doctor gave her a sedative. She's been out for hours."

Maddie nodded. "It's probably for the best. I can't begin to know how she feels, but I was in a car accident last summer with my step-daughter, Sophie. She was fine, but I felt so awful afterwards."

"It wasn't your fault," he said in a hushed voice.

"No, it wasn't. The other driver was drunk and ran a red light. But I still felt horrible."

He looked at her. "Did you sue him?"

Maddie shook her head. "He didn't have anything. Rob and Sophie's mother tried to pursue it, she's a lawyer, but the guy had nothing. We finally just let it go."

"Marsha wants to sue the neighbor who hit Marcy. The guy's in shock. He didn't even see her and he feels awful. He was crying when the police got there."

"I'm sure he feels horrible. I can relate to him in a way. It's an extremely crappy feeling."

Matt looked at her, and then down. "Suing him is not going to bring Marcy back. Marsha acts like it will."

"She's traumatized. Give her time, she'll realize that."

He looked at her again. "How are we going to get through this?"

Maddie leaned against the wall. "Time. I know it sounds lame, but you just have to give it time."

"Did you get over what happened to Alec?"

She nodded. "In a way. You never forget. My God, the day after my car accident I turned into a royal bitch. I was so shaken up by it, not only by what could have happened, but also the memories it brought back."

"Must be some bad memories."

"Some of them. Some weren't bad."

He stood up. "You ran away from us, Maddie. You left us without so much as a note or a goodbye or anything. You just left."

Maddie faced him. "I was troubled. It was a really bad time for me. I knew I didn't want to be in college, and Mom and Dad wouldn't discuss it. To do things my way, I had to leave."

"Did you leave with that guy? The one you were with the night Alec was killed?"

Maddie looked at him. "No, I didn't. How much did Mom and Dad tell you about what happened after that night?"

"Nothing. They told me nothing."

"Hmmm." Maddie looked out the window. "That surprises me."

"They said it didn't concern me. All this time, I thought you ran away with him."

She looked into Matt's eyes. "I definitely did not. They broke us up for good that night. I never saw him again."

"Never?"

She shook her head. "It hurt really bad, too. I loved him a lot."

"We thought you loved Alec."

She rubbed her hands over her face. "No, I just used
Alec. He liked me, he let me use him, but I take the blame. It was my fault he was in that spot that night."

"It was an accident." Matt reached out his hand and touched her arm. "I've heard those words a million times today. I'm finally starting to understand what they mean."

Maddie hugged Matt to her tightly. "I'm so sorry, Mattie."

He sobbed while she held him. Maddie rubbed his back and let him cry. After a while, he wiped at his face and said, "I'm tired. I think I can finally sleep."

"Can I get you anything?"

"No, but thanks. Thanks for being here. I feel better talking to you." He tried to smile, but his lip quivered and he just looked at her. "It took a lot of energy to be mad at you. I really had to work at it."

She shoved his shoulder lightly. "Jerk."

He shoved her back. "I know you are, but what am I?" He walked to the door. "Thanks, Maddie."

"Goodnight, Matt." She got back into bed after he left. Her heart felt a little lighter. She tried to figure out what still weighed it down, but fell asleep before she could.

Condolence calls, flowers and food began pouring in the next day. Maddie tried to keep everything organized. The rest of her family still walked around dazed. Marsha had yet to get out of bed. Maddie took a minute to phone Rob before she got too busy.

"Hey sweetie," she said.

"Hey there, how are you?"

"I'm okay. How are you and the kids?"

"We're fine. We miss you."

"I miss you, too. It's creepy around here. People bring food, flowers get delivered, and everyone sits around in a fog. I haven't even met
Marsha yet. She's still in bed."

"How are things with
Matt?"

"We had a good talk last night. This accident has given him a dose of perspective, I guess."

"Good. Rotten way to get it, but good."

"I know what you mean. Well, I should go. I'm trying to keep things organized here. They're talking about Monday for the funeral, with a family visitation Saturday night. If so, I'll probably be home Tuesday."

"Keep me posted. I love you, Madison Cooper."

"I love you too, bestest husband in the whole wide world. I'll talk to you soon."

Marsha finally made it downstairs at noon. She and Matt had to meet with the funeral director at one, and Matt wanted her to try and eat something before they left. Maddie watched them in the kitchen, but didn't go in. She wasn't sure when she should introduce herself, but the timing needed to be right.

