I woke up Saturday morning with far more excitement than I’d felt in weeks. I’d been pushing myself harder than ever before. Middle-of-the-pack Cavanaugh was ready to move up a place or two. It felt good to know I had a shot of doing exactly that. It was a four-school track meet and I wanted to know if my preparations would pay off.
The starting pistol sounded and the 10,000-meter race began. Within twenty steps I picked an inside line and held my ground. I established my place in the pack and stuck to it. My leg muscles were loose with my fingers lightly touching my palms. I looked ahead, focusing on my goal. I sank into my rhythm quicker than I’d ever done before and let the outside world drift away.
At the halfway point, there were two distinct groups. I stayed slightly to the rear of the front one. More runners fell back as the race continued. Eventually, I felt the strain in my legs, but also their power. When the flag signaling the final four laps went up, I usually felt the wear and tear on my body, but not this time. I moved up a few runners and quickly counted six in front of me. I held my ground as the pace picked up slightly. Three laps, two laps, I was now in fourth position. I rounded the turn to begin my last lap. My legs, with a will of their own, kicked it into high gear. My fucking long legs, that I always hated, ate up the synthetic rubber track beneath my shoes. I made the last curve and gave an additional burst of speed.
I, Rebecca Lesley Cavanaugh, won my first college race.
The closest runner finished four seconds behind me. I accepted congratulations from other runners as we walked our cool down. I waved into the stands. My parents waited at the field exit and hugged my tall, sweaty body before I headed into the locker room.
“We’re so proud of you,” my father said.
I gave them both a kiss and turned to find Amanda literally jumping up and down with excitement. Lyle stood beside her with a huge smile plastered on his face. I hugged them both and looked up and past them to a semi-crowd about forty yards away.
It was Killian surrounded by college fans. I don’t think he saw me as he extricated himself from admirers and walked the opposite direction from where I stood.
“I need to get showered and then let’s celebrate.” My voice somehow remained steady.
Amanda and Lyle agreed, but my parents begged off. Lyle and Amanda said they’d wait for me. I stood under the spray of the shower and fought tears.
Why the hell did Killian come to my meet? I’d shed so many tears for him, but this was my day, my win, my success. I didn’t want him anywhere near me. I needed to move on with my life and find happiness without him.
At that moment, I wanted to fucking wring Killian MacGregor’s neck.
***
The bar was packed with college students, mostly athletes. I usually stayed away from the after-meet hangout, but Lyle and Amanda wanted me to have the full benefit of my win. I also decided to cheat this one night on my season anti-inebriety rule. Rebecca, the boring sister, tied one on.
“I think you’ve had your fair share of alcohol and we need to be leaving,” Lyle said.
“Yep, come on. Let’s get you tucked into bed, Rebecca,” Amanda added.
“Nope, you guys go on without me. I’m having fun.”
I’d danced with a tall, medium-distance runner, and was now sweaty and waiting for another drink to cool me off. My head spun, but I felt wonderful. I briefly wondered what I would do if a guy’s dick slipped into my face tonight. I stumbled slightly and Lyle steadied me.
“We aren’t going anywhere without you, Rebecca. You’re stuck with us.”
I giggled and threw my arms around him.
“You’re my bestest boyfriend.” I pulled Amanda into my hug, too. “And you’re my bestest girlfriend.”
Amanda hugged me back and said, “You are going to pay for this tomorrow.”
“Killian came to my meet today. Why do you think he did that?”
“Oh, honey.” Amanda sighed.
“Don’t. I’m not crying over that football turd again. He…he needs to just leave me alone.”
“Come on.”
Lyle pulled slightly on my arm, but I jerked away.
“No, I’m going to look for a dick for my face. You two go home.”
The room continued spinning, but I didn’t care. I saw my dancing partner and made my way to him.
“Wanna dance?” I asked.
This was the new me. Rebecca Cavanaugh, the winner.
“I got a better idea. Let’s get out of here.”
“I wanna dance first,” I pouted.
“Whatever the lady wants, but then I know a nice place you can relax and we can get to know each other a little better.”
“You’re on Mr. Tall Runner. I like a man I can look up to.”
He took me to the dance floor and spun me around, making my head whirl even more. The music changed and he brought me in close; his hand went to my ass and I imagined it was Killian’s. In my drunkenness, I also imagined his voice.
“That’s enough. Get your hands off her.”
My tall runner stopped dancing. I turned slightly and saw Killian. He didn’t look happy. I take that back. He looked furious.
The hands holding me disappeared and so did my dance partner.
“Why the hell did you do that?” I yelled above the music.
“Because your friend called and told me to come and fix my problem.”
“What problem?” I stumbled and Killian grabbed my arms.
“You, Rebecca. You’re my problem.”
I wrenched away. “I wanna dance and not with you. Go home with my friends. I’m gonna find someone taller than you to dance with.”
