Out There (19 page)

That one almost made me cry, but I didn't. The one I did cry at went like this:

‘Katelyn was my friend. No, she was more than that, she was the person that listened when I wanted to talk, that spoke when I was too shy, that surprised me on my birthday, and that made every minute I was with her special. I love you Katelyn.'

I looked over at Bri who was staring at her lap. A tear rolled down her cheek and fell on to her pale palm. She brushed it aside and looked back up at the stage. Soon my own eyes were watering and I felt the waterfall pour down my face. I was so choked up that I almost missed as they read out mine.

Sylvia Carter was the one who read it, “‘I have too many memories of Katelyn to give them all and they are all too special to choose one. I once told her I loved her because she said the deepest things, but they were so deep that I didn't understand them, and when I asked what they meant she always said that if I figured it out for myself it was better for me. But the truth is that I loved her for many more reasons, too many to say them all. I loved that when she sang everyone would stop to listen. I loved that for her everyone and everything else came before her own needs. I loved that she knew me so well it was like she knew me better than I knew myself. I loved that she trusted me no matter how insane I sounded. I loved that she didn't just laugh with her voice but with her heart. I loved that her eyes were so honest that she didn't even need to speak for me to know what she was thinking. The one thing I never got to say to her was goodbye. And that's what I love the most. We'll never say goodbye. She'll be here forever.'”

There was a silence. Sylvia Carter seemed so astounded by what she just read that she couldn't continue. I saw Mother staring at me from across the crowd, she looked so sad. Even my friends were staring at me. My face seemed to burn and I tried desperately to distract myself. Then Bri reached over and squeezed my hand, just like Katelyn did so many times. She smiled at me.

“Um, continuing…” Sylvia cleared her throat and read out the next one and the next.

Then, some four or five hundred commemorations later, Mother took the stage one final time. “Now would each of you please go and choose one flower from around the park, any one you like, and then bring it and put in the giant vase at the foot of the stage. It will then be put in the city square outside the Town Hall for the next week to honour Katelyn. After you put in your flower you may leave or stay and chat with friends, and everyone has the day off today. Thank you.”

Everyone stood to gather flowers and I saw the Council members do the same.

“Should we go?” Lexi asked.

“Sure.” I nodded and the four of us stood and walked over to the flower displays.

There were hundreds of different ones and the entire city was buzzing around the sections looking for their favourites. Some people chose quickly, instantly picking a beautiful plant and making their way back to the vase. Others took their time to enjoy the flowers along the way. I noticed some women having trouble deciding which one was the best.

We all walked down the path between the overflowing collections. Jade stopped and slowly plucked out a dark red flower. The petals were folded inwards and it hadn't bloomed yet.

I knew what she was thinking: Katelyn died too young to shine. Therefore she chose a flower that hadn't bloomed. But what Jade didn't know was that Katelyn had shone so hard the sun was jealous.

“I'm going to put this in. I'll meet you all back at the stage.” “OK.”

She ran off and the three of us continued looking. Lexi walked over to the bright yellow daffodils which matched her dress and admired them all, eventually choosing the best one.

“What do you think, Ava?” She looked at me expectantly.

“Katelyn would have loved it.”

She smiled. “Good.”

Bri came over and said, “I found mine.” She held out a small blue flower with five blue petals and a yellow centre.

“It's beautiful, what is it?” I asked.

“A forget-me-not.”

I flinched inside.

“So what did you get?”

“I haven't found one yet.”

“There are some nice ones over there,” said Lexi, pointing at a bright coloured section where several people were milling around.

I scanned the park and saw a smaller section by the edge with barely anyone there and said, “I think I'll go this way.”

“OK, we'll wait for you here.”

“Thanks.” I turned and walked over to the section I had spotted.

As I passed other people walking back to the vase, I noticed a lot of roses. Typical – her name was Katelyn Rose so clearly a rose made sense. Truth be told, nothing reminded me more of Katelyn than a light pink rose, gentle and fair. But it was the kind of flower that people chose if they didn't know her well.
Let me get a rose for the Rose girl
. But I wanted a unique flower, because that's what Katelyn was to me.

After five minutes of walking, I reached the small gathering of flowers by the end of the park. Everyone had left that area and I was left alone to admire the flowers. Not many people came to this section because it was too far away for them. But it was far more beautiful. The plaque in the ground read
Rare Exotic Flowers: these flowers have been preserved from different countries before they were destroyed
. Perfect.

I circled the section several times to breathe in the fresh scents of each type. Then I found the one I wanted. It was small, like Kay, but it burst into a huge bloom. The petals were almost a golden colour and they curled at the ends like a ruffle. The centre was light pink and it gently faded as it stretched further out. As the wind brushed the gentle flower it glowed and I could just see Katelyn in it.

Carefully, I pulled it from the ground and walked back over to Lexi and Bri. “Ready to go to the vase?” I asked.

“Did you find a flower?”

“Here.” I held it up.

The two of them gasped and said, “It looks just like her.”

“You mean because it's gold and she had blonde hair?” I raised my eyebrows.

“No,” Bri said and looked up, “I can see her laughing when it sways. It looks like her heart.”

I felt something warm and soft inside seep through me. “You're right Bri, it does.”

We all walked back to the vase, which by then was almost full of flowers. It was a jaw-dropping display of colour. Katelyn would have loved it. Together we put in our flowers. I placed mine in the heart of the vase and even though it was shadowed by the bright and vibrant flowers surrounding it, I could still see it shining through.

“There you are,” said Jade as she joined us by the vase.

“Sorry, we went to the further part of the park,” Bri explained.

“No, it's fine. Do you want to sit?” She pointed at the empty row at the back of the collection of chairs.

“Sure.”

