Past Heaven (37 page)

“Hey there.” My voice was flat, and I kept my eyes on the horse. Reynolds’ brow furrowed. He reached over to grab my hand, but I pulled away, lowering it as naturally as I could to my side.

“Reyn, look behind you. Photographers,” I whispered, and he turned around, seeing them right away.

“
Bastards
. Trying to get a photo op with me and the boys. We have to be extra careful this weekend. They’re everywhere around the set.” He didn’t look pleased but neither of us was disillusioned. He shook his head, focused on the fence between us. We had planned for issues with the paparazzi.

I stared straight ahead, not making eye contact, unaffected by anything he had just told me. “Right, I’ll get the boys in a few minutes and head back to our hotel. Thanks for the tour and the horseback riding. I’m sure the boys had a great time.”

“What’s wrong? You sound odd.” Reynolds also stared straight ahead. He looked defensive. Maybe he was hiding something. Maybe this distance had done him some good and shown him that while he loves this family life thing, he’s perfectly fine in the Hollywood world.

“Nothing, I got a chance to get to know Madeline better.” I forced a smile. “She told me how much time you both spend together rehearsing your scenes. Sounds nice.” A hint of sarcasm escaped and I straightened.

“And, what, Liz? We play a married couple. Of course we’re together a lot. I’m an actor. C’mon, you know this,” Reynolds snapped. “What did she say?” he asked, his tone sharp.

“What do you think she said? She loves kissing you, thinks you’re fucking hot as shit, and she’s falling for you. Evidently you two have chemistry like no other. And I don’t mean on set. She’s not talking about just
acting
. Are you startled by this?” I whispered back with venom as we both continued to stare away from each other.

“Christ, is that what she said? Either she was testing your reaction, or she’s fucking clueless. I’ve been
acting
with her, playing the role of Jack who is hopelessly in love with Liz. Believe me, I feel nothing for Madeline. I promise you. I haven’t been flirting or leading her on. She’s just another actress who thinks every movie should produce a tabloid headlining couple to increase the hype.” Reynolds’ hands shook as he fought to control his emotions.

“Reyn, I understand if you find someone else better suited to your lifestyle. Even if it’s Madeline or Kylie.” I blinked back tears and swallowed the lump in my throat as I said the words. The complete ridiculousness of this moment hit me. We stood on opposite sides of a fence, not able to make eye contact as photographers watched and waited for a possible break in our passivity. All the while, we conducted an immensely personal conversation.

This day had turned out to be just freaking fabulous.

He gripped the fence and looked like he wanted to snap it in half. Reynolds narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth as he spoke. “Excuse me? What did you just say about Kylie?”

Who the hell was he to be pissed? I was the one who looked like an idiot here. I knew nothing about Kylie visiting the set and had to find out about it from the beautiful, bitchy actress who had a huge crush on Reynolds.
Please
.

“Madeline filled me in on Kylie’s visits to your set. She mentioned how much time the two of you spend together. Alone in your trailer. And how energetic you seem to be after that time together.” I looked up to find him staring at me with wide, panicked eyes. “I feel like such a fool, Reynolds.” My voice cracked on the last words, and Reynolds closed his eyes as if he was in pain.

“I should have said something before you came out here.” His voice was flat, and I whipped my head up, as he covered his mouth with his hand. My heart dropped into my stomach.

It was true.

I shook my head before I even heard his last words, willing my brain not to process them.

“Kylie has been here twice to see Madeline. They’re best
fucking
friends.” Reynolds spoke through gritted teeth, his face once again void of emotion. “I didn’t tell you because I was hoping Madeline could stay professional. That isn’t happening. I haven’t spoken to Kylie or been alone with her for one minute. It’s a lie. Everything she said is a lie to hurt us.”

I couldn’t look at him. I needed a minute to compose myself. The muffled sounds around us were a constant reminder that we were being watched. Any extreme emotion would sell millions of tabloid articles about us and potentially hurt my boys and this film. I had to keep myself in check.

“Say something.” Reynolds’ plea was whispered, but the hurt in his voice was deafening. “Say you believe me. Say you trust me. Say something.”

I cleared my throat, and took a breath. “If you tell me nothing happened with either of them, then I believe you, but my original point remains the same. If you change your mind…if you want to be with someone else, just tell me, and I’ll understand. Don’t let me find out the hard way.” This time I didn’t look down, and I didn’t feel like crying. I meant every word I said. His happiness meant more to me than my own.

“You still don’t get it, Elizabeth, do you?” Reynolds clenched his hands together. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re everything I need. I’ll never cheat on you, never stray.” Reynolds swallowed loudly, and I let myself register the depth of love in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I started doubting everything. I want to jump into your arms right now, and I can’t even touch you. I hate being watched and studied all the time by the press. This really sucks, you know?” I gave him a half-hearted smile as he chuckled.