“Let’s go.” Killian grabbed my hand and started toward the door.
“No,” I shouted and pulled away.
The dancing stopped and people stared, but I didn’t care. How dare Killian rain on my happy parade?
I looked around for help. Before I knew what happened, Killian swung me up and over his shoulder.
“Put me down,” I screamed, but all I heard was laughter. I stopped thinking about everything else because all of a sudden I knew I was going to hurl all over Killian’s backside.
“I’m getting sick.”
I didn’t realize we were even outside when Killian sat me quickly on my feet. I turned away and vomited. He tried to pull my hair from my face, but even as sick as I was, I didn’t want him touching me.
“Go away,” I said between heaves while pushing his hands.
“I’m not going anywhere until you’re home and tucked into bed, Rebecca. Stop fighting me.”
“No.”
My liquor and bar food spewed to the ground. When my stomach finished heaving, I stood and tried to walk back into the bar. Killian grabbed my hand tightly, pulling me around to the other side of his car.
I went into petulant mode and crossed my arms as he tried to get the chest strap across my body. Killian jerked my arms down and buckled me in.
“If you remove the seat belt I will spank your ass.”
“I hate you,” I mumbled in absolute misery. My poor head wouldn’t stop spinning.
Halfway to my apartment, Killian needed to pull over again. He didn’t try to touch me this time, just waited patiently, buckled me back inside, and finished the drive to my apartment. I came to briefly when Killian carried me inside.
I don’t remember much after that.
I groaned and pulled the pillow over my head. My head hurt, my body hurt, but worst of all my pride was shattered.
I was afraid to open my eyes and find Killian in my apartment. I didn’t hear any noise, but continued to assess my surroundings for several more minutes. I finally removed the pillow and squinted into the daylight with one eye.
My poor, pathetic head.
My mouth tasted horrible and I thought I might be sick again. I scooted my legs around and slowly went to a sitting position.
Two pills, a glass of water, and a note rested on the bedside table.
Legs,
Take the ibuprofen, shower, and eat something. Get some rest today. I’m picking you up for dinner at six.
K
Over my dead body.
Killian MacGregor was not prancing back into my life.
My head pounded dully, so I took the pills because I didn’t really have a choice. I also spent an hour in the shower, which pissed me off more because it was exactly what the note told me to do. I managed to eat a piece of toast before falling back into bed. I slept for a few more hours and felt half-human when I woke up. I took another shower, though this one shorter, dressed quickly, and with an overnight bag hung across my arm, left my apartment.
Fuck Killian MacGregor.
Amanda let me in.
“If you call that son of a bitch, I’ll never speak to you again,” were the first words out of my mouth.
“It was Lyle who called him last night, so keep your panties on.”
“Lyle is off the best friend list for at least a week. I’m staying the night.”
“I’ll order pizza.”
My stomach rumbled unhappily. “I’ll watch you eat it.”
Amanda laughed. “You really tied one on last night, girlfriend.”
“I’m never drinking again.”
“Probably a wise move.”
We watched all the Jason Bourne movies and lusted over Matt Damon. Movie boyfriends and book boyfriends were the way I planned to go for the rest of my life.
My phone rang at seven, but I ignored it. Before we went to bed, Amanda sat with me while I put Killian’s message on speakerphone.
“Hiding won’t work, Legs. We need to talk.”
Short, sweet, and to the point.
Too damn bad!
“Do you plan on calling him?”
“No.”
“You know you love him, right?” Amanda showed me her sad face.
“I know, but I can’t go through that again. I’ll get over him eventually,” I lied to Amanda and myself.
I tossed and turned the entire night. Amanda dropped me at my apartment early so I could get my morning run in. I hadn’t packed my gear or I would have run to my apartment. I put on my shoes, tied the laces, and did a few mini-stretches. Closing the front door behind me, I turned and ran directly into Killian’s chest.
His arms came up and he brought me in close. He felt so fucking good, but I pulled back.
“No, Killian. I’m not speaking to you. I’m not listening to you and I’m not going anywhere with you.”
He released my arms. I turned and set off at a faster pace than normal. I heard Killian’s shoes hit the pavement behind me. He was dressed in running clothes. I ignored him or at least tried. He made it to the same soccer field he had the first time before his steps faded into the distance.
I went to class and then practice. My coach took me aside.
“You know you’ve always been capable of winning, Cavanaugh.”
“Well, maybe.”
“No, completely capable.”
What could I say?
“I plan to work you harder than you’ve ever worked. You’re in a position to help this team and we need seniors to stand up and take the lead. You did that at the meet.”
“Thank you, sir.” I walked back over to my teammates.
The next morning, Killian was waiting outside my door again.
I ignored him.
It pissed me off that he was ruining my peaceful morning runs, but I refused to acknowledge him in any way, even if it was only to tell him how I felt. He made it farther, but I still left him in my dust.