We all went and sat down and I noticed most people were all talking at the front by the stage. There was barely anyone around us.

“That was really nice,” Bri said.

“Yeah, I didn't remember what these were like,” I said, pulling at the hem of my light blue dress.

“It's strange to think that we'll all get one too,” Lexi said.

“Yeah.”

We all sat there silently searching for words.

Finally I broke the silence, “I'm scared.”

They all looked at me. “About the procedure?”

“Yes.”

“I am too,” Bri agreed, “it just doesn't feel right.”

“How do we know it won't happen to us too?” Jade added.

“And I go next. At least if it doesn't work again you all will know and they'll have to change it. But as for me, I'll be dead.”

“Don't say that,” Bri said and put her arm around my shoulders.

“And it's not like we have a choice,” Lexi declared, throwing her arms in the air.

“I hate all of this responsibility,” Jade grunted.

“Maybe that's what killed Katelyn.” They all turned to me. “It was just too much.”

Everyone digested the idea for a second. I had seen the signs. She cringed as the nurses over-pampered her and wouldn't do anything except stare out of the stupid window. Feelings of hopelessness and the pressures wore her out.

“Ava's right, how crazy is it that a seventeen-year-old girl has to hold the responsibility of the survival of the human race?”

“No one checked beforehand that she was ‘compatible'?”

“It's like they believe so strongly in their method working that they refuse to try anything else.”

“What if there is nothing else to try?”

“Then what's worse: no more people after we die or killing off all the ones they have left?”

“If it doesn't work, eventually they have to accept it.”

“Yeah, and preferably before I become the next failed attempt.”

“Ava, could you talk to your mother?”

“I could try.”

“Sometimes I wish we could just run away from all of this,” Bri sighed.

I turned to her and something clicked. “What if we could?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

I grinned slowly, suddenly filled with a sense of hope.

“Oh no, not the…”

“Let's go back to the forest!” I exclaimed.

“No Ava, it's too dangerous,” Bri tried to reason with me.

“Besides, we can't go without Katelyn,” Lexi added, staring down at her lap.

I sighed and slumped back in my chair. “I just want out,” I said wearily.

“Forever?”

“No, just a temporary escape to clear my head.” It was only as I said it that I realised just how much I wanted one.

“Clear it somewhere else,” Jade said and ruffled my hair.

“I just thought that maybe we'd all feel a little more comfortable about going into this if we had some space from our everyday lives. I know I would.”

“But what if we get eaten?” Bri asked.

“Then we don't have to get the surgery.”

“What if next time we go the Bubble stays shut?” said Jade and crossed her arms.

“Then we don't have to get the surgery,” I sighed. “Listen, I just don't want to die without going back one more time.”

“Even without Katelyn?”

I looked at Bri and said, “Even without Katelyn.”

Lexi sighed, “I guess it could be OK.”

“Last time we went, Lexi, you were having so much fun I thought you might never leave,” I said and laughed remembering her darting through the trees screaming.

“It was sort of fun…”

“Yeah, well, I fell asleep,” Jade recalled.

“It was like two in the morning,” I said, still laughing.

“Three,” she corrected.

“Fine, we can go later. Does that work, Jade?”

“Hmm… I guess.”

“So let's meet at the edge of the Bubble by that little tree at seven?”

“Then our mothers will know we left.”

“We can say we went to the show,” I suggested.

“But then we'd have to be home by nine,” Lexi stated.

“So we can say we're going to the show and dinner.”

“Wait, but everyone has the day off,” Jade reminded us and sat forward. “We need a better excuse.”

“Nothing with sleepwalking!”

“Fine, how about…”

“No, Jade!” we all shouted.

“But I'm the best storyteller.”

“I can't believe we're lying,” Bri said with a shudder.

“Who said anything about lying?” Jade asked, leaning forward. “Remember what I always say: it's storytelling. A lie means there are malevolent motivations involved, storytelling doesn't. And everyone needs to tell a story or two in order to exercise their creativity.”

I thought back to Mother telling everyone that Katelyn was fine when she wasn't. “It's alright Bri. This one's for our own good.”

“If you insist.”

“Let's just say that we all want to go and catch up so it will be a while.”

“Sounds good.”

“Also I think we should honour Katelyn,” Bri suggested.

“What do you mean?”

“We each bring an item that reminds us of her, then we put them in the forest.”

“That's a nice idea,” said Lexi and reached over and squeezed Bri's hand.

“OK so it's settled,” I confirmed to the group. “Tonight at seven?”

“Tonight at seven.”

Chapter Ten

Ava, A Few Hours Later

Seven came and I found myself crouching by the bushes at the edge of the city. It was dark and the Bubble wall radiated a clear glow, only just visible from the inside. Strangely, it was colder sitting near the Bubble and I had to rub my hands together to keep warm.

Then I heard whispering coming from the other side of the hedge. I gripped the trunk of the lone tree and pulled myself up. The top of the hedge was slightly higher than me so I just had to wait and see who came.

“Are we at the right place?” a voice asked.

“I'm pretty sure,” another voice replied.

Then two hands stretched through the hedge and a head popped out. “Yep, I can see the tree,” said Lexi as she crawled through. “Ava?”

“Over here, Lex.”

She turned and jumped. “Ava, what are you doing behind the tree? You scared me.”

“Sorry,” I said and walked out from the shadows.

“A little help?” asked Jade who had one foot poking out of the hedge but was struggling to get the rest of her body through.

“Here.” Lexi leant over and pulled her through.

Jade dusted off her shoulders. “Thanks.”

Bri snuck through a moment later. “Is Ava here?”

“Hi Bri.” I waved.

“Oh hey. So should we go?”

“Did you bring the light-up tablets?”

“Sure did,” said Lexi and held up a small square tablet and flicked it on.