Marsha looked dazed and distraught like Matt. She had short dark hair, and was rather pretty. Maddie looked at all the family pictures in the living room. Both little girls had curly red hair and freckles. Melanie was five, she was told, and Marcy four. They were cute, but they didn't look like her kids at all. Even Stacie with the red hair looked definitely different than these two. Maddie ran her hand over a picture of Marcy, and touched her face.

"She loved clowns." Matt stood behind her and looked at the picture. "She was a clown for Halloween. She was last year, too."

Maddie smiled. "My whole family dressed like clowns for Halloween last year."

He grinned. "I'd like to see a picture of that."

"Rob won't let me show them. He says he must have been drunk to let me dress him up like that."

Matt nodded. "Did you dress up this year?"

"Yeah. Wizard of Oz characters."

"No pictures again?"

"Not of the scarecrow. The rest of us didn't mind."

He smiled at her. "I'd like to meet your husband."

"You will, when the timing is better. I'm afraid I don't have that luxury with Marsha."

"It's okay." He motioned to the kitchen. "Come in and say hi."

Maddie walked into the kitchen where Marsha sat staring at some toast.

"Marsha, this is my sister, Madison. Maddie, this is Marsha."

Marsha looked at her dully and Maddie tried to smile. "Hello Marsha. I've heard so many good things about you."

"Hello,"
Marsha finally said.

Maddie understood Marsha couldn't return the pleasantry. "Please know I'm here if there's anything at all I can do for you, or if there's anything you need."

"Thank you." Marsha stood up, shakily. "We should probably go."

"Yeah, okay." Matt took her arm.

Marsha looked at him. "Have you talked to Melly today?"

He nodded. "She's fine with your parents. Well, she's not fine, but she's doing okay. You know. Did you want to talk to her?"

Marsha shook her head. "Not yet. I can't."

"Okay." He got their jackets and led her out. "We'll see you later," he told Maddie.

She nodded. "Yes, later." She picked up the breakfast dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

Meg came into the kitchen. "Let the maid do that, Maddie."

Maddie smiled at her mother. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Come shopping with me. I need new dresses for the funeral and visitation."

"Okay," Maddie shrugged. "Matt and Marsha will be gone a while. I guess we could go."

"Matt told me you two had a nice talk last night."

"We did. I feel better about things. I think he does, too."

"Good." She put her arm around Maddie's shoulder. "So how are you fixed for funeral clothes?"

Maddie shrugged. "I have the one black dress."

"Let's see if we can't find you something new and pretty for the visitation. I bet you don't shop for yourself much these days."

"I can if I want. We have the money. We just don't get that dressed up at home."

"Well come on. I always liked shopping with you."

"Me too, Mom." Maddie smiled. She grabbed her purse and they left.

Later, Maddie remembered
why
she enjoyed shopping with her mother. Meg encouraged her to buy all sorts of things because they were cute or a good color or because they looked good on Maddie. She ended up with two new dresses, a casual pants outfit and a new classic wool jacket.

"How are you fixed for shoes?"
Meg asked.

"I'm fine," Maddie assured her, but they ended up with two new pairs and four pairs of stockings. "I never wear hose at home, Mother," Maddie said.

"Well, you'll need some this weekend."

"Four pairs?"

"In case of a run. Better to be safe."

Maddie thought about arguing but gave in, and gave in again when her mother insisted on paying for everything.

On the way home, Maddie said she needed to stop at a drugstore. She bought a pregnancy test and some sinus medicine. After she'd paid, she stuck the pregnancy test in her purse and left the sinus medicine in the bag as a cover.

"You feeling okay?" her mother asked.

Maddie showed her the medication. "It helps with my headaches."

Meg
nodded, and didn't say much. They got home and Maddie thanked her mother for all the purchases, taking everything to her room. She shoved the pregnancy test deep in a drawer to use first thing in the morning.

Maddie pulled boxes off the top, highest shelf in her closet. She found the one she was looking for, filled with old birthday cards and notes she'd saved. Tucked way down in the bottom was a scrap of paper with a name and New York phone number. She pulled the paper out and rubbed her fingers over it. Standing up, she tucked it into her wallet. She didn't know if she'd need it, but she might. After putting the box away, she glanced through a few odds and ends in her closet. Some day, when she was here with more time to spare, she needed to sort through all her old junk.

Marsha slept all afternoon and Matt spent a lot of time with his father. Maddie helped her mother in the kitchen for awhile, then tried to take a nap. She had a decision to make, and it tormented her. She couldn't rest, and finally got up. She decided to take the pregnancy test then. If she wasn't pregnant she wanted a drink. Supposedly the first urine of the morning had more of the pregnancy hormones in it so she didn't know if she'd get an accurate test result or not.
I can always take it again if I'm not sure.