Wednesday morning, the same thing. I was leaving the following day for an out-of-state meet. I was determined to make it silently through my run.
“How long are you going to keep this up, Legs?”
I stopped and turned. “Stop calling me that, stop following me, and please just get out of my life.” I turned and started running again.
“No.”
Killian made it an entire extra mile before he stopped.
I thought he might show up that night at Tillomans, but, much to my relief, he stayed away. I didn’t run the following morning because of the road trip and couldn’t help wondering if Killian waited for me to come outside. I left my apartment at ten in the morning and felt a sense of relief when the bus pulled away. Killian had me on edge and I needed to relax.
The meet was only between two teams, and the other college was smaller than ours. I’d placed fourth against them the year before and thought I had a decent chance of performing well this time. Fourth was my best run last season.
I was wrong. I didn’t place well; I won. My long legs had finally decided to do me proud. It was a heady feeling and would have been perfect, but Killian stood outside the visiting locker room when I walked out, a few of my teammates by my side. Their eyes got huge when they looked from Killian to me.
“This is stalking.”
Killian showed his killer dimples, but I wasn’t impressed. He had no shame.
“This is love.”
The ladies around me giggled and I wanted to groan and kick him in the nuts.
“Go away, Killian.” I turned and walked away.
“Never, Rebecca.”
I flounced onto the bus. We were staying in a hotel not far away and heading back to Phoenix the following morning.
“Did you just turn down Killian MacGregor?” one of my teammates asked.
“Yes, and it’s not the first time.”
“Is he really stalking you?” another asked.
“Yes, and it’s not the first time.”
More giggles released inside the bus.
The team left me alone after that. Unfortunately, I wanted to do nothing more than cry. My roommate went out for dinner and I begged off. I ordered a light meal from room service and flipped through channels until a soft knock sounded at the door.
I didn’t bother looking out the peephole, which was terribly stupid because Killian walked inside as soon as the door opened.
“Don’t do this, Killian, please, I…”
That was as far as I got. Killian’s lips slammed into mine. He wasn’t gentle. My breathing accelerated within seconds. His mouth, the taste of him, his tongue… I was home and the deep ache I’d carried with me for more than a month dissipated. His hands went to my breasts and I groaned into his mouth. He pulled my bra and shirt over my head. My pants fell to my feet within seconds. Killian lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his hips. He hadn’t taken his pants off, but his cock was untethered and poised to enter. He looked at me and slowly slid inside.
God, I missed this. I missed him. Him and all his messed up ideals about winning.
He fucked me against the door. I didn’t think about the bruises he would leave on my hips or the large hole in my heart. The steady in-and-out slide of his cock was my entire world. And his eyes. Their intensity pierced me as deeply as his dick slid inside me.
My pussy tightened and that overwhelming achy feeling of need refused to settle. It built—deep, mind-blowing heat. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I dug my nails into his back, through his shirt, wanting to feel his flesh tear. I tried to kiss him, but he refused to stop watching me. My head tipped back and I screamed.
When I could finally take in my surroundings, I was on the floor sitting in Killian’s lap. He ran his fingers through my hair and all my pent up emotions released. I started crying.
“Shh, baby. I’m sorry. You don’t deserve an asshole like me, but I can’t stay away. I love you.”
I clenched his shirt into my fingers and balled my eyes out.
Finally, Killian moved me off his lap and stood, pulling me up beside him. He settled me into bed.
A knock sounded on the door.
“That’s my dinner.”
“Good, you need to eat.”
Killian opened the door, took the tray, and brought it back over to the bed.
“Where’s your roommate?”
“She went out to dinner and then probably a nightclub. You shouldn’t be here; it’s against school rules.”
“I like breaking rules.” He smiled so tenderly I almost started crying again. “But I’ll leave as soon as you eat. You’ve lost weight and I don’t like seeing you like this baby.”
Killian removed the cover of the two dishes and smiled. I’d ordered the largest hamburger they had, which came with French-fries, and I added a side order of fries. I needed my calories after the race.
He sat on the side of the bed and watched me eat the burger.
“Have some fries,” I mumbled through my food. I was hungrier than I’d been since Killian dumped me.
He took a few bites, but soon started feeding me. He’d roll a fry in catsup, just the way I liked, and put it to my lips.
“I’ve missed you, Rebecca.”
“I’ve missed you, too, Killian.”
He didn’t say anything after that. When the last fry was gone, he wiped my lips with a napkin, kissed me tenderly but quickly, and walked out of the room carrying my tray. I rolled over to my side and wondered what the hell I was going to do. I didn’t have enough willpower to resist him and didn’t think any woman could. If there was an anti-boyfriend pill, I’d spend all my bar jar money to buy one. Killian would break my heart again and I didn’t think I could survive.
Someone needed to put me out of my misery.