“Hell yeah, it sucks, but there’s no way you’re getting on that flight tomorrow without me kissing you. I still can’t decide where I can safely do it, but I’ll figure something out.”

We walked to the barn side by side, unable to hold hands or even allow our arms to brush against each other. Regardless, the air around us hummed with our energy. Madeline Montgomery knew nothing about chemistry. This was electric.

“Liz, open up.” Reynolds knocked on the bathroom door as I dried my hands with a paper towel. Reynolds looked at me with a smirk when I opened the door.

“What are you doing?” I gasped, smiling giddily, as he locked the door behind him. We had just finished a wonderful dinner with the boys in the private dining room of a local upscale steakhouse.

“This is a private bathroom for only our dining room. Tim is hanging with the boys. I’ll behave, I promise. I just need this one thing.” Reynolds grabbed the back of my neck and lowered his face to mine. He met my lips with desperation.

Kissing Reynolds was completely unique. I missed it like I would miss air, food, or water. I sighed into his mouth and ran my hands through his hair. Lasciviousness raced through me, and I shuddered from the intensity of my urges.

He pulled back to look at me. “Do you know how it makes me feel when you shudder like that? Do you know what you do to me, Elizabeth?”

Giggling, I kissed him again before pushing him back abruptly. “Why do you call me Elizabeth whenever you…are…well…feeling
interested
in me?” My face flushed with embarrassment. I was almost forty years old, but I didn’t know how to say it. I couldn’t say, ‘when you want to have sex.’ I couldn’t put it out there like that.

Reynolds chuckled and placed a tender kiss on my forehead before bringing his lips to my ear. He lightly bit my earlobe, and I sucked in a breath. Heaven help me, how I wanted him. “I’m always
interested
in you.” His voice rumbled, and my core clenched as I listened to his words spilling into my ear. “I call you
Elizabeth
when your presence has worked me into such a state that I want nothing more than to find the nearest bed—or fuck, even a wall—and take you. You’ll notice it happens a lot because that’s what you do to me. Your words, your scent, every part of you makes me hard as steel. So all I can do is call you by the name that reminds me that you’re mine. I love that almost no one else calls you by your full name. But I do. I’m also the only one who can have you like that. Do you get that,
Elizabeth
?”

I was panting, clutching his shirt, and willing my rioting body to calm down before I dry humped his leg. Damn, he put it out there. I think he loved to torture me this way.
Well, two can play at that game, Hollywood.
I reached down and let my hand rub against him as I whispered, my lips pressed to this throat. “Oh, yes, I think I can tell.” Looking up, I gave him my best evil, tempting smile.

He pulled my wrist away. “Ah, fuck. Can’t happen. Won’t be able to stop. Go.” I laughed at his obvious discomfort and inability to communicate clearly. Of course, revenge wasn’t so sweet when we both walked away worked up and unsatisfied. I pushed my lower lip out in a pout, and he kissed me again.

“You leave first, you seductress. Just wait until we’re alone the next time. You won’t get away so easily.”

I laughed as I opened the door and turned around to whisper, “I can’t wait. I’ll be thinking of nothing but that when I’m alone in my bed at night. Thinking of that sexy mouth on me, those hands on me, your…” I looked down at his hardened bulge and blew him an air kiss as I left. I heard him curse and hit the wall as I headed back to the dining room. Our encounter did nothing to help my physical ache for him, but just that time together would help tide me over until I could see him again.

LIZ’S FORTIETH BIRTHDAY was on May tenth. After being a gigantic ass and missing the anniversary of Jack’s death, I was determined that she wouldn’t be alone on any important dates again. With the movie being almost finished, I couldn’t get away for the entire weekend. I managed to make up a story about a family emergency in Philly, and I got a twenty-four hour reprieve. I rented a private jet so I could get out of Montana and to Maryland as fast as possible. With less than twenty-four hours, I needed every minute to count.

Flying in the early morning hours, I watched the sunrise and thought about my Liz. I planned to arrive while she was alone, so no one would know about our encounter. We didn’t have nearly enough time, but at least we had something. I wanted to fulfill her every wish, and I wanted to give her everything I had. Of course, she didn’t ask me for anything or tell me any frivolous wishes.

Liz was uncomfortable with over the top gifts and the benefits of my money. She and Jack had lived their lives to serve others and never focused on material wealth. Giving her only a necklace for Christmas was almost impossible, but I knew she cared more about the message of her gift than the actual gift itself. She didn’t need or want materials. I came with a lot of the trappings of wealth. Hell, I enjoyed it. I wanted to share it with her, but I had to ease her into my life. I needed to show her that I would spoil her, not with material items, but in ways that made her feel completely desired and loved.

Driving through the countryside of northern Baltimore, I felt more at home than any other place I’d been. My heart rate sped up as I pictured surprising Liz, but my brain slowed down and relaxed as the peaceful scenery surrounded me. Living my days both calm and passionate were how I wanted to spend the rest of my life.